Chapter 32: Chapter 32

I FELT my chest tightened.

"I didn't know, Gideon," I said sarcastically. "Tried to remember so you can answer me."

"B-bianca."

I wiped my face with a napkin before I called for the bill.

"Finish your meal so we can go home," I cut him off. "I'm tired."

Gideon and I were both silent until we reached the house.

"Thanks for driving us, Denver." I still managed to smile at the driver even with my foul mood.

"Bianca…" I was on my way to the kitchen to drink water when Gideon called me.

I turned around to face him. "What?"

"I'm sorry."

His face looked somber. His eyes were sad. He swallowed hard. I could see how his Adam's apple moved.

"I'm sorry for being a complete ass in the past. For ignoring you. For giving you pain… For—"

"Let's stop bringing up the past," I cut him off.

"No, Bianca. We need to address it."

"There's nothing to address."

"I need you to know that whatever I did in the past. I'll never do it again. I won't lie to you. I won't entertain another woman. I promise, I won't ever cheat, Bianca."

I took a deep breath. "I literally don't care, Gideon. You can do anything and I won't give a fuck."

"But we're making this marriage work, right?" His voice sounded desperate. "I want this marriage to work."

"It's only you who wanted this marriage to work. I don't want it, Gideon. I wanted to get out of you. Can't you see how fuck up our marriage is? We don't know anything about each other. I didn't know if you'd been cheating on me."

I gritted my teeth before letting out a frustrated chuckle.

"You really wanted to hear the truth?"

I knew that at this moment, I had finally reached my limit. I couldn't stop myself anymore.

"Amelia only asked me a favor to stay with until you recovered. The moment you finish your rehabilitation, I'll leave you, Gideon. I'll file a divorce and go back to my old life."

There. I've said it. I'm so sorry Amelia.

"No." His lips parted. "You can't do that, Bianca. You can't leave me."

I watched him slowly close the huge distance between us.

"Let's fix this marriage, Bianca." His blue eyes were begging me.

"There's nothing to fix, Gideon." I shook my head. "This relationship is doomed from the start."

"I'm in love with you, Bianca."

"You're not. You don't know what you're talking about, Gideon."

"I might have lost my memory but I didn't lose my capability to feel things. sensory organ. And I know what I've been feeling for you."

His eyes never left mine. They were piercing me with his intense stares.

"My heart beats crazy every time you're near. Seeing you smile makes me happy." His eyes fluttered. His voice was gentle and soft.

I couldn't understand why something unfamiliar was crawling into my chest. I felt like I couldn't breathe.

"I want to see you all the damn time. I crave your attention. Now, tell me if that isn't love."

I stilled and remembered everything Helen said to me before she left the other day.

"Your husband… has feelings for you, Bianca. I see the way he looks at you. Those emotions I saw in his eyes can't be fake."

I stopped eating popcorn and snapped my head at Helen. That day, Gideon allowed me to spend the night with Helen. We had decided to watch movies in her room just like what we used to do when we were at college.

"Gideon was only saying that because he lost his memories. He's not being himself, Helen."

"What if Gideon no longer recovers his memories? What if the Gideon who we'd spend dinner with is already the new Gideon? It's possible, you know. Some people with amnesia acquired new personalities, Bianca. Maybe that's the case with Gideon."

I fell silent. What Helen said was true. I'd read it. Serious brain injury can change a person's personality. Especially severe memory loss.

"When you left dinner earlier, Gideon told me he'd fallen in love with you during the past days you two were together. And he seemed determined to make your marriage work."

I took a sharp breath. Gideon said he was in love with me was the biggest joke of the century.

"He didn't know what he's talking about, Helen." I choked a laugh.

"But what's going to be your plan? He won't easily let you out of that marriage. I don't think he'd agree to a divorce."

I frowned. "He can't do anything if I wanted out. He can no longer force me to stay with him."

Helen stared at me. "Well, do you really want out?"

"What are you talking about?"

She quizzically raised her eyebrows. "Gideon… I noticed he has an effect on you. You're blushing earlier, Bianca."

My frown deepened. "What… I was not, Helen."

"We've been together for four years, Bianca. I know you. And I can still read you." She pursed her lips. "With your reaction earlier, I wouldn't be surprised if one day, you'd wake up and you're already in love with Gideon."

I gasped. I opened my mouth but closed them again. Then I shook my head incredulously.

"You're ridiculous, Helen. Didn't you forget that Gideon's the reason for all the bad things that have happened to me? Falling in love with him was just… impossible!"

"But there's a thin line between love and hate."

I turned to Helen. "I can't fall in love with anyone else if my heart already belongs to Charlie."

"You still love Charlie?"

I felt something pinch my heart at the thought of him. Of course, my heart still belonged to him. And I don't think it will change over time.

"So, you're going back to Charlie after all of this?"

I gave her a somber smile. "I don't know, Helen. Charlie said he'll wait for me but I don't think I still deserve him."

"What are you saying? Of course, you deserve his love." She grabbed my face and looked me in the eye. "Listen carefully, Bianca. You deserve every good thing this world has to offer, okay?"

I blinked as I snapped back at the present.

"Y-You're crazy, Gideon."

"If you think that falling in love with you was being crazy, then I would gladly be called crazy."

I turned my back to him and walked to the kitchen. My chest was tight and I needed to drink. Gideon followed me.

"Your memory will come back and you'll regret everything you just said." I said after downing a glass of water.

"Fuck my memory! I'm starting to hate the old me. I don't want my memory to come back."

I could see the rise and fall of his chest.

"Well, if this isn't still clear to you… I don't have any feelings for you."

He gave me a sad smile. "I know. I'd seen that. That's why I keep asking for a second chance, Bianca. Please, give me a chance to make you fall in love with me."

I chuckled mockingly. "I won't fall in love with you, Gideon."

He stared at my face. "You sounded so confident, Bianca."

"Of course."

I'd rather kill myself than fall in love with him. Falling in love with the man who ruined my life would be suicide. Besides, my heart already belongs to someone else. His brother.

"If you're that confident, then why can't you try and give me a chance. Why? Is that because you're scared, Bianca?"

"Me? Scared?"

He moved closer to me. "Scared that you might fall in love with me."

I took a step back and leaned against the refrigerator door.

"I told you, I won't fall in love with you," I said in a firm voice.

"Then go on dates with me."

"I don't–"

"You said you'll leave after my rehabilitation, Bianca. That's two months from now. Come on, date me for two months. And if your feelings for me don't change, I will let you go. I'll be the one filing for a divorce."