Chapter 11: Chapter 11

KIAN

Was it a mistake to invite Estrela to my party? I've never really given much thought to who I invite. I've thrown so many parties that I can't even count them on my hands. People came to these parties that I didn't even know. And now I invite Estrela. A woman driving me insane. Why do I worry so much about her? Why am I considering uninviting people when I know they're fucked up. Why am I thinking about it now when I used to give a shit?

Shit, I really shouldn't have invited her to my party because I was actually planning to stay away from her. But I got her hopes too high with that publishing guy. Unloading is therefore out of the question and I'll just remain an ass. Fuck! Sometimes I think I'm really too fucked up for the world, even though my life isn't bad. My boxing career is on the rise. I earn enough with my fights that the money is already hanging out in my ass. And women love me. So why am I complaining? My life is perfect! But there is no such thing as a perfect life. At least not in my world...

I'm sitting upstairs on my patio off my bedroom and smoking one. When my cell phone rings, I stub out the cigarette, answering the call as I walk back inside. "Yes?"

"Kian! The fight between you and Kayden Stell was staged," says my trainer Harrison angrily.

"Frankly?... Why?" I ask him, confused. Who the fuck comes up with the idea of putting up a fight? That's weird. Fights are more likely to be postponed.

"I don't know, boy. But I can't help it. I'm telling them to change that, but they said that someone really wanted the fight to be promoted and there was nothing I could do about it."

"Who?"

"An idea, they didn't tell me. Just that it's a sponsor." Fuck! He must have a lot of money if he managed to change the fight. The rules actually state that sponsors are not allowed to interfere in the fights. But if someone can do that, they're filthy rich or they've been threatening people.

"How far was it pushed forward?"

"Two weeks earlier than the actual date. So in 3 weeks." Okay, two weeks is short, but not so short that it's hopeless. I wouldn't worry too much about any other opponent, but Kayden Stell is strong. We're about the same. That's why this fight is so important and then there's this sponsor who's definitely up to no good. Boxing is a tough business, you don't get out of it clean. Harrison has also been through a lot in his life. I wonder if his daughter knows all about it... "You know I don't approve of training so much, but this time I can't argue with you if you want to win the fight." I'm lucky to have a coach like Harrison. He's not after the money or the win I give him. He lets me decide. Since I'm one of his best fighters, he doesn't want to lose me. And I don't intend to ever change him as a coach. "Kayden is strong. I would say stronger than his father did back then." His voice is restless.

"I know, but I'll get the win." Harrison sighs.

"If you win, stay away from the sponsor..." He also realizes that the sponsor is dangerous and I have no intention of accepting whatever offer he may have.

"I'll do it."

"Good boy. You've been through enough in your life." With these words he hangs up. Harrison is one of the few who knows how fucked up my past was.

"What are you doing here?" Karin is standing in front of my house wearing a coat and I already know that she is not wearing anything underneath.

"I thought we could have some fun?" she purrs, walking past me into my house. Her high heels click on my floor as she walks through my house. "You haven't called in for a long time," she calls out. I follow her slowly. My mood has plummeted since talking to Harrison. So fucking Karin isn't a bad idea now. But I don't know, something is stopping me from doing it. And I also know what it is, or rather whom it is. "Kian, are you coming?" She's standing outside right next to the pool with her coat open. As expected, she is naked underneath and I remain motionless, leaning against the window frame and looking at her. "I see, so you want to watch me." She grins sexy. No, I don't want to watch her, I'm just trying to figure out how to make her leave again. Any other guy would just laugh at me and call me stupid for dumping a woman like that. But honestly, I'm starting to get bored with all of this. So I turn around and go to the kitchen. Now that sounds like shit, but I didn't ask Karin into my house or tell her to drop her coat so we could do it in the pool. I get a cold beer from the fridge. As I open it, I hear Karin's confused calls to me. "Kian, where are you going?" She appears in the kitchen wearing her coat again. that I dump such a woman. But honestly, I'm starting to get bored with all of this. So I turn around and go to the kitchen. Now that sounds like shit, but I didn't ask Karin into my house or tell her to drop her coat so we could do it in the pool. I get a cold beer from the fridge. As I open it, I hear Karin's confused calls to me. "Kian, where are you going?" She appears in the kitchen wearing her coat again. that I dump such a woman. But honestly, I'm starting to get bored with all of this. So I turn around and go to the kitchen. Now that sounds like shit, but I didn't ask Karin into my house or tell her to drop her coat so we could do it in the pool. I get a cold beer from the fridge. As I open it, I hear Karin's confused calls to me. "Kian, where are you going?" She appears in the kitchen wearing her coat again. I get a cold beer from the fridge. As I open it, I hear Karin's confused calls to me. "Kian, where are you going?" She appears in the kitchen wearing her coat again. I get a cold beer from the fridge. As I open it, I hear Karin's confused calls to me. "Kian, where are you going?" She appears in the kitchen wearing her coat again.

"Karin, I'm sorry. But I'm really not in the mood today." OK, that's not entirely true. Sure, I can fuck her now and cum, but SHE is stopping me from actually doing it.

Karin laughs as if I had made a joke. "Not in the mood, Kian. That's the first time, honestly, that you dumped me..." She doesn't seem angry, more amused. I'm glad she's not playing the angry fury. She looks me over and takes a step toward me." What's her name?" I raise an eyebrow questioningly.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." I keep my voice clueless even though it hit the nail on the head.

"It's always like that. Do you know how many guys I've had who dumped me for another woman because they think they've finally found the love of their life?"

"Great love?" I snort. Love is a word that doesn't exist in my vocabulary and never will. "Karin, you know better than me that I'm not made for love." Her eyes flash in surprise.

"Everyone is, Kian. Even you."

"What do you actually want from me, Karen? Why are you talking to me about it? There is no woman in my life. If you want, I can prove it to you by shagging you right here, right now."

"You're such an asshole sometimes!" She laughs and the fact that she keeps laughing at me makes me angry. I hate it when someone makes fun of me!

"Yeah, an asshole shagging you because that's what you're there for." I'm so angry I don't realize my words until I see Karen's expression change and...Fuck! I've never seen her like this before. I thought she was going to get mad and hit the ceiling instead she's looking at me hurt instead.

"You know what, fuck you!" She swings back and hits me. I hold my right cheek which is starting to throb. I think I deserved that hit.

"Karen, I..."

She won't let me finish. "No, Kian. Just say no more. Farewell, you fucking motherfucker!" She turns her around and leaves my house.

"FUCK!" I throw the beer bottle against the wall, which immediately shatters. It wasn't right to tell her that, but when I'm angry I usually say things without even thinking about it.

Late at night, I dial Jason's number. "Kian? Fuck... do you know what time it is?!" His voice sounds sleepy, apparently I woke him up.

"Yes, three in the morning. Can you come over? I screwed up."

"Jason, who are you talking to?" I hear Summer's sleepy voice in the background.

"With Kian," he answers her.

"What's going on? Why is he calling now?" I roll my eyes Summer can be so annoying sometimes!

"I don't know..." he tells her, then turns back to me. "Kian, is it so important that I have to come by now or can it wait until tomorrow?"

"No, forget it." I hang up and resist the urge to throw my phone against the wall like the beer bottle before.

You can't even count on my best friend. If Summer wasn't with him, he would definitely come. But ever since he started dating her, he's a real jerk sometimes. Previously, when I called him in the middle of the night, he came without question. We talked, smoked something or gambled. After that he left and I felt a little better. No fucking loneliness that Karin or any other woman can ever satisfy. This feeling has haunted me since birth. And I try to get rid of this feeling by fucking someone or calling my best friend over. But it looks like you can't rely on him anymore.

I grab my jacket and storm out of the house. I was originally going to go jogging, but when I walk past a bar, it's much more enticing.

With my fifth drink in hand, the alcohol is slowly kicking in and that shitty feeling is gradually disappearing. I throw a fifty on the counter and exit the bar. It's like I've lost control of my legs, because they're taking me where I absolutely shouldn't be...

ESTRELA

In the middle of the night I wake up confused, realizing I fell asleep on the couch and my laptop is still on. Apparently I fell asleep while writing. When the bell rings, I also realize why I was roused from my sleep. Who would think of ringing my bell at this time? I'm not sure if I should open up. It's just after three o'clock. What if it's a burglar? But it certainly wouldn't ring. Again the person rings the bell and it's starting to annoy me. Whoever it is is persistent. I sigh and get up and go to the intercom. "Hello who is there?"

"Estrela, it's me...can you open the door?!" comes his deep voice. What is he doing here at three o'clock in the morning?

"Kian? What are you doing here?" I am beyond confused.

"Damn it, just open it!" Judging by his voice, he's not entirely sober. Why the hell does he get drunk and then come see me?

"Fine..." Sighing, I open the door for him. Even if it's not a good idea. I hear his heavy footsteps and see him appear around the corner. He is wearing gray sweatpants, a white shirt and a black leather jacket over it. His face is expressionless. Only his red eyes tell me he's had too many drinks.

"Can I come in?" he asks me. Standing in front of my front door, he supports himself on the door frame because he starts to stagger. I step aside so he can enter. As he walks past me, the smell of whiskey and his own signature scent fills my nostrils. Kians collapses onto the sofa where I was sleeping a few minutes ago. I go into the kitchen and pour him a glass of water. When I join him on the couch, he has his head in his hands.

"Here." I hold the glass of water in front of him. With a murmur, he takes it from my hand and drinks it down. I sit down at the end of the couch and study him. "Would you like to tell me what you're doing with me at three o'clock in the morning?" His gaze slides to me before letting it wander over my body. I look down on myself. I wear short shorts and a top with no bra underneath. Clearing my throat, I cross my arms over my chest so he doesn't notice. But with his mischievous grin, I guess I can brush that aside.

"No idea ..."

"Okay, that's all? So you got drunk and then you had the idea to come to my place?" I laugh. His gaze remains serious.

"Sorry to wake you up from your beauty sleep. It was a crappy idea to come here." He gets up and starts to leave. I don't know what's driving me at this moment, but I grab his wrist so he doesn't leave. His gaze falls on my hand, where I touch it, then he looks me in the eye.

"Stay." Yes I am actually asking him to stay even though I vowed to stay away from him but I can tell that Kian is doing badly. That he's going through something and maybe he just needs someone.

"I don't want to bother you..." he says and wants to free himself from my grip. But I put my other hand on his chest to keep him from leaving.

"Stay. I don't think you're here without a reason." His eyes examine me closely. He takes a step toward me that we are now face to face. Pretty close. My hand is still on his chest.

"You're right..." he whispers and strokes a loose strand of hair that has come loose from my braid behind my ear. I gasp and my eyes widen. My heart starts beating faster when I see the longing look in his eyes. But then he lets go of me and it's like this moment between us never happened.

"Uh... do you want another glass of water?" I ask him far too frantically. He smiles and nods as he takes off his jacket and hangs it over the back of his chair. I have to swallow as his muscular arms and tattoos are revealed. I quickly tear my eyes away and get him another glass of water. While he settles back on my couch. In the kitchen I take a deep breath and try to collect myself. Damn, he confuses me so much! When I come back, I can still react quickly enough. I sprint to Kian, who's leaning over my laptop, glass of water in hand. I close the laptop in front of him, spilling the glass and the water lands right on his shirt. "Shit! I'm sorry."

"It's okay," he smiles and points to my laptop. "Why don't you want me to read your book?" he asks me with a smile.

"It's not ready yet!" He grins and starts to open the laptop again, but I'm faster, grab it and go to my bedroom to put it in my closet among my clothes. When I return to the living room, my mouth hangs open. Kian has removed his shirt and is now stretched out on my couch. I stumble over to him and can't believe he's half naked on my couch. I scrutinize him fleetingly or too long. His muscles are pronounced. His six pack makes my mouth water and I want to run my fingertips over it. And then there's that tempting V that so seductively disappears into his jogging bottoms, which are forbidden hanging far down.

"Shut your mouth, it draws." As if on cue, my head shoots up at him, seeing how he caught me grinning. I sit down at the end of the couch, cheeks red. Far away from him and his irresistible body. "What are you doing back there? I won't bite." I look over at him. He surveys the distance that lies between us with a questioning look.

"I think it's quite nice here," I say and draw my legs up. Still aware that I wear too little and he even less.

"Okay," with that he moves closer.

"Kian..." I raise my eyebrows.

"Yes, Estrela?" My name rolls from his lips so seductively I forget what I was about to ask.

"Do not you feel cold?" What? That's my question for him? Isn't he cold? Kian smiles at my really stupid question.

"No, but in the wet shirt it is." My cheeks are probably turning even redder than they already are. Not wanting to look into those gray, hypnotic eyes, I look down at his arms, whose tattoos I can now make out better up close. The first thing that catches my eye is that beautiful rose again and some other floral patterns, then he has some kind of wings, but I can't say exactly what they're supposed to represent. I also discover a saying tattooed in a beautiful, curved font: Fight to win, fall to survive.

"Do you have one too?" His deep voice pulls me out of my scrutiny.

"Don't you have to know that..." When I look into Kian's wide open eyes, I realize what I just said. He opens his mouth to say something, then closes it again and his eyes too, swallowing audibly.

"Fuck! You shouldn't have said that." When he opens his eyes again, his pupils are slightly dilated. I can't even imagine what he's thinking right now. But no! I can imagine it because I was there. "And then you tell me to forget it if you..." He doesn't continue, just runs his fingers through his dark hair. I don't know what to say so I just stare at him. "Estrela, you're not making it any better with your innocent angelic face," he growls. I look away and he accidentally falls onto his pants and... oh the obvious bulge in them makes me swallow hard now. It made him hard thinking about it like me...? "Are you staring at my crotch?!", I hear his rough voice. And if I thought it couldn't get any more embarrassing, I was fundamentally wrong. I shake my head vigorously, which doesn't come across as the least bit convincing. "You're making it damn hard for me to think about anything else right now," he admits, and as soon as I know it, his lips crash onto mine.