Chapter 35: Chapter 35

Rosie's POV

"You are so stupid Rosie!" I started scolding myself after I turned and run away from Jake. I slapped myself multiple times as if that would help me pull myself back together.

It was when I was already a few blocks outside when a realization hit me, I am not familiar with this place.

My eyes scanned the area.

I don't even have my phone nor pouch with me.

Slowly, I started walking back to the direction where I came from, my left hand wiping the tear that stupidly started falling down my cheeks. My mind feels like I'm just floating. Everything was a blur and my eyes stinging isn't much of a help either.

I felt helpless and weak. My knees were shaking I'm actually surprised I'm still able to walk.

I noticed a few people giving me weird looks.

Yeah, I probably look some idiot right now, crying on a sidewalk at four in the afternoon.

So what if Jake already moved on?

"I am still friends with the other boys," I whispered to myself but even I can recognize how bitter my own words sounded.

My steps halted, and I almost fell down when someone accidentally bumped into me from the back.

"Watch where you're going!" the guy snarled at me and I don't have any strength left to answer. Instead, I walked to the side, away from the crowd so I won't cause a ruckus on the busy street in front of me.

"What's the use of coming back now?" I whispered as I rested my back on the wall for support. I bite my lower lip, my throat hurting as I try to stop myself from bawling my eyes out on the busy district of Seoul.

Unfocused with my surroundings, I ended up sitting on the ground, my arms hugging my knees, the questioning stares that the people are giving me goes unnoticed by my unstable state.

And right here I started crying. The recent events made me question myself.

Am I that of a bad person to be always left behind?

Do I deserve this amount of pain?

Was the pain of losing a friend and a brother isn't enough that life decided to test me once again by taking away the very first person I showed loved with from me?

Am I that much of a pushover?

My judgment is now getting clouded.

Maybe I really deserve all this pain... and its karma but damn, it was all out to losing my sanity, breaking every piece of me, shredding my dignity altogether. Right now, there's nothing left but emptiness.

Did he lie about waiting for me?

I mean, I knew it took me four fucking months but shit. is it that easy for him to forget about me?

Did he really love me at all?

Faint sobs escaped my lips, the sorrow filling my whole system is starting to make me lose control.

He loved me. I told to myself.

No matter how he might be in a new relationship right now, I knew he loved me when we were still together.

Because I felt it.

His sincerity...

His patience...

His love...

I felt it all.

I knew he loved me. But it hurts to know that his love faded while here I am, still stuck on my own feelings.

My heart has weakened. The new resolve I had after moving on from my past started crumbling before me.

I'm not even sure my heart is ready for this heartbreak.

But then, no one is ever ready for a heartache. Mine felt like it's barely functioning, and it's drunken with pain.

My sane thoughts started to slip away and the remaining strength that I have in me slowly fading, and I think this isn't a foreign state for me since I was barely breathing before Jake came and saved me.

I thought Jake has found me when I was lost, but I guess it was temporary. Because in the end, it was me who needs to find my own self.

I thought I can be by his side. but it turns out I need to be alone until I can spread my own wings, break free and fly.

Even with a bitter heart, even with an empty fall back, I'd move forward.

And then I felt a liquid dropping on my bare skin, my eyes immediately looking up the sky.

It was dark and I can see drizzles slowly starting to pour.

"Great, now even the weather is sympathizing with me," I grunted.

But my body doesn't seem to feel bothered by the cold as I start to feel numb.

"Fuck," I mumbled.

The pain inside me, it's unbearable. It feels a thousand more painful like I was left with nothingness. It was like I am falling down on a black hole and I don't know if I can still cease to exist.

With my face on my hands as I keep from crying.

The drizzle started getting stronger until it was already raining. But I didn't move even after all the people came rushing to find shelter out of the rain.

I stayed on the sidewalk hoping that the rain will wash away the pain that is killing me.

My heart felt so empty. And even though the cold rush of the rain made my body shiver, deep inside, I felt nothing.

I don't have any place to go and right now, I'd need a whole lot of courage to get back and get my things from their dorm.

Lisa...

I suddenly remembered my friend. She must have been confused right now.

Not a bit do I resent my friend for being with the person I love. It has been so long since we last saw each other and judging from how she acted earlier when she saw me, I was sure Lisa didn't know a thing.

She's a sweetheart, a pure little ball of sunshine. I can never get mad at her.

To be honest, I'm madder at myself for neglecting Jake.

It was all my fault. I know I was just so stupid to let what we had all go to waste. Or maybe I had been too complacent?

My hands balled into a fist.

Am I strong enough to let him go?

Looking back, I don't regret ever hopping that bus and meeting him and saving him from his fans.

And even though I am hurting like hell right now, I'd still say I love him. If my pain is what it takes for him to be happy, I'd gladly take it all.

This time, I want to be the person who sacrificed for him.

Because I want him to be happy...

I didn't know how long it has been but after a while, I realized the drips of the rain falling on my body weakened.

Did the rain stop?

Slowly, I removed my hands covering my face, I had to rub my eyes for a moment because it becomes blurry due to my continuous crying.

As I focus my vision in front of me, I was greeted by a pair of Timberland shoes.

In an instant, my heart which I thought had stopped beating earlier started hammering inside my chest. Slowly, I lifted my gaze and my eyes saw the serious expression on his face, his hands were leaning on the wall as he tried to cover me with his body shielding me from the rain.

"Jake..." I whispered and I noticed the painful expression showing on his face.

Was he having a hard time because of me? Because he's feeling guilty I was crying?

Immediately, I stood up from the ground, my body swaying a little as my knees got wobbly from sitting for too long. before I fall further, his strong arms wrapped around my body in support.

"Are you okay?" his voice hoarse and I had to close my eyes once again to restrain myself from lunging my body over his.

His hands suddenly cupped my cheeks and I can't help it, my tears started streaming down my cheeks, unable to handle the emotion building inside me.

He pulled me closer, our foreheads touching but that didn't help me from controlling my emotions.

Why did he have to act like this, acting like he cares?

"Jake, you don't need to be here," I told him, pushing him a little but he didn't move.

I'm not even sure why but I felt a little happy because it seems like he really cared but then, the smiling image of Lisa came flashing on my mind.

"Jake, please... stop this. You'll just make it harder for me. I get it. You moved on. I'd probably have a lot of sleepless nights moving forward but it's okay, I'd soon manage. So don't feel bad about everything," I told him but my heart aches to spit those words.

His eyes bore into mine and his beautiful face creases as a little as if not understanding what I was trying to say.

My hands reached for his hands cupping my cheeks, a forced smile emerged on my face. "This won't break me, Jake. I will get better. I promise." I told him.

He stared at me incredulously as if the words coming out of my mouth are disgusting and I don't know if I should feel offended.

"Who gave you the fucking idea that I'd let you move on from me, Park Rosie?" he whispered and my heart clenched at the sound of him calling my name. Because I have this feeling that this will be the last time I'd ever hear him call my name.

Wait, what did he just say?

"What?" I asked him confused. Is he trying to tell me he won't let me go even though he's with Lisa now?

"Look Rosie, I didn't spend my four months killing my body from practice, sulking by myself waiting you would come back like what you've promised just to get involved with someone I only met just a few minutes ago," he stated with pleading eyes that break my heart and my mouth hangs wide open at his words.

"What do you mean?" Please don't give me false hope Jake, I wanted to add but I decided not to.

He pushes his hair back, a few drops of rain dripping down his face and I will be lying if I don't say that didn't turn me on because it did.

"That girl, Lisa, I just saw her today. She's not my girlfriend or anything and I think she may have confused me with someone else," he started explaining and I can't help but hope we still have a chance.

"But why did she hug you?" I asked him and he grunted.

"I don't know but I think that has something to do with one of the boys but I swear, I didn't hug her back!" he said exasperatedly and I knew he was telling the truth.

Come to think of it, he was also taken aback earlier. Why didn't I notice that?

"Park Rosie, you should know before you left four months ago that I am deeply in love with you, it's actually scary. Just the thought of not being able to see you anymore almost made me snapped. I am so close to forcing my sister into telling me where you live." he started blabbering and in a flash, my helpless state skyrocketed giving me high spirits.

He loves me.

Jeon Jake still loves me.

"If you didn't come back. I'm sure I'm an inch closer to heading to Australia and beg on my knees so you would take me back. I love you Rosie. I had been the moment I first made eye contact with you the first time during our tour. You don't even know how my heart almost leaped out of my chest when you suddenly kissed me," he added.

Before I knew it, my tears once again started streaming down my cheeks. My eyes caught a few people starting to crowd a few meters away from us and if not for what seemed to be the people stopping and barricading the area, they would have come closer.

My eyes widened when I realized that those people were the staffs from when I was in the tour bus.

That's when I noticed that the rain had already stopped.

My cheeks blushed after realizing that a few people had already been recording us. I almost forgot that Jake is one-seventh of Voelevard, one of the most famous Kpop group not only in Korea but all over the world. Of course, people will recognize him.

"Jake..." I tried to get his attention. We'll probably be in the headlines of every Kpop website any minute and I got scared for a moment. What if his fans get mad?

"Don't mind them. I don't care if the whole world finds out I have a girlfriend as long as I don't lose you. Now I finally understand why Josh hyung did that," he stated before pulling me for a hug.

We heard a few teenagers squealing while the other seemed like sobbing and somehow, I felt a little bad. I knew how fans are very possessive with their idols.

His arms were wrapped around my body as he swayed back and forth, and even though we were both drenched from the rain, the heat coming from his body is enough to make me feel warm.

"I love you Rosie, and don't ever think I'll stop because I won't. You'll probably get tired of me telling you that over and over but I don't care. I love you with all that I have and just having you makes me feel like I already have everything," he stated and my heart fluttered at his words, my arms wrapping around his body the same way as I bury my face to his chest.

"I love you too...." I whispered. My heart is now at peace and having him in my arms after so fucking long made me feel like I was high

"Don't do that again..." he said and I heard his voice cracked.

"Do what?" I asked as I rub his back to comfort him.

"Running away from me... I was scared I won't be able to find you. I don't even care if my manager is going ballistic. I can't lose you Rosie. You're all that's keeping me together." he stated and I my arms tightened around his body.

"I'm sorry Jake. I thought you moved on." I told him. " I thought being away is what will make you happy when I thought you and Lisa are now together," I added.

He pulled away a little so he can stare at my face. I'm sure I look like a mess already but seeing how he looks at me makes me feel so confident about myself.

He brushed a few strands of my hair to my side that is covering my face.

"I can only be happy with you babe... We will stay together, fight together, dance and sing side by side. I will always stay with you. We will be whoever we are and we will be happy together," My heart melting at his words.

He smiled at me and I felt contented.

"Jake that's enough show!" I heard Josh oppa's voice and both Jake and I turned to the side and realized that the rest of the guys are also on the ground.

A few of their fans were flustered and crying. I can't blame them. It's not every day you'll be able to see seven boys of Voelevard, in flesh and standing among the crowd.

"Hey, I can't believe you topped what I did to your noona. How dare you!" Josh oppa joked and Samantha unnie laughed as she walked forward to us with Lisa and Jessie with her.

The rest of the boys followed the crowd started to get wild once again.

"Come here," Samantha unnie called for me before covering my body with a huge towel. "The two of you made quite a scene huh?" she stated and my cheeks flushed after I saw how the boys were teasing Jake.

I noticed Lisa staring at the ground. I moved forward and pulled her into a hug.

"Are you okay?" I asked her. Though I don't know what exactly happened, I am concern about her. She seemed so sad.

"Sorry Rosie, I didn't mean what happened earlier. I didn't know," she whispered and I knew she was crying.

I rubbed her back to calm her down.

"It's fine Lisa. Stop thinking about it." I told her.

My eyes caught Jessie's smiling face.

"Hi," I greeted her and she smiled before pulling me for a hug after I released Lisa.

"Nice to finally meet you," she greeted and I feel like having a new best friend.

After a while, my eyes locked with Jake, and just a smile from him is enough for me to be assured that everything will work out just fine.

Though I'm sure this will cost the boys some scolding seeing the crowd had already enclosed the whole area and it will be hard for us to go back.

Jake moved closer and his right hand intertwined with mine.

"I love you..." he whispered before giving me a peck on my forehead.

Our relationship had been full of flaws... from sexual tension to the purest love I had never imagined.

Finally, I've found my shelter, my home...

- The end

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