Chapter 7: Chapter 7

Chapter 7 making you uncomfortable

Waking up to back where I started, lying on the bed in a strange man's house was not what I wanted. I thought I had made that clear in my suicide attempt, but I guess life just wants me to live.

But even I have to admit attempting suicide wasn't my most proud moment. I blame myself for losing the innocent baby I was pregnant with, and guilt feels as if it is eating me away.

I sit up, feeling depressed. My body still aches, and my emotions feel as if they're a roller coaster. One moment I'm feeling better, the next moment I'm drowning in my own tears from my own guilt and shame.

Guilt because the baby is dead.

Shame because I have been used by countless men, and looked at but nothing more than an object to be berated and used until my appearance no longer shines with youth.

And unfortunately, the horrible scars I have earned over the years will remain with me forever. They will always serve as a reminder that I will never be able to completely escape my past.

Bruises will fade and wounds will heal, but scars remain forever.

And so, I gently wipe a stray tear off my cheek.

A tear for the life that was lost.

A tear for the never ending dread and fear I feel.

A tear for the bleak future.

I am about to sleep away my depression once more when a soft knock sounds at the door. My heart starts throbbing in my chest as fear strikes me once more.

"Hello, my name is Katelin. May I come in?" A soft and gentle feminine voice says through the door.

I take a deep breath, unsure if I should trust this woman. Trust is hard to find once its been shattered into a million pieces, so I am unsure, but reluctantly give in.

"Y-You can come in." I say quietly.

A beautiful woman with long, strawberry blonde hair and blue eyes steps though the door, and gently closes it. She turns towards me, and offers a friendly smile. "Hello! So, I'm Katelin. The man that may seem frightening at times is my older brother, Ace." She tells me.

Her brother? I think to myself.

I offer a small smile back, and respond. "Hi."

Awkward tension fills the air, and I notice Katelin can sense it. "So uhm, nice room." She says.

I laugh quietly at her attempt to start a conversation.

"Thanks, but its not mine." I say quietly back. My voice still sounds shaky from being so nervous. I still don't know who these people are and whether or not they have a hidden agenda.

She smiles back at me, before changing the subject.

"So, I'm taking you shopping." She says excitably. "I figured it would do you some good to get you out of the house. Plus, I'm sure you could use a little girl time."

Shopping? When's the last time I went shopping for things other than groceries?

Have I even been shopping for myself?

Does going to homeless shelters for clothes count?

"A-alright..." I reply.

"Well great! Be ready in fifteen minutes." She says.

"Fifteen minutes? But that's not enough ti-"

"Your time starts now!" She says happily, cutting me off.

I jump in surprise, and run into the nice bathroom located to the right. There's a nice, fluffy blue towel hanging on the rack next to the shower, and I make myself comfy under the warm spray of water, relishing in the moment of sweet relief. I had never been in a bathroom or shower this nice before, and I wondered if everyone had a place like this.

I take a quick shower, and grab the blue towel from the rack. Once I dry myself, I wrap the towel around my body, and walk back to the bedroom, and find some clothes laid out for me on the bed. I take them, grateful for the real clothes I hadn't really ever worn, and get changed.

Katelin comes in the room soon after, and says, "You ready?"

I nod my head yes, feeling awkward at how shy I was acting. But how could you blame me? I was in a stranger's house, I don't really know their true intentions, do I? Besides, how could I ever trust a man?

All men are the same, I was sure.

All men were selfish and evil, only taking what they want then leaving it alone to suffer and die.

So, I take a deep breath as Katelin takes me to an office in the home. A man's office, I could tell by the masculine, woody scent.

It was a very nice office; large with high windows. Sitting at the desk, was the man , and I suddenly became nervous.

I'm not blind, he is good looking. But often times men use their good looks to lure their victims out, as I once learned as a naive little girl. I've learned from my mistakes, and I don't ever want to forget that.

He looks up from his work, and glances at me, then Katelin. He smiles, I bet trying to seem friendly. He stands up and walks closer, in which I back away a bit.

Distance.

Distance is key.

He halts, and looks a bit saddened by my gesture, but he quickly gains his composure before trying to speak.

"So, uh.....nice weather we're having." He says awkwardly. Ace looks embarrassed the moment those words left his mouth.

I let out a small, quiet laugh, and I immediately felt the tension that was once present vanish into thin air. I was too nervous to let my guard down completely, but a little bit of laughter can go a long ways.

Katelin laughs too, but louder and says, "Real smooth Ace, real smooth. Any way, we are going shopping for a bit, I figured I should take this Lil' Flower out for a bit."

Lil' Flower?

Ace looks more composed now, it seems as if he wants to forget the awkward moment he had. "Alright, you two have fun." He says before walking back to his desk and sitting down.

"See you later." Katelin says.

So, we begin our journey to the mall. Katelin chatters about all different things on the way there. She talks about everything from clouds to chickens, and everything in between. She made me laugh a few times, and I realized that maybe, this is good for me. Sitting in bed depressed certainly isn't fun, but laughing with a new girl whom calls me friend, is refreshing and it's something I really needed.

The mall is huge, and my eyes dart around me quickly, trying to take everything in. Shops of all sorts are scattered about everywhere, and I don't know where to start.

The scents of perfume, cologne, fried food, and new clothing all mix together, and as we walk, I look around in wonder. I have never been to a place quite like this.

Katelin sees my reaction, and chuckles. "Do you like it?"

I sheepishly nod my head. "Yes." I reply.

"Well there's more to come." Katelin says as we walk into a clothing store.

So many clothes...where do I even start?

Katelin smiles and says, "I know it may seem overwhelming at first, but I'll help you."

"Thank you." I reply. But I suddenly become worried. I get my clothes from a thrift store, which I spend every spare penny on sometimes. These clothes must be expensive!

"But-but everything is so expensive." I say.

"Nonsense!" Katelin says, "Now get your butt shopping!"

"O-okay." I respond as I turn my attention to the clothes scattered about everywhere.

So, we shop for clothes for awhile. It takes a lot of energy to do so, and though it was fun getting new clothes, I don't really understand why people would like clothes shopping for no reason. I find it tiring and long, but in the end, it was worth it. I am thankful for Katelin, she really didn't have to do this for me.

Katelin and I are starved after our shopping escapade, so we walk to a bakery located in the mall. It's a nice, cozy place, and we order lattes and croissant sandwiches. We sit down at a little booth, and I get to learn more about Katelin.

"Katelin, can I ask you something?"

"Of course." She responds.

I pause, feeling nervous, before finally asking, "Would Ace ever h-hurt me?" I feel uncomfortable right when those words leave my mouth, and I am afraid Katelin might find me irrational.

A look of sympathy crosses her face before she exclaims, "Of course not. He may be tough and frightening to outsiders, but to his family and those he cares about, he is as harmless as teddy bear." Katelin adds, laughing. "Plus, he would never hurt an innocent woman."

I don't think that I had ever heard of a man being described as a teddy bear, and it made me laugh that someone like Ace could possibly be gentle.

"Deep down, he is a kind-hearted man whose heart has been broken so many times, that he has become callous. Life hasn't exactly been the easiest for Ace and I. There has been times in my life when I'd thought I'd loose him. So in defense, he built walls around his heart. And for the first time in a long time, he showed his care to a complete stranger such as you. It's a good sign." Katelin says.

I look down at my hands and think. As a little girl, I had always dreamed of a knight in shinning armor to come take me away on his horse and save me from the evil dragon. The evil dragon obviously being my dad.

But when men took the only thing left that was good of me, I gave up. I turned my back on the silly idea of some brave and kind man coming to save me.

I learned that men don't save.

They kill.

I've learned that men aren't brave.

They are cowards who prey on the weak.

And that scares me.

Trust is a scary thing, and at this point, I don't really know if I can trust him, or any other man again.

"Lets get you home." Katelin says.

We get home, and I immediately start organizing my new clothes. I sort them by colors because it looks nice and neat, and organization is my type of style. Once I'm done, I change into some comfortable pajamas. I'm about to watch a movie when I smell something burning.

I hadn't been out of the room much to explore the house, but eventually, I find my way into the kitchen.

And there is Katelin, trying her best to scrub the burned macaroni noodles off the bottom of the pan.

"Attempting to cook I see?" I question.

Katelin spins around, and laughs. "I was going to make mac and cheese for dinner, but I guess that plan goes down the toilet."

"Let Chef Dakota handle this one." I reply, smiling.

Katelin giggles and says, "Go ahead. Cooking isn't my thing any way."

I have a couple of hobbies. I love drawing and I love cooking. It provides me with a mental escape that I need, and it helps in my times of depression.

I have lots of experience with cooking, as I not only worked at a small restaurant, but I also cooked for my dad. It's not like I could eat anything that I cooked for my dad, but cooking was a bit of freedom that I welcomed with open arms.

I turn my attention towards the stove top, and get to work.

"Screw this mac and cheese, I'm making a real dinner!" I exclaim.

Katelin laughs again and replies, "You go girl."

So as I cook, I start to feel a little more comfortable around Katelin, and talk to her more. She shares funny stories about her friends, and I can't help being intrigued.

"So, have anymore funny stories about your friend Jack?" I ask.

Katelin laughs and replies, "Oh yeah, lots! When my cousin and I were four years old, we invited Jack over. He was four years old too. At that time we lived in a house over looking the golf course, which was a child's heaven because when the golf course closed for the day it provided us with endless games, such as running and sliding on the grass, and rolling down the hills and such." She says, in between laughs.

"So, my cousin, Jack, and I, decided to play on the golf course when it was still open. We stopped on the little hill that overlooks the golf course, and watched as a golfer's ball rolled by. So, I say to Jack, 'I dare you to run out, and snatch that golfer's ball.'"

"Oh no" I say, smiling.

"So, he agrees! I still remember watching Jack's short little legs run down and snatch the ball, and all the while the golfer yelling, 'HEY, THAT'S MY BALL!'"

I burst out in laughter at the mental image I created. Katelin and I laugh together for I don't know how long as we continued to share funny stories with each other. Laughter really lightened the mood, and it felt good to just laugh in life.

"That was a funny story." A masculine voice suddenly says.

Ace's masculine voice suddenly says.

I turn nervously towards him. My heart beat quickens and my brain tells me to run.

But then I use logic.

If he wanted to hurt me, he would have already.

He has had many chances to hurt me, and he hasn't like every man I've met.

With those thoughts, I calm down a bit, but decide to observe his body language and eyes for any intentions he may have to knock me down.

For a moment, we just stare at each other. His eyes lock with mine, and I notice that his eyes aren't like my dads. His eyes still have that vibrant look to them, like there's still someone that live there.

My dad, as well as his entire gang, all have that same dead look in their eyes, as if all humanity has fled them long ago. Evil and selfishness dances together in their eyes, and it terrifies me.

They say eyes are windows to the soul, and if that is true, then Ace's soul holds good intent towards me.

He smiles at me. "The food smells good. What are you cooking?"

Katelin pipes up. "Dakota cooked for us tonight, isn't it great?"

"Let me take a look." Ace says, walking towards me and approaching the stove. I do my best to maintain my composure and not show the nerves that plauge my body.

He peers at the dish I had just made. I hear him grumble in satisfaction as he catches the aroma arising from it.

He better not stick his finger in my fo-

I didn't even get to finish the sentence when Ace crammed his fingers into my food.

"Hey, get your fingers out of there!" I exclaim as I swat his hand away.

He smirks at me while he sticks his fingers in his mouth.

"Mmm delicious." He says and winks.

I feel my face turning hot and red and I immediately look down to hide. I fumble with my hands and notice they are slightly shaking from the nervousness I feel.

Katelin rolls her eyes and scolds Ace. "Ace, you're making her uncomfortable, stop it."

Ace chuckles and looks back at me. "Sorry for making you uncomfortable, I'm just really hungry."

I let a small smile show. "T-that's okay."

"Off to the dining room we go before this wonderful meal gets cold!" Katelin suddenly interrupts as she skips out of the room with all the food.

Ace and I follow her, where we enjoy a meal together. I sat as far away from Ace as possible, just so I could watch him and his movements. I tend to study people, deciding whether I can trust them or not. Often times their eyes and their body language gives their intentions away.

So far, Ace hadn't shown me a reason not to trust him.

Only time will tell as I begin my journey to find a man that cares. Only time will tell as I begin my journey to find the man with a kind soul.

Will Ace be that man?

Only time will tell as my trust needs time to regrow and heal.

Until then, though, I will continue to hide behind the walls I have built to protect myself.