Chapter 19: Chapter 19

Sebastian knew he was going too far. Very much so. However, he couldn't shake off the shadow of Felice Leah Claire, his beautiful fiancée, who added a unique color to his life.

Her touch. Her affection. Her whining.

All of it was still perfectly engraved in Sebastian's memory. It had been five years since the news of her death shattered Sebastian's world in an instant.

Under the shower's downpour in his bathroom, Sebastian lowered his head even deeper. He forced himself not to feel sad anymore. He had used these five years to learn how to forget and accept, but it was all just words. Felice was not that easily replaced. Not even Clara Jasson's intervention could compare to Felice's place in his heart.

The cold that continued to hit his half-naked body was ignored by its owner. He felt it was only fair punishment for ignoring Clara earlier. Countless times, his touch on her never led to any release.

Never.

Tired of bowing his head, supporting himself with his hands on the wall, Sebastian turned off the shower. Walking without caring about the water drops from his hair and body wetting the floor, he turned on the water in the bathtub, poured a bit of aromatherapy, and made sure the temperature suited his preference before stepping in. Leaning against the edge of the bathtub, he chose to close his eyes.

Letting the water touch his body again, he absorbed the coldness that enveloped him. Closing his eyes, he recalled memories with Felice that time could not erase from Sebastian's mind.

"Sebastian, do I look good?" Felice turned her body slowly. Her white dress adorned with lace and sprinkled with pearls almost covered the entire front, shining under the boutique's light.

"You look amazing." Sebastian smiled and reached out to tidy up the hair of the woman in front of him.

"You look so handsome in this suit." Unsurprisingly, she complimented him while stealing a quick kiss on Sebastian's jawline. Used to getting spontaneous gestures from his fiancée, it only made him chuckle. Instead, he embraced her to bring her closer, planting a quick kiss on her red-painted lips.

If he wanted to deepen that kiss, Sebastian was confident that he still had time to satisfy the thoughts dominating his mind. Making Felice call out his name without pause. Before she really got ready to go to Beverly Hills. This dinner event, Felice couldn't afford not to attend. It was a chance for her to be with her parents and assert herself as a potential successor in her father's Group Azure group.

"You're such a lip maniac."

"Who can resist being tempted by you, Felice?"

Felice shook her head slightly. Her phone rang, demanding her attention. "Ah, Fathia." She quickly brought the slim object near her ear. "I'll answer it really quick, okay?"

Sebastian nodded in approval. He knew exactly who was diverting Felice's attention: Fathia, her youngest sister. Sebastian rarely saw the girl, probably due to her busy school schedule and her natural reluctance to get to know new people. Sebastian didn't really care about it.

Sebastian knew that at that very moment, the conversation between the two siblings was becoming intense. However, he was adept at reading the situation. He was still within Felice's reach. He planted one or two kisses on Felice's slender and perfectly exposed neck. Who could resist such a sight, even though Sebastian had often seen it up close, over him, without any hesitation.

"Fathia is so adorable, isn't she? I love her so much," Felice said.

"I know." Sebastian gently moved Felice's hair away, causing her to close her eyes silently, feeling the tantalizing touch of Sebastian's jaw on her neck. His fine hairs were a delight for Felice as they grazed every surface of her skin.

"Sebastian, don't do this." But no, not here. She couldn't enjoy Sebastian's touch that could sweep her away without a doubt.

"Why not?" Sebastian spoke with a soft chuckle on his lips. "This is your mother's acquaintance's boutique, right? The owner must understand that we're in love."

"Sachdev!"

If Felice called him by his middle name, it meant that Sebastian had to stop whatever he was doing immediately. If he didn't want to take any risks, Felice would remain silent.

"Let's take a picture, shall we?"

Sebastian furrowed his brow slightly, but his movements to unbutton the blazer he would wear at their wedding party later had already begun.

"For a final keepsake, Sebastian." Felice smiled, so sweetly, as her doll-like eyes blinked playfully. Sebastian couldn't do anything but comply.

Several poses were captured and immediately sent to Sebastian's phone. Felice said they would serve as backups in case they accidentally got deleted from her phone.

After ensuring that the dress had no flaws and adding a few extra details in some areas, they got ready to leave. They enjoyed the sedan as it drove through the streets of New York City at a moderate speed. Sebastian occasionally heard Felice humming along to the music playing on the car's audio system. He sometimes glimpsed her peaceful expression.

The source of his happiness.

"Oh, by the way, can you promise me something?" Felice asked.

Once again, Sebastian's brow furrowed. "What promise?"

"Promise me you won't cheat on me."

Sebastian burst into laughter. How could Felice say something like that when they were about to embark on a serious relationship in just three months? Seriously.

"I'm serious," Felice insisted.

"I'm serious too, Felice. I won't. I promise."

Felice smiled again. "And can you promise me one more thing?" Before Sebastian could protest, Felice hurriedly continued, "Take care of Fathia. Treat her as if she's the most important person in your life too, Sebastian."

Luckily, Sebastian still had some focus left, though not much. Still, he slammed on the brakes suddenly, though it didn't have an effect that could cause them harm. "What do you mean, Felice?" Sebastian asked, full of demands.

Felice simply smiled as she touched Sebastian's arm, ignoring how his face had become stiff. His eyes focused relentlessly on Felice, but she remained unfazed for even a moment. "Can you do it, right?"

"Felice, don't be weird."

"It's not weird. Is my request too difficult?"

For whatever reason Sebastian had, finding Felice's eyes starting to look sad as he seemed unwilling to grant her wish, he eventually gave in. Surrendering completely because one thing was certain: his love for Felice was immense. Fulfilling her request was a must. "Okay. I promise."

Sebastian never prepared himself for the fact that the promise had already been uttered. It was already deeply ingrained in Felice's mind. She smiled in relief; a smile of release. Because several dozen hours later, the accident happened.

It robbed Sebastian of hope.

Leaving two unrelated individuals bound together until now.

"Sebastian, does this dress look good on me?" she asked while twirling slowly. The knee-length dress, which showcased her slender, white, flawless legs, left Sebastian incredulous.

"No, it's not. That looks great, but I don't like you wearing it in public."

The girl pouted playfully. "I'm wearing it to a friend's party. It's in the afternoon. Why can't I wear it?"

Sebastian shook his head firmly. "If I say no, it means no. You have many jeans and t-shirts, right? Wear those instead."

"Ugh... how can I go to a friend's birthday party like that, Sebastian?" Fathia approached him and immediately hooked her arm with Sebastian's, fluttering her eyes in a pleading manner, hoping her wish would be granted today. Her gaze stayed locked on Sebastian, who occasionally diverted his eyes.

"Sebastian," she whined again.

"What is it, Fathia?" Sebastian gave in. Especially because their closeness had been eroded over time. "That looks great, Fathia. But I don't like it."

Her soft pink lips pouted even more.

"Don't do that, Fathia."

"Why not? I'm just asking for that."

What Sebastian did was simply ruffle Fathia's neatly pinned-up hair, adorned with a beautiful pearl hairpin. This made her pout even more uncontrollably. Since Ronald's stern warning, Sebastian had seriously reconsidered what was going on in his mind. This included the sweetness of Fathia's lips.

He really felt like a despicable person! Yet, Fathia's presence had somehow comforted him a bit. But he had to stay strong; Fathia was forbidden. Forbidden to the extreme that just being near her made Sebastian feel like a sinner.

How could just being close to Fathia cause such strange tremors within him? Just remembering how that gentle kiss had unfolded already gave Sebastian a headache.

Sebastian opened his eyes. Realizing that there were clear droplets falling from the corners of his eyes. A part of him longed for Felice, while another part thought of Fathia. And... indeed, as he gazed at Clara's body without a single thread of clothing, Fathia's smiling face haunted him.

He shook his head gently, dispelling thoughts of Fathia that now lingered on his eyelids. Then he remembered Clara. Hurriedly, he grabbed a towel to cover himself. When he opened the bathroom door, the beautiful woman was already fast asleep. He covered her body with the blanket that was there.

Quietly, Sebastian approached to confirm that Clara was truly asleep. Her breathing was regular, but something troubled him. There were evident signs of tears in Clara's eyes. She must have been crying, again.

"Sorry, Clara. I really can't do it."

Sebastian quickly grabbed his clothes and stepped out of the room. He enjoyed the chilly night air near the balcony, just like the nights before, where he couldn't immediately close his eyes.

But before he could fully immerse himself in his balcony activities, he found himself looking at Fathia's room. At the doorway, he gazed longingly at the girl who was driving him crazy. He avoided her. Behaved coldly. His arrogance surfaced to create distance so that Fathia could become independent and face the world she should be immersed in.

He couldn't go back to being as close as they were before. He knew his boundaries and his promise to take care of her, not to develop any strange feelings for her. Maybe... it was because Fathia was too much like Felice. That's why his heart and mind were becoming more distracted. It proved that Felice was always in his heart.

Always in his heart.

That's what he believed now.

Sebastian sighed softly, "When will all of this end?"