Chapter 12: Chapter 12

XI

"You know, there is one myth I really like. It's quite short." I start and Axel hums. "Really? Tell me about it." We woke up about an hour ago, brushed our teeth, managed to have sex again in the bathroom while taking a shower, and ate breakfast.

Axel's back is completely filled with scratches and I feel horrible about it and apologized about a hundred times, but he claims that he finds it hot and refuses to wear a shirt.

I also found my neck full of hickeys this morning when looking at the mirror but when I confronted him about it, he simply smirked and said that now "everyone will know that I'm taken."

I rolled my eyes and argued that they'll think I'm a whore but he simply rolled his eyes and changed the topic to Wolfie. We both knew that we had to have the talk about how our relationship will be from now on, but we're both leaving it for later.

Right now, we were on the swing-couch outside in the backyard, him sitting and my head resting in his lap as we gently swinged. He was playing with my hair and I was looking to the distance, at the grass and then the trees that spread into forest.

Our house was at the end on the town, forest spread in the near distance from us. Usually, on the weekends, I'd take a walk to the forest and spend an hour there because of Wolfie who loved it there.

"Well, it talks about how Zeus created people. It says that originally, people had four arms, four legs and a head with two faces."

"That's creppy as fuck."

I roll my eyes, forcing myself not to smile. "Anyway, apparently Zeus split them into two separate beings because he was afraid of their power. After he did that, however, he condemnded them to spend their lives in search of each other." I finished. "I always really loved that myth."

"It's nice." he replies and starts digging into his pockets. "Shame it's not real though."

I frown at him. "Oh, shush. It might be. Don't ruin my pretty story for me."

My frown deepens when I see it's cigarettes that he's pulling out of his pocket.

I look away from him. Somehow, I'd forgotten about his awful addiction.

"What's wrong?" he asks.

"Nothing." I whisper. I don't want to argue with him. I just got him back. Kind of.

He sighs. "You know I smoke."

I just nod, still looking away. "I just really hate it. It's bad for you and it makes me feel like I'm not taking good care of you."

He frowns. "Why would you need to be taking care of me?"

"Because I love you. If you love someone it means that you take care of them." I explain and he's quiet for a few moments. The air suddenly doesn't feel as relaxed as it did before.

He sighs after a while. "If I stopped smoking, would you take me back?"

I shot up into a sitting position, eyes open wide. "What?"

"I want you back." he says, tucking my hair behind my ear. "I'm completely in love with you and you know it. I have tried being without you and it just... It doesn't work for me. I can't live without you because if I don't have you, I don't have anything, these past few months have proved that." He takes a deep breath, as if preparing for a deep confession. "You know," he starts, "I tried to convince myself that I hate you when you left. I wanted to hate you so bad for it because you destroyed every piece of me.

"So I told myself that I hated you every day, everytime I thought of you, but I knew it was meaningless. I fucking knew that it was all just a fucking lie, going to rip me inside out, yet I still did it. I'm ready to stop this fucking lying to myself now, I think.

"So we should take it slow, I need to start being what you need me to be. So I'm asking you, if I stop smoking, would you take me back?"

I sit there, just looking at him and observing this gorgeous, flawed man in front of me, asking me to take him back, and I can't do anything but nod.

"Of course I would, Axel. I don't want you to change, though, I love you the way you are." I say and he raises a brow.

"So I can still smoke?"

I wince and purse my lips. "Maybe without smoking? Could you do that for me? For yourself?"

"I could try." he replies, shrugging. "I have been wanting to stop smoking for a while now, anyway."

My brows shot up. "Really?"

He nods. "Yeah, but I'm not sure I can stop. I'll try, okay? I promise." he smiles and I grin at him, throwing my arms around him.

"I'm so happy." I whisper in his ear. I really hated him smoking, and it would mean the world to me if he would stop.

"Yeah, yeah." he says, but I can feel his smile on the skin of my neck.

"So where do we go from here?" I slowly ask, leaning on his shoulder with my head and taking his fingers in my hands like I always do.

"Well, I was thinking of maybe renting an apartment somewhere around here." he says.

I could swear my ssubcncious is dancing on the inside.

"And I could go to your school when the next semester starts in September."

"That would be nice." I smile. "So we're really doing this?"

"Doing what?"

"This. Us. Starting over again."

"I'd like to, would you?" he asks.

"I'd love to. I've been everything but happy since I lost you." I say.

He looks away from my eyes, into the distance and sighs.

"This is for real though, you know, right? No bullshit and stuff like that. This would be serious, if we do this."

"That's what I want, Axel."

"If you're not ready, tell me now." he presses and it dawns upon me how much this really must mean to him. "I want you to tell me now, and I'll walk away and leave you for good. I'd rather hear it now, than after a while and go through the same thing again."

I start shaking my head, about to tell him not to worry, but he doesn't let me and continues, taking my head in his hands.

"But if you do want me, I'm staying and I'm staying forever. It's what I want and need. I promise to you to love you and you only, that I won't look at any other fucking girl the way I look at you, that I won't want any other girl the way I want you. You're everything to me, Sophie, it's pretty fucking obvious. Do you want this? It means no more fucking around, no other guys, no games, no leaving each other, this time is for real." he says, and there is this longing look in his eyes that I wish I had the ability to be able to describe.

He's begging me, like a beggar for a piece of bread after not having eaten in a month.

"I want it, Axel, I really do. It's been hell for me, too." I tell him.

"What about Tom?" he asks.

"I hate him."

"Call him here, right now." he demands and I nod, taking his hand and leading him inside with me to fetch my phone. Inside, I'm terrified to speak to him, but I'll do anything for Axel. With a sick feeling in my stomach, I call Tom and put the phone on speaker, closing my eyes and taking my head in my hands. Axel's fingers travel up and down my back with comforting moves.

"Sophie," sounds through the speaker and I squeeze my eyes shut further, Axel's movements stopping. "I am so, so, sor-"

"I don't want to hear it." I cut him off. "Come to my house, we need to talk."

He's silent for a few moments and then he speaks. "Okay."

I hang up and look for comfort in Axel's eyes, letting out a deep breath.

"I'm scared." I whisper and his eyes soften completely.

"It's okay, I'll be there. Don't worry."

Tom comes a few minutes later, limping into the house. Axel is with me all the time as I tell him that I forgive him but that I never want to see him again. He seems shocked and starts screaming that he was drunk and this isn't fair. He says that he doesn't want to lose me, but he doesn't make a move to Axel,  he just calls him a psychopath and tells me that I'm completely mental to date him. Axel contains himself somehow until Tom begins to call me names, that's when he tells me to leave them for a minute.

I leave the kitchen until I hear the door slam shut and I return to find Axel alone there. When I ask him what happened he just shruggs and tells me that Tom won't bother me anymore so I leave it at that.

"I have work in a few hours." I tell him and he nods.

"Okay, I'm just going to walk Wolf a bit then and maybe look for an apartment, is that fine?"

I nod. "Sure. Sonia will come in a few hours from work, but I don't think she'll bother you much."

He winces. "Do you think she likes me?"

I laugh. "Trust me, she does." He gives me a questioning look and I just laugh harder, remembering her face while she was humping the door.

"Come, let's make lunch. God knows neither of us will have appetite when my parents come in a couple of days so we should eat while we're still hungry."

The look on his face gets me laughing once more.