Chapter 41: Chapter 41

So when do you know you've done your best?

Tatiana cleared up the table she prepared for them both. She put off the fire that lit the candle.  She cooked, prepared for him. She waited, she really hoped that tonight they could talk.

She shouldn't have gotten her hopes high.

It was 11:30 in the evening yet Jacob hasn't come home yet

Perhaps he changed his mind. Maybe he wasn't ready to talk yet, or he only said that for her to hope and assume, to get back at her. Or maybe there's nothing to talk about, nothing to fix.

So that's what secrecy does, huh?

And where is he? It's almost twelve in the morning. So far, this is the latest time he hasn't been home since they got here.  If he badly wanted to avoid her, he should've gone home and simply ignored her again. Part of her is worried, she wanted to ask him where he is alright. But the end, she didn't--- he hasn't forgiven her. The gentleness he has shown her? Maybe that was just a show.

Her body ached the next morning. She fell asleep on the couch waiting for him to arrive.

She squinted her eyes before she saw Jacob looking at her.

He was still in his clothes from yesterday. His hair was messy and his clothes are wrinkled, he looks disoriented and tired yet she can still smell his strong perfume.

He was looking at her like he was sorry...

"Hey, did you sleep here?" She wanted to laugh at that tone he's using. He sounded like he was really worried.

She stoood up and shook her head. “I waited for you to come home, Shaw.”

"Tatiana, about that---"

“You don't have to explain, Jake. It's clear to me now.”

"What? You haven't even let me finish." He sighed, raked a hand on his hair. He's really, really worn out. "Something happened in the office. That's why I couldn't come home.”

"You could have called me!" She raised her voice, Jacob was a bit shocked by her sudden outburst. "I waited here like stupid.”

"Momma? Papa, are you guys fighting?”

They both stopped and looked at their son.

H

e looked so cute with his hair sticking out everywhere, in his sponge bob pajamas.

"Hey." Jacob strode towards his son and picked him up, she relaxed a little. Jacob looks so good with their son.

"Mommy and I... we were just talking. We're not fighting." Jacob kissed his cheek. "Go on take a shower, son. You have school today, right?”

Julian nodded. “Mom, can you make a chicken sandwich?”

"Okay, baby.”

When Julian went upstairs again, Tatiana sighed and moved past him but just like the movies, he followed her to the kitchen.

"I'm really sorry." She heard his footsteps as he walked closer to her. He didn't close the distance though, she felt disappointment in that gesture.

“I didn't mean to stood you up, Tatiana. We had to do a damage control in an emergency. I had to hussle the whole night to resolve it. I haven't even slept yet.”

He really looks tired.

She didn't have the right to be angry. It was urgent, his work. It's not like Jacob is supposed to choose her over the company.

"You don't have to explain." She said.

"But,"

"I said it's okay. Go rest. I'll ask the driver to drive Julian ti school. Sleep, Jacob.”

For a minute he just stood there, she felt his eyes boring into her. After a while he defeatedly sighed and left..

A lot of thing really changed between them The Jacob she knew would call her. The Jacob who loved her, he would call and spare her sometime. He would explain. He'd even drop anything for her, do everything. This Jacob is nothing like she knew. Maybe, just maybe, she lost him when she asked him to let her go.

"Thank, Tian. I guess I really need this right now." She invited her brother to eat with her. It's been a while since they dined out alone.

"Tati, are you okay? Is that Shaw treating you right? Because if not..." he trailed off.

“Christian, I admit , things between us aren't good these days. But I'm really trying for us, especially for our son. I guess I really have to endure for now because... that's love, brother. It requires sacrifice.” she heaved out a sigh.

"If he ever mistreat you and my nephew, ate. You tell me."  Christian has been an over protective brother ever since.

"He wouldn't mistreat us, Tian. Jacob is not like that. Even thought we aren't in best terms, he wouldn't do anything that would hurt our son."

"What about you?"

She remained silent.

"Jerome still checks out on both of you. You know? He always calls to ask about you and Julian. He left Italy. I still like him for you, Tati. He loved you so much up to the point he left so you could be truly happy.”  Her brother sighed. "I just hope you're happy, ate. That you didn't regret coming back to Jacob Shaw."

"I did not regret anything, Christian. I love him, Tian. He's the father of my son, he's my husband. Whatever's going on, it's because of me."

She saw her brother stopped scrolling on his phone and sharply looked at her.

He clenched his jaw, balling his hand into a fist. "Hey, is there a problem?"

"You might want to see this," he handed her his phone. It was an article.

Bachelor daddy, baby daddy?

Jacob Shaw and Super model Miranda Santivañes spotted together last night in Shangri La hotel!

It has recently been reported and confirmed that Jacob Shaw, multi billionaire philanthropist and CEO of Strike Bankings that he is indeed, already a father of a nine year old boy. It was believed by a lot of netizens that Shaw, 29, has stopped womanizing and focused on his son and company. But just last night, Jacob Shaw was spotted with his supermodel ex-girlfriend Miranda Santivañes going in together in Shangri La hotel. The supermodel was also heavily pregnant, the reason why she hasn't been doing recent commercials and endorsements.

Reports say that the two checked in together and left the hotel in the morning. Reports also say that Jacob Shaw is the father of the supermodel's unborn child, and the two have rekindled their relationship since it was reported that they have broken up months ago...

She suddenly felt so hot. She couldn't fathom the hatred and betrayal she feels right now.

The phone's screen was getting blurry due to the tears. She almost dropped her brother's phone. She felt arms around her, it was her brother trying to comfort her.

"That bastard..." she heard her brother murmur.

He lied to her face when he said he was out there fixing a problem in his company, when in fact, he was out to meet up with that woman.

And he could be the father of her unborn baby.

How long has he been seeing that woman again? Maybe when she left.  Maybe that's why he goes home late, maybe that's why he wanted nothing to do with her anymore.

This is the price she has to pay. For hiding the truth to Jacob, for cheating to Jerome, for hurting Jerome. She doesn't know if she really deserves to be this hurt since she has paid her price every day living with Jacob's ignorance.

It was a stab of a knife in her chest.

He could have just told her he wanted out. He could've been honest.

Does he want to build a family with Miranda? What about them, then? What about her son?

Oh god, she couldn't let him break her son's heart.

"I'm... calling my lawyer." Her voice broke once again. They were in a car and she had just calmed down. She doesn't even remember how she walked towards the parking lot. "Christian..."

"I'll fuck him up, Tati!" He cussed.

And what happens if Jacob chooses that little family over her and Julian? How would she explain it to Julian?

No...Jacob loves their son, he'd never treat their son an option but her, he can discard her like a trash.

Then if that happens, she's gonna have to fight for the custody in the court.

She punched in the security code of Jacob's condo. She didn't go back to work after that. She was too tired, her head hurts too because she had been crying.

Her brother drove her here. It took a lot of persuasions before Christian left and not go here in his unit. The last thing she wants is for them to fight. No doubt her brother can fight Jacob. She just don't want her brother to get tangled in this mess.

She took her clothes out of the closet and shoved it in her luggage. She's got to finish it before Jacob wakes up.

Jerome, I'm sorry, I don't think I could fulfill you wish that your sacrifice wouldn't be in vain.

Jerome, you were so wrong. He doesn't love me anymore.

She unceremoniously shoved her stuff in her luggage. She didn't bring everything because it wouldn't actually fit.

She'll get those things maybe some other time. Maybe after the divorce.

"Where are you going?" Jacob was standing at the door jamb. He didn't look like he doesn't know what she's doing. In fact, he's standing there like he's never gonna let her out.

“I'm leaving. Since things aren't settled yet, let's just share Julian. He'll stay here for the night. I'll pick him up tomorrow." She said, closing her bag.

“That's it? That easy, Tati? You're gonna leave just like that? You want to fucking leave me again, Tatiana?"

She ignored his dramas. "I called my lawyer. I want us divorced."

He banged the door, closing it behind him. “Tatiana, seriously, how many times you've got to leave me, huh?“

Jacob locked the door behind him and walked towards her. He looked so mad, making her step back. She knew he'd never hurt her physically but she's never seen him this angry.

"No."

"Jacob, let me go!"

"No!" He shouted. "How many times do you want me to let you go?”

“You left me for so long!  Don't act like you're the one wounded because these months you've done nothing but treat me like shit! You don't talk to me here, you don't want to be around me, but when we're out and people are watching, you act as if you still care! You make me wait for you every single night hoping you'd come home early but you never did! Jacob, I seek for your forgiveness and knocked on your door but you shut me down! I know, Jacob! I know I did you wrong and I hurt you, that I hid the truth from you but you're with out son now, right? When are you gonna stop making me feel so sorry?” she actually didn't want to cry but in each words she let go, the more her chest hurts. It was too much to handle, knowing she was hurting and talking in front of a gorgeous man who hurt her terribly.

“So please, just for the sake that you once loved me and I am the mother of your son,

Stop hurting me and let me go."

She'd miss him. Maybe they weren't just meant for each other because if that isn't the case, the events wouldn't be so cruel.

First, they were separated and they met again. Then, there was Jerome. When she came back he hated her for lying, and then, when she thought she could still fix it, Jacob impregnated someone.

"You're not leaving, you're not leaving me again." His grip tightened on her hand. She grimaced in pain.

"Let go, Jacob. You're hurting me.”

He didn't budge.

"Jacob! Fuck! Let me go. Don't make this harder for me."

He shook his head. “No, Tati. No.”

"You want nothing to do with me, Jake. You want our son, I'm sharing him to you. I'm not gonna rob you of the chance to be with him.”

"I want you. I want you, too."

"Jake please---"

"Please Tatiana!" He lashed out. "I can not let you go, never again! Tatiana, I love you. Okay? You hear me?" His voice softened when he said that. “You, and you alone, is the reason why I'm complete.

Tatiana if I ever loose you again, I don't know where I'll be. I'll go crazy. Tatiana! I love you so damn much to let you go."

"Jake---"

"No, no, no, shhh. Baby, listen to me okay?" He pressed her forehead against hers. She kept her gaze down because she kept crying. "I love you. I love you. Tatiana I'm sorry for everything I did. I was angry you hid the truth when I deserved to know the truth. I was just scared to let you in and loose you again. Then I realized I couldn't keep hurting you, because each time I do it, or when i see you cry, I get hurt twice.”

She closed her eyes.. No, don't give in, Tatiana...

"Jacob, you're having a family with someone else."

Jacob raised her chin.  His eyes were bloodshot and his nose was red. He was also crying but not enough to make him look ugly. This man was never ugly,

"There's no one else. Just you."

he started pressing his lips into hers even if she didn't kiss back. He kept placing chaste kisses on her lips, on her cheek.

His kisses were too soft like she was some porcelain he was so scared to break.

"Even after everything, I am still in love with you. I promise to make it up to you forever. I'll be a better man, a better father. Don't leave... just please, tell me you're not leaving, Tatiana. I will never hurt you again I promise.”

That was the moment she saw her Jacob. The Jacob that loved her, he was looking at her that way right now.

He kissed her palms like it was his last resort when she kept silent. "You have to believe me, I can make us work."