Chapter 19: Chapter 19

The stupid question slipped from my lips without me noticing. I shouldn't have asked that, and now I found myself looking like an idiot because Adrian stared at me intently without answering. To be honest, his silence was so deadly that my legs went limp. Moreover, my question sounded so confident. I knew that he wasn't jealous at all. He just didn't want me to get hurt again for still hoping for Ashton.

Adrian walked closer, making me close my eyes. The memory of our first kiss came back in my head. It was ecstatic.

I opened my eyes when I didn't feel the touch of Adrian's lips. Apparently he was just standing there looking at me.

"I don't share what's mine, Mabel. When you said you'd try to be with me, that's when you had to learn to love me." Adrian said with a hardened face. "I don't care how you used to admire, or even love Ashton. But now you're going to be my fiancé and future wife,"

I knew Adrian was burning with jealousy. He didn't say he was jealous, but from his words, he indirectly agreed with my question. He was jealous.

I smiled and made Adrian look at me to find out what happened to me. "I know," I grabbed his hands, pulling him closer.

Adrian complied, letting me hold his hands. He stared back at me even though he clearly didn't understand what I was trying to do.

"If that's what you want, you should have told me earlier so I would know and be more careful not to hurt you. I'm sorry," I tiptoed to reach Adrian's face. Then I kissed his lips briefly.

Adrian froze in place because of what I did. I smiled with satisfaction that I could show him that I could surprise him with my actions too. But then, I was the one who froze again. He held me and kissed my lips gently. He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me towards him.

"I think we're moving too fast," I murmured in between our kisses. Adrian sucked on my lower lip more gently, as if to show his soft side.

Adrian finally released my lips from his captive, after sucking and licking one last time. Luckily no servants passed by. It was really just us. "We have to move faster,"

My heart was beating erratically. The way his amber eyes softened their gaze on me, made my feelings even more messed up. Since I felt that way, I took a reckless action. I jumped up to hug Adrian. He caught me, then my arms wrapped around his neck. He carried me with his hands on my ass.

I buried my face in his neck, inhaling his manly scent with a wide smile on my lips. I didn't know I could feel so comfortable with Adrian. Even when I was with him, I forgot everything. My feelings for Ashton were starting to fade for sure.

Adrian walked somewhere, but I was willing to be taken anywhere as long as I was with him. I rested my head on his shoulder.

"Being comfortable there?" Adrian chuckled.

I replied with a hum.

"Guess where I'm taking you,"

I suddenly lifted my head from his shoulder. My mouth gaped open to see Adrian lead me outside, towards the pool. "Wait, don't tell me you-"

I didn't have time to finish talking when Adrian immediately jumped into the pool with me.

"You're no fun at all!" I grumbled and distanced myself from him. My clothes got completely wet, including my hair. I must looked so messy.

Adrian laughed at my annoyance. He grabbed my waist when I wanted to get away from him. I giggled as he managed to pull me closer to him. His hands started to tickle my stomach making me try to push him away. He was deliberately teasing me.

A minute later I stopped laughing when Adrian stared at me darkly. His eyes didn't meet mine. They looked down at my clothes. I followed his gaze and suddenly covered my chest with my hands. My underwear was see-through.

Adrian cleared his throat and looked away. Color raced to my cheeks. "This is not a good idea,"

The corner of Adrian's lips lifted, then he removed my hands from my chest. He closed the distance between us and cupped my cheeks. "Don't cover it up. Let me see the whole of you," His eyes returned to mine and I closed my eyes. "You have the perfect beauty, Mabel. So don't try to hide your body from me,"

I slowly opened my eyes and smiled at him. The sunlight shining on Adrian's face made the face of the man with the sculptural features of the Greek god bring out another aura about him, and I loved it. Am I in love? I couldn't have dropped my heart so quickly on another man other than Ashton. Moreover, our closeness had only just reached the early stages. But I had a different feeling, like I had completely changed into a new person and not my old self.

"Adrian?" I spoke stiffly in a questioning tone.

"What's wrong? Are you cold?" asked Adrian with a worried look.

I nodded slowly. "No,"

"Then why?"

My face did show anxiety, and I was sure enough that Adrian could see it, so he looked at me with the same concern.

"Do you think someone can fall in love so quickly with someone they just met?"

"What?" Adrian chuckled softly.

"I'm serious," I stepped back, putting some distance between us and splashed water on him.

Adrian kept me from moving further away from him. "Your question is less specific. Who's in love?"

My body pressed closer to him again. I tried to keep my heart from beating fast, because now I was starting to be afraid that my heartbeat would be heard by him.

"Me?" I looked at him, curious as to what his response would be.

"You?" Adrian repeated, raising an eyebrow. And then his face showed an expression of displeasure. "Who else made you fall in love?"

"Who else?" My forehead creased at his question.

Adrian sighed and ruffled his wet hair. He didn't look at me and put on a pretended stupid expression. "I mean after Ashton. He's the only one you loved,"

I pondered at his words as I kept my gaze on him.

"Because you can't possibly fall in love with me," Adrian smiled sadly.

I opened my mouth to speak, but Adrian rushed out of the pool instead. He was always running away from me.

"Adrian, I'm not done talking. Can you stop running away from me every time there's a problem between us, and settle it like a gentleman?"

My words seemed to snap Adrian. He turned to me. "I don't want to hear the name of that other guy you're starting to love,"

"Fine," I said sarcastically. "Since you don't like it, I got excited to mention his name instead."

Adrian folded his arms across his chest. He seemed to challenge me with sharp eyes. He waited until I had trouble pronouncing his name.

"Come on," Adrian challenged me scornfully.

"He is you!" I replied irritatedly and pointed my finger at him. "I fell in love with you somehow. I know I fell too fast, but I believe in my feelings." I sighed deeply and continued. "Honestly, I'm holding shame in my throat right now. But it's better to tell you now, than to feel the pain once again if I hide it all the time. I don't want my first mistake to be repeated. And I don't want to lose you just because I'm embarrassed to say it,"

"No," whispered Adrian from his place.

My heart skipped a few beats and then thundered.

"You can't possibly love me, Mabel." continued Adrian. "You're just feeling lonely, and I showed up at that moment. I know you're trying to love me, but if you're not really in love yet, then don't say it. Don't trap me in your mixed feelings,"

"I thought you'd be happy if I told the truth," I laughed silently, clutching my chest. "But even worse, you don't even believe my declaration of love."

Adrian took no action. He was still in the same place, giving me a look like he wanted to soothe me. But there was something in his head that snapped him until it paralyzed his will to reach me.

I smiled meekly. "Yeah, of course, you're going to leave me again. You always are,"

Adrian was clearly debating himself, but he chose to remain silent. He just didn't accept the fact that what I said was true.

This always happens, why am I always blind and can't see it?

I sighed restfully, almost too exhausted to argue. This time, I didn't want Adrian, once again, to be the one who left when the fight broke out, but it was my turn. I passed him, but suddenly his big hand grabbed my elbow, sending me bouncing against his body. I tried to get his hand off me as I didn't want to hear any more bullshit.

"Don't be stubborn, and stop rebelling against me!" Adrian snapped which made my guts suddenly shrink. I forgot that he was still in the bad guy category in my country.

Adrian's face softened as he realized I was scared of him. "For God's sake, Mabel! You're looking at me like I'm going to hurt you," His voice sounded hurt. He groaned and then loosened his grip on my elbow. "I would never hurt you,"

"Physically no, but mentally you broke me." I was so emotional. Maybe because I was annoyed that my declaration of love was dumped? It was the first time I confessed my love to a man. I never did it before, not even to Ashton whom I had a crush on for years. Adrian should be grateful to be the first and last. Because I swore never to do that again.

Adrian sighed, gazing down at me. "Stop being like this, Mabel."

"You can't accept that I love you, because you feel guilty for not loving me back." I said in a trembling voice.

Adrian claimed that I was his. He didn't even want me to think about another man. And here he was, making no defense. So I figured that what I said was undeniably true.

"You don't love me, Adrian." I waited for Adrian to deny me, at least justify what I said to be he didn't love me yet. But my expectations were too high. I didn't mind if he still loved Selena, but to be honest, I was also selfish. I wanted to feel a little love from him.

My lips twisted into a miserable smile. "And that's okay..."

No, nothing came close to okay. I had made plans to avoid him for the next few days, only to forget all about him including the kiss we shared. But I was in big trouble, having tied two families together for our engagement and marriage. I was in deep chaos.

Adrian's eyes were glued to mine. Does he feel sorry for me? There was only silence between us, and I knew there were words he couldn't get out of his warm lips.

The hardest part was that I couldn't move my legs. I was hypnotized by the look Adrian gave me. It made me wait for him to say something; not wait, rather hope.

"I just need you to say something now. Just tell me the truth, because I know something is really bothering you." I sounded pleading and exhausted. "Just say it, please..."

That day, my heart broke into pieces. Love was confusing and painful for me. And the feeling it gave off was like a dangerous citrus poison.

"I don't know,"

My heart dropped to the ground. I blinked after his simple statement.

"Does our kiss mean nothing to you? Am I just another girl?"