Chapter 45: Chapter 45

True to his word Luca had picked me up two hours later. Not a second before or a minute later. He was curious to know what was in the box as I got into the Beast. I smiled and clicked my tongue telling him he would have to wait for dessert to find out. I was rewarded with one of his toe-curling smiles I rarely saw. When we arrived at his penthouse I put the dessert into the fridge. Luca went to wash up and get into something more comfortable. I spot a bottle of wine sitting on the bench. I take out two wine glasses from the cupboard and pop open the bottle. I fill up the glasses halfway and take them into the living room placing them on the coffee table.

“Do you think you should be drinking Vanessa?” I feel his breath on the nape of my neck.

I slowly turn around and face him.

“I’m sorry,” I say as I scrunch my nose up at him.

“I saw the wine and instantly thought Yayyy. I wasn’t thinking.” I sigh.

While the whole time my self conscious was screaming at me "You should leave! The last time you were here to talk you ended up fucking and now possibly pregnant. He’s hunting his prey. And... you are his prey silly."

Luca nods his head with a blank expression on his face. One of his unreadable expressions I have grown accustomed to.    He moves around me then picks up the glasses taking them to the kitchen. He pours both glasses down the sink. I move over to the big window and look down at the traffic wrapping my arms around myself. This particular window and I have had a more stable relationship than we have. Moments later I feel him approach me from behind and I turn to face him.

“Green Tea.” He hands me a steaming mug.

I happily accept it and find an ounce of comfort in the heat that exudes from it.

“Thank you.” I smile at him and take a small sip.

“You look worn out. Come.” He takes the Green tea from my hands and leads me back into the living room. He Sets the mug gently on the coffee table, I take a seat and he sits beside me slightly shifting his body to face me.

“Talk to me.” He places his hand on my shoulder and gives it a small squeeze.

“Where do I begin.” I sigh and momentarily hang my head trying to build up the courage to talk.

“I miss your voice, anything you say will help ease my nerves.” He quietly says.

“You’re nervous?” I look up surprised.

“Si, I feel as if I need to walk on eggshells around you. I don’t want to fuck this up and send you running from me again. When you run my only instinct is to chase you. But.. I know that chasing you only causes you to run further and to tell you the truth... I will never get tired of chasing you, Vanessa.” He takes my hand in his and brings it to his lips. He lightly opens my hands and presses a kiss on each palm never breaking eye contact.

“But I fear I may have pushed you to the edge this time where there is no return.” He says worriedly.

“I know you feel as if I betrayed you and I physically used you.” He angrily mumbles to himself in his native tongue and stands abruptly in front of me. His eyes never leaving mine.

“I thought I was doing the right thing by honouring my brother and Niece..”

“Our Niece!”  I quickly interrupt him.

“Si, Our Niece.” He smiles briefly. “I like the sound of Our.” He momentarily pauses. “But I failed. Not only did I fail orders to observe from a distance and keep you safe. I've managed to hurt the only female that matters to me. The only one who's been able to slowly chip away at the wall that’s been built around my heart. Giovanni had a good laugh when I mentioned this to him... He got a split lip in return” A faint smile crosses his face.

“You shared this with Giovanni?” My cheeks start to burn with embarrassment.

“Si, he is my brother. If I had not conversed with him about my feelings and asked for some brotherly advice.  I don’t think I would have come to you in time.” He sighs deeply.

“There is talk in the wind that you and Sanz have been getting to know each other on a better level.”

He holds his hand up and shakes his head cutting me off before I’m able to defend myself.

“But we both know how possessive of you I can get. So the poor Bastardo will never stand a chance with you romantically.”

“Luca, what are you trying to say?” I’m slightly feeling confused.

Go, Leave now...

It’s a trap...

He’s trying to trap you.

“I guess... No! I know I want to be with you. And not because your stomach may swell with our child but because I enjoy your company. I enjoy touching you and I’m slowly learning how to embrace the warmth my heart absorbs when I am in your presence. You're everything and so much more I could have wished for Vanessa. I guess you have always been the one from the start...” He sits back down next to me and places my hand in his.

“Your performances at the clinic must have struck a chord in my heart all those years ago.” He smiles at me.

“And now?” I ask him as my eyes start to cloud up with tears.

“Now... you are the most exquisite being I have ever laid eyes on...” He leans in and gently kisses me.

“You are strumming those cords back to life like a little superstar you have always been Mio Caro.” He quietly says against my lips before he gently claims them.

“Luca..” I gently move back breaking our connection.

“If this is going to work we need to take this slow, like... really slow. There will be no sex between us until I can emotionally let you back in again.” I tap my hand against my chest softly.

“Can I still touch you in other ways?” He asks sounding disappointed.

I mentally facepalm myself.

“We will cross that bridge when we get there okay?”

“I just want to kiss you.” His brows furrow.

‘Oh, I won't stop you from kissing me.” I roll my eyes at him

“I want to kiss you here..” He touches my lips

“And....” His hand slowly trails down the front of me.

“Here.” His hand dips into the front of my pants finding the swollen nub, he slowly rubs his finger in a gentle circular motion causing my body to shudder with pleasure. I tightly grip his assaulting arm to stop him.

I’ll stop him soon, just give me a minute to gain the strength I need to do so.

When his soft lips touch the base of my neck it is my undoing. I violently push him back against the sofa and straddle him.

“Why?” I kiss him feverishly. “Why do you always need to use sex to try and make me yield to you, Luca?”

I run my tongue along the seam of his lips before sucking on his bottom lip and biting down lightly breaking the skin. A low growl escapes from the back of his throat, his hands firmly grip my hips trying to get the friction he needs by rolling my hips back and forth against his erection.

Snap out of it Nessa!

I push my hands against his chest and quickly jump off of him. I run my hands through my hair and walk to the other side of the room getting as much distance between us as I can.  When he goes to get up from the sofa I hold a hand up and shake my head stopping him.

“This..” I wave my hand back and forth between us.

“Is how we ended up here in the first place. Sex is what got us here. We.. you cant always rely on sex to fix everything.” I say to him pissed off. Not at him but myself for letting him get the better of me.

“I know and I’m sorry,” Luca says painfully.

“I want to make this work between us,” I say softly.

“Si, I do too.”  He frowns as he says the words.

“Jeez.” I chuckle. “Don’t look too ecstatic about it.”

“It’s just...” he sighs deeply.

“I don’t want to let you go. I have never said the words and mean them as I do right now.” His face sobers.

“What I did is unforgivable and I accept that full-heartedly and I can never truly ask you to forgive me. I know I will never forgive myself for the pain and heartache that I have caused you. But Amore Mio, we both know how much of a selfish Bastardo I can be when it comes to you. And for that, I am not sorry.” He smiles at me feeling proud of himself.

I walk to him and place my hand on his jaw softly caressing the stubble.

“Thank-you. I can forgive you, Luca. It’s just gonna take time and a lot of your patience.”

I remove my hand from his face and sit down on the sofa. Luca sits and takes my hand in his. I look at our hands and smile. It feels.... right. And this is why we have to do this the right way. If we're going to make this work.

“ I want you to hear me out okay.” I look at him and he nods.

“I think after tonight we should refrain from seeing each other daily. We can still have lunch on the odd occasion or dinner. I mean, we can talk to each other every night on the phone even snap chat.” He looks at me oddly. Yeah... I don’t think he has a clue what that is.

“I just think we need to get to know each other more without us having to take our clothes off.” I nervously bite on my lower lip hoping he will agree with me.

“Si, I can abide by your new rules.” He says after a while.

“There are no rules to this Luca. But I am requesting it for the better of our relationship.”  I place my hand on my stomach.

“I want us to be mentally ready for each other if we are to conceive.”

My throat closes up thinking about our child I may be carrying. I know it's not confirmed yet. But I will curl over dead before bringing a child into an unstable environment. Lucas's hand rests on top of mine.

“I will wait for you.” He kisses me on the lips gently.

“You take all the time you need Mio Caro, just know that when you are ready I will be waiting with open arms.”

I wrap my arms around Luca's waist and snuggle into him. After a while, he settles back onto the sofa making himself more comfortable. He then swings me over his lap and cradles me as he whispers sweet things in my ear in Italian.