Chapter 49: Chapter 49

Forty Nine - Needing reassurance.

I make my way to the kitchen sink, pouring myself a nice cold glass of water. The minute it touches my lips, I guzzle it down, feeling instantly relieved at the soothing feeling it has on my throat. Getting drunk doesn't appeal to me whatsoever but I still know how to have fun. I smile at a few others lingering around the kitchen before placing the cup back into the sink.

"You're Jake's girlfriend, aren't you?"

I spin around, meeting a busty blonde that I've never seen before. She's wearing a very low cut top and a denim miniskirt finished off with six inch pink heels.

"Hi, yes I am." I smile warmly at her, wiping my hands on the tea towel.

"You're so lucky," she breathes out, twirling a strand of blonde hair around her finger.

"Yes I am," I replied hastily, trying to dodge her so I can get back to the party. She purposely stands in my way, shuffling on her heels.

"You're the one who was in a coma, right?" She asks and I crease my eyebrows up at her words. How does she know that? Maybe she's someone from college. . .

"Yes, I was." I respond, my voice monotone as I try again to step round her. She bounces on her heels, standing right in front of me before placing a hand on my arm.

"Oh my god! I am so glad you're okay, I saw Jake at the hospital and he was such a mess!" She says, her voice annoyingly squeaky and her tone fake. I smile tightly, unsure that she's genuinely glad for my health at all.

"Oh, do you know Jake personally?" I ask her, leaning back against the kitchen sink. She smirks at my words, twirling her hair faster round her finger which is becoming annoying, really fast. She giggles, batting her long eyelashes.

"You could say that."

I narrow my eyes at her response, feeling very uneasy at this whole conversation. I stand up straight, clapping my hands together to remove invisible dust.

"Okay, I should get back to the party," I say cheerfully, trying to be nice. She grabs onto my arm once again before leaning in close.

"He is amazing in bed isn't he?" She giggles once again. I blink in surprise, wondering whether I heard her correctly.

"Excuse me?" I spit out, taking a step back. I pull my arm free from her grasp and turn on my heel, heading for the door.

Just how many girls has Jake slept with?

I feel my breathing quicken and the familiar squeezing pain in my chest. The room feels like it's shrinking in size, the walls closing in around me. I head for the back door instead, needing to get some fresh air.

The garden is practically empty and I head for the wall, perching myself up onto it. I shut my eyes and let the cold air seep its way into my skin, cooling me down. My breathing shallows out and I feel grateful for the fact I can breath easily again. I've never slept with anyone yet it seems like Jake has his fair share of girls. . .

"Want a smoke?" I hear a familiar voice and turn to meet Tobias' eyes. I nod silently, feeling a little numb and Tobias hands me a cigarette which I gladly accept. I don't even smoke yet the cigarette looks appealing to me. Maybe it's the alcohol in my system.

I place the end of the tip in my mouth, balancing it between my lips. I lean forward and motion for Tobias to light me up. He silently cups around my cigarette, blocking the wind out before he sparks the cigarette to life.

"Have you ever smoked before?" He asks me quietly, sitting next to me on the wall. I shake my head before placing the cigarette in my mouth and inhaling. I'd seen people around me smoke my entire lifetime so I know what to do. The warm burning sensation scratches the back of my throat and I breathe out, spluttering a little from the harsh nicotine. I feel Tobias chuckle quietly next to me and I narrow my eyes at him.

"Don't laugh at me," I say firmly, flicking the ash off the cigarette onto the grass below.

He holds his hands up in surrender, balancing his own cigarette between his lips. I watch as he inhales deeply, closing his eyes as he does so before blowing the smoke into the dark sky.

"Are you not enjoying the party?"

"Not enjoying the people," I correct him, mumbling.

"Who upset you?"

"Some blonde blow up barbie doll." I say harshly, inhaling deeply as I felt my anger rise.

"I honestly don't understand girls sometimes." I choke out, coughing again. Maybe the smoking life isn't for me.

"What did she say?"

"It doesn't matter, it's dumb anyway," I grumble, shivering from the cold air. Tobias jumps off the wall, pulling his jacket off him and drapes it around my shoulders.

"Thank you," I say quietly, feeling warmth spread through my body instantly.

"Tell me? It's not dumb if she upset you," Tobias urges, jumping back onto the wall. He shuffles a little before sitting on it comfortably.

I sigh, debating whether I should mention it to him or not. Considering the situation we were in right now, maybe it wasn't the best time to be telling him about my doubts sleeping with Jake.

"It's fine, honestly Tobias." I sigh, shrugging his jacket off and handing it to him. I give him back the cigarette too, squirming at the taste it leaves behind in my mouth.

"See you later," I murmur before jumping off the wall. I land unsteadily on my heels and waver a little, feeling lightheaded. Tobias' hand shoots out and he grabs onto my arm, steadying me.

"Careful there," he says quietly and I turn, giving him a thankful smile before heading back inside. I decide I'm going to find Jake and ask him about the blonde. I enter the living room, noticing how the crowds are thinning out, people chatting quietly on the couches. The music has been turned down slightly so it wasn't booming off the walls and I grimace, my eyes landing on a couple making out heavily in the corner.

I sigh and make my way to the second room. It's crammed full with intoxicated teenagers and I push my way through, trying to spot Jake in the crowd. Someone bumps into me, knocking me sideways and I stumble in my heels, falling into someone.

"Hey, watch it!"

"Sorry." I mumble, pushing past them. I'm just about to give up when I noticed him in the corner of the room with his back to me. His leather jacket and broad shoulders stand out from the crowd and I weave my way towards him.

As I get closer, I notice he isn't alone much to my annoyance. The busty blonde barbie is stood in front of him, cup in one hand and twirling her hair flirtatiously with the other. She bats her long eyelashes at him and laughs loudly at something he says which I'm too far to hear over the noise in the room.

A lump forms in the back of my throat and I approach them warily. I feel a pang of jealousy as I see the blondes hand shoot out and land on Jake's arm, stroking his skin ever so subtly. My throat run dry and I want to force myself to look away but I physically can't. She leans in closer, whispering something in his ear and I see him shake his head before turning around.

His eyes instantly connect with mine and I stare straight into them before glancing at the blonde. The look of amusement on her face as she smirks at me made me want to rip out her fake hair extensions.

"Emily," Jake says, heading towards me with his hand outstretched. I shake my head at him, unable to speak and turn around quickly, elbowing my way through the crowd. I don't stop until I'm back outside in the garden which feels like the only place I can breathe.

I stomp up to a surprised looking Tobias, grabbing his cigarette out of his hands.

"I thought you don't like smoking."

"Sorry," I mumble for the third time tonight. I hear Jake shout me from behind but choose to ignore him and carried on going until I reach the end of the garden. I take a seat on an old garden chair and wrap my arm around myself in an effort to stay warm. My other hand lifts the cigarette to my mouth and I take a long drag, inhaling it deeply.

"Emily, what's wrong?" Jake asks me, getting closer. His eyes land on the cigarette I'm holding between my fingers.

"Since when do you smoke?" He questions, his eyebrows raised. I blow the smoke back out in his direction obnoxiously before replying —

"Since blow up barbie tells me how good my boyfriend is in bed then throws herself all over him whilst I'm watching."

I raise the cigarette back up to my lips and Jake takes a step forward, grabbing it from my hands. He throws it to the floor before standing on it, putting it out.

"Hey!" I say angrily, standing up to face him. He usually towered over me but with the heels I'm wearing, we're almost eye level. I watch as his eyebrow rise once more and he takes a step back.

"What have I done wrong?" He asks me, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"It's not you, it's the countless girls leering at you and letting me know how good you are in bed." I shake my head, feeling the frustration build up inside me.

"I've never slept with anyone Jake and I have girls letting me know how experienced you are. Throwing themselves at you in front of my face."

Tobias begins to approach us, concern in his eyes as he notices the confrontation between us.

"Are you two okay?" He asks, keeping his distance from Jake.

"We're fine, go away." Jake snaps, not even bothering to look at him. Tobias looks at me and I nod at him, letting him know everything's okay. I see Jake's jaw lock angrily as Tobias' presence lurks in the atmosphere before he turns and walks away, leaving us alone once again.

"Emily, I don't want anyone but you," Jake says, his eyes growing soft as he speaks.

"You are beautiful Muffin and I love you. No matter how jealous others get or try to ruin what we have, I won't let them. It's something special, I know it. I feel it every time I look at you."

My heart softens at his words and I look into his eyes which look pleading and apologetic. He holds out his hand and I sigh before reaching for it, locking our fingers together.

"You're the one I want," Jake adds, pulling me close to his chest. His body heat radiates off him and I cuddle into him closer, feeling my breathing even out finally.

"You're the one I'm crazy about," he whispers planting a kiss onto my forehead.

"I'm sorry," I mumble into his chest and he pulls back, holding me at arms length.

"What for?" He questions and I look at him sheepishly —

"For being a crazy jealous girlfriend."

Jake laughs quietly, his breath tickling my face.

"I get jealous at anyone who even as much breathes in your direction. Remember what I said at the hospital? We don't have to do anything you don't want to. I'm still gonna love you the exact same even if you choose not to sleep with me Emily." He says and I smile warmly at him, knowing he means every word. He gives me a reassuring smile before draping his arm over my shoulders —

"Let's get you inside before you freeze, I like my Muffins warm and toasty," he jokes, causing me to giggle. I can feel my worries melting instantly from his words.

"That's better, I love seeing you smile." Jake murmurs down my ear, kissing my temple as we make our way back inside.

"You're the biggest cheeseball I know," I grin, nestling closer against him. Jake simply grins back at me, his blue eyes twinkling in the dark night.

*****

"Thanks for dropping by," Jake says, raising his beer to the crowd as they leave the house.

"Great party Jake!" Someone yells out, stumbling onto the drive. Jake chuckles before waving once again and finally closing the door, signalling the end of the party.

"Peace at last," he whispers loudly and I smile at him, holding my hand for him to take.

"Where are we going?" He asks, his voice low.

"Your bedroom," I reply, watching as his eyes turn a shade darker at my response.

*****

Jake's POV -

Seeing her in that dress with her curves and long soft legs was enough to send me over the edge. All night I was distracted by my thoughts about her. I knew every man's eyes were on her, she literally turned heads as she walked by. I wanted to rip their throats out knowing they were having thoughts about her.

Her dark hair is sprawled across my pillow and her large brown eyes are filled with arousal. She looks so innocent, so pure and I swallow the lump in my throat knowing if I sleep with her, it would cause her pain. I never ever want to hurt her.

My mouth runs dry as I take in the beauty of her body. She looks up at me, brown eyes wide and innocent as she craves my approval.

"You're beautiful, have I told you that?" I whisper and she smiles warmly at me, her eyes twinkling.

"All the time."

Moments of passion filled with kisses and touching pass and things between us began to escalate until before I know it, I'm almost there. I stop and sigh deeply, closing my eyes.

"Jake, it's okay." Emily whispers, cupping my cheek and stroking it gently. I nestle my cheek into her palm and feel physically sick at the pain I'm about to put her through. The fact that she trusts me enough to do this with her makes my heart swell with love for her. I search her eyes, making sure I don't see any doubt in them. She gazes back at me lovingly, letting me know it's okay.

"Look at me," I tell her firmly. She does as I ask.

"I love you." My hips roll into her and I will myself to hold eye contact with her. I never look a girl in the eyes however Emily isn't just some girl. I need to let her know she's different to me. I owe her that much at least. Her face tightens up in pain and I swallow the lump in my throat, making a silent promise to myself to never hurt her again purposefully.

"I'm okay," she breathes out, large eyes staring up at me. In that moment, I realise I'll never love someone as much as I love her. The girl truly captured my heart and took it with her. I lean down, taking one of her hands and placing the softest of kisses on her knuckles.

"I love you Muffin."

"I love you Jake, so much."