Chapter 1: Chapter 1

JULIANNA

I hate taking the bus.

It's not because I think it's overly crowded or gross; it's because it's such a long commute to and from university. I reside approximately thirty minutes from Brown, thirty minutes from A to B. Buses, on the other hand, do not travel from point A to point B; instead, they take a variety of routes and turns. When all is said and done, that makes my commute more like one hour.

As a student, I get to take a big bus trip to start and end my day. I'm exhausted all the time, and my backpack contains everything I could possibly need because there's no going back to get something. My day begins at eight a.m. and concludes at eight p.m. It should be unlawful to do this much work.

But today's bus ride wasn't to get to class, it was to visit Carlo in the City. Carlo and I had met in my freshman intro to philosophy class, he leaned over and asked me if this was accounting ten-fifteen and I had to break the news to him that he was in the wrong class. Turns out, he'd mixed up the order of his classes and thought he was supposed to have our intro to philosophy afterwards.

We've been friends since then, we used to go out and grab coffee after class. There was never any studying going on for Carlo, never. I wasn't too sure how he'd even managed to get this far into school without a proper schedule nailed down. We weren't the closest of friends, he certainly had others but he was nice, kind. Just with tons of ADHD and would forget his own house keys if he didn't always have them secured to his belt with a carabiner.

One thing was for sure, we were total opposites. We were great friends who had good conversations, but the way we lived couldn't be more different. I was always organized, always ready for a "what-if", compare that to Carlo who actively slept on a pile of laundry in his room for two weeks when his bed hadn't come in at his apartment.

I hadn't actually seen him for a while, he'd been at a co-op placement since January in Newark and he was finally back in the city so we made a plan to get coffee. Carlo was an econ student and had sadly graduated back in April, he was a year ahead of me and I wasn't sure where he was going next year. We hadn't kept in touch too well, and that was mostly my bad. I forgot to text people back all the time.

The one thing Carlo had that I was envious of, was he lived in an apartment that was a fifteen minute walk from campus. I'd only been once before and that was right after he'd moved in last August.

I dreamed of living in a student apartment, dreamed of being independent and free like the other students my age.

Most of the people I went to highschool with were eager to get out of Rhode Island and I was looking to stay. Why go a hundred miles from home when I lived close-ish to an ivy-league school that had already accepted me?

But that felt like a worse and worse decision, I felt lonely. When other kids my age were black-out drunk in a frat basement, I was at home in my tiny bedroom. I had the money saved up, but there was no way I could afford to live alone, and I didn't have friends who were looking for places. Everyone I knew at school was closer with other people, which left me alone.

I snap out of my frustration hearing the bus call out my stop out-loud. I stand up and walk to the door, waiting for it to spring open. I step out on a corner in the middle of campus, looking around. It's still relatively quiet, the campus in the summer wasn't too busy, just researchers and summer students.

I had the privilege of only carrying a tote bag today, I had no class, no work, just a coffee with an old friend. I also got to wear a summery pair of shorts and a tank top. I wasn't a particularly fancy person, but I spent more time on my looks today, more time getting ready than I normally did for a commute to campus.

I walked up the road to the campus coffee shop, lovingly named "The Grind", it was in a cute little building just next to the arts center. I step inside and look at the blackboards with the specials written out.

I was less than perfect in social interaction, quiet and awkward with people I don't know, and a bit too enthusiastic with people I did. I was always in my own head, forcing myself to crank my mood up or down to fit the situation.

"Hi, what can I get for you?" The woman at the counter asks, her lip piercing dances in the light and I temporarily lose my train of thought.

"Um, could I get an iced latte?" I ask quietly, rooting through my bag for my wallet.

"What size?" He asks, sounding less-than enthused and I ramp up the kindness, worried she was upset because I hadn't specified sooner.

"Medium, please.' I smile, finally feeling my hand close around my wallet.

"Just regular milk?"

"Yes, please!' I shrug, keeping my tone light.

"That'll be six-twenty-two, cash or card?" She asks and I feel my heart randomly shoot up in panic. Almost seven fucking dollars for an iced latte?

"Card, please.' I sigh, pulling out my debit card. I feel like I can hear it weeping as I tap it against the machine. She gives me a number and I sit at a table and wait for Carlo.

I hook my bag onto the back of my chair and rummage around for my cell phone. It buzzes with a text and I unlock my phone to read it properly.

CARLO [11.01PM]

“Running late, be there in 5”