Chapter 33: Chapter 33
“Like fuck you do! You walk in there guns blazing. You leave your good girl morals at the door. Do you hear me? There is a time and place that you bring your over analysing pretty head into personal situations and this… this is not one of them. You’re a fighter and you need to keep fighting Nessa.” He demands.
He takes a bite from his rack of ribs and I burst out laughing as the sauce drips all over his shirt possibly staining it.
“Fuck, shit…shit...” He mutters.“Jeez, I swear I’m not usually this messy.” He grabs the cloth napkin on the table and dips it into his glass of water, then tries to dab at the forming stain.
“Here let me.” I get up from my chair and kneel in front of him taking the napkin off him. I try to get as much sauce as I can out of his shirt.
“I think your shirt may make a full recovery Headmaster Sanz” I look up and smile at him.
He wipes his forehead with the back of his hand.
“That was a close one huh?” He gasps.
“Yes, you’re lucky you had my expertise on deck,” I say firmly trying not to laugh.
“You’re a keeper.” He looks at his watch.
“It’s getting late, I should take you home so you can rest up for your long drive tomorrow.”
He stands and helps me to my feet. We walk up to the counter and Sanz pays for our dinner after we have a small debate on who’s going to pay. The waitress was wise to take his credit card once he offered her a thirty per cent tip on top of the meal. We walk to the car in silence, I look over the roof of the car as Sanz opens his door.
“Sanz.” He looks up.
“Thanks… Thanks for listening, it means a lot.” I open the door and get in the car,
Sanz gets in and starts the car.
“I’m here if you need to talk or wanna hang out.” He tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear. “Or if you just wanna fuck that’s cool with me too.” I laugh and punch him in the arm.
"Ewwww." He lamely mimics.
“I wouldn’t hold my breath mate.” I wink at him and put my seat belt on.
“Well, it was worth a try.” He chuckles, putting his belt on and drives me home.
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The BMW was parked out in front of the house when Sanz dropped me off last night. I missed Roman by five minutes so I texted him and thanked him again before I went to bed. I was on the road at nine o’clock this morning and made a few stops along the way admiring the view and taking some photos, I stopped in Rotorua and got a ninety-minute beauty therapy session then I took a dip in their mud baths before I hit the road again. I made another stop in Palmerston North to grab a late lunch and stretch my legs. I drive the rest of the way to Wellington ignoring Romans request to stop for a nights rest. I didn't do it on purpose, I just couldn't shake the feeling of the need to be there as soon as possible. I check in at the Bolton Hotel snagging a suite on the second level. I put my suitcase on the bed and walk around the suite having a look.
My inner child jumps up and down with excitement. I have a spa and a huge bed that can fit at least five people on it. I have to remind myself that I'm not here for my pleasure. I’ve come to get answers from the least two favourite people in my small miserable life. Haven’t eaten since lunch and it is now a little after midnight it's too late to ring up for any room service. So I pick up my purse and go to the twenty-four-hour mart and pick up some toiletries, a large bottle of flavoured water and a frozen meal pack to heat up when I get back to my room.
On the way back I drive down the street we use to live on and park outside our old house with the engine still running. There’s a swing set, trampoline, and kids bikes scattered across the front lawn. The house is still an ugly beige colour. It's obviously being occupied by another family. I hope this house will supply them with some precious memories unlike it did for us. I look up to the window that led to Celeste’s old room and wonders what the room looks like now. Who’s sleeping in there and do they know life had been taken in there.
"I’m so sorry sis you brave beautiful woman," I say to myself.
You sacrificed your life to save your loved ones and kept them together. I wipe the tears from my eyes with my sleeve and sigh deeply. This whole time I thought she had abandoned me, she didn't and I’m not alone anymore. I have a niece, a niece I was forbidden to know of. How fuckin dare they make that decision for me! My parents had no right to keep this from me and Luca should've never put me in this position. I take one last look at the house and go back to my suite to shower. I eat my frozen meal and think of ways to try and involve myself in Rosalia's life. I have to be a part of her life, shit... I need her in my life! She's the only blood family I have left. After I finish eating I go to bed and rest up for the big confrontation tomorrow.
I’m sitting in my mother’s driveway parked behind my fathers' pick-up truck. My hands are a sweaty mess and my nerves are on edge. I take a deep breath and count to three then I unclip my belt and exit the car slowly walking to the front door. I knock and seconds later my mother opens the door greeting me.
“Vanessa, oh it’s so nice to finely see you again after all these years” she leans in and presses a fake kiss to my cheek.
“Mother, I wish I could say the same but at this point. I can’t.” I coldly say and watch the expression on her face turn from polite to annoyance.
“Well do come in then, no point in exchanging fake pleasantries now is there?” she snickers coldly.
“I guess not.” I walk into the living room and my dads sitting on the sofa with a cold beer in his hand.
“Dad, Isn’t it a bit early to be drowning your soulless sorrows?” I take a seat on the recliner and my mother sits on the far end of the sofa that my father is sitting on.
“Don’t take that tone with me, Vanessa, Just hurry up and let’s get this over with.” He spits out with a slight slur taking a large swig of his beer.
“Right.” I look at them both and realise they look old as fuck. Their lies and guilt taking a toll on them maybe? Pifffft doubts it.
“I know the truth about Celeste. Giovanni’s younger brother Luca filled me in on everything.” I look at them both scowling with tears of anger building up. “How could you?”
“Hey, hey!” My father yells. “Don’t you walk back into our lives after years of being gone and accuse us of shit you don’t know anything about!”
“Don’t I? So Celeste wasn’t pregnant and you...” I look directly at my mother with disdain. “You didn’t threaten to have Giovanni put in jail for rape and to have the baby put into foster care?” They both look at each other speechless.
“Yeah, my thoughts exactly. How can you two live with yourselves? Do you have no guilt whatsoever?”
They're both silent for several beats before my mother speaks up.
“She was young. She had her whole life in front of her and she just had to go and get herself pregnant with our doctor's son. The shame she had shunned upon this family was unforgivable. You have no idea.” She says with her head held high.
“The shame? Are you fucking kidding me right now?” I yell at them. “The shame? So.. what do you call it when you tell people that Celeste killed herself to keep her lover out of prison from rape charges and to give her baby a fighting chance with his family?” I ask refusing to let them blame anyone but themselves.
“A tragedy, a very unnecessary tragic loss.” My dad looks up with glassy eyes.
“Really? I would call it anything but tragic. It was preventable. She would still be here alive today if you would've just given up your perfect family appearance. You cared too much about what other people thought or said behind your back instead of trying to protect your flesh and blood!” I rub my hands profusely up and down my thighs causing them to burn against the fabric of my jeans.
“What about me? You gave up on me too in the end. I was just an innocent child at the time mourning the loss of my best friend. I felt more alone with every passing day. Then you decided to become a drunk and you.” I look at my father. “Decided to leave me alone with my alcoholic mother and run off with a teacher from my school.”
“How dare you talk to us this way, we are still your parents and you will do well to remember to respect us! You hear me, CHILD?” My father speaks up angrily.
“Oh, I dare!” I stand up glaring at him. “You ruined everything for me." My voice trembles with sorrow. "Celeste lives through her daughter you know the baby you sent away!! An innocent baby…” I sob. “You should've never threatened her she needed your hand in guidance and you drove her away. You drove both of us away!”
“No…No, no… Your sister chose her path. We didn’t give her the bottle of tablets, did we? All we wanted was the best for her and she chose the easy way out.” My mother says emotionlessly.
“Did you even think to ask her what she wanted?”
“She was too young to make the right decisions, if she had just kept her legs closed none of it would've happened. That boy drove her to it he just had to have his way with her and she was too weak and stupid to walk away.”
“You heartless old cow!” I scream at her harshly.
My father takes a step towards me with his face full of rage.
“And you’re a coward! You let her get away with this! How can you let her talk about Celeste that way?” I roughly wipe the tears streaming down my face.
“How dare you..” He raises his hand at me with the devil in his eye.