Chapter 41: Chapter 41

He was everything a girl could want, rich, influential, and handsome, but as the muscles of his back rose and fell with each deep breath, she saw nothing but power. Alecia pushed his arm off of her and slipped out of the bed. She stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom, staring at the girl she had become and not recognizing herself. Dark circles remained under her eyes; her skin blanched. Did Ryder still find her beautiful? To her, she looked dead.

“You’re only twenty-one and your life has been lived,” she whispered.

Ryder walked into the bathroom and ran some fingers across her back. She flinched and turned to him as he took off his black pajama pants and got in the shower.

“Alecia, it’s Saturday get in here with me.”

She tapped her fingers on the counter. He had always spoken to her like that, but now it held a different meaning. How could she have been so blind? Was she just too enamored with him to realize how he treated her? She slipped off the white nightgown, took her hair out of the bun, and got in the shower. The steam rose up around her, but the heat did nothing to chase away the chill that had filled her. Nothing could get rid of it. He had his back to her, leaning his head on the side as the water poured down onto his chest. She wrapped her arms around his waist out of habit. She needed to submit, but every part of her rebelled at the idea.

“Did you sleep well?” she asked.

“Yeah.”

She picked up her blue sponge that hung on the shower spout, some peppermint-scented soap, and washed his back as she laid her head on his shoulder. Maybe if she just carried out their routines he wouldn’t notice how she had changed.

By the time Ryder was ready to get out of the shower, Alecia's fingers had well pruned. She dried off, and put on her bathrobe. After she had started a pot of coffee, letting the hazelnut flavor fill the room, she opened the door, and picked up the paper. She shut the door, and tilted the paper to her face. Her hand flew to her mouth. She sprinted to the bedroom. Ryder had just put back on his pajama pants.

He looked up. “What’s wrong?” he said, knitting his brows.

Alecia held up the paper. Ryder took it from her and closed his eyes, probably reading the headline that had been burned into her mind: Secretary of State Bauer Dies in Plane Crash.

“He was such a nice man,” Alecia said as tears fell down her face. His wife and children must be crushed.

Ryder shook his head and sat on the bed, dropping the paper to the floor.

“Ryder.”

“Get out,” he whispered.

She placed a hand on his chest.

“Get out!”

Alecia ran out of the room, shutting the door behind her. She sat on the couch and curled her knees to her chest, keeping her eyes fixed on the door, taking deep breaths but her trembling form wouldn’t relax. She shook all over. Moments later, Ryder emerged from the room.

He knelt in front of her and glared into her eyes. “I don’t want you to cry for him,” he said.

“Why?”

“Just don’t.”

He sat on the couch next to her, turned on the TV, flipping through the channels until he found a show he liked. She studied the look in his eyes; a fixed angry look. Why didn’t he cry for a man his family had known for many years? Alecia sniffled, but a few tears slipped out. Hadn’t Richard known Bauer since graduate school? Surely the Alpha must have known him as a child. But Ryder spoke with such disdain, as if Bauer was a murderer who’d met his doom instead of a close acquaintance.

“I’m going to go wash my face,” Alecia whispered. He didn’t respond, so She slipped off the couch and walked to the bedroom. She closed the door, and picked up the paper. Sitting on the bed, she read the story. An apparent mechanical malfunction was the reason listed for the crash. She opened the paper, and saw another story about a young reporter, who worked for the paper, found dead of an apparent drug overdose. The headline read Paper Mourns One of Its Own. According to the article, the reporter was covering her husband’s case. Maybe Ryder had known him. She closed the paper and slid it under the bed, washed her face and returned to Ryder.

About two weeks after Secretary Bauer's funeral, a judgment was rendered in the case, the pharmaceutical company had won, but the families were going to appeal.

Ryder and Alecia returned to New York. She walked into the apartment and flipped on the lights. The blackness shrouded her, as an empty filling seeped into her. Wrapping her arms around her waist, she squeezed tight. She needed some warmth, but the chill clung to her, making her body tremble. How could she return to this place? A place filled with so many dark memories.

Ryder walked up to her and enfolded her in his arms. “It’s so nice to be home,” he said.

Her whole body tensed. Images flooded her mind. He had raised a hand to her sister in this room and there was the door he always locked her behind.

Ryder kissed her neck.

“It’s nice.” Alecia walked from Ryder's arms; his fingers slipped from her waist. She kicked off her sandals as she made her way to the bedroom. She lay on her stomach on the bed and submerged her face into the silk pillow. The musk Ryder always wore filled her. The bed creaked with his movements as he sat on it and caressed her legs under her long black skirt.

“I missed the look of your skin on our black sheets.”

“They’re your sheets.”

A smile that clashed with the slight darkness of his eyes, appeared on his face. “No, Ally, they’re our sheets.”

His hand made its way to her thigh, squeezing; Katie closed her eyes, as he got on top of her and kissed the back of her ear. His sweet possession; no more than a blow-up doll.

“I love you,” he whispered into her ear. “Pretty thing, roll over.”

She took a deep breath and rolled over, and tried to make her eyes gleam by opening them wide. The glare grew in his eyes as his gaze roamed over her face. She must have failed. He shook his head, and kissed her again, letting the kiss deepen. He trailed his lips to her ear and whispered, “Alecia, your love is fickle.”

A tear slid down her cheek. He knew she pretended. She caressed his back, but he grabbed her wrists and pinned them to the bed. A gasp flew from her as she focused on the steel in his eyes.

“No more pretending, just lay there if you must.”

“Ryder, I....”

“Be quiet.” He hushed her with his lips.