Chapter 41: Chapter 41

Something still bothered Adrian even though he said everything was fine. Why am I overreacting to the point of crying when he doesn't want to share what the problem is? I couldn't go around making him share what the problem was when he didn't want to. He was a mobster, and trouble sure as hell came to him. I wasn't there for him either, but his life could go just fine. Then why am I now going overboard just because I'm curious?

We finally arrived at the cemetery. The thicker I felt Adrian's mood change. I could feel a dark aura enveloping his expression. He was like a light that suddenly went out. That made me hold his hand; together we headed to the graves of his parents.

I found Adrian's parents' graves not too far from Selena's, but he had never taken me there before, but to Selena's. At first I was curious about the reason, but when I saw Adrian was devastated when he was at his parents' graves, I understood. He wept bitterly, expressing all his longing. I couldn't stop thinking how he survived this long without a parental figure.

Imagine life without a mother's love. That really sounds terrible to me.

I could only rub Adrian's shoulder. There was nothing I could say. I understood what he needed was someone to keep him company. I knew there must had been a lot of grief like this before I came into his life, but I just wanted to show him that now he had me. I would always be there for him, so he no longer had to feel like he had to go through anything alone.

After a few minutes passed, Adrian was still not okay. He slowly leaned his head on my shoulder. I ran my fingers through his hair gently, hoping it would at least help calm him down. There was not much I could do other than that.

"Living a life without my parents wasn't easy. As a child, I used to feel jealous when I saw my peers being brought lunch by their mother. I also often saw my peers learning to play soccer with their fathers. Over time I got used to seeing that, and learned to be grateful that my grandfather was still there to take care of me."

I just listened, not wanting to interrupt what Adrian was going to say next.

"My grandfather replaced two people at once for me, being both father and mother at the same time. He taught me to be the ideal man, like my father he said." Adrian chuckled softly, remembering his grandfather's words.

I smiled seeing Adrian's mood seemed to improve. He stared deep into the past then resumed his story. "Even though I haven't been able to become the man my grandfather always wanted me to be, he still believes in me. I'm so lucky to have him in my life, just as lucky as I am to be with you right now. You are an added bonus from God for me,"

"I love you," I said, kissing his lips briefly. "I don't know how I would be without you, Adrian."

Adrian smiled with gentle eyes looking at me closely. But his smile slowly faded. I thought that sweet smile would last a little longer, but it turned out that something that bothered him came back to haunt him. I started to feel him getting distant again.

"I'm starting to feel you drifting away again, Adrian. I'm tired of your sudden change in attitude. Not because I'm tired of dealing with it, but I'm tired of just being silent without being able to help you one bit. You have to tell me what really happened, so I don't just sit there and think too much without helping at all like there's no use at all as a girlfriend."

My words this time seemed to have a different effect on Adrian. He took my words seriously, because his next reply was unlike any before.

"Are you sure you want to know, Mabel? There's so much going on in my head and I can't find a way out of it. Nothing can help as long as it's in my head, I can't escape."

That sounded bitter to my ears, but even more bitter was the fact that his words implied that I couldn't help him with that at all.

"There's a secret I've been keeping from you, and it scares me. I'm afraid you'll find out and soon you'll lose your trust in me," Adrian continued, in a resigned tone.

What had Adrian done that I would no longer trust him after I found out? His words scared me.

Without further ado, my lips released the question. "What have you done, Adrian?"

Adrian didn't answer me. There was no reaction from him. He looked helpless after the question left my mouth. I knew I was starting to sound like I didn't trust him anymore the second I asked the question.

"I promise you, Mabel. When the time is right, I will tell you everything. I promise I will tell you, but please give me time to have the courage to do that. Because right now I'm really feeling at my lowest point. I feel like I failed to be the man my grandfather wanted me to be, and failed to be a good lover for you."

I sighed. "Fine, I don't mind waiting. But Adrian, don't ever say you failed to be a good lover for me. If this is still about some bullshit I lost my happiness because of my problems with Ashton, then to hell with it. I don't want to hear it anymore, because all I know is that I'm still as happy as ever especially when I have you by my side."

Adrian just shook his head, clearly denying all the sincere words from my heart just now. What's wrong with him? I was about to complain, but he quickly stood up. "We'd better head to Selena's grave now, it's no good keeping her waiting."

"Wait, no, Adrian!"

Adrian hadn't changed since I first knew him; always ran away from the problem every time I tried to give or question the solution.

"Adrian!" I called when Adrian led the way in front of me to Selena's grave. He kept walking, ignoring me. "Are you seriously going to ignore me all day? Tomorrow is our engagement day and you are behaving like this. Then what should I do? What is your problem?" I snapped when I felt my patience running thin like a tissue.

"That's the problem, Mabel!" Adrian snapped back which made my guts shrink. I took a step back, afraid of this different side of him. "Oh my God, Mabel. I'm sorry,"

For a moment we were both overcome with emotion until we forgot we were both in the middle of a cemetery.

I shook my head, still not understanding exactly what was wrong. "You don't want our engagement? Have you changed your mind about wanting to marry me? Was everything just a game for you, Adrian? After what we've been through together, you changed your mind that quickly?"

"For God's sake, Mabel. Don't jump to conclusions from your own perspective!" Adrian groaned as he messed his hair.

"I didn't, but with you behaving like this, how could I not reach my own conclusion?" I stood up, leaving Adrian alone. My patience was running out. I felt tired like it never ended. He followed closely behind and kept asking me to stop. I convinced myself not to stop let alone look back, other than just keep walking away from him.

"Mabel, please stop. At least let's talk again,"

I was tired of talking and talking without any real clarity.

"Mabel!" Adrian was starting to sound tired of my behavior. "Where are you going?"

"I want to go home. You'd better take me back home or I'll have to make it my way to bring me back home!" I threatened afterwards. I thought Adrian would stop me from going, but apparently that was just my expectation. He immediately agreed and walked me to his car. We hadn't even gotten to Selena's grave yet, but he did nothing to keep me there for a while.

All the way home Adrian did not say anything to quell my anger. I wanted to cry so badly, but I held it in, because that would embarrass me a second time on the same day. Are we really going to act like this to each other when tomorrow is our engagement day? Seemed like I was the only one who cared about that. On the other hand, Adrian looked indifferent when I discussed about our engagement.

Adrian drove me home, said that he loved me, then his car just drove away from my residence. I was completely confused, frustrated, and worried by his attitude. He didn't show any concern at all. If he had been cold and distant to me before, I would admit it was worse this time.

I went inside in a gloomy mood. Luckily the mansion was quiet; I didn't know where everyone was. Thinking nothing of it, I heard giggling from the kitchen. It sounded like a woman was laughing at a joke a man had told her. I was curious and thoughtlessly went to check.

I gasped right in the kitchen doorway. The sound came from Rainy and Anthonio's laughter. "What the hell is this?" I snapped for a moment my brain went straight to Ashton. Rainy was really petty. She asked me to get Ashton to forgive her, but she made the same mistake again.

Rainy and Anthonio simultaneously turned to me. Both of them looked surprised to find me.

"What are you doing in my family's mansion, Anthonio?" I didn't care who Anthonio anymore. My anger that day finally exploded; I couldn't control it. "Who gave you permission to come in here?"

"Me," Rainy replied while taking a step forward towards where I was standing. "I did it,"

I narrowed my eyes at Rainy, indicating bravely that I didn't like her doing that. There was one thing I started to learn after the big incident that night; I knew her true nature. "Who are you to do that?"

"I'm allowed to do that too, Mabel. Have you forgotten who I am? I'm also your father's daughter," challenged Rainy who instead sounded like she needed recognition.

"Last time I checked, Sarah hasn't officially become my father's wife." I confidently dismissed Rainy's statement just now. Don't get me wrong, Sarah had nothing to do with our fight and she was a really nice woman, but I wasn't satisfied before seeing Rainy's face fall.

"Then let me correct what I said earlier, I will soon become your father's daughter. It's only a matter of time and tadaaa, I also have the right to this mansion." Rainy replied with an annoying expression.

I didn't want to be the same Mabel anymore. Enough was enough. Everything tired me. "But now that hasn't happened, so you have to obey what I say."

My commanding words made Rainy furious. I could see her forehead creased. She wanted to argue with me some more, but checkmated, no words to refute what I said.

"Okay," Rainy nodded, pretending to agree with me. "I'm going to get Anthonio out of here, but Mabel, that doesn't mean I did it on your orders. I only did it because I felt sorry for you. Do you want to know a secret? My personal secret,"

I said nothing, but flabbergasted by Rainy's words. My feelings started to mix with worry.

"Rainy, just drop the topic." retorted Anthonio.

"No, Anthonio. This is the perfect time for Mabel to know. I don't want to be the only one hurting anyway. I've had enough of yesterday. Now I want her to feel the same way," Rainy smiled contentedly. "I'm sure Mabel herself wants to hear it, especially when it's about Adrian."