Chapter 19: Chapter 19

Jessie's POV

"Haiden, I prepared you guys dinner." I said as I try to get their attention.

"Rome..."

I tried calling each of the boys but none even paid attention.

After what happened earlier, the guys all went back to their dorm, and of course, Yohan told them about it.

The boys were all disappointed and everybody except Josh oppa was glaring daggers at me.

Josh oppa is with Samantha unnie. Apparently, Samantha unnie has her period and she gets really weird if she has so the boys decided to stay in my unit, but after what happened, they all went back without batting an eye.

A sigh escaped my lips as none of the boys stood up even after I told them I've cooked.

Jake continued playing on his phone while Jason and Vash were playing some sort of a game on their own.

Rome was reading a book and Haiden was pretending to be busy while watching a television.

As for Yohan, I've never seen him since then. I'm guessing that he's inside his room.

I tried to stop the tears that is trying to escape my lips.

Why does it hurt so bad?

I've been ignored more than half of my life but why am I still being affected like this?

I guess it's because even if I've only stayed for a few weeks with them, I've come to love their presence around me.

The way Josh teaches me his recipes whenever he cooks...

The way Haiden dances happily in front of me every time I look sad...

The way Rome talks to me about anything, giving out his honest opinions...

The way Jason messes up with my hair every time he sees me...

The way Vash flashes his boxy smile in front of me and talks to me about anything that is really weird...

The way Jake shyly smiles at me but will always help me whenever...

And of course, Yohan...

My dear Yohan...

I don't even know when it started but I feel like he holds a special part in my life...

I am missing everything about him...

The way he teases me whenever...

The way my heart flutters by a simple touch from him...

It wasn't even long after we had our so called 'first date' but I ended up messing everything.

I knew I was somehow at fault because I never told them but deep inside, I was hoping that they will at least understood.

Did I really give them so much hard time that they were acting like these towards me?

An hour had passed but no one stood up. I know they were hungry but I guess they're more okay with getting famished rather than acknowledging my presence.

My eyes landed on my lap. I was seating on the cushion.

"Are you guys really going to ignore me like this?"

Again, no one responded.

I decided to stand up and call Yohan.

I can't give up like these easily. I not the same Jessie anymore. Ever since, I've always let everything go the way it is. But after meeting them, I feel like even my personality changed.

They've made me realize that it's okay to let people know of my existence and allow others to appreciate what I can offer. So this time, instead of just letting people go, I decided to give it a try. Because I feel like these boys are worth it.

My knuckles came in contact with Yohan's door.

"Yohan, the food's ready."

I leaned my ear to listen if there is any movement inside the room.

Then I decided to knock again.

I can even hear the beating of my heart.

I am getting nervous.

"Yohan, can I come in?" I asked but still no response. After the third knock, I decided to open the door.

I very well know that I will get into a deep shit trouble for this but I'm ready to take a risk.

I need to talk to him.

I need him.

My eyes closed after I smell his sweet scent.

"Yohan?"

I said as I slowly enter his room.

Like the last time, his room was so dark, the curtains are close and the room was freezing due to the air-conditioning.

My eyes landed on his figure sitting at the corner of his bed.

His cold eyes landed on me...

I gulped.

"Yohan, please... At least let me explain."

He glared at me.

My heart felt like twisting from the inside.

His eyes seem so empty and it hurts to know that I was the one who cause that emptiness.

And then I saw him smirk, and the glint on his eyes changes.

Is that betrayal that I saw?

"What? I don't need your explanation. Just leave my room please."

My tears are threatening to escape from my eyes.

I can't cry in front of him.

I don't want to seem like the same old crybaby that I am.

"I didn't mean to keep it a secret from all of you, I swear." I tried talking out to him. I took a step closer but his voice echoed inside of the room.

"I said I don't care! Leave me alone! Or better yet, leave us all alone!"

I flinched a little at the sound of his voice, his eyes fuming in anger. The hate present on his eyes is burning a hole in my heart and its killing me.

Why does it feel like it's so hard to breath?

"Yohan..." a tear finally escaped my eyes.

He turned his head away from me.

"Please leave."

I bit my lower lip to stop myself from crying more.

I slowly turned around and walked back to the door. But before I can even go out, I looked at him one last time,

"Just know that I had a good time being with you guys... And I'm sorry if you all felt betrayed but please know that it was never my intention."

I looked at him but he's not even listening.

"Yohan..."

But he didn't dare look back.

My grip on the doorknob tighten and I felt my heart crushing into pieces.

Yes, Jessie, it still fucking hurts to be ignored but I guess you deserve it. Like always....

After closing the door, I was startled when I saw Jake passing by.

His eyes landed on me and he seems uncomfortable so I nodded to him and went inside my room.

I don't want to put more burden with the boys.

I moved to my closet and pulled out my clothes.

I guess it's time for me to go back to where I belong.

My tears kept falling while I put my things on my luggage.

Why does it feel like I don't even want to go?

It was already passed midnight when I finished packing and the boys were already inside their room.

I guess this would be the best time to go to make it less awkward.

I slowly moved my things out of my room, before I closed the door, I took a quick glance on my room.

I remember how Yohan barged in my room the first time. A smile escaped my lips.

At least I have good memories.

Before I even reached the front door, I was taken aback when I someone came out from the kitchen.

Yohan stopped from his tracks once he saw me. His eyes landed on my bags.

For a second, I thought I saw guilt and confusion seeping through hus eyes.

"Ahmm, I'm moving back." I said as I break the silence between the two of us.

He did not respond. Instead, he just walked past me and I swear I heard my heart breaking the million time this day.

"Leave the key."

I heard him say before he went inside his room.

"Of course..." I said to myself.

I left the key on the table. Once I went out of the front door, I looked back and stared the door I just came out with.

Those times we shared, those memories, do those doesn't really mean anything for you?

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