Chapter 20: Chapter 20
We're very happy that the first day of school is over. It's been hard to get back into the swing of things, but I've enjoyed the break. It means you'll be at the apartment less often and see Kent less often.
This semester, I had a lot of classes, but I didn't have any presentations, group projects, or labs, so I didn't have to do as much physical work. Still, getting a degree in the arts was hard in other ways. Like readings for the class, class discussions, taking part in class, and showing up. It's all fun and games until you have to read three 40-page articles for one class.
I also went to seminars this year. I had to take them to get my high school diploma, and they were hard, small, and scary. There was a lot of pressure in a class discussion to come up with your own ideas and opinions and say something useful. It didn't really change the way I went to school, which was shy and nervous.
I also had to work, write my honors thesis, be in the history society, and live on my own, which was different from when I lived at home. Cooking was the one I hated the most. When I was at home, my parents always made dinner, and it was hard to get myself to cook after a long day.
I was also paying off my credit cards and making sure I had a good budget. It was a totally different kind of stress.
But I liked being distracted, liked being busy, and liked feeling like I had something to do. Even though I was at home, I always had to clean everything. Kent's dishes seemed to be all over the kitchen most of the time. I almost thought he did it to make me mad on purpose.
I'm sure he did, because he always does stupid things like that.
"Hey Julianna." When I turn around to see what's going on, I see Chase in the campus coffee shop. I liked working outside of my room because I could get more done that way, and I was becoming more and more interested in The Grind.
"Oh hey." I say kindly, putting my pen down.
I haven't seen him since the party at his house, but he sent me a text. Only a few times to say hi or because I was in one of his classes.
"I haven't seen you in two weeks, how are things?" I just shrug when he asks.
"No problem." I have to say that, even though it didn't feel like the truth. I didn't like schoolwork. "Would you like to take a seat?" When I ask him, he smiles and nods.
"Sure, just let me go grab a coffee." I smile at his happy face when he says something.
When my phone starts to ring on the table, I go back to reading for the week while staring at my laptop and taking notes as I go. When the screen says "Mom is calling," I pick up the phone and answer it.
"Hello, mom." I sigh.
"Hi honey, how's your day?" I just give her a shrug when she asks.
"Everything is fine so far. I'm just doing school work." I say what I want to say, and then I wait for her to say something else. "Did you ask for something in particular?" I ask, trying not to come across as too mean by accident.
"No, I wasn't mad at you. I was just wondering how you were."
"Mom, I spoke to you three days ago." I tell her with a smile, and she sighs.
"I know." Yes, she says. "I miss you so much, and the house seems so empty without you."
I laughed at that. I knew my mother missed me, and I missed her, too. I liked being at home and telling her about my day, but now I had friends and other people to talk to.
"Me, too. I miss you." I told her because I was sure I did and I thought she needed to know. "I could come home for dinner this weekend?" I give a shrug and open my laptop's schedule.
Chase is standing next to my table with his coffee in hand. I put up my finger and smile briefly to let him know I'll be right back, and he takes the seat across from me.
"That would be a great thing." Mom is adamant. "What day is today?"
"Friday." As I look at my Saturday night shift, I tell her. "But I'd have to go home that night because I'm going to the pool the next day."
"That's something we can do." She says that to me.
"That sounds like a plan," he said. I said it. "I'll see you soon, but I have to go now."
"All right, we'll see each other this weekend." She gives a sigh. "I love you, honey. Have a nice week off."
"I love you too, bye," she said. I smile as I hang up and put away the phone. "Sorry." Chase gives me a shrug when I look back at him and mumble.
"No big deal." This is what he says while he scratches behind his neck. "Who was it?" He asks, looking interested.
"Why, mama?" He blinks and shakes his head when I ask him.
"Oh, um....just asking." I raise an eyebrow when he talks back.
"Liar," I say again, and he laughs.
"Okay, I thought it might be a boyfriend, so sue me." I roll my eyes when he says something.
"Who says it couldn't have been a girlfriend?" I ask him with a shrug, and he stops for a second. I knew it was more out of shock than disgust, because if his roommate Ellis was in a long-term relationship with a girl, he had to be able to accept that.
"Well, I guess you're right. I shouldn't probably ask that, do you mean?" He murmurs and rubs his face with his hand. I laugh. This is free and a lot of fun.
"No." I just shrug as a response. I sometimes wondered if I was, but other girls just didn't appeal to me. I really didn't know if I was interested in anyone most of the time. "But trust me, if I were, the tool would be a lot better to choose from."
"You don't think any of the guys on campus are good, do you?" I laugh when he asks.
"I don't know, but from what I do know, the answer is no." I just shake my head and say yes. "I don't think I could really talk and hook up on stage all that much. Honestly, it seems hard and silly."
"Every guy doesn't talk to a thousand girls at the same time." When he tells me, I roll my eyes. It's true."
"Regardless of what you say." I shrug. "Show me I'm wrong, Chase."
I take the cap off my pen again and write another bullet point in my notebook. I was too busy to want a relationship right now, so I just brushed it off. Wasn't important.
"I believe so." When he shrugs, I laugh.
"I doubt it." I disagree. "Even if there was a nice guy around, what makes you think I would want to date him?"
"Well, do you care what you look like?" I just shrug when he asks.
"To be honest, I'm not sure." He laughs when I tell him.
I've only ever had two boyfriends, and they were a very, very long time ago. High school boyfriends.
"Why in the world would you tell someone no?" When he asks, I roll my eyes.
"You do realize we just met, right?"
"So? I want to show you, Julianna, that you're wrong and help you find the man of your dreams. Please help me." He tells me this while grinning over his coffee cup, and I sigh and feel my cheeks getting red. Talking about it made me feel bad.
"I'd be impressed if someone I liked liked me as much as I liked them." He looked surprised when I told him the truth.
"What do you mean?" I just shrug when he asks.
"I'm really good at putting guys together with their soulmates in a nice way." When I told him what happened, he looked at me funny. "I'm the easiest girl to talk to in a group, and the guys I meet always end up being my friends. And that's okay with me."
"Soulmates who are platonically compatible?" He says it again, and I laugh and wipe my face with my hand.
"You heard me." I say what I think, and he laughs. "I don't know, I'm awkward around new people and I don't think of myself as the type of person who goes on dates. I can't remember the last time I really wanted to go out with someone.
Then I look at the table and quickly close my mouth, realizing that I just said a lot about who I am as a person.
"I'm sorry, I said too much." I mumble, and my stomach starts to churn. Why did you say all of that, Julianna?
"No, I don't mind," she said. I sigh when he tells me this.
"Well, I guess you'll have to listen to me talk about my deepest thoughts." He laughs when I tell him.
"Would saying what I was thinking help?" When he asks, I immediately say yes.
"Yes, I agree that would make everything better."
"Alright." He chuckles. "What do you want to do?"
Was there something important I should know? I didn't want to ask him something that would make him feel bad.