Chapter 52: Chapter 52
I turn slowly, freezing in place as my body hits something warm and firm behind me. For a split second during my sleepy state, I'm confused as hell before realising who's sleeping soundly beside me. My eyes land on Jake and my lips immediately tug upwards into a content smile as I remember he's home . . . for good.
Jake is in a deep sleep, the muscles in his face and body relaxed and peaceful. I reach forward and brush the dark strands of hair away from his eyes. He doesn't move an inch and I can't help but study his beauty as he sleeps. He looks so innocent, chest rising and falling steadily. I decide to leave him sleeping and step out of bed quietly, careful not to make any noise.
I walk over to Jake's wardrobe and immediately reach for his grey jogging bottoms, stepping into them. They hang loosely on my hips, lying just below my stomach. I look down and my eyes widen slightly as I realise just how much my baby bump has grown.
It's now the size of a small melon, perfect and round. I can no longer fit into some of my clothes but I'm happy enough to lounge around in baggy jumpers and shirts. It also gives me another reason to justify stealing Jake's clothes.
I scrape my hair back and secure it into a high ponytail before rubbing sleepily at my eyes. Trish and Ben have taken up two of the guest rooms and considering how silent the house is, I guess everyone is still sleeping.
I take one last glance at Jake before stepping out of his room, shutting the door softly behind me. The atmosphere in the house has switched and I pause for a moment, taking a minute to soak it in. It doesn't feel lonely anymore.
"Morning."
I turn at the sound of his voice, meeting eyes with Tobias. He's fully dressed, leaning against the wall with his black hood pulled up over his head. I can barely make out his eyes but I give him a small smile in return.
"Morning, sleep well?" I murmur, walking towards the stairs. I wait for a reply from Tobias but he remains quiet, turning his head briefly to watch me. From under his hood, I see his dark eyes fix on me intently. They appear red and blood shot.
"I didn't sleep at all," Tobias breathes out, his voice a low murmur. There's a rough-ness to his voice and from the redness in his eyes, I know he's been crying.
"Come on, I'll make you a tea." I tell him softly. He nods, following behind me as we make our way downstairs. Once we're in the kitchen, Tobias laughs quietly, taking me by surprise.
"You waddle when you walk," Tobias comments, his lips turning up into a humorous smirk. I gasp and spin around, narrowing my eyes at him —
"No, I don't! And besides if I do, I'm pregnant. You can't be mean to a pregnant woman." I hit back. He chuckles under his breath, pulling out a dining chair before sitting himself down onto it.
"How's my niece or nephew doing by the way?" He asks softly, dropping his hood from his head. I smile and switch the kettle on, pulling out two mugs from the cabinet.
"He or she is doing fine but I'm exhausted." I reply, dropping a tea bag in either mug.
"You do have another life growing inside of you."
"When you put it that way, it sounds kind of gross." I chuckle, turning around to face Tobias whilst the kettle does it's thing. Tobias didn't respond and gives me a small smile in return, his eyes dropping to the table. I know something is bugging him, he's quiet and withdrawn.
"What's wrong T?" I ask softly, a frown appearing on my face. I'm not prepared for Tobias to look back up at me, a glossy sheen covering his eyes. They appear large and vulnerable, full of emotion. For a second, I'm completely taken aback. His usual confident and moody personality completely crumbles to the ground and he looks broken.
His brown eyes darken considerably, turning almost black. A tear escapes from the corner of his eye and he drops his head, reaching up to hastily brush it away. My heart aches for him, knowing he's full of pain at the moment. I silently walk over to him, wrapping my arms around his shoulders and guiding him towards me. He sniffles before leaning on me for support.
"Talk to me," I whisper, feeling his body shaking underneath my hold. His scent that at one point I disliked completely now makes me feel at home.
"I can't believe Jane would do that to me," Tobias finally whispers, his voice breaking apart in pain.
His shoulders begin shaking with silent sobs and I wrap my arms tighter around him, stroking his hair soothingly. I know the careless front he had yesterday would soon crumble to the ground and reveal the true Tobias.
"I did love her Emily," he whispers, voice heavy with emotion. I don't reply and let him cry it out, knowing he needs to express his emotions. I feel a stab of pain knowing he's hurting right now because of Jane and the trauma she'd brought to this family.
"You're going to be okay Tobias," I whisper, resting my chin on top of his head. He nods and wraps an arm around my waist, his grip strong. I feel him inhale deeply underneath me, his other hand reaching up to wipe away the tears on his face.
"Thanks Em," he mutters quietly, his arm dropping from around my body. I give him a weak smile before walking over to the kettle and pouring the steaming water into each mug.
"Are you having trouble sleeping?" I ask him, finishing stirring off the tea before placing a mug in front of Tobias. He briefly shakes his head in denial and I sigh in defeat. His bad boy front shoots back up immediately, defending his emotions like a metaphorical brick wall.
I decide to quit probing, knowing he'll come and talk to me when he's ready. I take a seat opposite him, placing my mug down on to the table.
"These past few days have been rough." I state quietly, closing my eyes and leaning back against the chair. My entire body ached and it feels like I could sleep for an eternity.
"You look exhausted Emily, maybe you should go back to bed." Tobias responds before taking a quick sip of his tea. He immediately places it back down onto the table, hot steam coming off the liquid.
"I thought I'd give you some company." I respond, opening my eyes and smiling back at him. I lift my knees and tuck them under my body, sitting cross legged on the chair. It's a struggle more than usual due to my bump however after a few seconds of fidgeting, I get comfortable.
"I feel like I'm starting to turn into a whale." I mutter unhappily, wrapping both hands around my mug and pulling it closer towards me.
"What about Jackson?"
I lift my head up in surprise, meeting eyes with Tobias who's staring intently at my stomach, a small smile on his lips.
"Jackson?" I ask, the right corner of my lips turning up into a grin. He tears his eyes away from my stomach and looks up at me, nodding —
"Yeah, if it's a boy. I like the name Jackson."
"Jake is adamant that we're having a girl." I chuckle, a comforting silence settled between us. I think about the name and eventually nod my head in agreement.
"I like Jackson." I tell him, a smile stretching across my face.
"And if it's a girl?" I ask him, stroking the top of my bump back and forth. The motion is calming and I like to think my baby can feel the affection too.
"I have absolutely no idea. We'll leave that to Jake." Tobias chuckles. I smile softly and glance down, studying my bump.
"It feels good to finally talk about my baby." I whisper, looking up gratefully at Tobias who's watching me intently. His brown eyes fill with curiosity — "What do you mean?"
"Ever since we found out I was pregnant, I don't feel prepared. Jake and I haven't planned anything or talked through our plans. We don't have everything we need for a baby. Things have been so crazy with his life that the baby has been pushed aside. I feel unprepared. . . I'm basically a teenager with no clue what to do." I explain quietly, tears brimming my eyes.
I drop my head and sniffle, a single tear dropping from my eye and falling onto my shirt. Moments of silence pass between us before Tobias silently stands up, scraping his chair back. He walks over to me and mirrors my precious actions by wrapping his arms around my small frame.
"You're going to be the most amazing mother Emily. Not because you have experience but because you're kind, caring and fiercely loyal. This baby is the luckiest baby alive to have a mum like you. You'll learn as you go, mark my words." Tobias re-assures me softly.
I sniffle once again, reaching up to wipe my eyes with the fabric of my shirt. Beside me, Tobias' hold on me tightens and he rests his chin on top of my head, letting out a small sigh. I reach my hand up, holding onto his arm.
"Do you really think so?" I whisper, feeling absolutely petrified for the future. I don't feel prepared for parenthood, feeling like I'm being thrown into a dark hole with no plan of action.
"I'd bet my life on it." Tobias murmurs in response, keeping his arms wrapped securely around me. Despite doing little to re-assure me, I hold onto him, grateful for his comfort.