Chapter 15: Chapter 15

"ARE you really sure about this, Bianca?" Helen asked me. I was talking to her on the phone.

I just told her that I'm going back to New York. In fact, today was my flight.

After I got out of the hospital, I filled her up with everything that had happened to me in the past months. The accident. My miscarriage. Gideon's condition.

The moment Helen learned about it, she wanted to fly to LA to visit me. But I stopped her from coming over. I knew her situation at home. Four months ago, her daughter had been diagnosed with leukemia.

Helen knew about my marriage with Gideon. Of course, she was aware that Charlie was my fiancé back then so she was shocked when she found out that I married another man who wasn't Charlie.

But I never told her that Charlie was the real father of my baby. Only Gideon and I knew the truth about that.

"Yeah. My flight's only three hours away, Helen." I answered.

It's been three months since I got out of the hospital. Until now, Gideon was still unconscious in the ICU. Even the doctor couldn't tell if he was still going to wake up or not.

Last week, I finally decided to talk to Amelia.

"Tell me you're lying, Bianca." Amelia pleaded. Her entire face was in shock when I told her the truth about Gideon and I's relationship.

"I'm sorry, Amelia. I didn't want to hurt you more by telling you this but I can't continue lying to you anymore." I gave her a sad smile.

"Gideon and I… we didn't love each other. We… we were only forced to get married because of the baby."

I bit my lower lip. In the end, I just told her the half-truth. Just like what I've said to Charlie.

Just like Charlie, Amelia didn't have to learn the whole truth--that Charlie was the real father of my baby. That Gideon only married me for revenge.

She was already hurting with what happened to Gideon. She didn't need to know that his beloved son was a devil in sheep's clothing.

No. I wasn't protecting Gideon. I just didn't want to hurt Amelia.

"B-but I witnessed how you two were so perfect for each other…" Amelia said, her eyes misty with tears. "I've seen how he cares for you…"

You don't really know Gideon, Amelia. You're not even aware how he hates your other son.

I wanted to say but I chose not to. Instead, I smiled bitterly. "Gideon doesn't love me, Amelia. Everything you've seen from us was only an act. We only pretended to be a loving couple in front of other people. I guessed Gideon and I… were both good actors."

"Oh." Amelia's tears started to fall. "I didn't know what to react, B-bianca. This was a shock to me. I thought… you both love each other." She shook her head, then looked at me. "Why are you telling me this, Bianca?" she asked, her voice shaking. "Are you planning to leave Gideon?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "I'm sorry, Amelia. B-but now that o-our baby's gone, Gideon and I don't have a reason to be with each other anymore."

I blinked away the tears that were threatening to fall. This was hard for me. I didn't want to hurt Amelia. But I can't continue living like this. I already lost everything important in my life. I needed to reclaim at least myself.

"We didn't know when Gideon would wake up. The doctors couldn't tell anything. I wanted to continue my previous life, Amelia. You see… I'm from New York.  I worked at NYPL and Gideon asked me to quit my job when we got married. I wanted to go back there. In New York."

Amelia reached for my arm. "But what if he wakes up, Bianca?"

I swallowed. "Well, it's been months, Amelia. I know I have an obligation to Gideon. But I can't keep living like this. I needed to move forward with my life." I bit my lower lip. "I know that I'm being selfish, Amelia. But I wanted my life back. I wanted my life back before I met Gideon."

Amelia wiped away her tears and looked at me. "I wanted to get mad at you, Bianca. But I understand your situation. You're only forced into this marriage." She smiled sadly. "I see that now. Because if you really love my son, you wouldn't leave him during this situation. You'd stay with him."

"I'm sorry, Amelia. If Gideon wakes up, I'll file for a divorce. I'm sure that's also what he wanted to do."

"Have you not thought of  going back to Charlie?" Helen asked.

I shook my head even though I knew Helen couldn't see me. "I'm still married to Gideon, Helen."

"Then date each other secretly in the meantime?" Helen suggested.

My lips parted. "I can't do that, Helen."

Even if I didn't love Gideon, I still value our marriage. I can't date another man while I'm still married to him. Besides, I can't do that to Amelia.

"Besides, I no longer deserve Charlie, Helen. I've hurt him enough."

Helen scoffed. "What are you saying, Bianca? You didn't have a choice back then. Everything was Gideon's fault, okay?"

A sad smile appeared on my lips. "Maybe in the future, Helen. But not now."

I looked around the bedroom that I had stayed in for more than half a year. The corner of my lips tugged up in a bitter smile as I stared at the wall. It was painted black—resembling the emotion I've felt in our entire marriage.

Only a minute after I ended the call, I heard the doorbell ring. I brought my luggage to the living area before I went to the door.

"C-Charlie."

My lips parted when I saw who it was. Charlie was standing in the doorway looking handsome in a navy blue polo shirt and faded jeans.

"What are you doing here?"