Chapter 35: Chapter 35

"What?" Yuvraaj's words barely commanded Anahita's ears as she stared him with tear drenched eyes.

"You don't know that when you were plotting to hurt me, I fell in love with you." She wailed, hiccuping. Stunned, Yuvraaj permitted himself to gawk at her openly. She was not ordinary woman who would lay her heart out before someone she doesn't care for. His brain ceased working, as if an urge to soothe her spurted in him as she rubbed her nose, making it more red than it already was. Her agony had no end.

Yuvraaj reprimanded himself to hear her side of story before hurting her with his words. Her cheeks were stained with tears and the face she wore broke him in fragments. No other woman, apart from her, was able to embrace his gaze. No other woman could make him feel so vulnerable yet strong at the same time.

Wish she would've the same feelings. His heart refused to accept another heartbreak he was expecting.

"Anahita...."

"You don't need to fondle me at all, Yuvraaj. I would've loved if you had been honest with me all this time. You were the only person I trusted after being betrayed by everyone not because I was guilty but only because I really wanted to trust you." She sibilated, lost and defeated. "I know you don't like me. I am not the woman who can have your heart but I was trying to be. I know I have made mistakes, grave ones but I wanted to rectify each one of it. I know I am far cry from the women you would love but couldn't you at least try."

"Anahita, listen to me first. Whatever you saw was...." He was in haste to make her understand and wrapped his arms around her, taking two long stride.

"No, leave me." Her voice was chilling, so was her hands. Creating distance between them, she pressed herself more in the cupboard, allowing to look straight in his eyes. Yuvraaj was fast in collecting the tear that dropped from her eyes on his fingertips.

"Don't cry, baby. It rips my heart apart to see you like this." He murmured, softly, swabbing her tears and cupped her face.

"Look at me. Do you seriously think I would wish to be with someone other than you?" His question was straight and clear, yet she didn't bring herself to nod a yes and staring at the ground proved out to be best escape.

"Why did you make me remind about five weeks if you wish to be with me? Why do you hurt me with your words?"

"You don't have to lie, Anahita. I am with you even if you choose someone else over me but you don't have to play with my feelings. I know that you hide things from me, so do not pretend."

Agitated, Anahita pushed him aside and yelled furiously. "What the hell are you talking? Just now I confessed that I love you and still you're doubting me. Why would I lie? Why would I hide anything from you when you're the only person who knows me better than anyone? Why do you think I will choose anyone over you when you're everything I want?"

Her strength of arguing was fading as she wrapped her mind around his words. Something was wrong she became certain. Yuvraaj wouldn't have behaved so recklessly until or unless he was hurt beyond repair, this was something she got to know the day he humiliated her on the reception yet was waddling around to seek apology.

The wife in her was desperate to soothe Yuvraaj and expostulate him to reveal his misery but she knew his stubbornness, he wouldn't utter a word out of his mouth.

"Because I know. I know Anahita that you're not going to be with me forever, because I know that you're hiding things from me." He preamble, "Maybe you don't want to hurt me because I was the one who wished for these twelve days but that's alright. One day, you have to leave and i would've appreciated if you had been thoroughly loyal to me."

Anahita drew a sharp breath and glared him. "You're still doubting me. Yuvraaj, I love you, why would I not be loyal to you and those days were my wish as well. It wasn't a philanthropic deed on my account. I wanted to be your wife, you fool. Why don't you believe me?"

"I have seen how much loyal are you to me!" He snapped. "I know that you don't love me. It's just your infatuation of staying together."

"You're willing to earn a tight slap from me, ain't you?" She gripped his collar, "You are no one to dictate my love, okay. I know that I love you and I am certain over it but you are the one who doesn't. You just know how to make me mad and you are the one who is infidel here so don't you fucking turn the table on me." She jerked him back and Yuvraaj gripped his wrists before confining her between wall and him.

"You think I am disloyal to you? You think I am having affairs behind your back." He gritted his teeth and she wriggled in his cuff, "I would've been happier if it was behind my back but you wished to be cruel and rub it on my face. I saw you shoving your tongue down her throat. That's what infidelity is, so don't you dare to accuse me."

"I did no such things, Anahita." He fortified his grip and jerked her to look at him. "And even if I did, why does it matter to you?"

"It matters to me because I love you, you bloody hearing impaired." She snarled, beginning to lose her mind. "But I think it doesn't matter to you because it's what you've always done."

"Don't you fucking accuse me. It's you who don't love me and you've the guts to say that I am infidel. If I hadn't feel anything for you, you wouldn't have been standing here. It's bloody infatuation from your side."

"I'll kill you, Yuvraaj if you dared to say this one more time. It may be harsh to you but you have nothing to Infatuate about. Not always a nice body allure us, it takes a nice heart and a stable behavior but your mood swings are worst than a pregnant lady. How could you say that I don't love you when you don't even like me."

"I don't like you? Are you insane?"

"Of course you don't. Haven't you made yourself clear just now? My jealousy, my anger, everything was because I love you, because I can't see you with anyone but unlike everyone, you're blind to see that or perhaps you wouldn't want to see that because you don't want to stay with me. That's why you're counting days. That's why you already searched a girl for you. That's why it doesn't matter to you that I am screaming my confession and that's why you don't believe me."

"You're in contact with Mukund." He revealed, stepping back and Anahita scoffed. "Oh, Mukund card! So now to justify your statement, you'll use him. Well, I am not talking to that asshole since we came here and I've blocked his contact, so now don't lie. I don't fucking care about that bastard. He could die for his own good but I never thought you to stoop so low."

A wave of satisfaction swept over him as he contemplated why Mukund was constantly begging apologises. She wasn't lying. She really wasn't in contact with Mukund. Cursing his anger, Yuvraaj decided to come clean. "I am not lying Anahita. I had talk....."

"It was my fault to think that you would like me, how could I think that you will forget the past and move on with me. A man can never forget that his wife was someone's girlfriend. Right! You must've felt the thought disgusting and it didn't take a minute for you to flirt with someone who you don't even know before six days." She comprehended that she'd hit the mark but the fact was, she had jumped upon another tangent.

"For God sake, I am not flirting with her. She would be the last woman i would want to be with. Why do you always drag her somehow between us? "

"It's you who drags her between us. I never expected you to hurt me like this. You knew I was there but still you danced with her." Tears betrayed her eyes and she turned away from him, finding it difficult to breath in same air with him.

"Anahita that woman is already..."

"I don't want to hear anything as I am no one to you and these five weeks are ending. Pretend as if we never happened." The words were dripped in unfathomable pain as she began to crawl back from him.

"No," He thrust her in him and fortified her plaintive gaze with his, "I can't pretend that we didn't happen because you've been the best thing happened to me. To have you beside me sleeping peacefully is my heaven. To have you coyly smiling because of me is my pride. To stay and grow older with you is my only desire now. Hence, Mrs. Anahita Prakash. I wouldn't forget it and I would never let you forget it."

A retort fought within her as he acceded, "To have me accepting my fault is such a big thing but I do. I accept I was wrong when I concluded things on my own but don't accuse me of something I wouldn't do. We are in a marriage to love each other and grow together not to hide things and ruin trust. You've gotten to trust me, Anahita."

"I trust you." She retaliated, moving back. "But you don't. It's hurtful to keep my expectations high from you and then see them thrashing down on the floor by your actions. There's few thing I wouldn't tolerate and today the way you behaved I've gotten to know that this is one of those things I can't tolerate. You can't just hurt me whenever you wish and expect me to forgive you. I definitely love you but my love is not so weak to bend down on my knees all the time you wish me to."

"Would you please give me a chance to explain?"

"There's nothing to explain." Sweeping his fingers through his hair, Yuvraaj tentatively snaked his arms around her waist, pulling her cosier and nibbled the back of her neck, making her a shudder, for a moment. Taking advantage of the moment of her weakness, he turned her around and slammed his lips upon hers, pushing her back in the cupboard.

Anahita's hands slipped to his shoulder and gripped them tight digging the tips of finger in his flesh to keep herself mobile on the ground. Her anger started dissipating in passion as he tugged her lip between his teeth and pressed hard, earning her moan. It was the moment he chose to deepen the kiss but the lost rage seeped in her again as she felt Yuvraaj's hands stroking down inside her top. Black dots which had covered her vision eluded as she struggled to push him away but Yuvraaj pulled her flushed against him and in a quick motion propelling Yuvraaj away, her hand cracked across his face, slapping him hard, snapping it back with such force.

Crashing of waves was the only sound mingled with their enraged breathes as tranquillity evaporated in the room. Exhaling, Anahita retreated with anger covering her face.

"This is the only thing you want right? I am just a toy for you that you'll play with me whenever you wish." The cracking of knuckles forming in curling fist and clenched jaw entailed vividly that she had caused a grave blunder but she wasn't aware of it.

Yuvraaj stood rooted, his chest expending and contracting with such power that made him contemplate that if he so much just as pinched her cheek, she would break down in glassy shards. Yet, to allow himself to slap a woman was not taught to him, he flared at her with his bloodshot red eyes.

"Get out, Anahita."

Though a wave of fear crossed over her but she refused to be intimidated, hence keeping her chin high, she took her jacket and turned to go, snapping at him.

"With pleasure!" The thing which hurts more than the heartbreak is the regret of associating your heart with someone who doesn't even deserve that. The memories slaps you stingily to make you wonder whether the eye locks, kisses, hugs and confessions you've shared were really a trap or a masquerade. Wish we all had a loyalty detector, the world would've been easier to live upon.

***

Wrapped in the translucent sheet of grief, Anahita permitted herself to pity on herself. With the preamble of sniffing and shedding tears, she blamed her stars. There had to be something wrong with them. They were dull and scattered. Forming no sequence, no miracles. She started fearing her life. For her, it was full of catastrophes.

Fighting with the chilly breeze in a slim shirt and slacks, she plodded to the coast. Covered in the blanket of night, the beauty of ocean in the half moonlight was splendid. The party ended long back and the inshore was devoid clamour, swarms of enthusiastic explorers or the romantic couples making out in the waters. Anahita was relieved to witness the tranquillity in the air, at least no one would be able to spot her crying her heart out. No one would see the weak girl she actually was under the opaque façade of bravery. No one would assay how imperfectly her heart was broken that she couldn't even pick up the pieces and mend it again.

She removed her boots and raveled in the cold sand, leaving her footmarks. Her feet made contact with the soft waves of cold waters as she ascended to the sea, a vague thought of dissimilating herself in the depth of it and immune her from the pain crossed her mind but she paused. It would be wrong if she kills the life she was endowed with. Death is not the end of misery rather it's the start. When you'll be gone,no one would care whether you were right or wrong, some self made conclusions will draw your image.

Nostalgic, she stood at the coastline where waves crashed against her feet. She was on that contrived line that separated land from ocean but the fact was, there's no such line. Similarly, she was fixed upon the line between love and hate whereas there's no such line. Either she was bitten by a love bug or a hate bee. That's it! She was reluctant but she knew deep down that she was bitten by that love bug. And that was the reason, her separation. Unofficial separation with Yuvraaj was hurting her so much.