Chapter 61: Chapter 61

Chapter 61 Perhaps monster really do lurk in the dark

It rained that night.

As if the day couldn't get any worse, it rains. And the nearest homeless shelter is twelve miles from where I'm currently at.

I find shelter against a brick wall of a building. The old, moldy gutters of the buildings sticks out a good two feet from the roof, providing me with at least two feet of coverage. It does't stop the rain from blowing in through the open sides, though.

But beggars can't be choosers.

So, I hunker down against the aging, abandoned building. I would go in but....I know dangerous people roam the streets and seek shelter in buildings like these. I would take the rain over creepy people lurking in dark places any day.

The wind howls through my ears and I do my best to curl up in an attempt to keep myself dry and as warm as possible. But it's hard to do so when cold rain is being blown in your face.

Well this is miserable.

The sun slowly sinks down into the sky, its light retreating and darkness being drawn over the land like a curtain.

The temperature drops and the storm becomes heavier. The rain pelts my skin and it isn't long before I am soaked to the bone and shivering. I growl in frustration and wrap my arms tighter around myself.

I bury my head in my arms, using them as a pillow for my exhausted, heavy head.

Tomorrow I search the city for a job. I've got to survive somehow. Living on the streets is not an option.

* * *

A quiet groan slips from my parted lips as I become aware that I am lying face down on the cold, hard pavement. I'm still hazy from the horrible sleep I had last night. I sit up, wincing at the soreness in my bones from sleeping on hard, solid ground.

I rub the sleep from my eyes and I shiver when the morning chill seems to hug my skin. My clothes are wet and stuck to my skin and I resist the urge to strip right there.

I hate the feeling of wet clothes on my body, and the fact that I'm freezing makes it even worse.

I don't need to look in the mirror to know that my hair is messed up and that there are bags bigger than suitcases under my eyes.

How am I going to get a job looking like this? I take a deep breath, trying to not let stress get the best of me. You got this. You're a strong woman, you can figure something out. It will all work out.

I try my best to reassure myself but I'm not convinced that it's working.

I'm sure the homeless shelter has fresh clothes I can change into. That's a good place to start.

With those thoughts, I begin the long journey to the homeless shelter. It's quite a walk, and some people stare at me as I wander through the city. Their calculating eyes reminds me of the first time I was at the mental asylum.

They look at me with judgmental stares and I don't like it. It makes me antsy and irritated.

My feet squish and make sloshing sounds with each step I take. It's like my feet are drowning in my own shoes. Goosebumps crawl across my skin when a cold breeze blows past me. The sky is a fading grey, meaning the storm is fleeing.

Thankfully.

I'm not really in the mood to take another frigid shower again.

I just want to feel the warmth of the sun again, I miss it. I haven't really felt the warmth of the sun for a long time now, and I miss it. The sun was in the sky yesterday but not for very long.

The sun is my only friend. It can't abandon me too.

After awhile, I finally reach the homeless shelter. It's a large yet simple building in the color of a washed out white. It's clear the sun has distorted its color. Some homeless men and women alike bustle in and out of the doors, some have bags of clothes in their hands while others carry bundles of hot steaming food.

I clutch my stomach.

I need to eat, too.

I head inside hesitantly.

If someone would have told me I'd find myself in a homeless shelter five years ago I would have laughed in their face.

Oh do things change.

"Hello! Welcome to Gale's homeless shelter! My name is Mary, is there anything you need help with today?" And elderly woman with snowy hair and deep wrinkles engraved into her features chirps joyfully.

"I-uh," I mutter awkwardly, "I've...I've never been t-to a place like this before. W-what do I do?" I ask, looking around. On one side of the room, there's racks and piles of clothing. On the other side of the room, it looks like some sort of soup kitchen.

Then in the back I can tell that there's room for the homeless if they wish to sleep there.

Mary smiles brightly at me and compassion shines in her eyes. "Dear, if you need clothing, go help yourself. They don't cost any money because they were donated by the community. That goes for the food and the rooms, too." She says.

Her smile is contagious and I can't help but feel the corners of my lips curl slightly at her genuine kindness. "Thank you so much. I appreciate it."

"You're welcome. God bless you, dear. If you need anything else, don't be hesitant to ask."

"Thank you."

So I check out the clothes first. I shuffle through the racks of old, slightly dusty clothes. Shirts and jackets of all sizes and colors hand there, and I decide on a button up cream colored jacket. It would look the nicest if I want to get a job.

I find some ripped skinny jeans, though I don't know if they're meant to be ripped or if they are just ripped from being used. Is that really appropriate to wear if I want to get a job? Do people usually show up in ripped jeans for a job interview?

No....they wear something more....professional.

I sigh and put the jeans back.

Eventually, I find a pair of black corduroy pants, and it's at that moment that I realize that's about the best I can do. I dig a small, blue jean material backpack from a dusty bin so that I can put my clothes and other stuff I might need to store later.

New life, here I come.

My stomach suddenly growls and I look over at the soup kitchen where a few homeless people are huddled about.

Food, then new life, here I come.

* * *

The food was actually pretty good. It consisted of the choices of clam chowder soup or chicken noodle, and dinner rolls were served on the side. The bread was a little stale, but I'm in no position to complain.

I changed into the new clothes I had picked up so now I walk around the city with a little bit more confidence. I didn't have a brush to fix my hair, so I just did my best with my fingers.

My eyes roam the shops and stores set up among the streets. I'm looking for a cheap store, not a fancy, expensive one. I don't think any fancy, expensive place would hire me due to the homeless look I wear now.

I find myself walking into a dainty little flower shop. It's simple and I know a little bit more than the average person about flowers since I grew up picking out various flowers and helping plant them with my mother.

The flower shop is small but cute. It looks like a little cottage on the inside and a variety of bouquets are set up around the place.

"May I help you?" A young woman at the front desk asks me. She is neatly dressed. Her black hair hits her shoulders in neat waves and suddenly, my confidence plummets.

No going back now.

"Yeah, I was just wondering if I could possibly get a job here? I know flowers pretty well and I'm in need of a job."

She raises her perfect eyebrows at me and briefly scans my outfit.

"I can give you the phone number of the manager." She offers kindly.

"Oh...I uh, don't have a phone." I tell her.

"You....don't have a phone?" She asks, though her voice doesn't sound surprised. I think she's already judged me. "Here's what I can do, then. You come back tonight and I will give the manager a call. I will talk the situation over with her and I'm sure she will oblique. I will have her answer by tonight, so just come back then, okay?"

I nod and a small smile creeps upon my lips. "Okay, thank you for your time."

"See you later, then." I hear the woman say as I walk out the door.

The sun has come out and now peeks out from behind the clouds. It feels good against my pale skin that has lost color due to being confined from the sun for so long, and I can't help but bask in it for a few moments before continuing on.

I'm not going to leave this area since I have to come back tonight, but I might as well look for more job opportunities while I wait. I'm hoping to get the job at the flower shop, though, because it's my forte.

I go into a pizzeria asking for a job, and the manager greets me. He's an older man, maybe in his early forties. He asks me for my resume but seeing I didn't have one, I knew my chances were already knocked down.

So, he questioned me instead. He went through several questions such as my character traits, why I deserve the job, etc.

But then he asks the question I've been dreading.

"Do you have a criminal record?"

I sigh and look down and watch my thumbs tumble over one another.

"Yes. Yes I do."

"What were you convicted of?" He asks, raising both of his brows, causing the skin on his forehead to wrinkle.

This was a bad idea. I shouldn't have even come here. Now even more people will find out about my past. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

"Uh....manslaughter."

He kicked me out so fast that I didn't even have time to blink before I realized I was back on the streets again. I groan in frustration and continue my search. I find myself in a sports store but I get turned down there for the exact same reason, too.

As of now, my only hope is that flower shop.

So, I begin my journey back to the shop. It is nearly nighttime now and I'm anxious for this job.

An odd feeling settles in my chest for some reason, but I push it away. Maybe it's because I'm frustrated about these failed job attempts. I try to convince myself.

But the feeling doesn't go away, and my steps falter when I reach the flower shop. I take a deep breath, encouraging myself.

But when I step up to the front door and pull on the handle, it doesn't open. I shake the handle, perplexed as to why the door is locked.

Why would that lady tell me to come back this afternoon when they are closed? I ask myself, not wanting to except reality that's about to hit me like a train.

I uselessly shake the locked door a few more times before my arm goes limp beside me. I'm about to turn away when I catch a sign hanging in the window.

In all capital black bold letters, it reads:

NOT HIRING.

I clench my jaw and I resist the urge to smash the window into smithereens. How dare they give me false hope? Couldn't they have just told me earlier instead of waiting to do so? Now what am I going to do?

A frustrated sigh leaves my lips and I quickly turn around and march back down the city streets. Street lamps have come on and I notice that there are no longer many people out. The hair on the back of my neck stands on end.

I've always been a bit afraid of the dark ever since I was a child. As a child, I feared monsters lurked in the dark but now, I fear because uncertainty lurks in the dark. I can't see in the dark so I am unsure.

My heart becomes jittery in my chest and my pace quickens. The velvety shadows seem to be drawing closer and closer to me and soon, I will not be able to escape them because the sun will soon betray me.

Where are you going? Turn around! There's danger! My conscience screams at me. I become panicked, and I listen to my instincts and turn around.

I begin running. From what, I don't know.

But something is there.

Something is here.

And it's getting closer.

Closer.

Closer.

Closer.

I don't even have a chance to take one more full step when a blunt force collides with the back of my head.

My screams fall on deaf ears and I hit the ground as nausea attacks me. I start crawling on my hands and knees, desperately trying to get on my feet. It's hard to do so as everything is spinning.

Spinning.

Spinning.

Spinning.

I finally climb to my feet, stumbling a few steps only to be struck again. My body skids across the pavement and my heart pounds in my ears. I hear a scream and it takes me a moment to realize that it belongs to me.

"Damn it, woman, fucking sleep!" I barely register the words of an angry man with some sort of thick accent.

I'm flipped onto my back, and all I see is a man covered in the darkness that suffocates me. The toe of his boot collides with my temple, and my head painfully whips to the side and a groan of pain leaves me lips.

My eyes stare up in shock at the dark figure. Everything is hazy and spinning.

I take one last painful, labored breath before I am taken by the cover of darkness.

Perhaps my child self wasn't wrong.

Perhaps monsters really do lurk in the dark.