Chapter 39: Chapter 39

So this is the end of my friendship with Ashton? All this time I hid my feelings from him just because I didn't want to ruin our friendship, but apparently he also harbored the same feelings and didn't dare to take action to cross boundaries. I never thought it would end like this. What should I feel? Glad that my feelings for him weren't one-sided? I should have felt that way, but things had changed. Everything was not the same as before, and I couldn't possibly go back to that starting place.

If only the old Mabel had known about this fact earlier, surely some things would not have gotten this complicated, and she would have been immensely pleased to know. She would also have known that her repeated heartbreaks were worth it, due to the fact that the man she liked liked her too.

I closed my eyes thinking about how Ashton could be as good as me at hiding his feelings. How could I not realize it when I always felt like I knew the most about him? Now I doubted my previous thoughts, who thought I knew him best, knew what was on his mind, knew what his heart wanted, knew what action he would take, and I even concluded that he had never seen me as more than a friend since childhood. How crazy was the fact that I had mistakenly believed all of that when I didn't even know a thing about him.

My love for Ashton was never one-sided, it was just our fault for not having the courage to take action on it and kept playing in the same cycle; pretending to be friends just to keep our friendship okay, solely so that we could continue to be together. I never wanted to lose him, so I put my own feelings aside. I always wanted Ashton to be happy wherever, whenever, whoever he ended up with. It never crossed my mind that I would lose him because of that thought. I let him slip from my fingers when there really was a chance for me to hold him from leaving.

I opened my eyes again, looked at the ceiling in deep thought. Since childhood, I had always been curious about endings, from the novels I read, the series I watched, even the games I played. And now I got the ending of my own love story. My long love story from childhood, youth, to adulthood. My first love, Ashton Valley.

... We were just meant to be just friends from the start.

"Mabel?"

I looked at the door when it opened, Adrian came in carrying a tray of warm milk. I looked at him with a smile as he walked towards me. My love boat had anchored, and the harbor was Adrian Moretti. A mafia leader feared in city, a man I never expected I would love. He was far from the image of the man I once aspired to marry; he wasn't my fairytale prince, but my bad boy fairytale.

I immediately sat down facing Adrian. He then gave me a glass of the milk. "The others are already on their way home?"

"Yeah," answered Adrian briefly. He sat beside me silently. I wondered what was on his mind. He looked tired.

That night's events were beyond my expectations and control, I needed time to process everything properly and carefully. I didn't want to hurt anyone, Adrian, Ashton, including Rainy. I didn't even know how to get out of feeling guilty about what happened.

I drank the glass of milk slowly, waiting for Adrian to at least say something or just ask how I was, but he just kept quiet and lost in his own thoughts.

"Is there something wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," Adrian replied. I thought he wasn't even paying attention to his surroundings, but he heard my question. "I have prepared our departure to go home,"

I nodded then placed the empty glass on the nightstand. "We're going to visit Selena and your parents' graves, right?"

Adrian just nodded. He was quieter than usual days.

"I'm sure that if nothing went wrong, the look on your face wouldn't look like it does now." I knew it sounded like I was forcing Adrian to spill his thoughts, but that's exactly what I did.

"I just can't stop thinking about you. I want the best for you, Mabel. I want you to be happy as long as I'm by your side, but there are times when I feel like I can't protect you from what I should be able to prevent. And it causes you to lose that happiness,"

I didn't understand why Adrian thought like that. Why should my happiness be his responsibility too? It should be my own responsibility. I rarely even thought about my own happiness; what I wanted or what I didn't want. The man next to me was really sweet, didn't describe a mafia at all.

"What makes you think I've lost my happiness? I'm happy, Adrian."

"You lost your childhood best friend," Adrian said with an expression I couldn't fathom. He looked fine saying that, but the look in his eyes told another story. I knew it was hard for him to accept Ashton around me, but I was amazed by how he still thought about how I felt losing my only childhood friend.

"That's not the answer I expected you to give me," I replied in almost a whisper. "But thanks for thinking about how I feel. But really, Adrian, I'm okay about that. Me and Ashton just need time to get through all of this, then things will get back to the way they were before."

Adrian just stared at me, searching for the truth in what I was saying.

"Really, this isn't the first fight between me and Ashton-"

"But this is the biggest," interrupted Adrian.

"That-" I didn't know what to say, knowing Adrian's words were too true for me to deny. After he and Rainy came into Ashton's and mine's lives, we were no longer the same. The fight between us was so irresistible.

"Cat got your tongue? I see," Adrian said, humming afterward. "Look Mabel, you don't have to worry about what I think of you and Ashton. I believe you have fully given your love just for me, he's just your past. But I hate this situation, a situation where I know you're not happy because you feel distant from him and I'm still selfish enough to want you just for me."

"If that's the case, I know what I have to do." I answered with a smile.

Adrian shook his head, clearly showing his disagreement with what he had just heard. "You're clearly not taking this seriously, Mabel. I'm being completely serious right now,"

I chuckled while observing Adrian's expression which slowly changed when he found me chuckling instead. I didn't know since when, my feelings for him grew. I no longer knew how my life would be without him. He was the one who had saved me from the burden on my chest. I healed from every wound when he came into my life.

I could no longer hold myself back from hugging Adrian right then and there, so I immediately grabbed his body into my arms. "I really, really love you!" He hugged me back, but still didn't say anything. Again, I was wondering what he was thinking seeing my strange behavior, so I quickly continued speaking. "I said I love you!"

Adrian was still silent. That made me release my arms to look at him, but he immediately pulled me back into his arms. "I love you too,"

"That's what I wanted to hear," I whined. "I thought you had lost your interest in me,"

"That will never happen, even millions of years later if I'm still alive, I will still continue to love you."

I smiled to find Adrian's romantic answer. I loved it when we had moments to talk to each other and enjoyed what we had together. "Then what are we waiting for? We also have to go back home. We have a lot to do before our engagement day,"

After that everything went fast without my noticing. We went home and as I thought things would not be the same between me and Rainy. Ashton even somewhere, I never saw him again after coming back. I spent more time with Adrian. It was fun and made me forget about my problems.

"So you're going out again today with Adrian?" Sarah asked as she approached me. Tomorrow was her wedding day and also my engagement day, we should both be smiling, but the look on our face showed something else. A forced smile couldn't look as beautiful as it appeared sincere.

I nodded to Sarah as I took my sling bag.

"I already know what happened between you and Rainy," explained Sarah who stopped me from walking away. "I don't want you two to continue to act cold like an enemy. For God's sake, you two will officially become sisters soon. Do you two have to act like this when approaching my marriage?"

"I'm really sorry from the bottom of my heart, Sarah. This is all my fault,"

Sarah showed a look of curiosity mixed with worry. "I knew from the start that something wasn't going well between you, Ashton, and Rainy. And my guess was right, right?"

"I'm sure I don't need to explain and you already know full well," With that I left the room. When I went downstairs I found Rainy had just arrived home. She didn't even look at me other than just walking past me. I understood the pain she was in, and I wished I could save her from it, but I couldn't.

"Mabel,"

I flinched when I got a call from Adrian. He stood in his black shirt with his sleeves rolled up. I smiled as I walked towards him. "How long have you been standing there?"

"I just arrived," explained Adrian briefly. "Are you ready?"

I nodded and slipped my arm around Adrian's waist. "I've been looking forward to this day,"

The next thing I knew we were already on our way to the cemetery. The whole way there was only silence. Some time after returning from Bali, Adrian became quieter and seemed to have closed himself off from me. He didn't talk much, let alone about his mind and feelings. I did spend a lot of time with him, but neither of us started a conversation about what really happened. We just acted as if nothing was different.

I sighed after watching Adrian for a few minutes. He never stole a glance in my direction other than at the road in front of us. I really wondered what he was contemplating. "I always avoided this question after coming back from Bali, but Adrian, is it true that everything is fine especially between us?" I asked after thinking for a while. I could no longer stand being disturbed by my excessive thoughts about what really made him slowly change.

I felt the car slowing down before finally coming to a complete stop and pulling over. My eyes fell on the others, but on Adrian. I knew he was going to say something that might have a heavy topic, and I wasn't ready to listen. Is his love for me slowly fading away? Has he found a new woman who is better, prettier, even has a nice ass? OMG, what am I thinking?

"Can I kiss you?"

I was sure at that moment my expression looked strange. My lips parted into an 'O' like a fish. I didn't expect that to come out of Adrian's mouth. Is he kidding me now? I just didn't understand.

Adrian just stared silently while waiting for my answer. I did the same with him. We just stared at each other, and maybe I was the only one who was in a surprised situation at his response just now.