Chapter 23: Chapter 23

Yohan's POV

My eyes squinted as I stare at the top of the ceiling. I'm inside my music studio, lying on the sofa situated just beside the door.

Normally, I would only be doing music when I'm inside this room but now, I don't have any energy or even motivation to do so.

I left the unit earlier this morning as the boys were getting a little grumpy. Samantha's attitude towards us isn't helping us all either.

A sigh escaped my lips after remembering Jessie's face, how her body was shaking both in anger and disappointment towards us, especially me.

"Aissst!" I sat down on the cushion, unable to decide what to do.

It has been a week and it is bothering me so much.

I fucked up real hard and I don't even know how to fix this mess,

Not only did I hurt her really bad but our schedules are now at stake.

We were unable to finish our recording because we cannot focus. Plus, Jessie is no longer around, Mr. Kang doesn't seem to really like the idea of him deciding solely for the output. And we all know it's mostly my fault.

I shouldn't have mixed personal problems with work.

To be honest, I was a little disappointed to know that she was our music director but I can't seem to be able to pinpoint why.

Is it because I feel like she doesn't trust me enough?

Was I jealous because she seemed to be more musically inclined than me?

But I was never that jealous type. I mean, I know I'm not perfect and there are other people who are far better than I am when it comes to producing music.

"Ahh, I don't even know!!!" I said as I messed with my hair.

To be honest, I got a little scared when Samantha said that Jessie already withdraws being our music director. I'm not afraid of losing her as that, but somehow, I'm getting scared with the thought that I might not be able to see her anymore after this.

A week without her made me really grumpy and sensitive about everything. I normally just sleep during my free time but I can't seem to get some lately because all I think about is her.

Every time I try to close my eyes, her crying image flashes in front of me. I feel really guilty and I feel ashamed for being the reason why she had been lonely these days.

Of course, I knew that she's been crying since I found out her secret. Her eyes are always swollen. That night when I saw her carrying her luggage, I wanted to hug her real tight and apologize but I was so stupid.

Then I heard my doorbell ringing.

My brows furrowed. I have double soundproof doors so I needed to have a doorbell outside.

I slowly stood up from my seat and moved to open the door.

"Choi PD wants to see us." I groan after what Rome had said.

I looked at him and realized how in great trouble we are since Choi PD decided to show up. Lately, Choi PD no longer meddle with our stuff because he trusted us but I guess we really need some help right now.

I closed the door of my studio and followed Rome.

"I miss her."

I did not respond at what Rome had said. We very well knew what he is talking about and like me, they have been feeling guilty.

We entered the studio, the very same room where everything had happened and we saw Choi PD, the rest of the boys, Mr. Kang and the other staffs around.

Wow, a full house. I thought to myself.

Once seated, Choi PD cleared his throat.

"So, I guess you all know why we're gathered here today." he started.

My head hung low as well as the boys.

Haiden was fidgeting on the side.

"You were supposed to have your comeback after two months but since the song isn't even finished yet, our choreography isn't finish as well. The timetable that we have had been useless so we need to move everything forward."

Not a single soul responded.

"And I'm sure you all know why."

Silence filled the room. My eyes feel like burning.

The boys had worked really hard for this, so we can see our fans soon. But now, it's not only the fans that are disappointed, Choi PD, the staffs who've worked really hard are having a hard time because of our immaturity.

Because I am not sure about myself.

"Mr. Kang, how is the song going?" He asked.

I saw Mr. Kang scratch the back of his head, unable to respond.

"What will you all do of Jessie is no longer around? Won't you all be able to handle the final production of the music unless she approved it?" Choi PD sound a little frustrated all the more I felt guilty because they shouldn't be having problems with these if not for me.

"What do you plan to do next?"

Again, no one responded. Or nobody has the guts to do so.

"Rome..."

"Yes, Pd-nim." Rome looked up.

"I am so disappointed with your whole group."

My hands were on the top of my knees but I can't help but ball them in a fist.

This is all my fault.

Rome is unable to answer. Deep inside, he knows he's a part of this too.

"Josh, you're the oldest. Why did you not do anything?"

"And you Haiden, I expect you to at least not let them do these things" Haiden was already shaking.

Once in a while, these meeting happens. Not mainly to scold us but for us to realize what's happening and to make sure we are still on the right path.

"And you Yohan..." I looked up and saw the disappointment in his eyes.

I felt like a hundred needles started piercing through my heart. I automatically looked down as I felt the tears on my eyes started streaming down my face.

What have we done?

Soon enough, all of the boys were also crying.

I heard a sigh escaped on Choi PD's lips.

"We're not talking here because we want to blame all of you for what's happening. We hire people to fix these kinds of problems and we don't really care of we lose some money. Remember, your music isn't just about that. Your music moves beyond."

I wipe the tears falling down my cheeks.

"This is not even about Jessie anymore. This is all about you guys. What's happening?"

"I'm sorry pd-nim. This is actually all my fault." I muttered.

Rome interjected. "No. It's not just your fault. We're a part of it. We did the same to her and I'm ashamed of myself for doing those when the messages that we want to convey through our songs fits to her situation."

Again, silence fill the room. Only the sound of our sniffing can be heard.

"I can see that you're all reflecting with your actions." he started. "I hope that whatever misunderstandings that you guys and Jessie have, you'll be able to resolve it."

"But PD-nim, Jessie went home to her family and she already withdraw being our music director, how can we apologize to her?" Jason looked worried.

I looked up expectantly.

"Are you really sorry about what happened?" he asked.

All of us started nodding. A smile formed at the corner of his lips and my brows furrowed at that. Choi PD seemed to know something.

"Don't worry, Jessie will always be a part of Healing Heart Entertainment so you'll surely have a dozens of chance to apologize to her. But now, I want you to finish the remaining parts of your last song." he said.

That's a signal that out meeting has ended.

We all stood up as the other staff made their way out of the room. Before Choi PD walks out, we all bowed to him and thanks him for his guidance. Soon, only the seven of us was left on the room.

After a few minutes, I heard Mr. Kang's voice.

"Yohan, you'll go first."

"Yes." I said as I wipe the tears on my cheeks.

It's a good thing that my voice isn't shaking.

The rest of the boys sat on the couch inside the recording studio and like before, the glass in front was tinted.

Once I heard the music, I started doing my part.

I'm a little motivated after that pep talk. I will do this for our fans, for the boys and of course, for her.

The music stopped and I waited for Mr. Kang's feedback. The boys were also listening expectantly.

"Good job Yohan. Now, I want you to do the next part and make sure not to do it a little too fast"

My eyes went wide open after hearing the voice echoing in the room.

The boys looked startled as well as they stood up from their seat.

And then the light on the other side of the tinted glass lit up and we saw Samantha standing behind Jessie who was sitting down on the same spot that she had last time.

"Hey, Jessie!!!!" the boys ran outside the booth after seeing her but I stayed on my seat as I looked into her eyes.

A smile spread on my face as I mouthed the words that I've been dying to tell her for over a week already.

"I'm sorry."

A relieved sigh escaped on my lips when I saw her smile at me.

And I laugh after I saw the boys barge in the room and hug the girl real tight.

Samantha was smacking them real hard for pancaking her.

All the more I have the motivation to do better.

I'll make sure to make it up to her everyday onwards.

Once the boys had calmed down, I heard her voice again and my heart fluttered for a moment.

"Let's do this?" her beautiful face was gazing on me.

God, I miss her so much.

I flashed my gummy smile on her and showed her a thumbs up.

Now that you're here, of course, we can do this.

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