Chapter 30: Chapter 30
It stirred that strange painful emotion in his chest and he felt like he'd been here before, all over again. A long-forgotten faded memory that held him still and quiet while his brain tried to rack through and pinpoint why TangShi was the one that made him feel this way. Pressed to her, breathing her air, it knocked him for six for just a second. He forgot his need to bully her, forgot to move, and even forgot how to breathe when she was this close.
TangShi hit hysterical panic and thrust herself up in a bid to escape. Her body on fire and her mind running haywire at all the inappropriate ways they were touching. She was mortified, and her face crimson. She pulled herself into a crawl position to get her body off his, sliding legs up onto his thighs, pushing against his strong chest to lever her weight and somehow managed to kneel on his groin with force. It almost killed him in the process with the unexpected and non-deliberate assault.
YuZhi reacted like a wounded animal, crunching up with a yelp, suddenly tensing all over like she stabbed him in the balls. Grunting as he curled up and tossed her sideways from his body with a groan. He sent her flying off him at speed, ungraciously. TangShi rolling with a bounce onto the hardwood and banging bones and limbs while he crumpled up and covered his genitals with two cupped hands.
"You!.... Why are you such an asshole?" TangShi burst out because of wincing pain. Anger and embarrassment colouring her tone snappishly. She sounded haughty and upset as tears filled her eyes because of sharp shooting spasms up her elbow and hip. The thud of her exposed skin on the hardwood floor had hurt and winded her, giving her a painful shock.
She pushed her body up from the place he had deposited her like unwanted trash, clambering to her feet, and pulled her nightdress straight while stomping away from him. Not willing to let him see she was starting to cry even though crying wasn’t something she often did. Her eyes misted over because it had not only hurt bones when he dropped her onto the wooden floor so coldly, but her pride. In that one throw she had felt like he was tossing away disgusting garbage and it wounded her heart. Even though she should expect it from him.
She had no idea it was a pain reaction from squashing his genitals with her knee and he hadn't meant to be so aggressive in moving her off. YuZhi actually felt guilty about shoving her, but he was in too much discomfort to say anything yet. He needed a moment for the burning ache to subside and to be able to catch his breath for a moment before he could make words work. She had no idea how excruciatingly painful this was. TangShi was maybe small and light, but not when she pushed a knee into his baby making tackle.
YuZhi was temporarily stunned and blinked her way through watery eyes as she stormed off and got into bed like a petulant kitten who had been scolded. Unable to do very much about it except pray it would pass quickly.
"You threw yourself at me, and yet I'm the asshole?" He responded finally, breathless, his voice croaking. That cool manner of his slicing in to get the last word and even he knew that isn't what happened. He was still too lost in his own head, his throbbing injury, and trying to figure out why this girl screwed up all his reactions. Why his body hadn't rejected her, and his heart was hammering from having her on top of him. He couldn't get the scent of her skin out of his nostrils, and it was trying to drag him back to something lingering in his mind.
YuZhi pushed it away with irritation at his own weakness and got up carefully. Rolling to his side while being slow and precise about standing up and taking a much-needed deep breath. She had no idea how sore that was and how ZhengLi would be nursing a broken face had it been him to knee him in the balls.
YuZhi started walking off what she just did to him, returning to aloof and controlled on the outer appearance before stopping by the bed to look at her. Pushing all other emotions away to regain the upper hand in this, he didn't want to lose face more than he had already.
"I have nothing to say to you." TangShi mumbled like a weak and scolded child from her wrapped up place in the bed where she was now hiding in the sheets. She was stiff as a board on the far edge of her side and making herself as small as possible. Making it clear he should stay away.
She too was suffering from the effects of his familiar touch and began to cry softly as the vivid and clear memories of five years ago started to gnaw at her mind. They brought her only pain and remembrance that once upon a time he had held her close, kissed her lips swollen, and gazed at her like she was his only. She had never believed in love at first sight until she had met YuZhi Leng that fateful night and never imagined he could treat her with the contempt he did nowadays. He made her feel alone in this house, more so than she ever was in her own.
YuZhi felt uncomfortable standing watching her obvious despair and the encounter didn't bring him any sense of entertainment like he had expected when he began to tease her. Instead, he felt weird and awkward, and her body heat and weight still clung to his skin like he hadn't pushed her away. He didn't like this uncertain and confusing feeling, and his manner dropped completely to his famed deadpan as he pushed it away and didn't let it show. The mask coming up to shield the war of inner feelings. He was unhappy that he had made her cry, even if she was trying to act like she wasn't.
"I have work to do so go to sleep. I won't be in bed until I'm done. Don't disturb me…… I’m sorry I pushed you, I didn’t mean it. It was a reaction. I’m sorry I hurt you." YuZhi didn't wait for a reply, his apology brisk and quick in a rush of words but marched off towards his office and glanced back despite himself as he got to the door. A slight hesitation in his normally decisive behaviours.
She didn't move from her little cave of covers and for the first time since he met her, YuZhi felt shitty about hurting her. He wasn’t a guy who got a kick out of pushing women around and he would never hit one. A flicker of guilt that teasing her wasn't all that fun if she responded to him with tears instead of rage. He knew it was probably because he physically hurt her, not a mental or emotional kind of upset and yet, it bothered him a lot. He could deal with her glares, her temper, or her sarcasm, but he didn’t like hearing her cry. He was human after all. And she was a girl.
He walked off into his study, deciding tonight he would sleep in there on the pull-out couch instead and give her some space, hating himself that when he turned to shut the door, he lingered again. Staring at the mound in the bed and cursing himself out for being soft all because she turned on the waterworks. He always was a sucker for girls crying. He exhaled slowly, forced himself to shut the door and turned around to rest the back of his skull against the flat wooden surface.
He really needed to get a grip where she was concerned because this wasn’t him at all and he needed to remind himself that TangShi was not someone he should ever care about.