Chapter 18: Chapter 18

ESTRELA

Something flashes in Kian's facial expressions. It's a determined look he's fixing me with now. I want to back away, but my body is frozen. What am I doing here? I'm just lying to myself by telling myself that I only came here for his laptop. But the truth is, I came because I really wanted to know what he had to say and because I was... longing for him.

Kian takes another step towards me. There's only an arm's length between us. My body seems to have woken up again and I take a step back, realizing much too late that there is something behind me. I'm losing my balance But Kian catches me in time before I make acquaintance with the ground. Once again! He grabs my waist and pulls me against his body. I gasp in surprise. I put my hands on his chest. Instead of pushing him away from me, I just leave her there.

"You're good at tripping," he says, grinning. He then takes my hand from his chest and unknowingly places it on his cheek. "Oh man... you're driving me insane," he whispers. I get goosebumps when he kisses me somewhere under the ear. I allow it. "What are you doing to me?" he whispers. His lips move on to my neck, where he pauses and draws in my scent. The question is more like: What is he doing to me ? I'm out of my mind The only thing I feel are Kian's caresses on my skin. His storm gray eyes have darkened and the dimmed lights in his house make them sparkle like liquid silver. I had never seen such beautiful eyes.

Then, unexpectedly for both of us, I press my lips to his. A satisfied groan escapes him when I have dared the step. He's gentle, moving his lips lightly to mine. I enjoy his taste, enjoy feeling his body still pressed against me. And I don't miss his hard step either. Because he presses himself against my stomach and is therefore not to be ignored. I suddenly wonder how it feels to hold him. to feel him. how tough he gets How comfortable he is inside me... Since when do I have thoughts like this? Kian's growl vibrates through my body as I tangle my hands in his hair. Our kiss suddenly becomes more demanding, almost desperate. Kian directs me backwards until I feel something soft in the back of my knees. He pushes me down with him until I come to lie on the sofa. Arms tucked beside my head, he looks at me with eyes that drift with desire. "God, you have no idea how much I want you!" He lowers his pelvis onto mine and moves lasciviously. Oh..."I want to sink into you. So damn deep that you still feel me inside you days later." He moans the words. My abdomen throbs with delight. It's almost too much and yet not enough. His words are like fire - they kindle a burning desire in me. His pelvis hits mine so suddenly that a loud moan escapes my lips. Although we are fully clothed, this feeling is so incredibly intense. "Fuck!" He lowers his mouth to mine again and his hand wanders under my shirt, onto my bare skin,

"Kian!" I gasp as he pushes my bra aside and cups my chest in his large hand. I tug at the hem of his shirt. With a lopsided grin, he pulls it over his head. His body is so damn perfect. The tattoos on his skin turn him into a work of art.

"Do you like what you see?" He grins, but as soon as I touch him and start tracing the tattoos, he misses his grin and his eyes blaze.

"You're so beautiful," I slip out. Kian's gaze changes. Suddenly there is something like ... longing in his eyes. He kisses me on the corner of the mouth. The gesture is so delicate. Something I never expected from him. Suddenly the doorbell rings. I wince. Kian curses and runs his fingers through his totally disheveled hair.

"Damn the pizza." He gets off me and puts his shirt on. I don't know whether to be relieved or frustrated about this. After all, I was just about to sleep with him. My mind was swept away. But now that he's slowly starting to work again, I wonder if sleeping with him wouldn't have been a mistake. After that it would never be the same again. I'd be just another woman on his long list of who he's gotten laid. The realization hits me hard.

"I have to go!" I get up, but Kian grabs my arm.

"No. Stay. Eat the pizza with me, then I'll drive you home."

"Kian, I..." The ringing interrupts me.

"Wait a minute." Kian goes to the door to accept the pizza. A few minutes later, he reappears with two pizza boxes. I'm still standing in the same place, wondering what to do.

"I told you I'm not hungry," I lie when Kian places the two boxes on the kitchen counter and opens them. The smell of salami pizza and one with cheese fills my stomach. My stomach growls and I blush in embarrassment because it wasn't exactly quiet.

"Your stomach probably sees it differently." Kian sits down at the counter. "Come and eat."

"Kian..." He turns to me. His gaze does not tolerate any contradiction.

"Come here." My legs move and I sink into the bar stool next to him, staring at the pizza in front of me and my mouth watering. "It's just a pizza." Kian, holding a piece, glares at me in amusement. I roll my eyes and finally grab one of the pepperoni pizza. I have to suppress a groan. God, the pizza is really good and I can tell I'm really hungry.

Ten minutes later there are two empty boxes in front of me and my stomach is full of pizza. Kian takes the boxes and throws them away, then he hands me a beer and opens one for himself as well. "I should..." Kian doesn't let me finish.

"Want to see another movie?" He saunters over to the couch, which faces a large TV. He turns it on and taps the remote control, which he uses to browse through the media library. "Just a movie." He notices my hesitation. "You can choose too." I am puzzled by his behavior. He wants to go to a movie night with me?

"Okay...." I hear myself say. Kian smiles broadly. I settle into the couch while he keeps clicking around and asking me what I want to see. In the end we decide together for Jurassic World. Kian, who is sitting next to me, but still with enough distance, has his arm behind me on the armrest. As Kian watches the film intently, I can't stop thinking about his arm lying behind me. Or what we were doing on the couch earlier. Also, my gaze wanders to him all the time while he's just staring at the screen. I didn't know someone could be so sexy just sitting there, legs apart, beer propped on thigh. How can something so normal be so hot? Suddenly I feel his arm on my shoulder. I look at him he doesn't look at me, but there's a smile on his lips. He pulls me by my shoulder until I'm leaning against him. My butterflies are fluttering in my stomach and I can't move. I allow him to pull me closer and wrap his arm around my waist. His gaze, still fixed on the TV. The hand that touches me spreads warmth throughout my body. It feels so good. I feel safe and protected. A feeling I haven't felt for so long. So I tune out my concerns and rest my head on his shoulder and try to focus on the film. Kian's grip on my waist tightens a little. A satisfied grin adorns his lips now and somehow I can't resist one myself. I actually cuddle with Kian Warren. After a while I notice my eyelids getting heavier. At some point they will fall to me. I fall asleep with my head on Kian's shoulder and snuggled up against him.

When I open my eyes, the first thing that strikes me is the soft bed I'm lying in, which is definitely not my own. The shutters on the windows are pulled down and only a few rays of sunshine shine into the bedroom, which I don't know. I remember back to yesterday. I'm with Kian and it looks like I fell asleep with him. But instead of waking me up, he carried me to his bed. I honestly don't know what to make of this gesture. It's cute on the one hand, but actually it wasn't planned to spend the night here. I turn onto my side and assume that Kian is lying next to me. But he doesn't. Only the unmade page tells me that he probably lay in bed that night. Suddenly I can't stop myself burying my nose in the pillow. Its good, fragrant smell rises towards me immediately. I feel a cool breeze blowing in from an ajar door. The bedroom probably leads out onto a balcony. I slowly get up and look around. The bed I lay on turns out to be a futon bed made out of pallets. I let my eyes wander further around the room. A wardrobe, a TV hanging on the wall opposite the bed and a large black fur rug are in this room. Certificates and trophies hang on one wall – presumably from fights that Kian won. I move closer to look at her, just as I hear the balcony door open and a shirtless Kian appears. I feel a cool breeze blowing in from an ajar door. The bedroom probably leads out onto a balcony. I slowly get up and look around. The bed I lay on turns out to be a futon bed made out of pallets. I let my eyes wander further around the room. A wardrobe, a TV hanging on the wall opposite the bed and a large black fur rug are in this room. Certificates and trophies hang on one wall – presumably from fights that Kian won. I move closer to look at her, just as I hear the balcony door open and a shirtless Kian appears. I feel a cool breeze blowing in from an ajar door. The bedroom probably leads out onto a balcony. I slowly get up and look around. The bed I lay on turns out to be a futon bed made out of pallets. I let my eyes wander further around the room. A wardrobe, a TV hanging on the wall opposite the bed and a large black fur rug are in this room. Certificates and trophies hang on one wall – presumably from fights that Kian won. I move closer to look at her, just as I hear the balcony door open and a shirtless Kian appears. which I lay on turns out to be a futon bed made out of pallets. I let my eyes wander further around the room. A wardrobe, a TV hanging on the wall opposite the bed and a large black fur rug are in this room. Certificates and trophies hang on one wall – presumably from fights that Kian won. I move closer to look at her, just as I hear the balcony door open and a shirtless Kian appears. which I lay on turns out to be a futon bed made out of pallets. I let my eyes wander further around the room. A wardrobe, a TV hanging on the wall opposite the bed and a large black fur rug are in this room. Certificates and trophies hang on one wall – presumably from fights that Kian won. I move closer to look at her, just as I hear the balcony door open and a shirtless Kian appears.

"Morning."

"G-good morning," I stutter. Kian grins and approaches me.

"Surely you want to freshen up?" I stare at his bare chest that has been kissed by the sun.

"Um... yeah" Why am I so nervous all of a sudden? And since when is kian so cute? It's almost too good to be true. Maybe I'm still dreaming...

"There's the bathroom." He points to a sliding frosted glass door that I hadn't noticed before. He walks up to her and pushes her open, behind is a black and white bathroom. With a large shower and even a bathtub, as well as two sinks and a toilet. "I'm sure I have a fresh toothbrush for you," he explains after I hesitantly enter the bathroom. He looks in different drawers under the sink while I watch the muscles in his back. Heaven! "Here." He stands in front of me and grins at me. I frown, still confused by his caring demeanor. "The toothbrush". He holds what I mean in front of my face and laughs. "You're probably still asleep."

"Thank you," I murmur sheepishly.

"I have to go to practice soon, but I can take you home before then," he offers.

"OK." He winks at me and disappears. I exhale loudly and look at myself in the mirror and startle myself at the sight of myself. My cheeks are still flushed and my hair is messy like it always is after sleep. I badly need a shower. After brushing my teeth, going to the bathroom, taming my hair a little with my hands, I walk out of the bathroom. The shutters are now open in Kian's bedroom and the room is now flooded with light. His bedroom door is open and I walk out into the hallway, then down the stairs.

I find Kian in the kitchen. "Coffee?" he asks me when he notices me and I turn to him.

"Yes, sure." I manage a small smile. Kian got dressed. He is now wearing black jogging pants and a white shirt stretched over his upper arms. I watch him making coffee. My thoughts wander back to last night and all the other moments between Kian and me. I suddenly get very hot and I don't even notice how Kian stops in front of me with a cup.

"Estrela?" He looks at me. His eyes, which are illuminated by the light, let me sink into them for a moment.

"Do you actually do that often?" I blurt out. Kian frowns before setting the cup down in front of me and giving me a serious look.

"What do you think?"

"Well, pretend to be the charming guy. Invite a woman over to you, seduce her, watch a movie and then drag her to your bed and offer her a cup of coffee the next morning?" I don't know where the sudden outburst is coming from, but it occurred to me that it probably does this to every woman. True, he didn't sleep with me because I fell asleep and we were interrupted before that. But he certainly intended to. Now he's acting like a nice guy, even though he's not.

Kian has his arms crossed and he glares at me angrily. "Why do you think I do this to every woman?" he growls. I roll my eyes and stand up.

"That's good. You see, I've bitten." He draws his eyebrows together.

"Oh yeah? I didn't fuck you!" I gasp.

"Yeah, but you would have done it!" I hiss back. Kian laughs.

"You didn't look like you didn't want it, kitty." He grins meaningfully and looks at me. I glare at him angrily. He's right, I didn't look like it, but I've realized that I definitely don't want to be that woman he just sleeps with and then dumps.

"I don't buy this whole thing. You're just being nice to me so you can get me in your bed," I voice my concerns out loud.

"So that's really what you think of me? Listen! When I want a woman, I don't dilly-dally or pretend. I've never asked a woman to have dinner with me, let alone her Watched a movie or let her sleep in my bed and offered her a coffee tomorrow, do you know why? Because I always throw her out before that. My bed is actually taboo! So stop saying something you don't know anything about!" He's raised his voice and his hands are clenched into fists.

"Am I supposed to buy that? Am I supposed to feel special now that I got to sleep in your bed?" Kian bangs his fist on the counter. I back away, startled. Surely that must have hurt, but he shows no emotion of pain. just anger

"No, you're definitely nothing special," he says softly. "You're right, I just wanted to get you into bed. That was just an exception. And since I know you're hard to pick, I let the nice one out." He grins and shakes his head. "But I don't want to fuck a woman who immediately judges me and labels me an asshole!" His eyes bore into mine. His words hit me deeply, even though I expected something similar from him. Why the hell can't I finally admit it to myself? Why do I keep running over to him when he's the biggest ass I've ever met?! "I have to go to training. You can find out on your own." Are you serious? He walks past me and I only hear his footsteps as he walks up the stairs. I wince as a door slams loudly.

***

KIAN

I let my anger and frustration out during training. I'm probably hitting the punching bag way too hard and getting funny looks from my trainer. Fuck! Never in my life has a woman made me so infuriated. What do you mean by being able to judge me like that? Sure, it's no secret that I fuck a lot of women. But she's so damn wrong that she's accusing me of picking up every woman like I did yesterday. She didn't even give me a damn chance to believe me. She assumed that from the first moment. God what a mistake it was to invite her to my place. Does this woman really think she knows me? She doesn't know shit about me! I've never done what happened yesterday. I've never asked a woman to stay the night with me. I have never offered a woman to watch a movie, and I have never let a woman sleep in my bed. All I did was fuck her. Not more.

When Estrela fell asleep in my arms, it was the most wonderful feeling I have ever felt. I didn't want her to go because I didn't want to let go of the feeling of security... That's why I put her in my bed. And I have to admit that I slept better that night than ever before. I didn't have nightmares. I didn't get up in the middle of the night to hit the punching bag. No, I fell asleep next to a woman who awakens something in me that confuses me.

"Easy, boy! You don't want to hospitalize Kayden," comes Harrison's voice next to me. I'll strike one last time before turning to him. "Everything okay?" he asks. I breathe out in gasps.

"Yes," I say curtly.

"You can talk to me, you know that." Inside I laugh. If I really tell him what's going on, I'm dead!

"How is she?" he suddenly asks me. I know immediately who we're talking about.

I grab a water bottle and empty it, then reply, "Worse week by week."

"I'm so sorry, Kian. I know she's the only one you have." Seriously, he really wants to talk about it?

"I doubt it." Harrison frowns. "She said the other day my father was here. He was visiting her." I laugh sarcastically.

"Your father? I thought she didn't know who it is."

"I don't know if I can believe her. The nurse confirms that a man was with her, but the funny thing is that she wouldn't tell me the name." Harrison seems even more confused and rubs his forehead.

"It seems to me that they were threatened not to tell you," he muses.

"Yes, I suppose so too." I sigh.

"Kian, if it really was your father and he's coming to see you, you should be careful. The whole thing seems pretty strange to me. Maybe you should talk to Gabriel about it."

"I have no plans to meet my sire!" I press my lips together. "And I don't want to owe Gabriel any more." He puts on my boxing gloves and swings me into the ring. "Dillan!" I call out, boxing in the back corner. When he sees me in the ring, he understands immediately and comes to join me in the ring.