Chapter 44: Chapter 44

Forty Four - Ex’s.

"Her name was Violet, I met her in the last year of school." Jake begins, his mouth fixed in a thin line.

"She was more than a fling, I really liked her, you know? I'd only ever sleep with girls before her," he coughs awkwardly, glancing at me to watch my reaction. I give him a small smile and motion for him to continue.

"She'd just moved from down south. This one guy was pestering her all the time, he wouldn't leave her alone. So I stepped in, scared him away and ever since then, we just clicked. We were together for a couple of months, I took her home one day to show her off to Mum. She was the only girl before you who'd met Mum and Aunty Myra. . . Mum didn't like her at all."

"Why not?" I ask him.

"Mum just didn't like her from the very first day of meeting her. I think she knew what she was really like, even before I did. Violet got along with Ivory too. . . and Tobias." He says bitterly, jaw clenching with frustration.

"She was closer to Tobias than Ivory. I shrugged it off thinking they were just friends. I'd often find them alone in his room playing on his Xbox together and they'd giggle all the time, like they had an inside joke or something. It happened at a New Years Eve party, I invited her round but she barely spent five minutes with me. She was hanging around Tobias like a bad smell the whole night, giggling away at him like a little schoolgirl. It was starting to annoy me and Tobias knew it was, he knew me better than anyone. So a couple of hours passes and there's no sign of Tobias or Violet anywhere. I wanted to give her a kiss as the countdown began so I begin searching for her. I check every single room besides his, why would she be in his room, you know? I had this bad feeling all night and I decided to go confront Tobias over it, he had pissed me off so I went to search for him. The first place I checked for him was his room, I open the door and I could hear the countdown downstairs. . . Three, two, one" Jake adds, his voice full of hatred the closer he gets to the end of his story.

"Everyone starts cheering and I just stand there, staring at them. He's lying on his bed, jeans round his ankles. She's sat on top of him, riding him like a horse. I'd never been as angry as I was in that moment, I saw red Muffin." Jake explains, his eyes burning with a freshly lit flame.

"She didn't even realise I was watching her until Tobias' head turns and he sees me standing there. He pushed her off him and that's when she finally noticed me in the room. I'll never forget the image of her ontop of him my whole life. I cant even look at Tobias since that day, he makes me sick." Jake adds, a look of hurt flashing through his eyes. I grab his hand in mine and bought it up to my lips, placing a gentle kiss on his knuckles.

"She begged and pleaded with me days after to take her back and said it was a mistake. I couldn't look her in the eyes either . . . every time I did, all I could see was her on top of my cousin. She eventually moved back home and I haven't seen her since." Jake finally finishes, looking up at me.

I nod slowly because finally . . . Everything made sense. The anger towards Tobias, the random outbursts, the walls that Jake built up around me. It all made sense. He'd been hurt and betrayed in the past leading up to his insecurity. I take hold of his hand, breathing in a sharp breath.

"I'm sorry that happened to you. You didn't deserve that Jake, nobody deserves that. I understand now and I want to remind you that nothing will ever happen between Tobias and I. It was completely harmless and innocent, he was just showing me his scar." I explain quietly, my thumb gently stroking over the skin of his knuckles. When he doesn't respond, I take it as my cue to continue and confess my feelings —

"I love you Jake, like really love you. I'm excited to wake up and see you and I want you to be the last person I see at night. When you're not around me, it's like my right arm or leg is missing. There's a constant feeling of yearning and I know it's because you're not next to me. I didn't realise I'd fall so fast and hard but the truth is, I did. I don't see us as a fling. . . I see a future with you. Nobody makes me feel more loved than you do. I love you Jake Melvin, that's never going to change." I tell him firmly, my breathing shaking at the end. I suddenly feel vulnerable, exposed of all of my true feelings for him.

I shouldn't have had any reason to worry because just like a true gentlemen, Jake reacts perfectly. He reaches up and lightly lifts my chin up until I meet with his beautiful blue eyes. Eyes that are filled with nothing but pure adoration and love. I've never seen him look so . . . soft and content.

"And I love you, Emily. I don't think you'll ever understand how special you are to me but I'll be damned if I don't try and show you for the rest of our lives. You're the one, I know it. My heart tells me that this feels right."

The widest of smiles spreads across my cheeks and I feel my eyes fill with emotion. I throw my arms around him, breathing in his warm scent. He immediately mirrors my actions, pulling me in closer until I'm half sitting on his lap. I lean in and rest my head on his chest, hearing the faint thud of his heartbeat beneath his clothing.

"How did I ever get so lucky?" I murmur, my eyes growing heavy from the day's events. Jake chuckles quietly, stroking his hand over my hair.

"I ask myself the same question every day."

"Do you want to know something?" I ask him, pulling back slightly. He smiles down at me, nodding his head.

"Go for it."

"You're my first, for everything. I'm glad I shared it with someone who I truly care about." I murmur. Jake's eyebrows raise slightly in surprise —

"Really?" He asks me. I nod, not feeling embarrassed or nervous to tell him. It's easy to open up to Jake without feeling like I'll be judged or ridiculed.

"I try and not be possessive or jealous but I'm one lucky man to know I'll only ever be the one to kiss these lips." He smirks, leaning down to kiss me firmly. I giggle against his lips before responding —

"I don't think I'm ready to sleep with anyone for the next eight years at least. I'm okay staying a virgin for the rest of my life actually." I tell him, keeping my voice as normal as possible. I bite back a laugh as I watch horror flash across Jake's face before he quickly masks it over.

"Y-yeah, if that's what you want."

I burst out laughing, my cheeks aching from suppressing my smile. Jake appears confused at first before his eyes widen as realisation hit him.

"Hey, that's not funny! I was seriously worried."

"Your face was priceless." I laugh. He shakes his head at me and we both lie there for the next hour, making fun of each other and enjoying one another's company. I realise no matter where we are or what we're going through, Jake and I will always be okay as long as we have each other.

It dawns on me that I view him as my safe haven, a best friend as well as a boyfriend. The boy everyone warned me about and had the worst reputation ended up being the one who saved me. . .

I'll never forget that.