Chapter 47: Chapter 47

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Tears shed for another person isn't a sign of weakness. Its a sign of pure heart

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//Break up\\

Noel's POV.

"Go to sleep Aaron."

"One more minute."

"You said that," I removed the phone from my ear and checked the time, gasping in surprise, "An hour ago!"

"Shut up, its not 3am." I didn't say anything, I heard some shuffling from the other side and I also heard him gasp, "Wow, it is."

I chuckled, "I don't know about you Aaron but I'm going to be extra bitchy tomorrow if I get no sleep."

"Bitchy huh?" He said in his flirty voice.

"Uh uh you won't like bitchy Noel. You should be glad you've never met her," I say.

He scoffed, "I like all kinds of Noel. And I've so met the bitchy you. Remember one time in Chem Class? I pulling all my Razzle-dazzle Aaron charms on you and you were like, 'leave me alone. I'm not talking to you. Move the hell out of my way'". He said, the last part being an intimidation of an annoying high pitch voice.

I sat up on my bed my jaw hanging open. "I wasn't being bitchy, I had bad things about you and I didn't want to talk to you. Plus I don't sound like a chipmunk on drugs!"

"Um, have you heard your voice?" He asked and I could hear the smile in his voice.

"Aaron!" I said in disbelief. "That is so not something you say to your girlfriend at three am in the morning."

He was laughing so hard on the other end, I feared that his parents would wake up. "I'm so breaking up with you." I said his laugh really contagious and making me smile widely.

"Wait wait, do you know something about Chipmunks high on drugs?" He asked still wheezing a little.

"What?" I ask trying to snap but the smile wouldn't just let me.

"They manage to capture the heart of the most handsome almost eighteen year old boy in the world."

I smiled so wide it hurt. "And who is that? I need to find him and kiss him so hard."

"You're dating him dummy. I can't belie you don't know your own boyfriend." He said probably shaking his head.

"I love you Aaron." I say before my head could think me out of it. My heart has been aching to say that but I don't want to say it too much before it loses its meaning but at times like this, times where Aaron makes me feel so happy and content, at times like this I just can't help it and I freaking want the whole world to know.

"I love you too Noel, bitchy or not I'll always love you and your Chipmunk voice and your..."

"Ugh Fuck off Christmas."

I rolled my eyes. Jesse always managed to ruin perfect moments for me and Aaron. He's crashing at Aaron's house tonight, they're having a sleep over. Or whatever it is boy have when they sleep in each others houses after drinking and talking about whatever the hell boys talk about.

"Go away." Aaron says probably pushing Jesse off him. "Sorry about that love." He says returning to me. "Jesse's being an annoying Oaf."

I hear Jesse strangled cry and groan. "I just want a peaceful sleep with all the meh-meh love talk."

"Maybe we should leave Jesse to sleep."

"Aw who cares about Jesse."

Jesse gasped, "You care, you so care. Remember that time, freshman year when my dad was being a major dick and you said you lo..."

I heard a ringing sound and I figured Aaron just dropped his phone. After that I heard shuffling sounds and Jesse's muffled voice. "Shut up man I'll kill you." Aaron's said like a whisper from the other side and I burst out laughing.

"Aaron leave him. Jesse tell me everything." I shouted into the phone.

"Sorry love I have to go." Aaron said into the phone.

"He even baked me a cake!" Jesse yelled before I heard a loud thump sound. I heard to shut my mouth, else my laughter would have awoken the whole neighborhood.

"That was one time." Aaron explained, "Goodnight love."

"Goodnight Aaron." I said back.

"Oh and I expect that hard kiss tomorrow." I was blushing so hard I didn't come up with a reply before line died.

Oh I'm so in love with Aaron. And a part of me loves Jesse. Ignoring all his annoying traits that is.

.

.

"Oh I've been waiting for this my whole life." Peyton squealed looking at the paper on her hands with loving eyes.

I looked up at Nadine and she just shrugged before I turned back to Peyton. "Its just a paper Pey. I don't get it."

Peyton gasped raising the paper up and looking annoyed. "Its not just a Paper, its our College application paper."

"We could just do it online." Liv pointed out, tossing her paper into her bag. I don't think that paper would survive it, everything is in Liv's bag, everything. Ranging from food to weapons.

"I'm doing both." Peyton announced, then she turned to me. "You've got to be excited Noel. You get to choose what college you go to. Its wonderful."

"Not for me." I mutter.

"Why not?" Nadine ask.

I spotted Aaron at his locker, relaxing on it with his leather Jacket on, looking like the poster boy of hottest. My heart ached badly as I saw him smiling with Jesse. Although I also had a smile on my face, my heart still ached because...because I know he wouldn't be choosing the same college as I. And that just means one thing, Separation. I mean we could do the long distance stuff together but it just won't be the same. I won't see that smile everyday and won't feel him warmth around me anytime I choose. And some boys don't do long distance, does Aaron?

"I just have a feeling Nadine. A bad one."

Aaron and Jesse, detected my foul mood but I managed to have them drop it and stop probing. The rest of the day went smoothly and so did the other days. Aaron wanted us to fill the college forms together but I kept stalling. Well there's one thing about stalling, you can't stall forever. At least not when Aaron Lee is involved.

"Do you think adding 'Most good looking guy ever' will earn me more points?" Aaron asked turning to look at me.

We both sitting on my bed filling out forms. Well he was, I was trying to. I smiled but it didn't really reach my eyes, "I don't think showing your narcissist nature will earn you anything. You have a lot of things to write down, write down important things "

"Being good looking is important." He pointed out, I scoffed. "What about you?"

My heart picked up, not in a romantic way. "What about me?"

"What are you writing down?" He asked his eyes trained on me.

I looked away, "um you know, stuff."

In a flash Aaron was standing right beside me with my paper on his hand and his eyes frowning at it. "Wow, that was fast." I said licking my lips that were now suddenly dry.

"I knew it." He said, he's voice surprisingly calm. In this situation, calm is scary.

"Knew what?"

"You aren't into this. I mean I always knew but I was waiting for you to come to me, tell me what the matter is." I gulped, he reached for my hand. "What is it?"

"You aren't going to like it Aaron." I told him.

"What? You're still not coming to Harvard with me?" He said and I shook my head. "But you love me. Since you do, you should come with me."

"I do Aaron but I can't. I don't have a scholarship or the money." I say releasing my hand from his, getting off the bed and pacing around.

"Let me sponsor you Noel, please." He said getting up.

"I...can't. I can't allow that."

Aaron exhaled, "Why not? Why. The. Fuck. Not."

"I don't want that okay? I just don't want that. I want to do this on my own, not your family's money."

"So... You're pride before me?" He asked his features morphing into this painful look that felt like a stab in my heart.

"No, no Aaron. You come first ofcourse, its not pride. It's just...ugh! I really want to this without your help." I say, releasing his hand that I was surprisingly now holding. "Plus..."

He ran his hand through his hair tugging at the roots, it must hurt to do that. "There's more? Go ahead, spill."

"I don't think I'm going to College now." I said the words slowly like they were bombs going off.

Aaron looked at me, his eyes so hard, I could pass out from the stare. But I didn't look away, I stared back, telling him I'm damn serious about it. "For real?"

I nodded.

He laughed, "Next you're gonna say you don't want to be with me anymore right?"

Somehow that statement made me mad. So bad, I had to ball my fist together. "Aaron not everything is about you ok? Not everything is about us? If you haven't noticed, I've got a lot of shit in my life that I need to sought and comes to terms with. I need this and...and if you don't get it maybe we aren't meant to be together after all."

The words rushed out before I could even process it. I looked up at Aaron shocked and he also had the same expression. "You don't mean that."

I frowned, "I do. If you don't get me, if you don't understand, then there's no need us being together anymore."

After a long painful minute. I was thinking of shouting 'Joking Joking. I'm just joking.' But something was saying its for the best, at least I wouldn't be holding him down anymore. He wouldn't think of leaving his dream just because of me. But a greater part of me was saying I won't survive it.

"Fine." Aaron said before walking past me to the door.

"Aaron..." I'm sorry I didn't mean that. Please don't go I'm joking. I won't survive without you. Wait let's talk thing over first. "You forgot your car keys."

He walked back took the keys from the table and walked out silently closing the door behind him. I ran to the window to watch him. To shout for him to come back. I didn't see him even though I already heard the front door shut close. After minutes of searching his figure finally left our porch, wiping at his face. He was probably relaxing on our door before. I watched him until he got into his car and drove off.

"Noel its ok. Its for the best. You were going to hold him back. Its for his own good...he'll........ Aaron is gone. Oh shit Aaron's gone."

I tried to hold in the tears but I just couldn't. They flowed freely. It hurt so badly, I thought I wouldn't make it to the following morning. But I did, I made it to the next day, crying all through the night.

I didn't go to school, I locked myself in my room all day. Aaron didn't call or visit, I also didn't call or visit him. Mom and Jesse tried to find out what's wrong with me but I remained mute. Apparently Aaron too wasn't speaking to anyone.

The next morning I dragged myself off of my bed and practically crawled to school. Immediately I entered school I didn't even have to search for Aaron. He was the first person I saw as soon as I stepped into hallway. I couldn't see his face because his lockers door was obstructing me but my heart was already beating wildly threatening to jump out.

He banged his locker shut loudly making me jump from all the way across the hallway. He froze as if he noticed my presence. I expected him to turn so I could run into his arms and take back everything I said but...but he didn't, he turned the other way and walked away.

The beating in my heart reduced but tears spring into my eyes as I watched him go. It just settled things, he's gone. Over. Finished. Well its better now that we aren't too deep, later it might hurt harder.

Who I'm I kidding? It already hurts like a bitch now.

Ms Jenkins class is worst. I couldn't pay any attention to her. We didn't exchange any notes and Aaron Lee didn't glance at me at me. After class I watched him leave and throw something into the bin. I sighed dejectedly when I was about leaving the class as I saw that there were only papers in the bin. Papers that Aaron threw in.

My curiosity got the best of me and I had to just check it out. Crouching down, I subtly picked up the papers. I quickly opened one up.

Dolphin

That was all I saw on the paper but it was enough to make my day a whole lot better and put a large smile on my face. I opened up the next with more enthusiasm.

Noel I think I kinda und

Bigger smile came upon my face. Who I'm I kidding still? Ofcourse I'm in this deep. We're in this deep. We can't be over. We're just beginning. I love him and he loves me too. We promised to fight for us and that's exactly what I'm going to do. Ofcourse Aaron understand, I just needed to give him time. Well times up, now its time to get my Dumb face back.

Jesse was nowhere to be found. Of all times for him to disappear it had to be now.

"Nadine I need your car." I rushed out as soon as I saw her.

"Is it concerning why you've been dead ish throughout?" I nodded. "You're gonna feel better later?"

"Hopefully." I answered.

She smiled, "go get him back and please don't wreck my car."

"Thank you." I said hugging her.

Nadine grinned, "I thought you're not a hugger?"

I shrugged and ran towards her car. Getting in, I managed to drive within the speed limit so I don't get into a crash. On my way to Aaron's house, I saw his car coming back. He saw me too and we both parked on the road and got down.

"Where... Where are you going?" I asked walking to him.

"Where are you going?" He asked back, as we stopped in the middle of the road facing each other.

"To you." I told him, looking him straight at him.

He lifted one shoulder up, "Same."

One minute silence as we stared at each other.

"I missed you." I blurted out before clamping my mouth. I didn't want to say that.

Aaron smirked, "Me too."

I smiled, "We shouldn't have broken up."

He cocked his head to a side, "did we?"

I chuckled, "Yea, I think we did."

He shrugged again, "I didn't break up with you."

I nodded and opened up my back and tore out a note. After scribbling on it I showed it to him.

Would you take me back as your girlfriend? Yes or No.

He smiled and collected the paper from me, ticked Yes and gave it back. I quickly hugged him.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have..."

"I understand you Noel, I didn't then but I do now. I understand if you need to sort things out. It'd suck big time to leave without you but I'll do anything for my dolphin. I'll come home every week if I have to. I'll support you even if you want to drop out and quit school and become a chain smoker or mafia leader."

"Hey." I said smacking him as he laughed making me laugh.

"I'll do all that and more because I love you. I'm sad you don't want help from me..."

"Aaron..." I started until he shushed me.

"Sssh I admire you a lot for wanting to do it on your own. Whatever you want, just know, I'll support you. Always." He said cupping my face.

"Thank you." I answered holding back the tears of joy wanting to burst out. Aaron kissed me and the tears were gone. All was back to normal.

"So, I hate college talk." Aaron said entwining our fingers together and walking.

I chuckled, "me too. Wait are we leaving the cars behind?" I ask as we walk away from the two cars.

"Yea, walking is better. I get to hold your pretty hand. I get someone pick the cars." He said, I shrugged going with the flow.

"So what do you think about Dartmouth?"

"Dartmouth?" I asked confused.

"Yea its closer and its Ivy league." Aaron said.

"Hmm, it is." I said then I remember the notes in my pocket. "Hey I found something."

"What?"

I released his hand taking a step forward. "Some notes a certain person left in the waste bin."

He was confused for a second before his eyes widened in understanding. "Oh those weren't for you."

"But they have my names on them." I teased raising a note up.

"Give that back."

"Come get it." Then I laughed running away.

"Noel!"

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