Chapter 28: Chapter 28

...but love is forgiveness. That was the reason Kamsi battled within herself to let go but it was difficult. Memories of so many things she had been through did not make it easier. It replayed in her head over and over again. The lies only made it more painful. In place of where her love was supposed to be was pain and bitterness. These emotions lodged in her heart like a big bolus of eba lodged in the throat.

The headquarters where Kamsi worked had fixed a date for promotion exams to be in January. Even though Joseph had promised Kamsi a better place in one of the ministries, she still felt it wise to purchase the book to be revised for the promotion exam. She did not want to be a dependent, not on anyone anymore.

Kamsi just bought the book containing a detailed information of affairs in the civil service from the head of service's office. She walked back to her crowded office loosely flinging her black handbag. Nothing was on her mind at the moment except the things she had to achieve in the day.

"Nwunye engineer, " Ireti called once she entered the office.

Kamsi smiled and settled on the bench close to the wall.

"I will join you when we're going o. This your car you started bringing has been saving my life, " Ireti said.

"It's no problem ma," Kamsi replied with a smile.

She found out where Mark kept his Condoms which was the same place he kept his car keys hidden under a stack of neatly folded BYC pants and singlets. As the week resumed, she picked a car key from the drawer. That was how she started driving the camry Mark hardly used.

Surprisingly or expectedly, Mark did not make a case of the new development.

Same as always, wares were displayed on the corridor outside the office - Footwears, clothes, bags, even gala and cold drinks. Kamsi bought a cold Fanta drink just to have something chilled run down her system in the hot weather. She returned to the office and did nothing but watch the occupants- The people that slept with their heads on the large table at the centre of the room, a woman close to the other who was eating her lunch, a colleague who was currently selling her homemade air freshener and Madam who was lost looking outside so she could find a topic to discuss.

Work ended and Kamsi had a file of people who wanted to join her in her car to any junction that was convenient for them. She had turned a chauffeur since she started coming with a car. Only four people joined the car but it was still as noisy as the office.

" You people are waiting for that criminal, Adaku, to pay your money, I heard she has opened bar," Blessing said. She was of the same age bracket of late twenties with Kamsi though unmarried.

Her statement got the car quiet except for the voice of Sinach playing in the car.

"Which Adaku? " Ireti asked, turning to look at the back seat .

"Are they many that ran away with our akawo? " Blessing asked.

The other two women in the back seat laughed at the shock on Ireti 's face. Kamsi just minded the road. She knew of the woman who ran away with the women's monthly contribution. She was only grateful that she had not thought of joining their contribution and after it happened, it discouraged her more.

"Adaku? Her brother told me she was flown to India, that she had cancer, " Ireti said, still baffled.

"Amen. She'll get it. India is now at Ukwu nwangwo," Amara, another woman at the back seat said.

"She has bleached and bleached away her conscience. She should wait till we storm that place with police, " Blessing said.

Ireti faced the road while Kamsi just smiled as she steered the steering. Ukwuwangwo was the market joint in Uturu, a village close to Okigwe . It was a good place to open a bar, attracting more customers from the village market and also a large number of the villagers.

Kamsi reached the junction, Madam Ireti normally stopped and she brought the car to a halt for the woman to step down.

"I no go come work tomorrow, " She said as she bade the women goodbye.

"Why na? " Gold, another woman in the back seat, queried.

"E be like say I go sick tomorrow, " Ireti replied, causing the other women including Kamsi to laugh as they drove away.

The other three women came down at the Eke Okigwe. Kamsi parked in the fast food restaurant close by then she also entered the market.  She had to purchase a paper wrap for the painting she had to give Michelle's brother. Joseph had picked his own painting during the weekend and Okechukwu who had also wanted a painting booked his. That was after he questioned why she missed the month's appointment.  Her only reply had been that she had been ill. Sickness was a common excuse for most shortcomings . She could not bring herself to tell him that she chose to go to the General hospital instead.

Mark was at home when Kamsi drove in. He was seated in the garage, an open wine on a stool in front of him. He still wore the plain trouser and shirt he wore to work with his legendary leather slippers. He watched as she expertly fit the car into its space in the garage. She walked down in a fitted brown pencil skirt and white blazers.

"Hey, good evening, " Kamsi greeted.

"How was work? " Mark asked.

"It was good, " She replied, heading to the door.

"Come, drink with me. "

"Is it not alcoholic? " she asked.

"Just five percent, " he replied.

"Nah, I'll pass on this one. "

Inside the house, she walked to the guest room which was now her studio and quickly wrapped the painting of Okechuku's little girl. She went upstairs and pulled off her flat shoes and work dress and changed to a combat short and polo. Walking into her bathroom, she saw the cloth on the floor and for the first time, she felt she had been hasty in condemning that T-shirt. Their anniversary was the next day and she could get a gift in the morning but still at that moment, she felt she should have given the T-shirt a chance at being a gift.

She carried her phone with her to the kitchen not wanting to miss Okechuku's call. She had already told him he could pick up the work as he had already paid even before it was completed.

Mark came into the house, the loud banging of the door as it closed first announced his entrance then his slippers as he made his way to the kitchen.

"What are you making? " he asked, leaning on the wooden frame of the kitchen entrance.

" Just Pasta. You would love right? "

"Yes o. E don tey," he replied, taking a seat in the kitchen.

While the pasta was on fire, she sliced the onions and tomatoes she needed. She brought out some carrots and green peas also.

"Do you need my help? " he asked.

"You can fry your own eggs," she replied the same time her phone started to ring.

"Send me the address of your place. I'll come when I'm done in the hospital," Okechukwu said.

"No problem, " she replied.

She immediately typed the address after ending the call then poured out the pasta in a sieve.

"Okey is coming to pick something from me," She told her husband.

"Okey, Okechukwu? " he asked quietly as if testing the name.

"Yes, " she replied, not paying any attention to the man behind who watched her every movement, from the moment she stirred the onions to when she stirred the tomatoes.

"What is he coming to pick from you? " he asked.

"His painting. "

He laughed. "So you are also hawking now? "

"Which one is hawking ?" she asked without looking at him.

"Term what you are doing then. Selling goods to people outside a shop."

"Delivery, " she replied, "What is wrong with that ?"

She looked at him now. She had put the pasta in the pot and reduced the heat of the gas, allowing the food to simmer. She knew how unreasonable her husband could get at times and she wondered the direction of his reasoning at that moment.

" I thought your painting was just for fun, " he said.

"and if I can make money from it? " she asked, staring pointedly at him that he just shook his head without giving her a reply.

It was while they ate in the dining that Okechukwu called again.

"Please can you come out to your junction. I'm truly lost here," he said.

"I'm coming," she said, taking her food into the kitchen to cover it.

" Kamsi, I'm not in support of this. When did you start selling goods anyway, shouldn't I have known when you made that major decision? " Mark queried, also standing up from the dining table.

Kamsi laughed. "When I return, we would talk about it."

She walked to her studio. She had always been the one whose decisions had to be vetted, the ignorant wife, submissive to the core. She did not mind changing the status quo even if it's just for a day.

As she came out, Mark was standing at the railing outside.

"He's at the junction. I won't take long. " She said, coming down the stairs.

"Wait. Is this not late for the both of you ?A married woman. You seem to forget who you are. "

"Who am I? " she asked, folding her hands.

"Kamsi, just go back to the house, tell that man to drive away. Business is done during the day. "

Kamsi laughed, that laugh that she often did which now annoyed him. Without saying another word, she began walking towards the gate.

"If you step out from that gate, you better sleep outside tonight," he warned.

That was the last thing she heard from Mark as she stepped outside the gate. Her phone, which had been ringing even while she was being delayed by her husband, kept ringing.

"Hold on. I'm almost there, " she said once she picked the call.

A grey ford was slowly driving down the tarred road. She almost passed hurriedly till the driver hooted.

"It's me na. No be hijacker," Okey said, laughing.

She laughed then handed him his package. She watched as he gently unwrapped it and did not miss the 'wow' on his face.

"This drawing is breathing," he said, "Thank you."

"Thank you also, " she replied.

"You don't look sick. Make sure not to miss your appointment next month. Those check ups are very important," he said.

"Yes, sir."

She told Timothy to leave the gate open before she left and as she returned, she just pushed the small gate and walked in. She proceeded to lock the gate.

"Madam, make I do am," Timothy said, running out from his gate post.

She left the gate for him. "Goodnight."

"You too, Madam. "

Threats were always considered empty until they came with an added package. Maybe she should have known that some threats were not just words spoken but actions yet to be seen. Until she stood outside knocking, banging on the door with no one coming to open up did she realize what some threats meant.

She pressed the doorbell severally and called his line, ready to yell, "Open the door for me na!"

He never picked up. There was no one to share the anger with but just the door which she now banged more furiously than ever.

"Is this one a joke or what? Mark! "

Unfortunately, the neighborhood was quiet. The PHCN blessed them with light that night. Her voice was loud in the very silent night. Fortunately, her shouts should have been heard if not that the man inside the house blocked his heart and ears not to listen.

She gradually lowered herself to the floor, hugging her knees. She raised her head to the sky. She did not want to cry.

"Madam, I bring blanket. I wash am well " Timothy said, holding a blanket to her.

She would have laughed but it was tears instead. The painful reality was beginning to be clearer.

"Thank you, " she replied, taking the blanket.

As Timothy went back to his duty post, she thought of the ways she had ever helped him. She only gave him food  on sundays. She used to give him breakfast everyday until she got a job. She now felt regret that she had never given him money since she started work. It was the reason, his kindness broke her heart and caused her to shed tears. His kindness made her guilty.

She dialed her husband's number once again but he still did not pick up. She wrapped the blanket  around herself as everything she felt dripped away slowly as tears.

"Oga leave his car open. He wan make I clean the inside early morning," Timothy said, coming to her again.

It was an invitation for her to sleep in the car but she declined, hugging herself together.

" Thank you, Timothy . You can sleep. I'll be fine, " she said.

She watched him return to his duty post. He did not go inside but sat on the bench outside. She turned her head away and tears flowed unrestrained.

With her teeth clattering, she walked to the Range Rover which Timothy had hinted her was open.

The warmth of the car was a better option because dusk descended with a cold that even the blanket could not prevent.