Chapter 38: Chapter 38

Alex Heartman

Alex stormed into his study in both anger, frustration, sadness and depression.

His heart was racing and his body and wolf begged him to return to Mia that instance. But he wouldn't, couldn't.

All this was her fault anyways. His confused emotions for that girl were to blame.

When that old fool had asked for her as compensation, he had lost it. He had never cared about anyone in his life other than that girl.

He told himself it was the mate bond but he had put his wolf into subjection and he could do nothing without his permission. Hence, he was sure it wasn't because of the mate bond because he couldn't feel a thing from it anymore.

What was it then? Was it his own damn feelings?

What was his problem anyways?

He had promised himself since he was twelve to never let anyone see him like that again but here he was sulking over that mistake repeated too many times because of that girl...

Alex wanted to be angry at her but it was hard, especially when she had seen right through his walls and suffered some of his pain. She had taken a large amount of it and made it hers that moment without even knowing.

He wished she hadn't and wished she couldn't see through the many walls he had spent his whole life putting up.

He had felt so small when she looked into his eyes and had felt safer than he had ever been in all his life in her arms. It wasn't a bad feeling, instead it was the best feeling to feel safe for the very first time in over a decade.

It was the best feeling to feel complete in so long and he selfishly wanted to enjoy the feeling and never let go but that was the problem.

He couldn't nestle feelings for her or all of his efforts would be a waste. He couldn't let that happen. He wouldn't.

He had to purge her from his system quickly because he couldn't handle all of it. They were too much for him.

Alex slumped on the floor in the corner of his study, close to the door, where there was no light but darkness. A familiar place for him.

He had learned to handle pain with anger, anger with much more anger, but love... He had absolutely no idea how to handle that. He couldn't even comprehend it. He didn't love her, all he felt for her was as a result of his disarray emotions.

He hadn't had anyone around like her in a very long time.

He knew it was a bad idea, but he couldn't help but listen to her heartbeat. It calmed him and as much as he knew it was a part of the reason he was in this shit, he still couldn't do without it.

Her heartbeat was slow and calculated. They seemed really solemn unlike before. He could tell her emotions from it.

When she was happy, it'd be quite frantic and he could almost feel the energy from it. But when it was sad, it beat just like this.

Alex inhaled sharply, he needed to keep his distance from her not just for himself, but for her too.

She didn't know it yet, but she was slowly being consumed by the darkness within him and he would hate for someone so special, happy, playful and jovial to turn into someone as sad and depressed as he always was.

It's be a shame and it wouldn't happen on his watch.

It was settled. He would have to avoid her from then onward. Not just for his sanity, but for hers as well.

Alex stayed for a few more minutes, regretting his actions and struggling not to treasure his moments with Mia and getting her out of his mind.

When heared Hendrix unmistakable footsteps, approaching his study, he stood to his feet and walked back to his seat. He wouldn't want anyone to catch him in that state especially Hendrix. He was too prospective.

Hendrix didn't bother knocking before entering into his Alpha's study.

He was here to apologize to the Alpha and beg his forgiveness for disappearing from the meeting,. earlier that morning.

When Alex saw him standing there looking like a rat cut in the spotlight, his rage was kindled against him.

"Where were you, Hendrix!" Alex growled, balling his palms into fists.

"Your majesty I-"

"You what?!" Alex had gotten to his feet and was now walking towards Hendrix, taking calculative steps like a predator after his prey.

Hendrix juddered, trembling with his heart in his throat

"I-I-" Hendrix stammered, unable to get words out of his mouth.

"Talk now 'cause it might be your very last words. It wouldn't be nice to die without a last word for Sara." Alex seethed, face turning red as anger brewed in his stomach.

The Alpha wasn't bluffing; he could tell from the malicious clouds that gathered in Alex's orbs.

Hendrix fell on his face, pleading for his life.

"Your majesty, have mercy! It was my wolf's week and I had to shift so I needed to excuse myself from your presence." Hendrix cowered. "But when I was back, all that had happened had already happened." Hendrix knew more than anyone else what the Alpha was capable of doing. He was no man or beast, he was a demon; one more than ready to kill.

Alex remembered he had mentioned something about his wolf's week to him before but he still felt something was off.

Alex released his muscles and pinched the bridge of his nose, stepping away from Hendrix's trembling body. Alex was drained and tired of getting angry so he let it slide.

Mia had shared his pain. She could still be sharing his anger and if she was, it'd be too much for her to handle.

"Get out," Alex commanded. "Get the hell out before I change my damn mind!"

He watched in controlled anger as Hendrix scrambled to his feet and ran out of his study.