Chapter 26: Chapter 26

Layla rolled to the other side of the bed, it's been three days since she had a good nights sleep, since she heard about Jawad's possible wedding, since she told them they never had a chance.

It wasn't any better today, she craned her neck to the side of her bedside clock, in bold red numbers it read 11:24pm and she sighed, less than an hour and she would be twenty five, did she feel different? She couldn't tell.

you've achieved nothing in the twenty five years, she squinted her eyes to stop the tears from falling. She wanted to scream, she graduated first Class honors from Harvard University, only because he was there, he's always there, you don't deserve him.

“Stop it, shut up!” she whispered unable to yell like she wanted to, like she needed to.

Waleedah is getting married and you can't keep a man, dada was right, you're bad luck, nothing good will come from you.

She didn't fight the tears this time, she let them fall wetting her pillow, the same pillow Jawad gifted her when she got accepted into Harvard, it has her name embrioded, she could remember what he said after he sent it, he'd called her on video call and after congratulating her said the words that made her laugh, “It'll soak up all your tears that'll fall, it'll be rough, but whenever you feel like crying, cry on this so it reminds you to fight always because I have your back.” he smiled and then added in a low voice “I always will.”

A sob racked through body, she brought her hands up to her mouth to silence it, she didn't want anyone to comfort her, she needed to feel the pain she's caused people over the years, only then will she feel peace, at least she thought.

Dada, their grandmother was right, she has nothing good in her and only brings pain and anguish, she was a selfish despicable person, but not anymore, she's letting Jawad go, she'll be selfless because he deserves happiness and she's nothing but sorrow.

“I'm so sorry, so so sorry.” she said to no one in particular, she didn't know what she was apologizing for, maybe for being alive.

Her hands shook as she reached for her bedside drawer and pulled it open, the small bottle laid there unused, she'd remember how happy she was when the doctor said she didn't need to use it anymore, unless it was absolutely necessary, that is when they come back, but they are back now and like they've always been after she shuts them, more aggressive, angry and loud, very loud it's deafening her.

She picked the bottle of water Abba brought to her after dinner, like the past days, she didn't eat with the family, alhaji Tafida had entered her room and kissed her goodnight, Waleedah tried to convince her to go out but she refused, she was helping all of them by staying away and they should let her.

She took a deep breath first then opened the lid of the sleeping pills, she dropped six on her palms, it was over her dosage but she didn't mind, she needed to sleep because she was slowly losing her mind.

She contemplated popping them in her mouth but stopped, she'd resisted the past three days and she shouldn't give in, a more cynical part of her told her it was the only way to stop the pain, the logical part of her refused to accept that, she let the inner battle distract her but she knew it wouldn't last, a ping made her almost jump out of her skin, she closed the pills in her palms and searched for the phone in the dim light her hands flailing on the bed till she touched the cold solid object.

She brought the phone to her face, The brightness hurt her eyes making her squint in discomfort, her heart beat increased so much that it was thudding against her chest, she tapped the message icon, it was from an unknown number but she had an inkling on who it was and when she saw the two words, the tears came back full force, the world is too good for her.

**** **** ****

There were two things Khadijah hated when she was sleeping, people's voices and the sound of her phone ringing, it was the latter that woke her up, she hissed in her sleep and reached for the object of her discomfort, she tapped the screen blindly hoping that somehow it's the ignore button, when she heard the last voice she would have wanted to hear on this earth, she sat up angrily and put the phone to her ear.

“What?!” manners were the last thing on her mind since apparently the person on the other hand doesn't know either, if not why would he be calling her in the dead of the night.

“Not a morning person, sorry to disturb you sleep but you should wake up and pray.” Abdulmalik must be the dumbest person in the universe or perhaps delusional, she hung up to prevent herself from saying something that would made him wonder why he was brought into the world.

She stomped to the bathroom angrily and washed her face, freshened up and went back to her room, she prayed two raka'at nawafils then picked her Quran, she recited until she heard the iqamah from a nearby mosque, she closed it and kept it back on her shelf, she prayed and when she was done rested her head on the edge of her bed, going back to sleep would be pointless she knew so she didn't bother.

Just who does that stupid Malik think he is? She questioned her anger at an all time high.

Not wanting to give him the benefit of ruining her day, she walked to the kitchen her tablet in hand making sure everything was planned, she and Layla were going to spend the day together doing all her favourite things, shopping, getting their hair done and going to a baby store, a weird hobby but Layla loves babies clothes and she buys out of the blue. Khadijah thought it would be a good idea so she can buy baby clothes for Sadiya.

“Good morning.” she greeted her mother who was sat on a stool with a bowl in her, she was mixing furiously.

“Good morning, how was your night?” she replied with Alhamdulillah.

“What can I help you with?” hajiya Ladidi shook her head no, Khadijah saw it coming, her mother didn't like anyone helping her in the kitchen, her reason, if she wanted to do something, then she would do every part of it. That was also the reason she refused a maid that would live with them, only one that comes in the morning and evening.

“The size is okay for her right, that girl is so skinny, she should be eating much and not starve herself like all those people, wait I'll give you a list of good food with fibre that'll make her look more healthy.” Khadijah grinned at the serious look on her mother's Face, she wanted to ask if it was the Layla she always frowns whenever she sees her she wants to write list of foods for.

“That will be good, her mother will thank you.” she said instead, walking to the counter where the cake was kept to cool, four equally sized cakes sat on the a cooling rack, dark like she always made, Khadijah could perceive the sweet scent of chocolate, cocoa and coconut from where she stood. “It's perfect, ya Sadiya would love it too.”

“Don't mind that your sister, I'll take it to her myself, since it's only her father she knows, she hasn't come to this house or bring the children over for how many weeks now? And we live in the same city, it's only Allah that knows how she would've been If they lived in Bauchi with her in laws, since she prefers them to us.”

Khadijah only shook her head, everyone knows Sadiya didn't like leaving her house, and Abdul is the type of person that liked his children close to him, and his brother and cousin that live in kaduna have gotten tired of telling her to visit or at least send the children over, so they were all frankly on the same level. Though she doesn't see her fault, Basma is a sickler and any much stress night land her in a hospital bed, and knowing how children are, she would pray around roughly with her siblings when they are out stressing herself.

“She will come soon, Basma is sick and with renovation the house, she's busy for the most part and with the baby on the way, I don't think she should stress herself any more than she already is.”

“May Allah grant her shifa, I'll go see her too, she likes changing that house up and down, it is even Abdul that will just be agreeing with her unnecessary drama.” Khadijah laughed because it was true, whatever idea Sadiya cooks up, he goes with it happily  though she found it cute, but she didn't voice it to her mother.

“I made pancakes for breakfast, since your father isn't around, you know how he doesn't like it.” Khadijah nodded yes and fetched a plate, she placed two warm pancakes on it and added syrup, she made her usual black coffee and ignored the look her mother is sending her “Add small sugar in that bitter thing, diabetes won't kill you with one spoon of sugar.”

“Umma” Khadijah drawled like a child, she couldn't take coffee with sugar and tea, let her not even go there.

“You're the one that know.” she mentally skipped when she saw she's given up, she ate while her mother worked in companionable silence.

She couldn't remember when last it was this peaceful between the both of them, no snide remarks or angry mumblings, just peace, like its supposed to be between mother and daughter, she prayed for it to continue like this.

When she was done eating, she washed the plate and cup and left to get dressed.

Khadijah rummaged through her wardrobe for more than ten minutes unable to decide what to wear, everything looked too heavy, formal or too ceremonious that was just her opinion though, she peeped and saw the time read 10:05am, with a groan she worked faster.

At last she picked umber colored pallazo pants and ivory colored stretch top with long sleeves. She packed her unruly hair making a mental note to plait when they get to the salon, combing and styling isn't her thing, she wrapped her head with a mocha Veil, her hoop earrings lay on her vanity mirror and phone beside it, she hooked the earrings and put the phone in her Dior chain bag.

“Umma I'm going out, I'll be back later for the cake.”

“Okay, be safe.” she heard her mother's voice from her bedroom, she picked her car keys from the console and walked out, thankful Sabiu, the security at the plaza her shop is, washed it, he always does that and she made a mental note to tip him.

Her phone rang when she drove out of their compound, with a sigh she answered sinve it's Fahad.

“Good morning.” his deep voice sounded over the phone, she steadied her breath before replying, she didn't know why but she felt on edge.

“So I have good news and bad news, which do you want to hear first?” she hummed and she heard a sigh “Well, I'll send you someone's phone number now, it's the manager of the restaurant and he'll get everything ready and you just tell him if you have other things that you need to add or any specifications,” he took a deep breath before continuing “I would have done it but I'm sort of not around, hope you can manage?”

“Yes no problem, thank you for all your help.” she replied half mindedly turning the street to the Aliero manor.

“Don't mention, have fun tonight, bye.” she replied with bye and hung up the same time the gate was pulled open, a car was driving out and she moved her car to the side, the tint black Camry drove pass her, she parked in Layla's usual spot which can also be called hers since she always parked there.

“Good afternoon Dee, I knew you would come so please help me give this to Layla, she doesn't want anyone in her room or so I heard, but I know she'll let you, thank you.” Layla's younger sister, Raina she think her name is pushed a wrapped gift in her hand and ran off before she could reply.

She entered the quiet house, only a maid was dusting already sparkling clean surfaces but she didn't judge so she sent her a smile asked if Layla was in room which she replied yes, she hugged the box closer to her and started the journey up the stairs, she was heaving by the time she got to the second floor.

Like the last time she was there, the door was locked, she rebalanced the box in one hand and used the other to knock, after a minute without a response or any sound to indicate the person inside was moving, she knocked again.

She told there for a little over five minutes then she heard footsteps, instinctively she turned and saw Mamie with a tray in her hands, she kept Raina's gift and helped her with the tray simultaneously greeting her.

“How are you my dear? That friend of yours has been leaving us like this please help me talk some sense into her.” she knocked on the door too and when she didn't hear an answer her heart beat picked up “Layla open the door this instant, this is enough.” she voiced worried.

It's normal for Layla to close her door but to not open it is another thing, she a very light sleeper so she must not be sleeping, after five minutes of knocking with no response, she rushed down the stairs calling out Asad and Shaheed because they were the only ones at home.

“Ma'am, they both went out about half an hour ago but I think sir Kabir is around.”

“Please call him and ask the security to get the spare key to Layla's room this instant.” she ordered walking to her husband's side praying silently Layla didn't do anything stupid.

She should have paid more attention to her, her heart thudded against her chest and tears filled her eyes, it all came back and she hated the fact that it felt all too familiar.

“Ya Allah please let her be okay.”

Khadijah who kept the tray in the living room she ate lunch the other tried knocking and calling out her friends name, her brain was fuzzy and eyes filled to the brim with tears, she didn't want to think the worst but when a person closes off and you know they are in pain, you won't exactly feel okay when they aren't talking.

“Habib is coming with a bunch of keys, he didn't know which is for her room so he brought all.” Deena announced before realizing she was alone, she walked up the stairs and saw only Khadijah standing at the door looking hopeless.

“She's going to be fine.” she muttered and tried to put the confidence she wasn't feeling in her voice.

“I know, but we don't know if she'll be the same.” Khadijah's voice was firm.

Kabir walked up the stairs with a uniformed man in tow, they tried tried three keys before they got the right one.

Kabir pulled the door open and walked into the pitch black room with Khadijah in tow, he moved his hand where he hoped the light switch would be and let out a relived sigh when he felt it and switched it.

They heard and gasp from Deena and turned to her alarmed, she pointed to a figure beside the bed.