Chapter 8: Chapter 8

My mind is in chaos at my heart is not doing well. Damn this fuckin’ feelings. I hate dealing with this shit.

I thought I like him.. but I was wrong. I don’t just like him. I’m already in love with that f*cking stupid shit gay.

After witnessing that scene, I went to my table and fixed my things.

As I was very shocked, I didn’t realize things that I put inside my bag. As I arrived at my house and checked my bag, there is a stapler and puncher that’s inside. Damn!

I don’t care if they will deduct something from my salary because I was under time on office hours.

“Damn you, Gay!” I shouted at the top of my lungs. I am the only one inside my condo unit, and it is soundproof.

I looked at the clock, it’s already 11:30 PM. I think those two enjoy each other’s company.

While me? Sitting here on the couch clutching a bottle of Jack Daniels. Looking like a miserable one.

But, I don’t care!

I want someone to talk to. I tried searching for my phone. But, in my dismayed, I searched all over my things but I cannot see it.  Then, the realization hits me. I forgot it in the office. Stupid.

"Argh! I can’t sleep. Damn!"

Who is in the right mind that can still sleep if your heart is broken? I thought he is gay? It must be gross for him. But, why is he enjoying it? And again, those tears I’m fighting back poured down. F*ck. Why did I plan to seduce and fall for me that gay?

My plan backfired to me. I fell hard.

I woke up because of the loud noise. I ran as fast as I can to open the door. I didn’t even bother to fix myself.

As I opened the door. I was shocked. Shit!

“Ah-h Goodmorning! Are you alright?” he said. As he was looking down the floor like a puppy being shy.

Huh! He must be shy! He still has the guts to asked me if I’m okay. It’s still early but I am very furious.

“No, I’m not! Happy? Get out!”

A shocked face was seen to his face. What’s so shocking?

"Huh!"When I was about to close the door, he reached the door to prevent it by closing.

“OOOOUUUCCCCHHH!” he shouted. I smirked.

Serves you right. Flirt. I mentally thought.

He hurt my feelings, but, I love him though. That’s why I let him entered my unit.

“What are you doing  here?” I shouted at him.

“I was just worried, damn! Look at the time? It is office hours, yet you are not at the office. I tried calling you, but you’re not answering. So, I assumed that something’s not right and I rushed in here.”

I looked at him.

What?

How can this man melt my anger in just a second?

F*ck. As long as I looked at him, I admit that I am falling even more.

At that moment, I knew that I can’t prolong my anger. But, he still needs to figure out that I am not okay.

I took off her hands from me and pointed the door for him to get out.

“Okay, get out. you already knew that I’m okay, right? Go back to that woman of yours.” But, I think he has a very special talent in his ears and heard things out even words that I whispered.

He walks to me as fast as he could and he grabbed my hand. “What? What girl?”

“Wow! Last night, I saw the both of you kissing torridly, then what? Do you already forget it? Are you fuckin’ shitting me?” I shouted.

His face was so shocked. His face turns into a pale one.

Got you!

“You saw that?..” amused by what I said.

“Look. It’s not what you think…”

I walked to the kitchen and didn’t even bother listening to what he was saying.

I thought I can easily forgive him. But, whenever I remembered things that I’ve seen last night, it pains me.

“What the hell, Celine, Le---“

Ohh! So, he was still following me. But I cut him off.

“NO! you listen to me! I just want you out...

Out of my house... And out of my heart!” Then tears come running as if they are in a hurry.

“…Just please leave me al---“ He cut me off using his lips. I am feeling his lips as it was pressed against mine.

That time, I can’t think straight but, one thing is for sure. I’m truly, madly, deeply in love.

Just what the fuck is going on? I am not getting the point of it. Why the hell did he kiss me? And, the thing that I don’t understand is after they kissed, he got back to himself, as a gay, as if nothing happened.

Right now, I am just sitting here at my bed. He said he’ll explain something.

“Can I start now?” he asked.

“I’m all ears.” This is actually what I’m waiting for. I want to know his side. I am just being an open-minded person, trying to understand things.

He breathes heavily, then starts explaining his side.

“I know that there are few people around me, who knows my secret, being a gay." But, Cassandra is different. He didn’t know that, I’m gay. She is one of my closest friends and shopping buddy of my Mom that is why she didn’t know about me, being gay.

I know that she would tell to my Mom,

immediately. And lastly, Cassandra is into pursuing me. That’s why she is always there. Argh! Crazy woman. She’s like a

gun.

Then, there she is, she visited me last night. She just arrived from France and she intended to give me her gift, a watch.

She insisted that she will be the one to put that thing on my wrist. Out of courtesy, I agree to that. But, suddenly, she sat on my lap. I was about to restrain her, but she kissed me immediately. I didn’t respond at first.

But, she said things such as, “If you won’t respond to my kiss, I’ll think that you’re gay! You won’t even kiss me.”

That was the time that I panic. I kissed her so that her inhibitions about me being gay would fade."

The long explanation that I got from him. I cupped my face.

Shit! I was wrong. Did I stay late last night, be a miserable one for nothing?

Bullshit! I thought he was cheating on me!

Joke! I was just imagining things.

Sorry.

I think I feel so embarrassed about myself, but, somehow I feel at ease.

I looked at him intently, “Does that mean, you don’t like that Cassandra?