Chapter 27: Chapter 27

Nabeel's Point Of View.

I was the most stupid and dumbest person ever. How could I even thought of doing what I did? I let her go, yeah... I know I didn't love her, even though I tried to, but I just couldn't.

Arranged marriages aren't always the best options or solution to our problems, but our parents just couldn't seemed to understand those fact. Sometimes, no matter how one try to please you instead of loving that person you tend to hate him/her. I know Husnah tried her possible best to make me happy, but why live with her when I absolutely felt nothing for her? Why waste her time instead of letting her go and find someone else? I wanted appreciating her, wanted loving her but just couldn't! Maybe our parent's didn't seemed to understand that love doesn't work that way. Maybe things worked out for them in the olden days, and with their thoughts and belief for that they think it'll work for us too!

Life, really, is dynamic. Who we are today differs from who we will become tomorrow. That the part they failed to understand.

What hurts me more was how I made myself ending up with Amrah. Lord! I didn't even knew what was wrong with me when I got into a relationship with her. I just couldn't imagined that I cheated on my beloved wife, Fareedah. The worst news I learnt yesterday got my heart broken the more... what Amrah and Fareedah always did just so I could divorce Husnah. Even though I never loved her, I have it in mind to let her go but chose to use what I saw on my phone as evidence. I was stupid right? Yes I knew that, and I'd have to face the consequences alone!

Husnah's Point Of View.

'Everybody gets high sometimes you know'

'What else can we do when we're feeling low'

'So take a deep breathe and let it go'.

'We shouldn't be drowning on our own'.

'And if you feel you're sinking... I'll jump right over into cold cold water for you'.

'And although time may take us into different places I'll still be patient with you'.

'And I hope you know...'

'I won't let go...'

'I'll be your life line tonight...'

'I won't let go...'

'I'll be your lifeline tonight'

"You're are going to get through it Abu Amirah. In shaa Allah... nothing will happen to you, and no matter what I'll still be here... waiting for you patiently" I whispered into his ears. I didn't know how I was even able to handle all this. I thought I'll faint after listening to the doctor. But no, tears didn't even flow like they always did... I had a strong belief in Qadr (destiny), and no matter what happens... I would always be glad and will always thank Him.

***

"He has brain tumor". The doctor said.

"What? What do you mean brain tumor?" I asked quickly.

"Yes miss. He has brain tumor. Which is located at the occipital lobe (damage to this lobe may result to poor or loss of vision). I invited some doctors over to have a look at him. And when we come into a conclusion about what to do... I'll let you know. Have a nice day miss".

***

It took the doctors two days to come into a conclusion. I had to be the one to accept the results and what they said. Why? Because mama was still mute, and have I remembered to tell you that Abu Amirah was an orphan? Well... he actually was. He was also the only child his parents ever had.

***

"We have arrived at a decision miss. There are three ways in which brain tumor can be cured with. we have surgery (complete or partial resection of the tumor with the main objective of removing as many tumor cells as possible). We also have radiotherapy (the tumor is irradiated with beta, xrays or gamma rays). And lastly, we have the chemotherapy (a treatment option for cancer, however, it is not always use for brain tumors)." The doctor explained

"Which of the option is safer?" I asked slowly. My throat was so sour that I couldn't even bring myself up to speak.

"If it's okay with you all... then I suggest surgery".

"Get on with it then".

***

And as I st beside him, pouring out my heart. Reciting every single dua that comes through my lips. Yaa Allah... if it'll be khair for me and the entire ummah, then i ask upon you to please make it easy for Abu Amirah. Yaa Allah, see him through.

"It's time miss". A nurse announced.

And just like that, I felt tears trailing down my cheeks. 'Damn harmones!'.

I quickly left the room and couldn't even control my tears anymore.

"Abu Amirah will make it". Those where the words I keep repeating to myself as I left the room. I sat down at the reception not bothering about the eyes following me around thinking that I was mad. Yeah, they ought to think that way. It was even good that I sent mama home along with Salimah when Hamma Khaleel came over.

I sat there praying, praying so hard... so hard that I feel like I wasn't even using the right words.

"As salaamu alaikoom". A voice whispered.

And as I looked up, my eyes locked up with Nabeel. 'Oh lord! What is he doing here again?'.

"Can I please sit down?" He asked as if he was afraid to speak.

I only nodded in response. I had no might left in me anymore to send him away. What good would it bring me?

"He'll be okay in shaa Allah" he said again. "Have faith Asmaa'... you have a big heart and you've embraced a lot of things in the past few years. Pray real hard, and In Shaa Allah you'll see him walk out of this hospital sound and healthy". He added.

"Thank you" I murmured.

We sat in silence for almost an hour, before Nabeel spoke up again, "Forgive me please Asmaa'" he blurted out. He had been shifting uncomfortably in the chair he was sitting on. I knew why... It was because he had something to say.

"I am so sorry Asmaa'. I know I've hurt you, but believe me when I say what I did is the best for both of us. What use will it be if I keep staying with you and hating you the more instead of loving you? It's worthless. I know you are angry at how I accused you, and I also know that I broke your heart..."

"My heart has already been mended Nabeel. It has never been as healthy as it is now". I cut him off.

He heaved a sigh before he spoke up again, "I'm happy for you then. And I'm glad you are happy now, and believe me when I say that nothing makes me more happier now than reminding how happy you are with Sadeeq right now. Amrah betrayed me... she lied to me that she is carrying my baby and I felt guilty, I couldn't even bring myself to look up at Fareedah. But do you know what I found out yesterday? That baby belongs to Fahad and not me".

I was shocked beyond words. 'Subhannallah! What the hell is wrong with Amrah ne? What is she getting herself into?'.

"And now, I'm here for test. To know if I have any sexual transmitted disease" he added sadly.

"What?" I asked shocked. Could my heart really handle all that in just a matter of time? I didn't think so.

"Yeah, she has been sleeping around with different guys without protection. It wouldn't be a surprise if I have STD, right?"

"It won't happen In Shaa Allah" I heard myself say quickly "that will never happen to you Nabeel. You'll get through it".

He looked at me closely and let out a smile. "You have one of the biggest heart I've ever known. You aren't mad at me anymore?".

"Why should I be? You gave me a chance to find someone better. Someone who is willing to make me happy. Someone who even gave me his child, his heart and nothing but his love. He's in there right now fighting for his life. All I want now is for him to be safe and sound". I sniffed "I only want to be HIS right now Nabeel. There is no way I can still be angry at you. If I happen to still be angry at you, then I don't believe in QADR, and neither am I thankful to Allah for granting me all I have now".

"You are a blessing in disguise" he said slowly.

"I forgive you Nabeel. I forgive you for whatever it is you did. It's already a bygone to me right now... nothing but a bygone".

"Jazakhillah bil jannah umm amirah. I'm forver grateful to you. And In Shaa Allah, your fiancée will make it. Allah is ever merciful".

Nine hours later...

"Excuse me nurse". She didn't stop

"Please, how is he doing?" I asked another nurse who rushed out of the room again. She also didn't answer.

"Calm down and lets keep praying Husnah. He'll make it In Shaa Allah" Nabeel said. Yeah, he had been by my side since then. And even when Hamma jabir, Hamma Khaleel and Hamma Naseer visited, he still didn't leave. With all the harsh words and threats they gave him... he still didn't bulge. I had to work hard to calm their angry nerves.

"I can't. They've been in there for more than nine hours right now. I can't keep calm... please, I hope he's going to make it".

"Here comes the doctor" I didn't even wait for him to reach where we were standing when I rushed over to him. He was sweating real hard and looked tired.

He looked at me, more like a look of sorrow in his eyes. 'No! That can't be'.

"He's not..." I tried to speak but couldn't.

"The surgery was a success miss. All we have to do is wait for him to come round. Congratulations".

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