Chapter 67: Chapter 67

She looked and looked again. Her heart had stopped beating. She learnt tha whenever a man cries over a woman, she means alot to him. He loves her more than everything in his life. Could this be her position in Al-amin's life? Could she be this important that he had to cry over her? That too before her eyes.

Nonetheless, she looked at him with an unfathomable expression. She felt her hand being squeezed, and that's when she realized she had been staring deeply into him that she had probably set him ablaze.

She didn't talk, rather; she nodded her head slightly and fixed her gaze on their entwined hands. She couldn't look at his crying face without crying too.

"I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, nothing sort of mercy do I deserve from you. You've always said; I should hear you out, but not even for once did I do that, but today_you showed me your heart has nothing but goodness in it.

I don't know how to start, I'm not a wordy person; but that simple gesture you made, Aysha it's the best kindest gesture I've ever received in my life. I wanted to smile at you, but it felt as if the glands of my smiles were being held captive. I was showered with roses when your hand touched mine, it felt tingy, then spooky, and finally I relished on the warmth.

I know, you fought alot emotions in you before you walked over to me today. The Aysha I knew; she had cried nights before she decided she would forgive me. The Aysha I know, she had kept a book before; trying to as her fictional friends the right solution to make. The Aysha, she had dumped the book aside and did something crazy before she finally fought those roaring voices in her heard. That Aysha, I love her more than my life!"

They looked at eachother with the same emotions that speaks an unquenchable desire of their love. How it's flames kept lashing the strings of their hearts, it melted the pad of the cage they locked their hearts in.

She has tear in her eyes, her left hand placed on their already entwined hands. She was crying_finding it so hard to compose a single word. Al-amin might seem unromantic, but he's the most romantic guy she've ever met in her life. How he knew her that much, was something impeccable about their love.

"Did you know that, I wake up_there was also a feeling of seeing you on my bed, with only your nighties and your hair sprawled on my pillow. How you smile sleepily, while squinting your eyes and say 'Good morning, Babyyy' in your sleepy husky voice_their is a constant recorded voice and image of you that do that job; else, I wouldn't function for the day.

I always drool over you when you come down rushing, sometimes you have your breakfast and walk past me as if I'm some short of an invisible ghost. That hurts, but what kept me going was the illusion of you in my head. Our usual goodbyes before leaving for work. That lingering kiss and a soft kiss that could freeze a volcano. I felt them, always_and they kept me going.

I always leave my door open every time, so I could hear your laughter as you converse with your book's characters. Sometimes I get it recorded, but most of the time_my brain do the recording. Your voice when you talk with Meeno on phone, everything. I sometimes sets up a conversation with you on my head and it was like a therapy to ny rupturing heart.

I always look forward to coming back home so I can take a glimpse of you. I know we don't talk, but at some instance, I couldn't sleep until you do; so I could sneak into your room and spend more than an hour_just staring at you, while you sleep." Their eyes met, she was just deeply staring, nothing could be out from her mouth_it was her tears that do the talking.

He took her hand and placed it on the surface enclosing his heart_with his hand on top. "Feel it, Aysha_it has never stopped beating for you, not even for a second. Wallahi, not even a second passed without your immense love increasing in my heart that it scares me sometimes. Love is just a mere word, I would love to have a word that could really mirror the emotion that's always rupturing my heart because of you_and they sadly call it love.

Can I call it a volcano erupting from a mountain? Or the waves of an ocean that shoosh more than a thousand times with each passing second? Or may be, a garden full of voilet roses, that has no ending. I don't know, I'm nothing sort of a poet, whatever it may be_just know that this heart belongs you to."

With a smile, and tears_she outstretched her hand and began wiping away his streaming tears. He shook his head and took off her hand from his face. "I want to cry atleast half a bucket from the ocean of tears you shed. I want to feel the pain, to annihilate into pieces_just may be my whole shattered heart could match a single broken peice of yours. Let me cry, Aysha. Let me please."

What would she ask more? What kind of love has she not gotten? The kind of _Baby I always think about you today_? She've gotten even more than that. Or the kind of _Baby, I can't leave without you_? How they lived those months without being seperated was an enough evidence for them. Or the type _Baby, I alwahs drool over you?_ Mehn! She've gotten that and even more. Her husband cry over her! He sneak into her room and watch her while she's asleep_because he couldn't do that on days. He had her voice recorded in his brain, her picture everywhere in his soul. What's more to love than theirs?

"Here, feel something." That's the only things she could come up with. No matter the long essay she will do to him, Al-amin will never be joyful as he would, if she tells him she's pregnant.

She slowly placed her hand on hee now five months slightly protruded belly. His eyes crinkled in confusion, the tears were still streaming down_but she guessed they were more tears of confusion than pain. From his chest, she could vision his pouding heart, yearning the answer it needs to hear. She roamed through his eyes and found the question he couldn't try uttering with his mouth.

She smiled, a wide smile she've never had in almost six to seven months ago. She placed her hand on his, their eyes locked, as she uttered the words that almost made Al-amin choked up his dancing heart.

"I'm pregnant, Al-amin. Five months along." She've never been happy and proud uttering these words to anyone like she've did today. The love she has for her baby increased in depths_knowing she wasn't the only one loving it, his Pappy too.

A bone crushing hug with tears dripping on her back jolted her out of her little word of thoughts. She smiled, and closed her eyes_making more tears to slid onto his shoulder bone.

"Arub..." He whimpered and held her even tighter than before. He was crying so hard, from how his chest was reverberating on her chest. She rounded her hands around him and cried more_this time, she had the shoulder to lean, not just her pillow.

Reluctantly, he broke their hug and placed his hand more on her belly. "You know about this long ago, even I was being horrible to you_the thought of aborting the child of the heartless man didn't crossed your mind. You still nurtured my baby alone, took care of it without anyone by your side. The morning sickness, the cravings, the laziness, sl...." He couldn't complete his sentence, he broke into cries and palmed his face_his body shaking from his cries.

"I feel terrible. I'm horrible, Aysha. I've never treated you with the respect you deserved. Never gave you the love yku deserved. Nothing, only pain_which you didn't deserve." He was shaking his head and crying even harder, as he remisniced all the horrible things that happened five months ago, what he did to her_not knowing she was carrying his child in her.

She held his hand and made him sat on the bed next to her. She peeled off his hands from his face and started wiping away his tears from his face, as she shakes her head. "Listen, no more tears. You're the man here_the emotional moment is enough. I'm a pregnant woman, anything can trigger my pregnancy hormones. I can cry till morning if things goes on like this. Let's face reality. That's how we're destined to live_what can we do about it, Al-amin?" Her tears were urging to spill, but she held them back with so much power. She needs to be strong for her sentimental husband.

He opened his mouth to him when she shushed him. "Allah planned our lives even before we were born. Everything is in the lauhul mahfuz. Weren't you in Zaria Academy before you joined NTIC? Did you know the plan behind that? No. Had it been I didn't came out that afternoon the day Malam Abu Mukhtar called us for our exam's slips, would you have seen me? No. When you called Karaye, even if I answered, what if I choosed to never talked to you_because then, I made an avow about never talking to guys, but I broke that because of you. What if I held to my words? We didn't meet on our graduation day, had it been you weren't a son to Baba's friend, we could've just lost contact and that's the end of it. But we did met during Ya Husnah's wedding that? That's among the plans of Allah.

Think Al-amin. We broke up how many times? Had it been a heart wasn't the creation of Allah that could work perfectly even after being blemished, do you think I wouldn't have been dead by now? Those ignorings, unanswered phone calls, unreplied messages. The 'As you wish'and lots more I couldn't want to remisnice. Still, you became my husband. Isn't that the blessing of the almighty? For no matter how I wouldn't say it out_wallahi if it was someone else I got married to, I wouldn't have been pregnant by now, because even a hand of mine-I won't let him touch. For I've determined my mind that my soul and body was for you.

Many things, many think we can spend the night here and talk about. No matter what will happen, I still love my first tall handsome crush. The guy that befriend me and I found out he's an introvert. I still love him, the guy that broke my heart and mended it in each way he can, without even trying to. I still love him, with every fibre of my being. Our love was a work of Allah's order 'Kun. Fayakun'and it shall remain, just like the pen that wrote our love story. I'll forever love you, Al-amin, no matter how hard it might be."

He hugged her. He has no tears in his eyes. But she could clearly see his regret, guiltiness, lamentation, and all sort of feeling that slightly crucify our souls in a good way thou.

He looked up, bend slowly and pecked her stomach and landed a soft kiss on her forhead. "No words, Aysha, No words wallahi. I'm sorry."

"Wait, don't go there. My lips please!" She spoke in a slightly dramatic way, so she could stop him from breaking down again.

He looked puzzled, and she smiled. "Your lips nah, aren't they mine? I'm craving then!" His face lits up in excitement. He leaned in and they merged their lips into a sync like a hungry lion and lioness. So passionate, that she got afraid the bed beneath them wouldn't be set ablaze by the fire in them...