Chapter 12: Chapter 12

The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.

-Bob Marley

I was on my way back to campus after the break, when the incidence with Yusuf and father started to replay in my mind. I couldn’t sleep for the best part of that night; I kept tossing and turning on my bed wondering what had happened to Yusuf. When I did manage to close my eyes I woke up with a nightmare screaming at the top of my lungs. I saw Yusuf in a pool of blood; a bald headed man was holding some fetish pot using a white cloth to pack his blood into it.

I left my room and knocked Ibrahim’s door. He opened after some minutes and stood at the side of the doorway holding the door ajar. “Why are you roaming the house at the middle of the night?” he asked still drowsy from sleep. “I can’t sleep, I had a nightmare. Can I come in please?” He seemed to think about it for a minute, and then he opened the door widely to let me into his room. I came in and sat down on a chair and saw for the first time that the only piece of clothing on Ibrahim was his thigh length boxer. His chest muscles were well defined full of hairs he could braid them if he wanted to. He caught me looking at him and I averted my eyes. He went to collect his jalabia from the hanger and wore it in one fluid movement; put on the main light to check the time and it was few minutes to 4:00. “What happened in your dream?” he asked and I narrated it to him. “Don’t worry nothing bad will happen to him, next time you had a nightmare say authubillah mina shaeton rojeem three times and blow on your left side, it will neutralize the effect. Do you still want to sleep?” “I’ve barely close my eyes all night” I told him. “You can have my bed it’s almost time for my tahajjud” he said. He stood up and went to the bathroom to perform ablution. I laid on his bed and instantly fell asleep.

The sun was shining brightly when I woke up, Ibrahim said he tried to wake me for salat subuhi but I didn’t stand up, of course I didn’t remember him waking me at all. I sat up from bed and after some minutes, “Yusuf!” I exclaimed remembering the reason I was in his room. “I called mother already, he got home safely” he said calmly and I felt a rush of icy coolness in my veins.

The rest of my holiday was monotonous especially after Ibrahim left for Madrasat: I woke up, cleaned the house, eat, call, chat, and sleep. I was like father’s full house wife. At some point I wanted to go out and look for any job I could do. Sales girl perhaps to cure my boredom but he refused insisting I stayed at home to study my books and read Qur’an. When I was leaving his place in the morning, he looked me in the eyes and said, “Any child of mine that refused to follow my directives should not consider me his/her father”. I didn’t know what to make of his warning, was he indirectly saying he had disowned Yusuf and will do it again if I failed to activate his plans for me? I knew better than to ask for clarification so I took it in a pinch. If I could make one wish come through, it would be to save my family from disintegration. But everything was happening too fast and I was helpless, helpless like a log of wood in the midst of an ocean. I had no one I could share my mind with, or lean on for support since Abdullah gradually faded away from my life like he was bidding his time all along.

I got to my room and realized I wasn’t the first person to arrive because the door was unlocked. I pushed it and saw Sholape standing in the middle of the room with most of her things packed. “Good afternoon!” I greeted her dropping my bag and a grocery sack I had with me. “Welcome Aisha” she replied unenthusiastically. “What is with the loads, are you doing some cleaning?” I asked brushing aside her rigid response. “I’m moving out” she said with the tone an unhappy tenant would use for an oppressive landlord. “Why?” I asked. She stopped adjusting the zipper of the bag she used to pack her utensils and turned to face me. “Don’t pretend like things have been smooth between us, our relationship has been topsy-turvy for months now. I figured it is time I move on”. Her words hit home and I felt guilty, I should have forgiven and accepted her back completely. “I don’t want you to leave, I want you stay here with me, let’s be friends again like old times” I said almost pleadingly. She looked into my eyes for the first time and blinked consecutively like she couldn’t believe what she heard. “You still want to be friends with me?” she asked incredulously. “Of course Sholape, you are part of me now, I wouldn’t give you away for anything” I stepped closer and hugged her before she could put up a defense. “My family back home is in crisis I needed to keep this one together by all means” I thought. “Please stay, I wouldn’t leave you until you accept to stay here with me and Rahamat.” She was silent for a very long time. All of a sudden she started giggling and I joined her though I didn’t know what amused her. “You convinced twice better than you issued threat, I’m rest assured that my face wouldn’t be getting pummeled for making bad jokes” she said laughing. I withdrew and punched her shoulder playfully. “Your jokes are not bad but overweight” I said laughing. “Speaking of weight, when did you add these extra kilos?” Sholape asked examining my huge backside. “What you need is the secret sauce of my beauty; it would cost you fifty tosan only”. “Ibadan babe, tosan ko ta orange ni. English people need to sue your city folks for murdering their language.” “It is not our fault. We didn’t invite them to colonize us. If our intonation corrupts the pronunciation of their words, they should take heart” I said smiling. Sholape started to unpack the loads and I helped her to put some of the things back to their places.

Rahamat got back three days later and she noticed the cordial relationship between Sholape and I. “Ehen this is good o. You have finally found a common ground. Allah knows I was fed up with telling Aisha to forgive and forget. She betrayed me!” Rahamat said mimicking my voice. “I trust you to rub it in, Miss rub it on” I said scowling at her while Sholape was smiling. “Since all is well and good now, I hope you wouldn’t start to leave me behind again in this room?” Rahamat asked. Sholape went to sit beside Rahamat and started petting her like a child. “Don’t worry ehn, we can always drop you in a daycare center on our way out” She said. I was rolling with laughter. Although Rahamat was a year older than me, she was so small I could fit her conveniently on my back. Rahamat smirked and batted her hand away. “You don get your voice back abi? Don’t worry I will be there to save your pretty face next time” Rahamat said petulantly. “Oya sorry, person no they play with you again” Sholape said half amused. “Bring that wrapper let me back you” I told Rahamat. “Really!” She exclaimed and jumped on me strapping herself on my back. “I will drop you inside oil if you don’t get down now” I told her and she quickly freed herself from my back. “You should have stayed for some minutes, you know I like roasted meat” Sholape said smiling. “Thank God this room came back to live” Rahamat said.

Gbenga still called me every day but the number of times we see physically had gradually reduced. I asked him if everything was okay, and he said nothing was wrong some personal businesses made him busy. Of course I believed him and chose not to query further since he said it was personal. I tried to call Abdullah to know what he is up to, but his number was no longer reachable and he wasn’t online on any of his social media platforms. I was worried but I told myself all is well, perhaps he lost his contact or something. A general feeling of uneasiness constantly hanged over me, the only time I felt a bit alive was when I’m in the midst of my roommates chatting about everything and nothing. My life had become a seasonal movie; different problems for different episodes.

Father’s discreet threat was constantly gnawing at me whenever I remembered he wouldn’t approve my relationship with Gbenga, mother determination to live her life on her own terms was making reunion with father impossible, and Yusuf rebellious act backed by mother had further divided my family. All these kept playing in my head and messing up my mood. They would soon become least of my worries though when our 100 level results were out and some of my grade sucks. I checked it for the umpteenth time and it was my second semester result that pulled my performances down. I made up my mind to work hard and recover as soon as possible; drew up a timetable and planned my whole day from the first minute. I penciled in the time to make or receive call, so my phone was mostly switched off or put on flight mode. Gbenga didn’t like it at all that he couldn’t reach me anytime he wanted and he kept complaining about my refusal to go out with him. I told him to be patient that things will get back to normal very soon. “Aisha this relationship has been running on your terms for far too long. I hope you know some of the decisions you made might push me to someone else” he said nonchalantly. I narrowed my eyes in anger. “What do you mean by push you to someone else?” He smiled and reached out to drag my cheeks. “I just want to make you jealous, you don’t love me if you are not” he said smiling “no one can take your place here” he rested his palm on the left side of his chest.

I took my lectures seriously and did extra reading both day and night. “If you could spare a fraction of your devotion to education on your deen, you might just be one of the first people to enter Jannat” Rahamat would comment sometimes when she saw me reading. Few times I replied I would say, “Are you the one sharing it or may God help me”. I enjoyed Sholape’s company than Rahamat these days especially since she began to attend some Ahlu-Sunnah classes. If she wasn’t talking about paradise it would be hellfire and it was getting boring. Somehow her religious devotion had rub off on me a little. I performed my obligatory prayers, not always at the right time though but it was unlike when they were nonexistence.

We were edging closer to the end of the semester and I performed excellently in the test scripts that were given to us. It was a good step in the right direction; I was happy but the happiness was short lived when I decided to threw a surprise visit.

I finished my lecture earlier and decided to go to Gbenga’s place. I knew he should be at home because he told me the previous night he wouldn’t be having lecture. He always insisted I called him before showing up in his house, so I dialed his number to confirm if he was around but he didn’t pick up. I went ahead with my plan. When I got to his hostel, I saw his car parked outside. A prove that he was around; Gbenga wouldn’t go as little as 100 metres on foot. I entered his living room and met two of his friends playing video games and drinking beer. “Good afternoon!” I greeted. “Aisha how are you?” Ayo asked and got up hurriedly from his sitting position. “I’m okay and you? I called Gbenga’s line he didn’t pick up” I said looking at Gbenga’s phone on the table. “Urgh! he went out and forgot it”. Sunday excuse himself and was halfway towards the entrance that led to Gbenga’s room when I heard laughter coming from inside the room. “I thought you said Gbenga was not around?” I asked skeptically and moved towards the direction. Sunday wanted to prevent me from going inside but I brushed past him. I opened the door to Gbenga’s room, lo and behold he was snuggling a lady on his bed and it was her laughter I heard from the living room. “Gbenga!” I exclaimed and he jerked away from her. I recognized the lady from the party. “It’s you again kissing booth” I said bitterly. I looked at Gbenga who was still mystified. My vision was blurred with the anger coursing through me. “You deserve each other” I said, dashing out of the room. “Aisha it’s not what you think, let me explain” I heard Gbenga called after me but I didn’t glance back.

Tears welled up in my eyes by the time I got to my hostel, and if someone should stopped me to show a little bit of concern, I would break down. I fixed my eyes on the ground and quickly walked past some people at the verandah. Our door was unlocked, I entered but no one was in the room. Sholape and Rahamat must be among the people I passed outside. I crumpled on my bed crying silently. “What is wrong Aisha? Rahamat entered the room with Sholape on her heels. I couldn’t make my mouth speak; when I tried my words came out in sobs. I heard a knock on the door. “Who is there?” Sholape asked. “It’s Gbenga! Please Is Aisha in?” “I don’t want to see you!” I shouted. “Please let me talk to you, it’s not what you think” he pleaded. “I don’t want to see you or talk to you” I repeated. Rahamat went out to meet him. “She hasn’t told us anything but you can’t reason with her at the moment. You should go.” Rahamat said dismissively and Gbenga had no other choice than to leave.

I found my voice after some time and told my roommates what happened. “That son of a devil!” Rahamat exclaimed. “Please stop crying and cheer up, he doesn’t deserve your tears” she said grimly. Sholape surprised me the most when she knelt down beside me. “I suspected Gbenga was a Casanova before I introduced him to you. But he seemed to change his ways after you got into his life. And I honestly thought you have him under control, until I met him at a bar grinding some girl the day I went out with my boyfriend. I would have told you but I don’t want you to think I’m planning to ruin your relationship. The fault is entirely mine and I’m sorry” she said morosely. I shrugged. “It is okay, my relationship with Gbenga was never without concern. Now that it’s over I can start afresh” I told her. She hugged me and Rahamat joined us for a group hug. I smiled through my damp eyes and was grateful for this family.