Chapter 56: Chapter 56

Ummi stared at him utterly shocked; her right palm placed on her cheek. She kept opening her mouth to talk but kept procrastinating. She doesn't know what she would utter; but all she knew is_____she needs to prove her instincts more. Does he really slapped her? That too because of Laila?

"Am I dreaming or is it real, Al-amin? Do you slapped me?" She inquired, her intense gaze was unshaken on his face.

He suddenly masked up his remorse feeling and looked at her directly in the eye. "Yes. And you have to be careful around me. You can't just be disobeying me in my house, you're my wife; learn how to be a respectful wife," he retaliated back in a tone laced with wrath, she couldn't point out any remorse in it.

Allah knows, if not because he's her husband; and she couldn't sleep with angels cursing on her; Only Allah would save Al-amin from her today. Nobody mess with her and go scot free. He should just thank Allah that he's her husband.

"You need to urgently thank Allah that you're my husband, else; you knew me so well to that I wouldn't have take it lightly if it was someone else," she spoke softly, yet; there was an unfathomable tone laced on her voice. She flashed him one more look that screamed hatred, disgust, and pain; before turning back to leave.

"You have to clean up this mess before leaving, Aysha," he declared, as if he didn't know the rebels that lies beneath her soul. And he's more than 100% sure that he had rose up those rebels.

She turned around with a sneer look on her face. So he foolishly think that even if it's Mama standing right before her she would ever clean this mess? Nobody in the world. And with nobody; she didn't exclude anyone; would ever make her clean this mess. Not in hundred years to come.

"Kaima kasan baka isa ba! Ko da kuwa kafi matsiya miji a wajena. (You knew so well that you don't have that right, even if you're more than a husband to me)." With that, she turned to her heels and walked off; not after flashing a triumphantly smiling Laila the 'it has just begun look'.

All he needed was to be in the confines of his room. His gesture would forever be tormenting him. Yes! He's angry with her, but how could he slap her because of Laila? It was a reflex action, he too didn't know he would slap her. But he's still angry with her.

He turned to leave too, when a warm hand with tears dripping on his wrist halted him. Turning around; his gaze fell on crying Laila, as her body was shaking silently.

"I'm so sorry please, Yaya. I made you slapped your wife, you shouldn't have; it's okay with me. I know it, I've been nothing but a betrayer to you. I broke your trust after gaining it with hardship. I broke your heart after rifting you apart with the one's you love dearly. I know you hate me more than before, all you could wish for right now is for me to leave your sight forever.

If I was given the chance to rewind back time; I wouldn't have let you go to that school in the first place. You were my everything before. My brother, best friend, and the love of my life. I fell in love with you when I didn't even know what love means, Al-amin. When I got to know; it loomed you were miles away from me, it took forever to heal from that pain, wallahi.

Destiny kept bringing us together. We went to school, but all you did was hating me, Yayah. I've cried countless times because of you. Sometimes I would just eavesdrop your conversation with her and wish it was me. You became my addiction, an Addiction that couldn't be forgotten easily.

Slowly, you started looking back at me with same affection in your eyes. You started taking care of me like years back. You started being that brotherly material to me. It was hard not to fall in love with you over again. I felt how it was to be in a requited love. It was so sweet and overwhelming. Trust me Yaya, it was the best feeling I've ever felt.

Things started dripting apart. The moments I don't want to reminisce. Things I would be regretting until my last breathe, things that changes me and my life completely. I was left with no-one to call mine. I was left with no choice than to feel worthless. I felt I deserve no reason to live. I've realized how it terribly it feels to be betrayed. Trust me Yaya, it wasn't a good feeling.

All it did was shattered my once beaming heart. My once glinting soul was emptied. The mind that was filled with joyous thoughts was filled with nebulous agonizing thoughts. It left my body empty. He left me Down hearted.

I've lost you. I've lost my self. I don't deserve to live. Not in this world. Forgive me, Yaya," she was crying profusely, all the pains beneath her heart were emptied in an enshrouded way; only her could point out her unvocalized pain in her heart, and she really meant her words.

Without hesitation, Al-amin engulfed her into his embrace. She was that his once loving sister. She meant everything to him. He didn't know what changed him. He wish he could bring back time too, these tears wouldn't have come out of his sister's eyes.

"It's okay Lily, don't cry this much please. You're still my sister, I don't hold a grudge on you anymore; you need to rest," he called her with the name he used to call her years back; claiming her name has to be Lily, not Laila.

Laila kept crying on his chest, she was voicing out the pain she had buried in her soul. It felt so good crying them out.

Al-amin guided her to her room, made her lay on the bed and draped the blanked over her body; with a smile on his lips. "You need to rest; Lily. Goodnight and don't cry or feel guilty again okay?" He bid her adieu and off the lights before walking out of the room with a jumbled mind and a bamboozled heart. He doesn't know what to feel, he doesn't know what to think of.

Meanwhile; Ummi was in her room, slumped on the bathroom's mere tiles; crying in anguish. She kept reminiscing the moment, she still couldn't believe that Al-amin could ever raise his voice at her in the presence of other people, talkess of slapping her.

He betrayed her trust once again. He broke her heart again. She would never trust him again, he was nothing into her life but pain. Where was the 'I love you'? Where was the 'you mean the world to me'? Where was the 'I would never hurt you'? Was he all joking? Was he beguiling her into his trap? Does this mean she was a fool to think he has really changed?

She felt her heart constricting, the pain couldn't be vocalised. Her eyes were tired of crying, they were swollen and red from all the tears. But the tears aren't enough to pour out the pain in her heart. She needs comfort, and wouldn't find it in anyone. For he is her only source of solace, he's the only person that could make her feel okay now. And he isn't here, he doesn't mind to apologize. Could that mean he loves Laila?

Letting out another wail, as more tears gushed out of her eyes. Ummi dragged her legs close to her chest and hugged them tightly; her nails dipping into her flesh, but what could she care for now? The pain in her heart is more agonizing than this. Just the mere thought of Al-amin loving Laila crushed her heart, leaving nothing but some pieces that couldn't be mended, they couldn't be recognized.

She dipped her head between her legs and began talking in an agonized tone. Only Allah knows how she's feeling in her heart, and he only could help ease her pain.

"Could this prove all those 'I love yous' Al-amin? Was this the kind of the love you have for me? Should I believe this or rewind back and make sure if it was you. You weren't like that before, I've never imagined you to be this cruel and heartless.

What of the 'I'll never hurt you'? Was that the joke of the 21st century? Was that to lure me into your trap? To beguile me into loving you once again. To beguile me into making you my source of happiness and solace. To beguile me into trusting you so much more than before.

I need solace, Al-amin; but I couldn't find it in everyone but you. I need a shoulder to cry on, but my body needs only your warmth. I want to confide in someone, but my heart only believes in your ears. Should I just obfuscate my pain? Should I let it die deep beneath my soul? Crushing me with each breathe I take? It wasn't easy before, and it isn't easy uptil now. I was used to pain, but not as painful as this, Al-amin.

Do you have a slight feeling that this would hurt me? Do you know how it hurts to see you with her? Just the thought of you together with her suffocates me, I feel like dying. Couldn't you make my last days of happiness in this world worth living? For I knew the moment you married her; I wouldn't be happy again.

You didn't promise a bed full of roses to me, but I expected a life full of peace and love. You didn't promise me an unshaken love, but I expected a forever cherishable love. You didn't promise that I would never cry, but I expected a life full of laughter and smile. Indeed, we create our heart breaks through expectations. Had it been I braced myself, it wouldn't have been this painful, Al-amin. It wouldn't have....," and she fell into another series of tears. She still couldn't come to the fact that Al-amin slapped her. Al-amin feels disgusted with her. All her world was crashing down slowly and gradually.

She didn't know the hours she spent in the bathroom crying out; until she felt the tears aren't coming out anymore. She felt the energy to breath itself had been drained from her unstoppable tears. She dragged her broken figure out of the bathroom and changed into a baggy T-shirt with a loose three quarter before slumping on her bed______closing her eyes, not that she can sleep, but to help revive the life of her eyes.

A sleep full of scary dreams engulfed her. She had been crying in her dreams, the pain in her heart didn't subside for even a minute, nor the tears from her eyes. She learnt that sleep always takes away your pains and worries; but in her case, it brought new agony into her life.

***

Ummi would've beem shocked if told that she was the one that survived two weeks full of pain and tears. All she had been doing was going to work and come back. She hadn't even crossed path with Al-amin; but could only hear his laughter from her room when playing or gisting with Laila.

Every morning; she would see him handsomely sitted on the dining table, as Laila served him his breakfast_____whilst gisting with her fascinatingly, as they reminisce their childhood memories. She would always cry herself to work. Asiya got tired of asking her and could only try to make her forget her worries.

Each time, her heart ponders when the thought of going home crosses her mind. It's the last thing she wants to do. For the sight of them together crumbles her eyesight, all those optic nerves seems to be drained out of circulated blood. And going back to Mama's house was the last thing to think of; for she couldn't just disappoint them when she is just 5 months into the marriage.

She wiped away her tears and hopped out of her car, clutching more onto her bag as her gaze fell on unfamiliar shoes in front of the entrace door. Thinking she might had a guest, she went over and splashed some water on her face in the balcony before entering the house with a factitous smile on her chapped and dry lips, a happy gleam on her empty and pale eyes.

"Assalamu Alaikum," her heart literally raced to her throat before fixating back into it's position______when her gaze fell on forever fiesty Hajia, whom was sitted on the sofa; Laila's head resting on her laps.

"Good evening, Hajia," she greeted, squating down. As a part in her was pounding, she doesn't want any problem now, she's sick and tired of life itself.

"Here comes the queen of the house, whom was just eating away groceries without producing something to be proud of," Hajia said sarcastically, glaring at Ummi that was still squating down.

She stood up and looked at Hajia "I'll go to my room, Hajia," she informed out of respect and turned to leave; when Hajia's taunt halted her.

"That's always how it would be. There would be no one to welcome you back home; since you haven't even miss a single period talkless of conceiving. Oopss; so stupid of me to think you would give birth, the ovarian eggs had been washed away by some other men since at home. "

Her heart pounded, eyes swelling up with tears; as she calculated her months in this house, to check wether she isn't mistaking. It was only five months! And here; Hajia is talking about not concieving, what the hell is wrong with this old woman for god sake?!

Crest fallen, she turned and looked at Hajia; with her tears glistened eyes. "I'm sorry Hajia if you would feel offended; but it was just five months since we got married, not even upto a year. And please I need a favour from you, do stop accusing me of something I've never did before," she whimpered, her voice breaking with each word she uttered. It's just too much to presevere. Could she even do this?

"You have to say that; who knows wether you've turned down the womb so you could not concieve? Prostitution wouldn't be nice if you can concieve for every piece of a man. I think I have to make this wedding closer, I really can't wait to have a decent and pure wife for Aminu," she tattled again, her voice echoing through the confines of the wall; as she kept flashing her a look full of hatred.

Ummi couldn't take it anymore; they should do all they can for all she cares. She had lost her Al-amin weeks ago. She has come to the fact that he loves Laila. She knew her life would be a living hell when they both get married.

She turned and looked at Hajia, just when her tears decided to roll down her cheeks. Sniffling in an attempt to blink back the tears, Ummi turned and walk away. She was close to the veranda containing their rooms when she halted in her tracks, as her gaze fell on Al-amin; whom held a devoid expression on his face, his hands crossed over his chest, as his gaze was unshaken on her crying face.

Yanking off her eyes from him with aplomb, Ummi tried walk passing him but got her way blocked. She looked up her tearing eyes and flashed him a disgusted look; a look full of hatred.

"I'm sorry for that; Haija's talks shouldn't be bothering you please," he apologized, but there wasn't an iota of empathy on his tone, or a remorseful expression on his face.

'It's only Hajia's talks You're sorry for. Accusing me of something I've never did, you weren't sorry for it. Not giving me listening ears after begging you to, you weren't sorry for it. Slapping me because of your cousin whom claims to love you, you weren't sorry for it. Ignoring me for a two weeks, you weren't sorry for it. Publicly displaying your attention towards her, you weren't sorry for it. Only Hajia' talks matters to you?' She wanted to yell at him at the pitch of her voice, she wanted to vent her anger and pain on him_____but realizing he isn't worth hearing her voice nor wasting her time on him, she looked at him with a sturdy expression.

"Can I have my way please?" She spoke through gritted teeth. It was only Allah that was stopping her from strangling his throat right now!

"Not until after you clean off these tears," he spoke adamantly, not taking his eyes off her.

She looked back and saw Hajia's eyes and Laila's were fixated on them. So that explained the sudden show of affection. She felt useless. "Stop the crap of publicly displaying of fake affection!" She roared for only his hearing and hissed; before manoeuvring a space beside him and walked off_____living him rooted to his spot.

She entered her room and curled herself on her bed, crying painfully, she doesn't know how to vent out this pain. She needs someone that truly cares. As the thought of calling Meeno came to her mind; her phone started vibrating in her bag; for she doesn't want any sound around her______her hammering heart is enough for her.

"Meeno am," she tried all she can to sound happy and normal, but she's sure Meeno would find out that she isn't fine.

"Aishata," Meeno beamed, she was possibly happy to notice her bestfriend's sombre voice. "We're starting the wedding events on Wednesday; and it's Monday already. Won't you come please? And don't tell me you're staying in Kaduna, I need you here please," Meeno whined over the phone.

Ummi gasped, her eyes widening with shock. So it has came huh? The wedding she had literay been planning upandan; but the vibe in her had already vanished. "Meeno, I have no idea wallahi, got stuck with work amd what not. I'll try and be there tomorrow; but I'll have to go and see Mama before coming to Katsina. Oh my god! How's the wedding preps going on? What a bad bestfriend I am," she rambled in one breathe, but there was a tone of enthusiasm needed in her voice for her to sound as normal as always______but she couldn't come up to feign that.

"Hey! It's okay uno? I'll wait for you; some things has to be done with you here. Wedding aside, what's wrong with you? And don't you dare say you're okay, because you are not!" Meeno asked, her motherly tone taking over the friendly one.

Ummi squirmed in her position and felt more tears coming out of her eyes. "It couldn't be discussed over the phone; Meeno. I'll be there as early as possible, so we could talk about it," she informed, finding it so hard to fight back her tears.

Meeno consoled her for sometime before they ended the call. Ummi entered the bathroom and bathe. She prayed and folded the prayer mat and her hijab; she needs to eat something, she had been literally starving herself for the past two weeks now.

"I have to talk to Al-amin about Meeno's wedding," she hushed, palming her red face, as she closed her bloodshot eyes.

After the contemplations, she finally decided to go and tell him about it; for she wouldn't have the chance to go without him knowing. She was walking down the staircases, but her mind was absent from the real world; but in her own world.

Their giggles and laughter brought her back from her trance; the gaze before her wasn't a sight worth seeing, it was a sight capable of crushing the remaining pieces of her heart, her bloodshot eyes could start bleeding due to this terrifying sight, her ears got deafened with their laughters and giggles, whilst her lungs tends to forget how the word 'Respiration' works like.