Chapter 68: Chapter 68

"Please stop crying," I whisper, gently rocking her. She continues to cry, her piercing sounds bouncing off the walls. I feel tears fill my eyes as I look around helplessly, feeling like the worst mum alive. The door opens and Jake walks in, his eyes wide and alert due to Ruby's screams.

"What happened? Is she okay?" Jake worries, placing the bag of food down onto the chair and walking over to us. I shake my head, the tears threatening to spill any moment.

"I have no idea why she won't stop crying," I whisper, my voice wobbling with emotion. Jake takes one look at my face before reaching out, taking her from me. Ruby continues to scream, her little face turning multiple shades of red as she exhausts her lungs out.

"Woah, little one. You've got a set of lungs on you," Jake said, his eyebrows shooting up as he gently rocks her back and forth. I reach up and wipe the tears from my eyes, my hands shaking in my lap.

"Muffin, look at me." Jake says firmly. I can't help but do as he asks. "You're doing brilliantly."

I shake my head, disagreeing with him.

"I'm her mum Jake and I can't get her to stop crying, why?" I sniffle, my emotions scattered all over the place. If you think period hormones are difficult, wait until you give birth.

"She's a baby Emily. She's going to cry for no reason at all, you can't beat yourself up over it. Trust me Muffin, you're doing amazing."

I want to believe his words but I simply can't. I won't allow myself too. Jake lets out a sigh and hands me Ruby back, giving me an encouraging smile.

"Talk to her," he says gently and I chew on my lower lip nervously.

"Ruby, baby. Please stop crying," I whisper in her ear, her soft baby scent calming me down despite her stubborn urge to carry on screaming. I inhale deeply, reminding myself to breathe. I've got this.

"Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mummy's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Mummy's going to buy you a diamond ring." I sing, holding her close to my heart. Her cries grow fainter and I breathe out a sigh of relief before carrying on —

"So hush little baby, don't you cry. Daddy loves you and so do I." I finish off, smiling up at Jake with glossy eyes. He's standing beside me, his arm wrapped around my shoulder as he watches us. Ruby's cries quieten down and she begins murmuring sweet words to herself. I watch as her little eyelids flutter closed, her face still pink and blotchy.

"You skipped most of the song," Jake chuckles, leaning down to place a kiss on the top of my head.

"I forgot the words," I mumble sheepishly. It's been years since I've heard the popular lullaby. Dad would sing it on a loop, his soft voice sending me into the deepest of sleeps. My heart aches knowing he's not here to witness his granddaughter. She's so beautiful and I know he'd be so proud.

"Why do I feel like Ruby is going to grow up to be just like you? She already shares your features." Jake chuckles fondly, taking her from me and placing her inside her crib. She fidgets before getting comfortable, drifting away into a deep sleep.

"Probably because she will," I chuckle, running a hand over my tired face. I'm not going to lie, motherhood is exhausting.

"I wish my dad was here to see her," I murmur, sadness and grief overwhelming me. Jake takes a seat on the hospital bed, motioning for me to lie between his legs. I lower myself and lay my head on his chest, feeling the beating of his heart. His strong arms are around me in an instant, his hands reaching for mine. I watch as he turns my palms face up, tracing circles on the skin.

"Mine," he whispers in my ear, causing me to smile.

"You're right, I'm all yours." I respond, closing my eyes in comfort.

"I never knew your Dad but I have a strong feeling that he's proud of you. So proud of you. . . My muffin. Despite everything the world throws at you, you're a true fighter. If he was here, he'd be as proud as I am." Jake murmurs down my ear, his hand playing with the strands of my hair. I inhale deeply, my body sinking further into his.

"Thank you Jake. I miss him, everyday." I reveal, my words a struggle to admit. Every time I speak of my father, my heart fills with an empty void.

"I know you do baby, I know you do."

*****

"Are you ready?" Jake asks me before glancing down and repeating the same to Ruby. He's stood in the upstairs corridor, in front of Ruby's nursery door. My heart is fluttering with nerves and I'm crossing my fingers on both hands for luck. Jake is holding Ruby's car seat and she's being good as gold, happily tucked away in her pink blanket. The rest of the family decide to stay downstairs to give Jake, Ruby and I a moment.

"I'm ready. No, wait! I don't think I am." I respond, nerves taking over.

Jake gives me a wide grin, his smile making me weak at the knees. I motion for him to go inside and he takes a deep breath before turning the key in the lock. The door clicks open and Jake pushes it back, stepping inside. I hold my breath as I follow him in, the scent of newly built wood filling the air. My eyes widen as I scan the room —

"Wow," I breathe out.

Three of the walls are painted a crisp white and the final wall with the window is a baby pink shade. A white swinging crib complete with baby pink bedding sits at the far end of the room, a giraffe teddy bear placed in one of the corners.

Next to that, there's a baby changing station. It's filled with everything I could possibly need, the white wood beautifully engraved with a floral pattern.

The oak floorboards are covered with a white fur rug, taking up most of the floor space. A bookshelf across the room is filled with nursery books, the colours matching the ones of the paintings hung on the wall. A simple white rocking chair is sat next to the bookshelf, a baby pink cushion rested on top of it for comfort. The room is finished off with a tiny wardrobe, smaller than me. It's white and engraved with the same floral patten. A set of beautiful cotton pink curtains cover the window, finished off with a sheer white drape.

"Wow," I repeat, watching as Jake places Ruby down in the centre of the room in her car seat. He turns towards me, a proud grin on his face.

"Do you like it?" He asks sheepishly, gesturing at the room. I barely have a chance to respond before he takes hold of my hand excitedly, dragging me towards the wardrobe.

"Look at this! All of Ruby's clothes are hanging up and ready to use. I bought her lots of dresses." Jake admits, a slight tint of a blush staining his cheeks.

I want to reply but I'm speechless, my heart bursting with love as I admire each and every little dress. He's purchased an array of different styles and colours, mainly pink and white. There's frills, ribbons and matching shoes all laid out neatly beneath each dress. My eyes fill with tears and I reach up, wiping them away.

"You don't like it." Jake murmurs, shutting the wardrobe door. His eyes fill with sadness and I quickly shake my head, correcting him.

"No Jake, I love it! It's better than I could have ever imagined!" I sniffle, reaching up to wrap my arms around his neck. I kiss his cheek, his other cheek, his forehead, his nose and finally, his lips. He deepens the kiss, his hands gently massaging my hips. I pull back and he grins proudly, showing off his heart stopping smile.

"Do you really like it?" He asks me again and I nod, turning around to inspect the room for the second time.

"It's absolutely perfect Jake. Just perfect."

He wraps his arms around my waist from behind, resting his head on my shoulders.

"Just one question, how did you know Ruby would be a girl? It was a massive risk for you to take Jake."

I'm surprised and shocked at how he adamant he was about our baby turning out to be a girl.

"I had a really strong feeling." Jake explains, looking at me with a distant smile. It's not really an explanation but I don't push him. After all, he got it right. . . Like he always does. "I love it," I breathe out, unable to tear my eyes off the decor.

"I only want the best for my two girls. Anything you want, name it and it's yours." He murmurs down my ear, kissing the tender spot underneath it.

"Has anyone ever told you that you're amazing? Perfect? Magnificent?" I smile, turning around to face him. His grin is spread from ear to ear, blue eyes shining brightly. He shrugs at my question, a smirk playing on his lips.

"A few people but I already knew that."

I chuckle at his words before pushing his head towards mine, sealing my love for him with a tender and loving kiss.