Chapter 31: Chapter 31

Sunday, the sun refused to rise on time or Kamsi woke too early. She sat down on her bed from when she woke up for about three hours and stared out into the darkness of the surrounding through a slide window in her room. She could see nothing but the headlights of the car which refused to be hidden in the darkness of the morning.

She sucked in breath each time a tear strolled down her eye. Her heart was heavy, her mind was weak. Her whole being screamed in so much hurt and pain. Yet, she tried to be strong by folding her arms beneath her breast and hugging her body like it would save her from falling apart.

...because hurt knows how to replay memories, she was left remembering everything that caused her pain in her marriage, how the person who was supposed to be her heaven became something far from that. She would be a liar to say, he changed. She knew he had always been that controlling man. She had only thought with time and growth in their union, he would start to respect her and support her decisions. She was disappointed that all he did was worsen, believing that respect was just for the man in the marriage and only the man as the head of the family should have a say at all times.

Those times he shut down her opinions had hurt her but not as much as his cheating had. His suspicions also had broken her heart and each time she consoled herself in the thoughts that she was enduring for the sake of her unborn child. She knew she had to be strong, stronger than before.

While she sat on her bed by that window with tears freely flowing down her face and her eyes staring outside but seeing nothing, she did not even realize when the day began to brighten. She still sat lost in her own thoughts. A time like this, she began to see reason with what her step mother said when she was about getting married.

"I know young love is sweet, "Genevieve had said, " Still, I will say, you are still too young, inexperienced and I dare say, naive even . You just got out of school. You should let yourself develop. Take your time to build yourself first. What is yours would wait."

Fresh set of tears brewed in Kamsi's eyes because indeed she had been too young to listen to her step mother's words. She had hopped on the fast train and that train ran out of gas before reaching the station.

Her attention was brought back to earth by a knock on the door. She slowly turned towards the door, breathed in before letting out, "Come in."

In came strolling Chisomaga in a polo and boxers.

"Sister, good morning, " he greeted, sitting on the bed.

"Chisom, how was your night ?"

"It was too short o. We had to wake up early to start cooking stew this morning. "

Kamsi laughed, "I didn't even realize you guys were awake. "

" We have been awake. It's all Onyedikachi's fault. He was supposed to prepare the stew last night."

Kamsi laughed again. "You look so pained. Sorry."

"I'm pained," he said, then he looked at the wardrobe which stood close to the toilet door, the bare cupboard with a mirror which was at one end of the room.

"Sister, you have not unpacked, " he stated, his eyes doing more investigation. "I can help you out after church. "

With a small smile, Kamsi reached out and rubbed his arm and he smiled back adorably looking like the baby of the house he truly was.

"I came to pick your clothes so I can help you iron for church," he said after a little silence.

"I am not going. I'm not feeling so strong. "

"Ermm, you would still have to give me a dress o. I did not iron last night and I have to put on the generator to iron my cloth. Daddy would never allow that but he'll allow it for you. " Chisomaga said, putting up a side smile at the end of his explanation and waiting for a positive response.

"Open the box and take the plain and pattern gown. It's just at the top."

She crawled back into bed and pulled a wrapper over herself as Chisom walked to the box to get the cloth.

" Sister, see you later." He said before leaving the room.

She was left alone once again with her thoughts but this time, she thought of possible locations to set up a gallery , things she would do to develop herself further . She thought of so many things she could start doing apart from sitting idle in her work place if she should return to Okigwe - IF.

Kamsi wore bathroom slippers and walked outside her room. The television was playing even though no one was in the parlor. Clinking of metals could be heard from the kitchen and Kamsi walked towards it. Genevieve sat on a low stool dishing food into an aluminum flask.

"Mummy, good morning, " she greeted.

"Kamsi, did you sleep well? "

"Yes, I did. "

"And my grandchild? "

"She did too."

"She?" Genevieve asked, pausing what she had been doing.

"It's my prayer, " Kamsi replied.

Kamsi leaned on the wall while she continued to dish rice, meat and sauce into the flask.

"Daddy has already left for the first service. He'll return home and eat before going for a child dedication in another church. " Genevieve explained the food in the flask.

Kamsi nodded with a smile as she watched her clean up the sauce that poured on the floor.

"You are not going to church, I thought Chisom was ironing your dress?" Genevieve asked.

"I don't feel so strong anymore. "

"You should go and rest. Onyi would bring your food to the room."

"I actually want to eat now," Kamsi replied, still leaning on the wall

"Go and dish your food and eat na. What's wrong with this one? "

Kamsi laughed and walked over to where the pot of food was on the table gas.

"Have you put on your phone? " Genevieve asked.

"No," she replied, dishing rice into her plate.

"So how would you know if he calls you ?"

"I'm not expecting his call, " she said, before closing the pot of rice and moving to the stew.

"Has the sauce finished? " She asked, turning to look at her step mother where she still sat on the stool.

"Yes. I made for just my husband. I didn't know you would want it."

Kamsi nodded and resigned to adding just a little stew to her rice.

"You need to let people know where you are. They must be worried. People like Michelle and Maka. You should let them know that you are alright. "

"I'll call them but for now I just want to be here without anyone knowing, " She replied then carried her food to the dining area. Genevieve followed her to the dining holding the aluminum flask.

"Kamsi,"

"Mummy I would call them, " Kamsi said, cutting her off.

She ate in silence while her stepmother walked into the corridor leading to her room. She was done eating but still sat on the dining seat when Chisom ran to put off the generator and even when her stepmother came out all dressed up.

"I'll be staying for the first service and second service but Onyi and Chisom would come back after the first service," She said, standing beside a cushion at the parlor.

"Let me smoothen your foundation, " Kamsi said, rising from her seat.

She walked up to her while Genevieve stood still and handed her a powder foam which she used in blending the rough patches of her foundation. It must have happened because she was in a hurry because in true sense, her stepmother's fashion was very alive. It was so alive that she took special care of her looks and what she applied on her face with the aim of giving a professional look.

"You look great," Kamsi complimented her looking at the native skirt and blouse she was wearing with a peach head gear to highlight the little designs of peach on her dress.

"Thank you. "

Kamsi sat on a cushion facing the television while Genevieve searched her purse then she brought out some notes of money and dropped them on the table.

"Tell your brothers, that is their offering, " She said standing.

"Noooo mummy wait,I'm done! " Onyedikachi shouted, sliding into the parlour. His shirt, buttoned wrongly.

"Chisom, they're leaving o! " Kamsi shouted loud enough for him to hear.

After they had all left for church, Kamsi still sat in the parlor and stared at the television thinking of what to say to anyone if she should put on her phone. She did not want to talk to anyone , especially her husband. Seeing his number or hearing his voice was actually going to cause her more hurt than she already felt. She could not imagine what his utterance would be like - If he would still be dictating or at least apologetic.

Her stepmother had come into her room the previous day and they had talked for long. She bared herself before her without holding back at any moment. She cried when she wanted to and said all she wanted. The older woman listened quietly without criticizing her silence and secrecy. She didn't not offer pity but just a shoulder to cry on. The highest advice she gave was,

"Kamsi, you should fight for your home."

She knew she needed to fight for her home but she had lost the will because the home stopped being her own. It was as if things turned upside down and nothing was the same again.