Chapter 37: Chapter 37

Life is the amalgam of happiness and sadness, it's coalesced with joy and sorrow, it's a mixture of peace and agitation, it's ebbing with placidity and turbulence.

I believed in love, after promising not to fall again. I fell in love, after putting all the necessary barriers in my heart. I was enshrouded in a fake love, after all the struggles of been shrewd. I was beguiled, claiming I'll always fathom between real love and an enshroud.

Why could'nt I be strong again? Why could'nt I be sturdy again? Why could'nt I be feelingless again? Why always clinging to those who doesn't know my worth? I'm worth more than this!

From today onward, I'll bring back the rude and arrogant me, the shrewd and sturdy me, the carefree and jovial me. I won't let any guy beguile me, Not again!

I believed in Al-amin, loved him, thought he was the one. I was wrong, it was all an enshroud.

Today marks the beginning of new Aysha!.

She finished writing with a sigh, promising herself to be strong, a guy can't control her heart, she has to be strong.

She rest her head on the coach, scrutinizing her boys to be called room, as Yaya Husna always says. Her mini bed, carefully layed with a dark purple bedsheet, at the left corner was her mirror; a powder, lipbalm, kohl, lotions and perfumes were carefully arranged on it. Her gaze fall on her toilet's door, which is the first thing in her room; by the right side.

She heaved, and trudged to the bathroom, performed her ablution and exit. She prayed two nawafils, prayed to Azza wa jallah to give her the strength, to erase her all her worries, to make her heart at ease.

She switched off the light, flop on her bed, and kept reminiscing what Al-amin did to her. How cruel of him.

She has to travel, as it's among her hobbies. Apart from reading, exploring, she loves traveling.

She made up her mind, she'll visit Ummy at Kano, when she finish her exams.

***

Life had been going smoothly between the three lovers, Laila always secretly went out with Laith. For Al-amin, he had forgot about Ummi, but the guiltiness was still gnawing at him. He promised to apologize when they're back.

Sitted on a long bench, under a tree shade, giving a perfect view of the center of Brown University, was Laith and Laila, their hands entwined in each other. Students were roaming around, everyone doing his activity.

She looked up slowly, she always want to tell him, but she's procrastinating. As she had now started falling for him, she don't want to ruin their precious moment. She knew what she'll say will ruin his mood, but it's better to say it out. The sooner, the better. "L, we are going back to Nigeria in a week time. We're all finishing our exams in four days."

His mood abruptly changed, he tightened his hold on her hand. Talking about Nigeria always make bad memories flashed in his mind. "Don't you think it's soon L? Or do you want to leave me? Aren't you going to miss me?"

"I'm surely going to miss you L, why should'nt I? Our family are missing us, that's why," saying the word 'Family' made something flashed in his mind. He too once had his family.

"I'm going to miss you L," he said, trying to hug her. She was taken aback with a full force, they were all starled.

Seeing a frustrated Al-amin, grisping Laila shoulder, baffled them. How does he know they were here? They always makes sure he was out of sight. "Could'nt it be better if you tell him we're planning on getting married once we go back?" Al-amin said, through gritted teeth, sending hurtful glare to Laith.

Laith was humbugged, he could'nt believe what he heard, are they really getting married? He was jolted out of his reverie by a tap on his shoulder, it was Walsh. His one and only friend, the only person that withstand his attitudeds.

He realized they'd left since, without uttering a single word, he glumly truged to the bus stop. He need to do something. Now!

The cab halted in front of the female's dormitory. He came out of the cab, look at her, a hurtfull expression plastered on his face. "We're leaving in four days," he uttered, and left. Leaving her there like a statue, tears cascading down fron her eyes. She regretted her acts, she wished Al-amin will trust her. One more time.

***

It was a bright morning, wind blewing softly, birds chirping, as Ummi slowly squinted her eyes, murmuring the waking up supplications.

She sauntered to the bathroom, took her bath, dressed and advanced to the dinning area, to have her breakfast.

"Good morning, Mama," she greeted and flopped beside Mama, resting her head on Mama's shoulder. Mama patted her head affectionately, her eyes still glued on the television.

There was a deathly hush, she fixed her gaze on the plasma TV placed on the wall, in center of the parlour, black huge speakers beside it at both sides, a red and black TV stand supporting the TV, as a red flower vase was beautifully placed at the left side of the TV stand.

"Go and have your breakfast, Ummi, don't you have lectures?" Mama turned and look at her, carefully scrutinizing her face. A glint of sadness is glinted in her eyes, albeit she's trying so hard to suppress it with happiness.

Ummi looked up and shook her head, "Yes Mama, I'm going now," she said and stood up.

Mama gave her a disbelieving look, the you're not serious look, "Go and have your breakfast Ummi, you're not leaving until you have your breakfast," Mama sterned, and yawed her gaze to the television. Ummi knew not to disobey, that look on Mama's face says it all. She has no choice than to oblige.

She hurriedly had her breakfast and left, "Mama, we'll talk when I'm back," she yelled and closed the door.

Mama muttered an 'okay', she knew Ummi is not fine, something is bothering her, she had been observing her four months back. She had always been glum and ruminative, she sometimes nabbed her coiled up, crying her life out in her room, or spend some hours writing in her diary. She wished she's ready to open up now, holding it in will only worsen her feelings.

***

Miss Eliza and Laith were siitted on the edge of her big queen sized bed, her hands in his, tears cascading down from his eyes. He looked up and see the worried face of his mother, tears glinting her eyes, he felt his anger increased, he's frustrated.

He tighten the hold of her hand, look directly into her eyes "Mom, you don't deserve all this, I'm surely going to be okay. You don't have to worry, not again Mom!

You supposed to live a happily life, prove those idiots wrong, you're worth more. I'll be okay. I know she loves me, he's forcing her into this, believe me Mom. She's mine, and will never be his!" He sterned angrily, clearing the unshed tears of his Mother.

Miss Eliza smiled ruefully, she don't want her son to be broken, she does'nt want him to live a depressed life as she lived, she doesn't want him to feel the pain of loosing loved ones as she felt. He had too much.

"I don't want you to attach someone into your life, the person that you'll never get, Laith. It doesn't matters wether she was forced into the marriage, you can't change anything, you know how Nigerians can be cruel. Don't embroil yourself, Laith," just the mention of 'Nigeria' made the pain in her rivived, it felt afresh. It has been years, but nothing changed in what she has been feeling. The feeling of losing a loved one, is unvoiced.

He felt the pain in his mother's words, he knew she had been acting strong, he knew the pain is still in her heart, he has to prove those cruel people wrong. He must surely live happily, to hell with them.

Without uttering a single word, he stood up and leave, leaving a confused Miss Eliza behind. She knew her son was feelingless, he swore not to fall in love, as he believed love only hurts. Why did his heart betrayed him? Why would it have to fall in love? With a Nigerian, as abruptly as this.

At this kinds of situations, she badly miss Alhaji Mubarak, her first and forever love. The person she wished to spend her whole life with, but god has his plans too. She knew Laith was just acting strong, but he also missed his father too. How badly she wished he is alive.

Miss Eliza almost spent 1 hour, ruminative. She doesn't know she had spent that time thinking, until Laith takes her hands, guiding her to parlour. The structure she saw, sitted on the first sofa baffled her.

She looked at him, with a questionable glare, he nodded his head; emanating I'll answer your questions later.

With a wide grin, she hugged Laila, "Welcome my daughter, feel free," she said, sitting beside her, taking her hands in her's.

Laila muttered a 'Thank you', almost inaudible, the woman is too much for her likings. She didn't expect to see this warm hearted woman as his mother.

Miss Eliza brought her the refreshments, as they silently say their pleasantries. Laith bumbled in his sit, spikily looking at his mother, she gestured for him to go on.

"Laila, this is my mother, she'd already know what's happening," he uttered, looking straight into her eyes.

Laila can't utter a single word, she kept on fumbling with her veil hem, fiddling with her fingers. She doesn't have the words to tell them, she can't lie to them, his mother is way too much for that.

As Miss Eliza realized how uneasy she's feeling, she took her hands, messaging them a little "Don't worry my daughter, tell us whatever it is. We'll be shrewd. Tell us the truth please, it will be much better than to break my son's heart. He means the world to me, he's my only source of happines. Don't break my son's heart, please," Miss Eliza said, her voice cracking. Laila does'nt miss the unspoken pain in Miss Eliza's words. How can she do this to him, after all his mother's plea. She's not heartless.

She message Miss Eliza's palms reasurringly, smiling fleetingly. She shifted her gaze on Laith, giving him I want to leave look. She does'nt trust her words anymore.

They both stood uo to leave, before Miss Eliza's voice halted then "won't I hear the voice of my not sure to be daughter inlaw?" She teased, smiling warmly.

Laila smiled coyly and hung her head low "Thank you Mom. Goodbye," she muttered and hurriedly sauntered of the parlour.

Laith met her at the gate, smiling mischieviously, she smacked his shoulder playfully. Together they prowled out of the house.

***

Ummi entered Mama's living, which was decorated with dark purple and ash. The sofa's were neatly arranged in a circle, ash carpet carefully layed in the middle, a tray of beautifully carved oval spaced balls on the center table. The console, which gives the full definition of someones face when entered was carefully attached to the wall, opposite the door. The black Tv stand, supporting the recievers and DVD's on it, a flat big screened plasma TV above. Speakers, standing air conditioner, and a big flower vase were neatly place on both sides. The flowered stickers, and wallpaper, giving the parlour the definition of awesome.

She prowled to Mama's room, spotted her on a coach, using her laptop. She flopped beside her, taking her legs and started messaging them. "Mama I want to go to Kano for my holidays, please Mama," she make a puppy face.

Mama scrutinized her face for a while, heaved a sigh "Tell me what's wrong with you Ummi, you have been acting weird. What's bothering you?" Mama gave her the motherly look, assuring her to open up.

"Mama nothing is bothering me, I just want to visit Ummy, as I promised. Believe me Mama," Ummi feigned a grin, swaying Mama's hand playfully.

After so much probings and beseeching's, Mama finally agreed on Ummi's trip, but only if Baba agrees. Which he will surely do, if she tell him. Ummi left to her room with a grin plastered on her lips, she'll atleast have some fresh air.

***

FIVE DAYS LATER.

Ummi and Azeezah prowled out of their examination hall, it was their last paper, she was overjoyed. Her bags were already packed, she'll leave on Friday. Two more days to go.

They bid their goodbyes, she entered the car, as she's now an amatuer. Mama hardly leave her to drive by herself. After so much beseechings.

She was laughing at something that Azeezah told her, didn't noticed the structures crossing the road, she almost bump on the last person.

"Innalillahi," she muttered and quickly come out of the car, as sweat has already formed on her forehead. This is what Mama was afraid of.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't saw you guys were coming," she lamented. The guy flashed her a smile "It's nothing Aysha, we were looking for you," he said, smiling widely.

"OMG! Nasir, don't tell me you're also in this school? I've never see you," she said, totally not aware of the guy beside Nasir, who was looking at her without an eyeblink.

They said they pleasantries, she was about to leave, when Nasir nudged his shoulder "Aysha," he said, his lips tremulous.

She halted, her heart frenzed, the voice she'll never forget, but how did he come here? OMG! How much she missed this voice. Let him know your worth! Her inner conscience scolds.

Her expression abruptly changed, her smike vanished, her happiness turned into sadness. She looked at him, disgustfully. "Aysha, I'm so...."

The sound of the hiss she made, halted him, he could'nt believe it. "Mtswwwwwwww" she hissed again, entered her car and zoomed off.

"You see what you caused?" Nasir shot him a disgusting glare.

"I just want to apologize, why can't she listen to me?" He asked sombrely, coarcely looking at the people around them. Whom where there, since when the accident likely happened.

"You caused it yourself. That's what you get for not being loyal," Nasir said, patted his shoulder friendly. Without uttering a word, Al-amin sombrely left.