Chapter 36: Chapter 36
"Tomorrow, you'll be three months into your pregnancy Emily," the nurse smiles, motioning for me to sit up onto the bed. I stare back emotionlessly at her, feeling the empty pit in my stomach expand. My eyes are red raw from lack of sleep and crying.
Ever since Tobias and Jake were arrested, I've found myself walking around like a zombie, lifeless. It's been seven long days. The ache and loneliness I feel in my heart is overwhelming and it's struggle to get out of bed each day.
Jake and Tobias are being held as primary suspects for the murder of Dylan, without bail. They both have a trail coming up in a month but until then, neither of them are allowed to leave. All evidence leads back to both of them and apparently classed as a 'danger to society'.
I can't help but feel it's a victory for the police force to finally have Jake & Tobias behind bars despite whether they committed the murder or not. For so long, both men managed to dodge the law despite the amount of crimes they'd committed.
Now the one time they're innocent, they've been framed. . .
Michelle and Myra are working tirelessly to find the best lawyer to represent Jake and Tobias but even with the best of the best, both of them are looking at life. That equals to 15 years behind bars, without parole. Depending on the nature of the murder, the sentence could be extended further.
Ivory has now been labelled a missing person and the police are currently searching for her, not very well. We're all worried sick and have asked everyone we know for information whilst putting posters up all over town.
No-one has seen or heard from her.
Myra is currently going out of her mind with worry. Her son is behind bars for murder and her daughter has been missing for over a week, completely vanishing into thin air. I can't even begin to imagine how she feels.
The entire situation is a complete nightmare. The thought of Jake in prison makes bile rise to the back of my throat and I spend every second of every day missing him. When I close my eyes, I can feel his hands circle around my waist and his breath tickle my ear. I'd open my eyes to find him gone, nothing beside me but loneliness. At night when I'm tossing and turning in bed, I feel him beside me, his scent calming me down. A smile forms on my face and I open my eyes to tell him I love him to find out its all a lie . . . because Jake isn't there.
I lie wide awake at night, consumed with fear for Jake, myself and our baby. Loneliness follows me around everywhere I go, never giving me a break. It accompanies me every waking and sleeping hour of every day. The ache in my heart is tearing away at me, turning me into a shell of who I previously was.
To find someone who you love and adore with every single fibre on your body is rare. I cherish my love for Jake and feel like the luckiest person alive, only to have him ripped away from me so brutally and dishonestly. I miss his smile, I miss his laugh, I miss his warm hands wrapping around my waist, cradling our baby.
I miss having his lips on mine, his security and safety around me. I miss having him pester me, calling me Muffin and causing me to blush from his suggestive hints. I feel life has been sucked out of me, leaving behind an emotionless, cold shell of a human.
"Emily?" The nurse asks, frowning slightly. She gives me a friendly smile and I nod slowly at her, hopping up onto the bed.
Today is my three month scan.
I missed my last one with all the drama going on but Michelle forced me to attend this scan. I can't help but think it isn't supposed to be like this, Jake should be next to me. Holding my hand as we both wait, watching the screen for our baby to appear. I know how excited he was to attend the scan for the very first time.
"I feel like the baby will look like a little bean on the scan," he chuckled as we spoke about it, his eyes shining brightly. A glossy sheen of unshed tears fills my eyes as the nurse lifts my top, squeezing the gel onto my stomach. The cold feel of it against my skin snaps me back to reality and I look around the room, wide eyed.
"It shouldn't be like this," I whisper, my voice full of emotion. I glance down at my hand that's bare and empty, the hand Jake should be holding onto tightly.
"Emily, are you okay?" The nurse asks me, her eyes filling with concern. I blink back the tears and feel a stab of pain in my heart as I nod slowly. She clears her throat and takes hold of the probe, guiding it over my stomach gently. The bump is my stomach had decided to finally show the past few days. It resembles a large orange nestled inside my stomach, perfectly round.
The probe glides across my skin easily and I suck in a breath, staring aimlessly at the wall opposite me. A part of me wants this entire thing to be over with, it's too painful to handle without Jake by my side.
"Ah, here we go." The nurse smiles beside me and I can see her from the corner of my eye, checking the screen to make sure everything is okay.
"Is my baby okay?" I whisper quietly, my voice a hushed tone. A few moments pass before the nurse answers, sounding happy —
"Yes, everything looks completely fine. Baby looks healthy and growing well. It's not as clear because your bladder isn't as full as it should be but if you look on the screen here, you can see the shape of your body."
I nod grimly, shutting my eyes and inhaling deeply. I don't know whether I want to see the baby or not.
"Emily?" The nurse murmurs, breaking the silence in the room. I inhale sharply, turning to give her a tight smile —
"Can I just get a picture please?"
She nods at me, taking the probe away and handing me a square of blue tissue. I hastily wipe away the gel off my stomach and jump off the bed, re-adjusting my clothes. Guilt settles inside me as I think about my baby . . . I can't even bring myself to look at him/her.
"We need to do some blood tests to make sure you're healthy because of the complications you've had previously," the nurse explains and I nod, her words echoing inside my mind.
My hand brushes away the tear sliding down my cheek as I walk away, back towards the waiting room. I pass a young couple, the woman heavily pregnant with her hand placed over her stomach protectively. She smiles at me as I walk past and I mirror her actions, noticing how happy and full of life her eyes are. . .
The complete opposite to mine.