Chapter 63: Chapter 63

Fathia couldn't stop cursing in her mind about how stupid she almost slipped up. Why did she fall asleep there of all places? Argh! If only she could scream, she would have done it ages ago. She frustratedly tousled her hair over and over, not caring that her appearance was a mess right now. What she cared about was what if... what if... Sebastian finds out that she's undercover?

"What are you doing here for so long?"

Fathia turns around suddenly. Thankfully, the handle of the mop she was holding doesn't fall due to her surprise. In front of her, two girls named Ineke and Diah are giving her unfriendly looks. Since they first met all the staff under Biyan, these two girls have always looked at Fathia and Jess with cynical glances.

"Could you work a bit faster? You won't get the afternoon shift later, and you're still slow at your work. Newbie is so annoying," Ineke says sarcastically.

Hearing that, it clearly makes Fathia furrow her brows. She wants to say something, but she remembers that Jess introduced herself as someone who can't speak. She quickly takes out the notes she uses as her communication tool.

"Yeah. It'll be done soon. And I don't know what you mean by afternoon shift? I'm on the afternoon shift today."

As Fathia hands the notes to Ineke, the girl dismissively waves away the notes, nearly making contact with Fathia's hand. The notes fall onto the half-dry floor that Fathia had just mopped. Unable to believe Ineke's actions, Fathia just shakes her head slowly.

"Don't play innocent!"

Once again, Fathia furrows her brows. "Play innocent?" She mumbles softly. "What kind of innocence?" Adjusting her glasses that are sliding down due to her slightly oily face and the dampness of sweat, she decides to pick up the notes. Before she can reach it, though, Ineke kicks the notes away.

Fathia's gaze locks onto Ineke, who appears unbothered by Fathia's previous expression. It's like she's challenging her to speak but not. Fathia won't entertain people like this. She didn't expect, however, that Diah would suddenly yank off the mask she's wearing. The elastic bands around her ears snap. Fathia is taken aback.

As the mask's ties break, Fathia's face is revealed to Diah and Ineke. Both of them widen their eyes in shock, immediately covering their gaping mouths. Then Diah nudges Ineke's shoulder, as if it's a signal for them to leave. Without saying anything, they both walk away from Fathia.

All Fathia can do is let out a soft sigh. She looks at the mask that came off earlier, feeling bewildered. She throws it in the garbage bin in the corner, then cleans up the footprints from the two girls. She also retrieves the notes, its cover slightly damp. As her eyes glance at the large mirror near the sink, a sudden blur clouds Fathia's vision. With a blink, tears well up in her eyes. Remembering how both of them looked at her earlier, full of disgust and... weirdness?

Not wanting to be liked, but the way they looked at her has gotten to her now. Even though she's been in Beverly Hills, she's been trying to suppress these feelings. Seeing others gaze at her with confusion and questions, and feeling like Fathia is from another planet. Trying to accept and consider them all just as observers. Really, that effort paid off. Fathia's confidence grew slowly and was reinforced by those around her, including Melly who always encouraged her. And now, Clara has set her back to square one. Once again, she breathes in the air in the room, mixed with the scent of floor cleaner and air freshener to avoid any mustiness. She closes her eyes slightly, and eventually, the tears fall.

One drop, two drops, until she's sitting, hugging her folded knees. Sobbing. To the point where her sobs escape without her realizing it. She's crying there.

"I'm traumatized, Fathia. That's true. I'm scared, and I'm afraid you're experiencing the same thing. Especially with your current physical condition. Don't deny this one important thing. Back then, you could say you were perfect. Just like me. Created by God so perfectly. And now? Because of that incident, don't carry the burden for too long. I held a tray with two bowls of soup, and my hands were trembling. You know me, don't you? Nimble. Skillful. Free to move."

Jess's words from back then echo in her memory. What Fathia is experiencing now is similar to Jess. There's a trauma that has taken root in her heart that she can't deny. The scrutinizing looks, especially the mocking ones, slowly erode her sanity. Fathia cries for a while, taking in what she's experiencing.

Mommy's prayer for Fathia, be a strong woman. Whatever obstacles lie ahead, Mommy hopes you keep moving forward. However the path unfolds, Mommy supports you, dear. Wherever Mommy may be. Don't give up easily and always listen to your heart, dear. Mommy is sure your heart will guide you towards the truth. That's where God whispers His wisdom.

Ah... her mother's words suddenly become vivid in her closed eyelids. She takes another breath. She roughly wipes away the tear streaks on her cheeks. She opens her eyes. She gently taps her own cheek.

"No more weakness. Mommy hopes I'm strong. Yeah. I can't disappoint Mommy. Jess also said not to give up. I have to rise. This time, don't lose again. That's right. Don't lose. I'm here. I can't let it all go to waste, even though my efforts are just starting."

She rises slowly. Still with her eyes closed, she stands in front of the sink that will surely reflect her mirror image. Slowly, she opens her eyes. She sees herself with slightly swollen eyes and a reddened nose, the aftermath of crying. Occasionally, she dabs at her damp nose.

"I'm Fathia Bernessa Claire. Yesterday I hid. I'll surely overcome everything. And I'll retaliate against anyone who did this to my family. I've never been looked at like that before. It's not that I'm ungrateful for being given a second chance at life. But... but," Fathia's voice falters. It's painful and suffocating to continue with everything she wants to say.

She takes another deep breath. "But why does it hurt so much?" Her eyes intently gaze at her own face. Slowly, she uses her fingers to trace the scars. "I can't be weak. It hurts now, but I'm fighting for something. Someday, they'll know who fought for Group Azure."

Fathia nods with determination. "Right. That's all I need to think about. Group Azure. They don't matter. They don't know who I am. I'm Claire. Going through tough times. Yeah. I'm going through a tough time." Her fists tighten.

Her goal is her locker where she placed her bag. Her spare mask is there. Taking a long exhale, she needs to go down to the 32nd floor. Maybe using the emergency staircase is safer than attracting attention again. Before doing that, Fathia quickly finishes her tasks there, which are already neatly done. While splashing her face to freshen up, she keeps boosting her spirits and her strength to accept the treatment she received from those two girls.

If she gives up now, it'll all be for nothing, and it'll feel like all the discussions and her biggest desires to reclaim Group Azure will be in vain. That's all she holds onto now. After ensuring all her cleaning supplies are back in their place, in the corner of the restroom, she hurries out.

Her goal is the emergency staircase. However, her steps halt as Sebastian blocks her way. At first, Fathia looks up with wide eyes, surprised to meet Sebastian right in front of the women's restroom like this. But quickly, she lowers her head again and even further when she realizes she's no longer wearing her mask and her glasses, which she slipped into her pocket.

"Why?"

Fathia stays silent.

"What's wrong?"

Fathia shakes her head, very softly hoping that Sebastian will move aside soon. But that's unlikely. Finally, Fathia decides to walk away, but before she can move, Sebastian stops her again.

"Where are you going?"

Fathia hurriedly grabs her wet notes. She quickly writes on them.

[Sorry, Sir. I need to go to the 32nd floor first. Mr. Biyan called for me earlier.]

Without looking at Sebastian, Fathia hands him the notes. Fortunately, Sebastian doesn't refuse. Fathia waits for a moment before she starts to walk away again. But once again, Sebastian stops her.

"Can you look at me when you talk? I really don't like it when I'm trying to talk and the other person just looks at the floor."

Nervously, Fathia swallows. She closes her eyes briefly, then summons the courage to lift her gaze. This time, she really needs her courage, a thousand percent of it. Without her glasses and her mask, the two things she used to cover up her shortcomings.

Finally, they're face to face, and Sebastian doesn't divert his gaze anywhere except to trace every feature of the face in front of him. His eyes' gaze is still the same as Sebastian always remembers. Warmth and tenderness radiate from them. However, there's a noticeable mark on the left side. Not to mention, there's a long mark like a burn scar on her left cheek. Sebastian's heart trembles heavily. His fingers move slowly, then touch the scar, which she immediately flinches from. Once again, she lowers her head.

"Don't avert your eyes from me, Fathia. Never."

Fathia... immediately looks up. Her eyes lock onto those charcoal black orbs. She's slightly wide-eyed, unable to believe her name being said so perfectly. Trembling and filled with longing. Fathia can feel it. It's as if time deliberately stops for them, where this time, as they lock eyes again, Fathia's eyes become teary.

And for this moment, as Sebastian touches the cheek that's no longer as smooth as before, Fathia closes her eyes. A tear falls. Her heart's rumbling grows stronger. It's not the right time for Sebastian to know who she is now. All her plans would fall apart if Sebastian knows who she is now. She needs the old files from the archives, and it feels like she needs to wait for the right time to share her plans.

Right.

She has to do that. Armed with that thought, Fathia lowers the hand she's always longed to slip into. They clasp each other's hands as they always remembered. However...

"Don't ever try to walk away from me again, Fathia. Never."

He leads Fathia to follow his steps. His hand is holding onto hers. Tight. It startles her. As Sebastian pulls her along, Fathia can't help but stare at how his hand eventually envelops hers again. Her mind becomes chaotic. And her heart, it doesn't know what to feel anymore.

Happy. Content. Sad. Scared. Everything mingles into one. Without realizing it, Fathia finds herself sitting in the seat where she usually sits in Sebastian's luxury sedan. Just for a moment. Right. Just for a moment, the grip of his hand loosens as Sebastian ensures that Fathia is seated comfortably. He buckles her seat belt, half-runs to the driver's seat, starts the engine, and drives away from the office.