Chapter 5: Chapter 5
Five
Where in hell do I start from?, guess I'll just start by saying that, Family is definitely one of the greatest factor that can Make up or Mess up the life of a budding teenager, and I'd also like to put it out there that life as a Second born child in the home is definitely not the sweetest experience, especially in my case.
I'm the second of the three kids bestowed to my parents by my God and for some reasons, they called me Star, I actually think my elder brother should have gotten that name instead, I mean, he's the Star Child. Don't get me wrong, I'm not the envious little sister that loathes her brother for always being the one on the mind of their parents and all, neither am i the kind of sibling that plots the downfall of her elder brother or younger sister because she's sad and feels alone, It just gets lonely sometimes.
I've always got to work twice as hard to impress my parents, why? Because TJ did the exact same thing last year,
I've got to sit at the table and watch TJ get the first biggest portion of the chicken, Oh because, he's the first child. And when the second largest portion goes to Dawn, (my younger sister), It's because she's the baby of the house. And I guess I'm just invisible right? So yeah, I'm left with the portion of the chicken no one really wants because dad ends up taking another major part of the chicken, and mom follows suit. Listen to me, and listen to me well, all this isn't about some stupid chicken and how it's being shared, it's just all about the fact that I'm always being constantly ignored, and I know there are other far more important things to worry about, I mean, kids die everyday, there's an hurricane here and there, I get, but...i just can't help it, I feel so damn lonely everytime I'm around my family, and i think it's sad.
Still remember that fateful day, when I got the news that I'd aced my WEAC exams, I was bursting to announce the news to everyone but i decided a paper proof was going to make it way better, so i secretly left the house, got into a cafe, printed my excellent result and excitedly ran home.
The sight of Dad and TJ seated on the lovers couch with their eyes fixed on TJ's tablet, apparently they were watching a basketball game, and that of Mom and Dawn on the dinning table working on a Mathematics question or whatever, was discouraging, but I refused to let it kill my joy and I finally screams "Mom...Dad, I passed my WAEC!" picture me holding my result with my hands held high and the biggest smile spreaded on my face. Yeah. Dad and TJ looked up from the stupid tablet and they both smiled and murmured words of congratulations, Mom on the other hand smiled and asked me to bring the result, she accessed it and said the thing I dreaded the most, "Two years ago, TJ brought something like this home" I was furious, but I smiled instead, it didn't help that they all started talking about TJ's WAEC result and barely even noticed when i walked away.
I remember running to my room, collapsing on my bed and burying my head in my pillow, crying my whole eyes out, it also didn't help again that a neighbor of mine decided to play "Safe" by Nico Santos at that crucial point in time. I didn't feel safe. So I did the stupidest thing ever, trust me it felt cool when I did it. I think I'd just go ahead and blame my stupidity on Thirteen Reasons why, episode 13 Season1. So yeah, I picked my phone up, placed "Lana Del Rey's" Ride on repeat, got into a white dress I probably wore once for a dance drama, at that time it was 4 sizes bigger than I was, but now it fit perfectly. I think i applied a blood red lipstick, yeah I did, damn I'm so dramatic. I even sprayed on two of my favorite cologne. I walked slowly to the door, twisted the key twice, walked over to my first aid box, picked up a new razor blade, I remember staring at the blade for two minutes before walking to my bathroom and watched in patience as water filled up the bathtub.
I got into the bathtub, carefully placed my phone on one side of the tub as the music played, I mean Lana's voice made me cry, it added to the drama. To be sincere, I was terrified, I mean, I knew perfectly well that I was about to do something stupid, I was going to end my own existence but it felt really weird that i actually really wanted to do it, and why? Because of family? I prayed secretly prayed for someone to knock the door or for mom or dad to call my name, or something. But no one did any of that. And just as I was about to slit my own wrist, I heard my phone ring. I remember smiling and breathing out in relief, It was a phone call from Ruth, yeah we did attend the same secondary school too. Pick picked up and just as I was about to thank her for saving my life, she cut me short by saying "Hold on a sec, I don't have much time to talk, I just called to ask if you could please, check my WAEC result for me, I'm too scared to check it, and when you do please text it to me through WhatsApp. Thank you, wait, what were you going to say again?" I told her "Nothing" she said "Okay" and ended the call. At least I had something to live for, checking my friends WAEC results. Yayyy. I sighed in frustration as I stood up from what was about to be my death bed... Or tub.