Chapter 80: Chapter 80

Ronald shakes his head, not exactly refusing. "How can the heart love two women, Sebastian? That's what you are. And then there's the matter with Clara. You think you can just be free like that? Remember," Ronald leans in slightly. His gaze still piercing as he looks at Sebastian. The man he's speaking to doesn't back down in the least.

"The public knows you're going to get married soon. And you understand the nature of the woman you've chosen, right? Don't let me give you a serious warning about this, Sebastian."

Sebastian braces himself for whatever Ronald is about to say next.

"Don't break Fathia's heart. You've already failed to protect it. We're lucky that God has been very kind to us. Returning Fathia to us at the right time." There's a brief pause before Ronald speaks again. "Moreover, fifteen years isn't a small gap. That distance is real, Sebastian. Can you face the distance that exists? Think, Sebastian. Think."

Until Ronald's figure disappears from his view as he bids goodbye, those words echo perfectly in Sebastian's mind. Two Claras. Two people who've told him he failed. A fleeting thought of the failure that occurred makes him massage his temples in frustration.

Ronald is right. Clara's words earlier today are in agreement.

He failed.

Stupidly, he forced himself.

"Gettin' hitched to me. Fathia will be safe 'cause almost everything's come to light, right? But you can't forget one solid fact that's been messin' with your heart. You... are a failure."

He closes his eyes, tilting his head slightly to gaze at the apartment's ceiling. The glare that hits his eyes is blocked by covering part of his face with his arm. He can't deny that Fathia's presence now makes him happy. He showers her with affection, revealing feelings he'd kept hidden so well. And not to mention... he's declared that he truly doesn't want Fathia to go far away from him.

But every time he sees those scars, anger, disappointment, heartache, they all wrestle, stirring up different turmoil within him. Especially his sense of guilt. Strong and gripping, it clings to him tightly. Yet he'd promised. Agreed. No matter what he did, as long as Fathia was safe with him.

The result?

He failed. He even caused Fathia to experience dreadful days that, up until this moment, Sebastian doesn't dare to ask how she got through. He's afraid that his growing emotions and disappointment will only make things worse.

He'd never imagined that what he had to protect would be so difficult. It's not that Sebastian isn't willing or reluctant. Not at all. Life with Fathia is enjoyable. The exhaustion of work is all worth it when he hears her voice talking about the garden, her school activities, and all the things she does at home.

Everything about Fathia brings unique happiness to Sebastian.

And yet, he realizes... oh God! He just realized he's the one incapable of protecting the girl. Even though Fathia was used to safety in her home. Watched over meticulously by her parents. And him?

"What should I do, Mr. Alvin?" he murmurs softly. He shifts his arm to glance at the clock near his flat-screen TV. "I failed."

"You haven't slept, Sebastian?"

Sebastian startles, nearly falling off his seat from sheer surprise. Meanwhile, Fathia looks at him with amusement. "Sorry, didn't mean to startle you."

The man shakes his head slowly, adjusting his sitting position. "You couldn't sleep?" Sebastian pats the sofa beside him, inviting Fathia to sit down. "Couldn't get some shuteye?" he asks, tidying up Fathia's slightly disheveled hair. Classic bedhead.

"Um... the past few days I've been sleeping with you around. So..."

"So you can't sleep if you're not cuddled up with me?"

Fathia stammers, "Th-that's not it," she says, a pout forming on her face. She gently removes Sebastian's hand from the side of her head.

"Then what?"

Their eyes that were locked onto each other a moment ago, Fathia turns away, a sudden wave of embarrassment cresting over her. Why did her words flow so easily earlier? "Uh, well, Fathia doesn't know." She chooses to get up. "I just thirsty. Yeah, thirsty."

But before Fathia could take more steps away, Sebastian had already pulled her closer, causing her to stumble. Her eyes widened in surprise at Sebastian, who was now chuckling. He seated Fathia on his lap, gently restraining her movements on top of him.

"Why do you have to be so annoying?" she playfully grumbled. Fathia's annoyed hands gestured towards the guy who only found it more amusing.

"So, you can't sleep unless you're hugged by me?" Sebastian repeated. This time, he lifted Fathia's chin slightly, making her continue looking at him. This prevented her from diverting her gaze elsewhere. "Be honest, Fathia."

The girl's lips pursed even more. "Like you don't know."

That clearly made Sebastian chuckle even more. "Alright then, let's go to sleep."

Fathia shook her head decisively. Instead, she chose to trace Sebastian's jawline incredibly softly. As if savoring every bit of what she was doing. This made Sebastian close his eyes again. Allowing Fathia to touch him as she pleased. After all, Fathia's touch was what he always longed for.

"What are you thinking, Sebastian?"

"Hmm?" It was hard to tell whether he heard the question or if it was the fact that Fathia's fingertip was now at the corner of his lips. Clearly, what Fathia was doing had shattered his concentration. Especially since her movement showed no sign of stopping. "Fathia," Sebastian grumbled softly, restrained. He opened his eyes slowly, finding Fathia looking seriously at his face.

"I feel like you're thinking about something."

He stopped the movement of Fathia's fingertip, placing it right above his lips. "You're doing this on purpose, aren't you, Fathia?"

Fathia shook her head. "Why would I do that?"

"Why are you acting all coy like this?"

The girl blinked softly. "I thought, by acting cute, it might ease your thoughts a little."

"Earlier, I had a long talk with Uncle Ronald. We're preparing for the scenario of capturing Alef Walker. All the evidence has been handed over, and Uncle Ronald, acting as your legal counsel, will surely demand a lot for what's happened, Na."

Fathia nodded. "And?"

"And everything will return to calm, right? You'll go back to Group Azure, continue your studies, return to your big house, and justice for your friends will surely be upheld." Sebastian outlined various possibilities that might unfold after all the secrets were exposed.

"What about you?"

Both of them fell silent. Sebastian looked at Fathia with a gaze that was hard to decipher, while Fathia waited, eager to hear what answer the guy would give.

"I'm returning to what I've dreamt of for a long time."

"What's that?"

He really wanted to say, living together with Fathia. Staying in a more simple yet warm and cheerful home with their children in the future. He had imagined how enjoyable life would be with Fathia. A house with a garden full of lilies, enjoying Fathia's smile every morning as she accompanied him for breakfast with a cup of her homemade coffee.

Also... building the restaurant he had long dreamed of. Enjoying days of camaraderie in the kitchen and experimenting with new recipes. He had put off that dream for a long time due to his busy work under Group Azure. Maybe... maybe the time when he would release Group Azure was the right time to start weaving his fantasies.

Instead of answering, Sebastian just smiled slightly. "Let's sleep, alright? Tomorrow is going to be a long day." He suddenly stood up, which startled Fathia. Swiftly, her arms wrapped around Sebastian's neck and her legs wrapped around his waist. Fathia's surprise was met with a brief kiss on her rosy lips.

"I'll sleep in your room?" Fathia asked suddenly. She remembered, Jess stayed here after the awkward dinner, Jess didn't want to go home but pushed Fathia to tell her everything. What happened after not meeting Sebastian for so long. Even though it was a very private matter, right?

However, Jess wasn't Jess if she couldn't get Fathia to spill the beans.

"Why? Do you mind?"

Fathia shook her head quickly.

"Why, Fathia?" Sebastian knew that there was something hidden behind Fathia's gaze.

"Remember when you were with Clara in that room?" Fathia said softly, looking down because she was nervous. Sebastian saw a hint of red on her face. Not because she was embarrassed, no. He just felt annoyed remembering the image where Sebastian was with Clara. Not to mention...

Sebastian's steps stopped right then and there. "Look at me, Fathia," he requested, as Fathia refused to meet his gaze anymore. "Please."

"If that makes you upset and think I'm a jerk, I don't mind. I am a jerk."

"That's not what I meant, Tian." She shook her head quickly. Wrapping her legs around his waist even more tightly. She didn't want to be put down so easily. What she said about Clara was indeed true. That image continued to haunt him. As if... mocking him. "I... I don't want to be seen as someone stealing another person's fiancé."

A wide smile spread across Sebastian's face. "Well, you've already become a thief."

"Sebastian!!!" Fathia looked at Sebastian in disbelief. How could he!!!

"A thief of my heart for a long time." Then, Sebastian replaced that surprise with an incredibly gentle kiss, as if it were the last kiss Sebastian could give. He savored it as much as he could, even though there was never a word "satisfied" when it came to touching Fathia.

He vividly recorded in every empty corner of his heart and mind, the soft sighs, moans, and whispers that flowed perfectly in his room. Coming from the girl he loved. Showering him with numerous touches that made them forget, the night was shifting. Until exhaustion greeted them. Sleeping with their damp skins pressed against each other. The remnants of their love.

"I want you to be happy and safe, Fathia. I failed to protect you. I'm sorry. If I eventually go far away, don't look for me. But truly, you're the ruler of my heart." Sebastian knew Fathia wouldn't hear it, her breaths were already so steady in his embrace. He gently kissed her forehead for a while, letting his apology linger as the conclusion of the night he spent with Fathia this time.

True.

That's what Sebastian would do after everything was revealed. No matter how much he might be hurt by distancing himself later, it was impossible for him to live without Fathia.