Chapter 37: Chapter 37

When Mark came to Kamsi in Abuja, she had thought she wanted to return home. She had felt then she wanted to fight for her home and the first step was to return to it. On returning home, all that elegantly sat in her mind were the pains she had gone through in that house, the hurt she felt while she packed up her things, cloth after cloth with eyes that bled in tears. She had forgiven but she could not forget.

The Reverend's voice still resounded in her head. He had spoken to her the evening after Mark left. He had said in his usual manner of speaking like a sage,

"Divorce is not an option. Marriage is, till death do us part. Things get broken but they can be fixed. God never sleeps, when you call on him, he'll not allow you to be put to shame."

She believed things he said not just because he was the one father he knew but because he was also a servant of God. He had to be right.

It was her first day at work after she returned home. She was met with hugs from few of her colleagues. Someone did not come to work that day so she graced one of the leather padded back seats. She did not want to be there, listening to their incessant talks but she had no choice. She wanted to be at home, maybe lazily loitering about or searching through the television stations for what to feed her eyes.

She bent her head on the desk in front of her and searched for her phone in her hand bag. It had since been on flight mode. She used it just for games these days. She turned off the mode and messages began to flood in, SMS and Whatsapp messages then immediately, Michelle's call came in. She pressed her mute button on and stared at the phone's screen as it continued to ring. It stopped to ring and Michelle called again. She had to pick up because she must have realized that Michelle would not give up.

"You had me on auto dial," She said, attempting a joke.

"I'm not even in that mood now," Michelle replied, not joining her joke. "Where are you? "

"At work," She replied, tracing circles on the wooden table before her. Her eyes noted everyone in the office who seemed to be minding their business. Some were chatting away loudly while some were sleeping amidst the noise.

There was silence on the other end before she heard Michelle sigh heavily.

"Have you been in this town for up to a week and you did not bother telling me? "

"I just told you now," she replied, burying her head in an open palm, suddenly regretting allowing calls into her phone. She did not even bother asking how she knew how long she had been in the town.

"Can you come over after work? I can come and pick you," Michelle said.

Now, she tapped the table and stared out through the window.

"I'm driving home after work. I'm not feeling too well," she replied.

"You know what? Forget this. I'm coming to your office," Came Michelle's reply before the line went dead.

Nobody ever stopped Michelle or Maka, she knew that. She sat staring out through the window knowing that Michelle's car would pull up in an empty space in front of her office anytime. She realized then that she was not like her friends, they pursued whatever they wanted with vigour  but she was someone that her will was dead. That was why sometimes, she hated being in their presence, they reminded her of her weakness.

In the past she had seen people fight but they only got drained and ended up with nothing. She felt that her friends were that strong because they never felt the amount of pain she felt before. She was familiar with that road of people walking away and she knew that when someone chooses to leave, there was no stopping them. It scared her even though she hated to admit it to herself. What if one day, things get so bad and Mark doesn't return home?

She saw Michelle's car then, a grey Toyota fortuner. She parked under a tree but did not come down immediately. People in the office had already noticed the car and they all waited for the driver to come down . Michelle came down after a while. She knew she worked in records units but had never been to her office. She stood by the car and brought out her phone then threw the phone into her bag and began to walk towards the bungalow.

She must have gone to the first office before coming to hers.

"Please I am looking for Kamsi Nwoko, " She asked no one in particular.

"Ego is talking to you! " Someone shouted and some people laughed.

"Michelle." Kamsi carried her already packed handbag and made her way to the door.

"You were watching me from that window," She stated outside the office.

Kamsi did not reply, she just looked at the transparent bucket containing biscuits and another one that had zobo and kunu in it.

Michelle began to walk towards her car and Kamsi followed till she paused behind her car.

"Where are you parked? " She asked.

"There." Kamsi pointed to the camry in front of another building just opposite her office.

"Should we eat out or... " She left the alternative for her to fill in.

She chose to go home to avoid a repetition of unpleasant events.

She shrugged, "I won't stay too long before your husband calls me a bad influence again."

"Did he ever? " she asked immediately.

Michelle waved off the question with a hand and said, "You would lead the way. "

It was Timothy's wife that opened the gate when they came in. Timothy was hardly around since she returned. He only came back at night to leave very early the next morning. Knowing Mark, he would have complained. She was surprised that he said nothing about the new development . She did not mind. As far as she was concerned, Timothy was a good man.

Before she left the house that morning, she had planned her day, planned how she would return to her bed immediately after work to wake up later to prepare dinner, hearing the clicks of Michelle's heels behind her as they climbed the stairs to her front door, was a reminder that her plans had changed.

The television was playing when they came in. Mark was the last to leave in the morning, he must have forgotten to put it off. She settled on the long cushion adjacent to Michelle who was seated on Mark's favorite seat. She kicked off her flats and stretched out in the seat when her head raised, Michelle was staring at her.

"I am sorry, " she said, looking at the television.

Michelle did not reply so she had to turn to look at her sister in-law and friend for even longer than her marriage.

"Kamsi, what's going on? " Michelle asked, concerned in her voice, her eyes and the patience she exercised when Kamsi just turned away again.

"You can talk to me. Nobody is perfect. I already know that, so you can tell whatever is going on."

Kamsi reached out for the remote on the center table but Michelle got to it before her.

"Talk to me na," She pleaded.

"There's nothing new going on. It's just old stuff," Kamsi replied.

"I know that once in a while you guys have that cold war but for you to just return to your parent's place is something else "

"Michy, he slapped me for the first time. "

"Baby," Michelle said soothingly about reaching out to touch her hand but Kamsi held up her hand. "Please don't do that. "

"I am over all that now even the fact that he let me spend the night outside, accused me of things I had never thought of. I'm over all that," She said then threw her head up. That was why she did not like to talk, because of the tears that always followed.

Michelle was silent, her hands intertwined on her lap.

"The only thing is, I think of how far we have gone. Just three years so how much longer can we last? I don't want to bring my kids to share in my pain, I swear," She said and swallowed then the tears rolled down.

" I don't even know if I love him anymore because I stayed most nights in my mother's house and all I felt was anger. When he came and apologized, I felt the will to fight for things to return to normal but that was it. There's this bitterness where my love should be," She looked at Michelle this time and did not refuse when she sat beside her and took her hand.

"I thought I wanted to return home because I missed something here but being here, I realize there's nothing here. I had spoilt food and dead chicks as  witnesses. There's no life here."

She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and stared at the television . She felt Michelle's hand touch her own hand then she held it.

"It would be alright, " Michelle said .

But she was far gone to be believing lies. There were things she wanted to hear, maybe some lies she wanted to believe but not patronising talks meant to stop her tears. She let the tears flow, silently. She didn't grind her teeth to hold it back but sat still, motionless as her tear gland worked.

"I'm going to wash my face," she announced, hurrying into the kitchen as She heard the sound of Mark's car park outside. She was seated in time after washing her face before he opened the front door.

He strolled in, holding white nylons in one hand and his suitcase in another . His eyes first dimmed with a smile then he spoke.

"Michelle, I thought you people have abandoned me."

Michelle responded with a tight smile and Kamsi said, "Welcome. "

He walked to the back of the cushion then placed a kiss on the centre of her head before going into the kitchen with the nylons in his hand.

"Your husband is so strange," Michelle said in an undertone, laughing as she said it.

"My. Husband, " Kamsi cautioned, playfully poking her.

Mark stayed in the kitchen for a while then he came out.

"Baby, I got some dried fish on my way back. Some are in the microwave, " he said, picking his suitcase from the dining table he dropped it on his way to the kitchen.

"Thank you, " Kamsi replied.

"Michelle, hope she has served you something? " he asked.

Michelle turned to where he was and after looking at him for a while, she replied, "Yes. Don't bother yourself. "

"Okay," He replied, "I will be upstairs. I had a very stressful day."

There was silence after he left. It was after his footsteps could be heard as he ascended the stairs that Michelle said,

"It's just been confirmed; Something is wrong with your husband."

Kamsi smiled lazily. "You have not told me what he did to you."

"It doesn't matter," Michelle replied, "But you guys need to have that big talk. Lay out the things you don't appreciate in your union, allow him to lay out his own and maybe you guys could find a way forward or at least be able to ascertain what is next."

Kamsi nodded then there was a power outage. The lister did not come on immediately because Timothy was not around.

"Will you guys go for Christmas? " Michelle asked.

"I'm not sure. What about you? "

"As always na. Joseph adores that place. "

It was the same with Mark, he adored his hometown. He loved to travel back there during Easter, Christmas, New years.

His slippers could be heard as  it slapped the stairs then he went out through the back door.

"Joseph was actually like him, " Michelle said.

"You don't know what you are saying, " Kamsi said, looking at her feet. She knew Joseph and he was nothing like her husband.

"Not in every way but there's this pride they both have and they like to protect their own whether it is their feelings , family or whatever," Michelle said.

The Lister came on then and the cool air from the air conditioner filled the room once more.

"Joseph has calmed down a bit naa. That's why I know that a dialogue would work because I have been there. "

She stopped talking when the back door opened and closed then Mark's slippers announced his retreating further into the house.

Kamsi looked at Michelle like she had uncovered a veil that covered her light.

"I'll try," she said not in a resigned tone but with new found courage and hope.