Chapter 75: Chapter 75
TangShi wandered into the apartment ahead of YuZhi, pulling off his suit jacket he had draped on her when leaving the event and dropped it carefully on the counter of the kitchen. YuZhi walked in behind her, throwing his keys and cell on top of it and caught her by the elbow before she got any further.
“Hey, you okay?” he pulled her back to face him, scrutinizing her mood and appearance now they were home in decent lighting. The drive back had been quiet and tense as they both got lost in their thoughts and didn’t want to say much in front of the limo driver. He wasn’t a usual driver for YuZhi, so they had kept it for getting home.
“I’m fine. Tired, a little rattled, but I’m okay. What about you?” TangShi reached up to touch his shoulder that had taken the brunt of the glass and he shrugged it off, pulling her in against him and gave her a hug. Cradling the back of her head against him and burying his face in the nape of her neck. Wrapped up in a bear hug as they both released the pent-up tension they were harboring. TangShi sunk against him, sliding her hands up around his back and they stood that way for a few minutes. Quietly breathing in slow unison as they both unwound the stress of that encounter.
“I’m fine. No injuries. Listen, Tang, nothing she said was true. Don’t take any of it to heart. I don’t want you feeling bad or guilty over Rhea’s tantrum. She made her own choices, and this is about her and me and our messed-up relationship. It’s nothing to do with you or anything you have done. I’m sorry about tonight.” He tilted her head back with a finger under her chin so he could look her directly in the eye, smoothing back the hair that had fallen down from getting soaked. Guilt eating him at how innocent she looked when ruffled and tired after the hell of tonight.
“Will you see her tomorrow and smooth things over again?” TangShi was torn about her own feelings. Having Rhea act that way and attack her had been a shock and shaken her to the core. Now she wondered if they were ever friends at all and didn’t really want to care anymore about Rhea Cheng. Linlin would never treat TangShi that way and she knew it meant Rhea never cared about her. YuZhi was right about them never being friends.
“No. I ended everything when you left the room. Told her it was done. We are done.” YuZhi let go of TangShi and paced past her into the kitchen to make coffee, wound up and exhausted but still angry about tonight. Every time he pictured it in his head he wanted to break something. He couldn’t believe the girl he knew all these years could be so violent and vindictive.
“What? What do you mean, over?” TangShi gawped at him and followed. Unsure what exactly he was implying.
“The plan for two years from now. Her and I. It’s finished.” He shut it down quickly not willing to elaborate anymore but TangShi couldn’t leave it alone.
“But you love her, she’s your long-term girlfriend. You’re supposed to eventually marry her.” She stated on automatic pilot, her heart rate upping and her nerves growing in her belly even though she didn’t know why.
“If I’m being honest, this was a long time coming. I know the media painted us to be this perfect couple, but we had our problems and some of them were huge. This was the straw that broke the camel’s back, and I can’t keep ignoring the reality of it.” He waved a mug in TangShi’s direction to ask if she wanted coffee too and set about the task when she nodded. Trying to focus on doing something, rather than thinking more.
“So, it’s really …. done? No future plan, no thoughts of dating her again when you’re free?” She didn’t know how to feel about that because Rhea was the one thing that always stood between them, like an invisible barrier. An end goal for him. Without her and the plan, she didn’t know what would happen when her time with YuZhi ended.
“I thought I loved her. All these years as her friend, then her boyfriend, I ignored a lot of red flags about us. I cared about her, and I wanted her to be happy, but if I’m being honest, I didn’t really put effort into our relationship. I went with what she wanted and worked so much we spent minimal time together anyway. Rebelling against this marriage, was more about being forced against my will to do something, other than about screwing up my future with Rhea. I didn’t realize it until now.”
The honesty in that statement made them both look at one another and stare in pensive silence for a moment. The air heavy with tension.
“Didn’t you live here together? Have a life? Maybe it’s because you’ve forgotten what it was like that you’re only thinking of the bad stuff now, because you’re upset.” TangShi gestured around, sure she had heard Rhea say this was where she slept every night, but YuZhi shook his head. TangShi didn’t want this sudden knee jerk reaction from him if he was going to regret it and cause himself pain. She was scared for him that it was impulsive, and he would live to regret it. Her heart was terrified to put any hope in place that he might no longer be bound to another woman.
“My grandfather was never cool about us, and a part of me thought I was respecting him by keeping things on the date level and not moving. When I look back, I never wanted to move forward because it suited me how we were. I had my date when I needed her, it kept things simple, but could live my life without having to consider her plans or commit all the way. I knew she loved me enough to put up with anything as long as I came when she clicked her fingers, and I didn’t rock the boat. I thought I was content and that was how it was meant to be.” He had been thinking a lot on the long drive home, about all of this and tonight he had some kind of lightbulb moment that he had ignored for a long time. She had switched something off in him, and it had widened a crack and let a lot of negativity out that he had pushed aside for a long time.
“You’ve been friends your whole life, maybe you’re just mad at her tonight and not seeing it clearly. After some sleep you might feel differently.”
“It’s more than that. It’s been there in my head for months now. The worse things got between us. I’ve hidden a lot of it from you. The calls, texts, the drop ins to my office, and the constant demands and emotional blackmail. Rhea has been clinging on and making life hell for me since we got married but she’s so good at projecting that kind and loving girl on the world that I wanted to believe it was all fallout and would pass in time.” YuZhi sighed and watched the percolator filling the coffee jug, pushing their mugs aside and leaned down to rest his arms and face on the cool worktop. Exhaling with a long blow to try and ease the building headache.
TangShi came around, hating seeing him like this and rubbed his back and shoulder, trying anything to comfort him because he made her heart bleed. She knew he was confused and frustrated, and she didn’t want that tiny flicker of hope to grow when her gut said none of this was real. He was drunk, even if he didn’t seem it, and angry. Tomorrow was a new day.
“It’s understandable. She loves you so much and this contract, this thing between us, it would drive any sane woman crazy. I can’t begin to know what it feels like to see the love of your life being taken away for two whole years.” TangShi’s biggest flaw in life was her huge empathy for people’s pain that allowed her to justify so many things.
“I get that, I do. It’s hardly a picnic for me either to have all my plans and relationship upended and told I was to marry a girl I didn’t think I had ever met. We had plans on how to deal with it, to stay apart, but she never stuck to them. She made it worse for all of us.” YuZhi got up and walked off, wired and tense at the same time and needed some breathing space. “I felt like I owed her, and it was all wrapped up in thinking she was the one. For being there for me when I needed someone, and I convinced myself my care for her was love. I don’t think it is, not in the way she loves me. I can’t change that now that I’ve finally realized it.”
“What makes you think it isn’t love now? After all this time? Don’t make decisions while wound up and angry.” TangShi waited where she was, leaning one hand against the counter and watched him pace around as he loosened his bow tie and hauled it off, took his sash from around his waist and tossed them on the couch before undoing his top buttons and yanking his shirt out of his pants to loosen him up. Her heart racing at his words but using all her willpower to stay blank and be a friend in this.