Chapter 35: Chapter 35

[Nivera’s POV]

My eyes opened slowly to the illumination of the morning sunlight and the chirping of birds. I closed my eyes, then opened it again, trying to remember what had happened to me and why I felt so weak. I looked around as I still laid in the soft bed, and that was when I realised I was in a familiar bedroom. Then, I remembered. It was the bedroom that had been decorated specially just for me in Lucien’s mansion.

I blinked my eyes again and again to ensure I wasn’t dreaming or imagining things. If I was waking up, it shouldn’t be here. The last thing I could remember was that I had gotten a note from the Alpha and had left the Palace to meet with him. I racked my brain, and soon, all the memories came running to me.

I shivered and sat up, filled with fear and anxiety. I remembered it all, and my skin still felt all the attacks I had suffered in just one night. It seemed again like eight wolves were pouncing at me at once and tearing at my skin. I checked my arms and legs, but I didn’t see a single injury to show that I had actually suffered any attack. Had that been my imagination? If so, how come it had felt so real?

Just then, I heard the door open, and when I looked to see who it was, my heart began to race fast as I discovered to my surprise that it was Lucien who was dressed in a black shirt and black trousers and carrying a tray of chamomile tea.

He smiled at me and sat by my side on the bed. “You’re awake. How are you feeling now?” he asked, placing the tray on the bedside table.

“I… I feel good, I guess. What are you doing here?” I asked.

“This is my house, have you forgotten?” he inquired back.

My eyes twitched. “Yes, that’s true. So, how about me? What am I doing here? In fact, how am I alive? Is this the afterlife? You’re a vampire after all; anything is possible when I’m around you,” I said, confused to the bone.

He chuckled softly, then took the tea which he offered to me. “Here, have some of this. You’re obviously still out of touch with reality,” he said.

I took the tea which he offered and drank a little of it. “Thanks, it tastes nice,” I said, then placed it back on the tray.

“You’re welcome,” he said, then wiped my lips with his thumb, after which I stared at him and we had a full moment of intense eye contact.

He was the one to break it off and he looked away, picking idly at the bedsheets. I looked away as well and sighed deeply. “What happened, Lucien? What am I doing here?” she asked.

“You were attacked, Nivera,” he said, looking up at me, but not directly into my eyes.

“I wasn’t dreaming, then. What I recall, though, is that the attack would have ended me. How am I still breathing? What’s going on?” I asked, puzzled.

“I saved you,” he said.

“Saved me? How is that possible? Can you revive dead people?” I asked, wide-eyed.

“I can’t do that, Nivera. I’ve told you before that vampires can heal people. When I found you, you weren’t dead, and so, I saved you the only way I knew how to,” Lucien said to me.

I didn’t know how that happened so fast, but I burst into tears… hot uncontrollable tears.

He drew closer to me, then held my hands and squeezed it softly. “Come on, now. Why are you crying? What’s making you cry? I saved you, okay? You’re alive and that’s all that matters,” he said.

“No, Lucien. You don’t understand. I don’t understand either. How come you saved my life even though I chose to not be with you? I don’t get it,” I said, shaking my head slowly.

“Nivera, is that how little you think of me? You think I would let you die simply because you want to be with that bonehead and not me?” he asked.

“You said you weren’t going to come again…”

He cut in. “And I wasn’t. I already told myself to forget about you and I was surely not going to come to your rescue ever again, but I couldn’t just ignore the constant calls of your blood spilling on the surface of the earth,” he explained.

“Oh, Lucien. You didn’t have to,” I said in a whisper.

Tears fell from his eyes. “I’m glad I didn’t ignore you any more than I did. If I had done that, I… I never would have been able to forgive myself. I know you don’t believe you might be Eloise, but it would have meant that I failed to save you twice. I’m happy that you’re alive. That’s all I care about. So, you see? I had to do what I did; if not for your safety, at least, for my peace of mind,” he explained.

I couldn’t hold it in anymore and just hugged him tightly. He hugged me back, and for many more minutes that I couldn’t remember, we remained wrapped in each other’s arms, just crying and holding on to each other.

It remained like that until he soon let me out of his embrace. I looked at him, wondering what was going on in his head.

“Yesterday morning, the elders of your Pack gave you twenty-four hours to return home or you won’t be the Luna anymore. Now, I know how much I detest your so-called Alpha, but he actually did stand up for you. I saw everything myself through Celeste’s mirror. He threatened the elders and even killed the guard that let you out. He has sent someone to find you, and the person would be in trouble if he doesn’t come back with you. It’s been about twenty hours already, and I’m afraid that unless you return back to him, many more people are going to suffer for your disappearance,” he explained.

“I don’t get you. Are you indirectly asking me to return?” I asked.

“Eventually, you’re going to. He’s the one your heart belongs to,” he said.

“And what about you? My heart also belongs to you,” I said.

“No, Nivera. It doesn’t. You might feel indebted to me because of how I’ve always saved your life, but I believe the Alpha really likes you, so I’m giving you up. Go and be with him, I promise not to interfere with your life anymore. I might watch you from a distance, but…”

“What are you saying?” I asked, searching his eyes as I held his shoulders.

“If you knew what I did to save your life, you’d hate me. I won’t deceive you or force you into staying with me. You don’t have much time until you’re found out. For as many years as you can, enjoy being the Luna of the Crescent Pack. Make good changes, do great things that history will never forget about, and whenever it’s time, I’ll be right here for you,” Lucien said, but his explanation only made me more confused.

“I don’t get you, Lucien. How did you save my life? Why would I hate you? Why are you chasing me away? What’s going on with you?” I asked all at once.

“When I thought you were going to die, I told myself that as long as you were alive and happy, that was enough for me. Right now, you’re confused about who to be with. I’m a terrible person, Nivera, and I’m helping you make a decision. Go and be with the Alpha. I’ll spend the rest of my life atoning for my sins, and hoping you’ll forgive me. Also,I won’t appear in front of you ever again,” Lucien said.

“But… but why?” my voice sank.

“Just know I’m doing this for a good reason,” he said, then stood up and pulled me up as well. I just let him pull me up like a hypnotised person, staring into his eyes.

“What if I told you I found out I might actually be Eloise?” I asked, seeking a way out with him, knowing fully well that his mind was made up.

“It doesn’t mean you also have to be with me in this life. I compelled the guard the Alpha sent, and he’ll take you back to the palace and say that you had been kidnapped and he found and rescued you. No one will question you, the Alpha would ensure you are protected and no further blood would be spilled. More importantly, you’ll become the Luna. See? Everybody wins,” he said.

“Everybody except you. Why are you doing this? You wanted me to be by your side, so what changed? Why are you pushing me away? At least, let me know why and allow me to decide if I want to be with you or not,” I yelled angrily at him.

He didn’t say much and just pulled me into a warm embrace, then stroked my hair. “I’m sorry. You’ll find out soon enough, but for now, accept my apology and trust my judgement. I am sorry,” he said.

“I don’t want you to not be a part of my life. I can’t imagine life without you. The past one week was hell for me, and...” I was still speaking when I felt a whooshing breeze, and when I looked around, I discovered I was no longer in his arms.

Tears clouded my vision as I realised he had teleported me back to the Crescent Pack. By my side was a guard who looked as confused as I was.

“Lucien! Lucien!” I yelled angrily, but he didn’t answer, and the tears began to trickle down my cheeks as an overwhelming ache pricked my heart.

I didn’t want to lose him. I didn’t want to just leave his side for no good reason. I didn’t get why he wasn’t going to appear in front of me anymore. I didn’t get what he would spend the rest of his life atoning for.

For the first time, I realised the feeling I had for him was love…In what I had assumed to be my last moment, I had thought about him. I could bear to live without the Alpha King, but living without Lucien just didn’t seem right to me. How could he not suddenly appear in front of me and take me by surprise anymore? How could he not be there to tease me and say annoying things? How could I not hear him brag about being able to defeat all our warriors in less than ten minutes? How could he not make my heart beat fast while he showed me how to play the piano? How could I not see his handsome face and hear his sleepy voice in the morning? How could I not be wrapped in his embrace from now on? How could I not taste his sweet meals and perceive the fragrance of his cologne henceforth?

He had shown me a whole new world, and when I had realised I was indeed whom he had been searching for, he had vanished into thin air like I had meant little or nothing to him, and now, I didn’t know how to endure living without him in my world.

If I had found out about my feelings earlier, would things have been different? With us, there just never seemed to be the right timing.