Chapter 66: Chapter 66

LXVI

I yawn and run my hand over Axel's curls while he sleeps, his head leaning on my breast as always. "Mmm." he mumbles and I chuckle at him. We're laying inbetween the soft sheets in our room here at Evan and Oscar's house.

I still feel slightly bad about ruining Axel's shirt with... blood, but he did ruin my panties so I keep telling myself that we're equal. Poor person who finds a bloody shirt in the middle of a beach.

"Axel, wake up. I'm bored." I whine but he only grunts so I huff out and begin to stand up from the bed, slightly clumsily because of the soreness present. When I sit up, I notice the note from yesterday on the nightstand next to me. I reach out and grab it.

Standing up, I go to the toilet, holding the note in my hands and begin to read.

It will be years now since she moved,

And we will fail to keep in touch,

So her memory will all be faded,

Like a book I've read too much

I feel a chill spread down my body, almost leaving me paralized at words I quickly reread to make sure I'm not envisioning this.

"So you've read it." I hear the all too familiar voice behind me.

I whip around and look at him.

"You know?" I ask, my voice shaky.

"Of course I know." he says, but what shocks me is that his voice is not angry. His voice is sad, heartbroken. "You were planning to leave me and you didn't even tell me." he accuses me, his eyes glossy.

"How did you-" my voice breaks.

"Theo." he says and all air is pushed out of me. "I had to find from him. From fucking Theo."

"I'm sorry." I whisper.

"You don't have to be sorry. You can still stay with me." he says, his voice gentle, almost begging me, while he makes a few quick steps towards me and wraps his arms around me tightly. "Can't you see how fucking good it all could be? We don't even have to go back to that shit town, we could stay here. I have enough money."

"You did all of this to try to convince me to stay?" I ask and he nods.

"I can't be without you. I'm not just saying that because every fucking romantic hero says that, but because I really can't fucking be without you. Sophie, the last weeks have been the only weeks of my life that actually made sense, that actually made me want to live, because I could live with you. We could have it all, you know we could. I don't ever want to- no, I can't imagine living without you again. I'll give you all, I swear. Whatever you want, whatever you need, it's yours if only you'll stay with me." he rants.

He pushes my hair back, his hands are shaky. "I can't go back to how I was. I can't, Sophie." he sounds weak and here I go, hurting people around me again, this time the person that I love the most.

"Axel, we have to finish school, and I can't stay in Missoula." I tell him.

"Why not? You can stay with me." he says and I shake my head.

"No, I feel like I'm using you for money and apartment like that."

"You're not, I like spending money on you. It makes sense to me." he says, taking the blue heart hanging around my neck inbetween his fingers.

"I don't like it." I say, feeling his chest.

"Well, then get a job or something, anything, just don't leave me." he says and I shake my head.

"You could come with me." I say and he immediately shakes his head.

"No, I can't."

"Why not?"

He huffs. "Because I don't belong there and I can't just leave my job behind like that."

"Your job?" I raise my brow. "You can't be serious."

"I am, though. You know what my work is like." he says, quietly.

"You could finally quit working like that, Axel, it's a perfect opportunity." I try to convince him but he shakes his head.

"No, I'm not moving." he says, his voice determined.

"Well, I am." I say and he takes a step away from me.

"So what? We're done then?" he spits.

"We don't have to be over, we can still see each other on weekends." I say, looking down at my feet as he huffs out again.

"No fucking way, I won't just have a relationship on weekends."

My heart jumps slightly at the word relationship. Sophie, not now. You're literally just breaking up with him.

"I don't want to lose you." I whisper and he doesn't say anything for a few moments.

"Well, it sure doesn't look like it." he says. "I mean, what was the fucking point of it all if you're leaving me anyway? What was the point of me changing, of us rebelling against your fucking dad, of me climbing into your fucking bedroom every night. What was the point of me shooting that fucker, of you almost getting raped because of all the shit, what was the point of us loving each other if it wasn't gonna last anyway?" I've never heard him sound like this before, and it would be scary if I didn't know the situation better.

"I thought I was gonna spend the rest of my fucking life with you." he whispers before storming away from me, down the hall and a second later I can hear the front door slam shut.

I fall to the ground, wanting to disappear as tears flow like waterfalls fown my cheeks. Wolfie comes to me, licking my face when I take him in my hands and hug him.

"I don't deserve your comfort, Wolfie." I sob out as he licks my face. "I don't deserve any of it."

"What's going on? Are you crying, Soph?" Oscar's alarmed voice says as he hurries to me and takes me in his hands. "Oh, baby girl, what happened?"

"I'm a terrible person." I sob out wrapping my arms around his neck, crying into his shoulder.

"You're not, sweetie. Did Axel tell you that?"

I shake my head. "No, I know I am. He- he found out that I'm moving and-" my voice breaks.

"You're moving?" Oscar questions and I nod. "Why?"

"Because I want to start over, but that doesn't mean that I don't want him anymore. I l-love him, Oscar, I don't w-want to leave him, I just want a fresh start."

"You had a rough few months, haven't you?" he says and I nod. "How did you know?"

"I could see it in your eyes. They hold some kind of sadness in them." he tells me and wipes away my tears. "Can I tell you what I think?" he asks and I nod.

"I think that if your love is real, it's not going to ever die. If he loves you as much as he says he does, he's not going to let you go just like this. He wouldn't be able to."

I sniffle. I guess he's right.

"Let's get you off the floor, come on." he cooes and lifts me to my feet.

"Thank you, Oscar." I thank him and he smiles. "Anytime, baby girl."

After that, I go back to bed, taking Wolfie with me to pet him a bit and to cry out my emotions. Axel doesn't return and after half an hour, I realize that I can't just be like this and that I need to go back home. I don't want to just leave him here, but I doubt he wants to look at me anyway, so Oscar gives me and Wolfie a ride back to the airport before we even had lunch. It doesn't matter; I can't eat anyway.

Oscar goes with me, buys me the airplane ticket and tells the guy at the x-ray to let me through, because he happens to be one of his best friends. Honestly, I've got more luck than I deserve.

The taxi driver back home takes me back to Axel's house and the sight of it almost brings me down to my knees again. I pack my things in a hurry, call mum to tell her I'm leaving and then call Liam to ask him to drive me to the train station.

No matter how much pain and sorrow this place has brought me, I was blessed with people I'll never forget here.

Liam and Amber take me to the train station, not even bothering to ask how Axel took it when they see the state that I'm in. Amber spends the car ride with me in the back, comforting me and petting Wolfie, making me promise to come visit as often as possible. I tell her that I will, and with one last hug to both of them, I step on the train, embracing the new journey in front of me with open hands, but with a closed heart.

THE END

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