Chapter 22: Chapter 22

She looked down at her feet as the tears blurred her vision. How she felt was something she couldn't describe at that moment. She covered her face with her warm palms as she sobbed into it unceasingly. The pain she felt within her was unbearable. It wasn't like she hated him, she liked him also. She admitted that she had feelings for him when he finally confessed. But she was afraid, afraid of his wife. She was afraid because it sounded like cheating and she couldn't betray amira and her parents, not after the good things they've done for her and her mother.

“Listen, Dalia, what I intend to do, it’s not like Allah has forbid it. This isn't something bad and...”

“Please if you don’t have anything reasonable to tell me then I have to go back inside.” She never let their eyes meet. She couldn't handle the pressure of his hot gaze on her. It worsened her situation. “You may not know this but, I am always smiling behind my phone whenever we speak on phone. I smile inside every time I see you. When I message you, I look five to five seconds to see if you have answered me. I tried to hide my feelings, I really did, but I couldn't. I can’t resist not making you mine. I don't want to lose you, Dalia. You are the one I love, you are my first love. Please don’t say no to me because I’ll be a complete mess without you.”

She shook her head slowly as she started walking backwards. “I... I'm sorry but... I just can’t. I can’t do this.” His shoulders slumped defeatedly but not that he was giving up already. “Do you love , dalia?” He asked the question. She slowly raised her head and settled her gaze on him. She lowered her gaze and fiddled with her fingers. “You love me then?” He asked her.

She turned and ran off into the house. Her mother stood by her door of her room, looking at her daughter walk passed her before she entered her room. Amina heaved a long sigh and turned to her room. She came out wearing a hijab before she sauntered out of the house and ushered him in before he left.

She served him food and some refreshments. Muhsin hadn't realized he haven't eaten till he started eating the food Dalia’s mother served him. The cooking was delicious. It tasted like her cooking. It may be her cooking, he couldn’t forget how she cooked. He couldn't forget how she conversed with him about how her mother taught her how to cook and how she got knocked in the head when she wasn't paying attention. He couldn't forget each and every moment they shared together.

After he was done eating, Amina focused on him before she spoke. “Muhsin what exactly is going on please? Dalia have not told me what fully happened. What she has been doing since last night was crying.”

He took a deep breath before he informed her about everything that has happened and how he started to love her. “And mama, I seriously want to marry Dalia but she rejected. I tried speaking to her just now but she still rejected me. And she’s not giving me any valid reason why she’s rejecting me. I asked her if she doesn’t love me and I will let go if she doesn't but she never answered the question.”

Her mother turned away as she reasoned. She observed that dalia had something for him even though she hadn't realized she was in love but it was obvious. “I know dalia can be stubborn and hard sometimes especially when she makes up her mind but I will try and see how I will convince her.” The tension that had kept him up for hours straight melted into nothing. He beamed and nodded his head. He was relieved knowing her mother would do any possible way to help him.

“But.... But for now. You should give her some time, okay? I will inform you on everything ones I've spoken with her, In sha Allah.” He nodded his head as he smiled. “Yes, mama, thank you so much. I know she will listen to you definitely.” Her mother smiled and nodded. “This is her phone.” He brought out the phone from his pocket and kept it in front of Amina. “Mama, I will be on my way now.”

She accompanied him to the door before she went back into her room, not bothering to check up on Dalia. She knew it wasn't a great time to talk about it yet.

**

She held the phone in her hand contemplating whether to turn it on or not. She knew she had missed a lot; her friends, their group chat, reading books online and mostly him. “Are you going to turn it on or you’re going to keep staring at it?” Amrah interrupted her. She looked at Amrah’s way before she glared at her and hissed as she turned her attention to the phone she was holding.

Amrah shrugged and continued with her business. Dalia found her trembling hands pushing the power button. She plump down on the edge of the bed as she let out a shaky breath. She waited to see his text messages at least but nothing, nothing appeared but a couple of messages from her school friends.

She embraced herself and shook her head. Was she expecting message from him? The man she has rejected, a married man with a crazy wife? She hissed scolding herself for thinking he would text her. And tell her what even?

She dropped the phone on her side drawer and laid on the bed before she slowly closed her eyes. She prayed sleep will overtake her, at least she will find some peace after she wakes up.

Her phone suddenly vibrated which made her to briskly scramble up to her feet. She took the phone and quickly checked the new message. She groaned and turned it back. It wasn't him. Why wasn't he texting her now? He has given up on her already?

Amrah glanced at her and looked away not saying anything to her like Dalia’s mother asked her not to. Dalia got tired of pacing around the room and laid back down on the bed and closed her eyes. She will forget about him like he had forgotten about her.

**

Dalia hadn't started panicking till her mother stopped asking her about what was going on for the past one week and he never texted her or showed up again. She felt dejected, why was everyone not talking about it? Not even Amrah after she had told her what was going on.

The fear and thoughts looped around in her mind until there was no room for anything else. These next few days would either pass as a blip in the course of her life, or they would be final trauma that broke her. She stood up from her bed before the tears threatened to fall. She slipped into her hijab and stepped out of her room to her mother’s room.

“Mama, I'm going to go buy something now. I will be back soon.” Her mother looked at the wall clock before she turned her gaze to dalia and nodded. “Don’t stay long and be careful.” Dalia nodded her head before she walked out. Her mother sighed and shook her head. If only dalia would actually open up on what exactly was bothering her but she was very stubborn and strong headed.

With each stride, her mind became more clear, more resolute, as if the growing physical; distance between them had now become an emotional chasm. As the orange looking sun sets, it caressed her pale face, promising a happy ending. She entombed her memories of him in thick walled ice. Then, abruptly pausing to close her tired eyes and take in a deep breath of dewy air, she steeled herself to only think of her future from here on, her future without him. A future she would mould, build, direct. Then with each stride after that she felt more in charge, in command of her own mind, body and soul. She was a girl walking into her own destiny, a destiny that lay squarely in her own hands.

From absolutely nowhere, she heard a car honked behind her. She quickly shifted from the road and continued walking, not turning back. The car honked twice that she had to turn her gaze to see who was distracting her peaceful walk.

Her heart and stomach fluttered as her lips curved upwards. She squealed as he dropped out from the car. He gave her a bright smile, more like a chuckle. “Is this how much you missed me?” He laughed warmly. She crossed her arms on her chest as she frowned and turned her head away. How didn't she manage to hide her feelings? She suddenly felt embarrassed for what she had done just few seconds ago. Now he would know she had missed him or even worse, she liked him.

He chuckled softly and shook his head. “Okay, I'm sorry, you don't miss me, I know. Now can you please get into the car? We need to talk.” She gazed at his way and their eyes locked. She lowered her gaze from his pleading eyes before she hesitantly walked to the door and opened it. He heaved a sigh of relieve before he also entered. He set his eyes on her. “Look at me now, please,” he pleaded. She slowly turned her gaze to him, “why don’t you want to marry me? Don't you love me?” She heaved a sigh and looked away. “That’s not my reason.”

“So you do love me?” He asked before he smirked. She briskly glared at him and looked away, “I still won’t answer this question.” He threw his head back laughing. She looked at his smiling face and realized she had missed him a lot. How could she say no to him again now? “Okay tell me your reason for rejecting me.”

“Well.... It’s just that.... I am really afraid of mommy and then your wife... I just....”

“But no one would dare hurt you dalia. Daddy has approved of this, your uncle and mama too. So why are you even afraid?” He asked her. Her eyes bulged out, her uncle knew too? She turned her head away smiling sheepishly.

“Okay listen to me; I love you. That means I would defend you with my life even if the odds were insurmountable. It means I will comfort you in the difficult and painful times. It means I will dance and rejoice with you when times are good. It means I will never betray you, never give up on you. I will never abandon you and I am yours for eternity.” He stared at her unblinking eyes for moments. Minutes passed but she never uttered a word to him. Why wasn't she saying anything? She was going to reject him again, he declared in his mind. He raised his brow, “so? Do I get a yes or I have to go back home bleeding?” He spoke teasingly.

She blinked her eyes as she smiled, her cheeks flushing and warm. She lowered her head and slowly nodded her head. His eyes bulged open as his mouth hung open. She said yes? “Yes? You will marry me? That’s what you mean right?” She chuckled softly and nodded again. “Uh... ya Rabb.... Alhamdulillah... thank you, thank you for saying yes. In sha Allah I will make you the happiest wife ever.” She smiled at him, “I pray so.”

He continued soothing her till they arrived home. “Can I come in? I need to talk to mama about this.” He looked around their neighbourhood before he settled his gaze on her. “I will go tell her you’re here.” She dropped down from the car and ran off. He also got out go the car knowing she wouldn't come back.

Dalia ran passed her mother to her room. Amina looked at the door when she heard his voice. She stood up from the stool as she answered his greetings. “Muhsin, you’re welcome.” She spread the weaved mat for him. They exchanged pleasantries before he started off with what brought him. “She had finally came back to her senses. No wonder she came in and ran off to her room.” He ducked his head more as he smiled sheepishly.

“I am very glad she has accepted it. I will tell her uncle and they will discuss everything with Alhaji. May Allah bless you and protect you.” He thanked her before he announced he was leaving.

A good way to finish off his day. But a bad one on how to start telling his parents he was getting married, especially his father. What if they rejects his request with the reason he was marrying his fathers’ close friend’s daughter? Another huge tax in hand.