Chapter 39: Chapter 39

For the past two month now ever since amira came back to the house, muhsin had gone back to his old self; the cold and furious muhsin. After coming to her room every night for the past one week before amira came back. How selfish he was, dalia mused to herself.

He was more cold and grumpy this time, more annoying. She did everything in the house including babysitting. She did everything for the baby and when it's time to feed her, that was her only free time.

On her way back from his parents' house after she had spent the whole day there like she always did every weekend, she stopped by and did some grocery shopping before she headed back home with the driver. She entered the house, encountering with Muhsin rocking Adila back and forth.

She walked passed him as she greeted him nonchalantly before walking into the kitchen and dropped the groceries. She sauntered out and she ambled up the stairs. He stared at her till she was out of his sight. He sighed as he continued pacifying the adila till she fell asleep.

Meanwhile, the moment she stepped foot into her room she burst into laughter, clutching her stomach. It gave her joy to see him doing the work. She knew whatever the case, he'd feel how she felt whenever she was in that position.

She restrained herself as she picked up the bag the dropped while laughing. She took a quick bath and performed ablution before praying maghrib.

After she had prayed, she stepped out of the room and headed to the kitchen. He was still in the living room when she passed in front him yet again. It pained him. To ignore him while he does the work, and he was too arrogant to ask for her help. While she didn't care to ask if he needed any.

After she was done with dinner, she prayed isha before having her dinner in the dining room alone. She cleared the plate she used before going back to her room. Just as she was about to set foot in the living room, the wrangle increased. She halted, not wanting to eavesdrop. Then she changed her mind, she doesn't care what goes on between them. Whatever it was, she needn't to hear it. It was there problem.

She shrugged it off and entered making them to keep shut when heard her presence in the room. Not glancing their way, she walked away and headed upstairs. 'So the two love birds still fight?" She mused to herself as she chuckled. It was none of her business, if they wanted, they can rip off the roof for all she cares. She has had enough of their crap, the both of them.

The next day, while she was making breakfast, she heard the baby crying from the living room. No matter how much she wanted to ignore it, she couldn't. Even after what adila's mother did to her the last time she attempted to carry the baby while muhsin wasn't home. She couldn't let her anger affect the innocent three months old baby who has nothing to do with what her crappy parents are doing to Dalia. She couldn't let the pain of what adila's parents are doing to her to affect the baby.

She swiftly washed her hand and stepped out. She was about to scoop her up when Amira walked in. "Don't you dare lay your filthy hands on my daughter. Haven't I told you not to touch my baby again? You think I don't know what you're up to when you're alone with her. So after you've finished aborting your own on the streets now you're here trying to kill mine. As from today I don't want to see you anywhere near my daughter."

Every word stung only fueling the fire that burned inside of her. Every violated phrase was like gasoline to it, her fists began to clench and her jaw rooted. When the final mento had been added to the coke inside of her I exploded with anger, but she restrained herself. And instead of bursting it out, she kept mute. She wasn't going to do it with Amira, the person that had started the fuss was going to get it all.

The day has come. She was waiting for the slightest thing that'd make her snap!

She marched back into the kitchen while Amira went back upstairs to answer a call as she claimed the baby's noise was making a distraction.

He hurriedly picked up Adila and started pacifying her till she was calm. He was about to amble upstairs to spill out his anger that Amira had filled it up in his stomach for days when he heard noise coming from the kitchen and he knew no doubt, it was Dalia. He gently placed her back on the sofa before walking towards the kitchen.

With the anger he was eager to release, he barged into the kitchen. "What sort of nonsense is this now? You can audibly hear the baby crying but you can't drop what you're doing to check up on her because you have a numbskull. How many times do I have to tell you that you're now the babysitter, you're expected to do everything in this house especially taking care of the baby because my wife cannot waste time doing that....."

That was the outbreaking point of her patience. At that moment, she was blinded by a five course serving rage. All that rage came out faster than magma and just destructive. He stood before her, astonished but she kept on going, stopping short of physical violence but doing far more damage with her words.

"I am sick and tired of your madness, both of you. You didn't even hear my side of the story but you decided to accuse me, assumed I deliberately ignored the baby. What have you turned into? This isn't the man I married. Weren't you the one that begged me to marry you? Weren't you the one that chased me and made me to fall in love at the first place? This.... your soul is a pure spark of love but your rages are more than my heart can bare. You drew me in with a sweetness I'd never found before, something so strong I can still feel it even when we're apart. But then you suddenly change and came back so angry, unable to know the real cause. You broke me in ways I had never imagined possible. You turned my safe haven into hell, my mind into its own poison. You broke my heart and now I must recoil to protect the shattered pieces that remains. We're done... it’a over...."

There was something in that shout, a pain behind it. Muhsin watched. Dalia's eyes. He watched Dalia's eyes. Then he knew. The anger was nothing but a shield of pain. She walked past him, brushing his shoulder before she closed the door behind her and hurriedly walked into her room.

This time around the tears didn't flow down instead, she felt relieved that she had finally gotten everything out and she couldn't continue living in a toxic relationship.

Without having a second thought, she packed her things and left.

She found herself walking towards the house that she couldn't remember when last she stepped foot into, the house she always find joy whenever she sauntered in.

She cleaned her face with her hijab before she finally opening the door and walked in.

Amina turned her attention to the door when she heard her daughter’s weary voice, expecting her greeting smile, but none came. Instead her face remained melancholic. Her mother kept staring at her, unable to utter a word till dalia collapsed on the bed and started the water works. She heaved a sigh, looking at Dalia. She couldn't ask what happened, afraid of what dalia might tell her. “Dalia.”

She slowly sat up right, settling her eyes on her mother. “Dalia what happened to you? Have you seen yourself lately? Look at how your face looks so down, how you’ve lost weight. Do you even sleep or right eat at all?” Her mother kept looking at her, it was the sort of gaze that was home, hearty and safe. She averted her gaze, the tears still cascading down. In dalia’s sobbing was the sound of a heart breaking. She sobbed into her hands and tears dripped between her finger, raining down onto her dress.

Amina stared at her before gently looping her arm around dalia’s shoulders. A little relieved she felt now that she has finally made the decision to leave, to leave him for good. It wasn't easy to walk away but it was the only way out of her misery. She cried until no more tears came, but still the emptiness and sorrow remained. And soon enough, without her knowing, she fell asleep in her mother’s arms.

Dalia wakes top suddenly, every thought in high definition. Her eyes take in the ray of light and without a doubt she knew she has slept too long. She got off the bed, glancing at the wall clock. It was past Zuhr prayer already. She hurriedly entered her mother's bathroom and freshened up before performing ablution. After praying, she stepped out of the room. She encountered with Amrah together with her mother in the living room. She averted her gaze from Amrah who was giving her a pity look. “Mama why didn't you wake me up to pray and it’s almost time for Asr.” She lamented as she walked over to where Amina was comfortably and joined her on the sofa.

Amina gazed at her smiling, feeling the love and care for her daughter increasing. “You needed to rest dalia because you looked so tired. Now get up and go eat before prayer time.” Even though Amina wanted to hear her daughter out, even though she wanted to know what happened, she can’t come between them and she doesn't feel like she had the right to make a decision for dalia concerning her marital life. Without arguing, dalia nodded her head before getting to her feet.

She sauntered out of the living room same time Amrah tailed behind her. She met dalia sitting on the kitchen stool, palm on her cheek while her elbow on her knee. She raised her head up and beheld Amrah’s gaze. Dalia sighed, looking away when Amrah started giving her an uncomfortable look. Amrah stood before her, resting her waist on the kitchen island. “What happened?” Amrah asked.

Dalia looked at her and turned her face to another direction. “I left.” She rose up and walked towards the warmer. Amrah stared at her every movement without uttering another word to her. She knew by dalia’s respond, she doesn’t want to speak about it and Amrah didn't push her to it out. If dalia wanted her to know what happened, she would tell her without asking.

**

He called out her name again but no response. He scoffed as he marched towards the stairs, carefully holding Adila. The last thing he wanted was his daughter not being taken cared of and that was exactly what amira was doing, carelessly dropping her where ever she wanted.

He sashayed into her room and met her answering a call. She hurriedly ended the call, looking at him, remorsefully. “What on earth is wrong with you? How can you carelessly just leave her all by herself in the living room why you sit here doing absolutely nothing useful.”

She gaped at him, mouth slightly opened. She badly wanted to rain curses on him like always did but this time, she restrained herself and swallowed the anger, and masked it with a fake smile. “No babe, I came here to get her bottle and then mommy called me.... I swear I was about to head out and get her.”

Without responding to her, he handed the baby to her before leaving the room. Amira stared at his retreating back, wondering how would she continue to` take care of the baby now that she had succeeded in sending Dalia away. It has already been a week since dalia left and she had never been happier. She smiled happily as she placed Adila in her cradle.

He unbuttoned his shirt as he debated with what his heart kept whispering to him for days. ‘Of course you’re empty; where’s your safe harbour, away from the gales and the storms? Where is the fuel you need to fill up? Where was the love you claimed you had for her? Why didn't you stop her when she was leaving? Now you're left, left with the same nonchalant wife that doesn’t care about anything or anyone but herself.’

He massaged his temple to make the throbbing headache go away but it never worked. He hissed slightly as he sauntered into the bathroom to take a quick bath.

After he prayed Isha, he laid down on his bed. Hours past and he was still awake, tossing and turning in his bed. And no matter how he tried to get her out of his mind, to get rid of the guilt, it never faded.

He sighed, giving up before he sat up right and grabbed his phone from the side drawer. He unlocked it and tapped on his contact, scrolling to her number. He stared at it for a long moment. “So...” He whispered, staring at her phone number that he finds joy whenever he dialed it right before everything crumbled down. He took a deep breath. He let it all out in a desolate sigh. He closed his eyes and opened it, swallowing hard. “I guess.... I guess this is...” He didn't want to say it; goodbye. But he had to, knowing it was just a matter of time before she comes back for her divorced letter.