Chapter 21: Chapter 21

Rosie's POV

"I can't believe we were able to pull that!" Vash exclaimed animatedly as we all headed back to the hotel, masked covering our face.

Vash, Haiden, Jake and I decided to go out and explore the city. Since I knew the place a little, I decided to act as their tour guide.

We even stumbled on an empty arcade hall and the boys had so much fun.

Thank God we did not come across with some fans or it would have been bad.

"Rome said to meet each other in the lobby so we can head down to the dining hall together. Meet us in twenty!" Haiden oppa exclaimed before they entered on their designated room.

I was about to turn and go inside my room when I felt someone grabbing me by my arm.

"What will you be doing?" he asked and my brows furrowed for a moment, assessing the cheeky expression visible on his handsome face.

"Shower? We basically went out for a whole day." I told him before entering my room, him following after.

"Can I join?" he whispered and my breath hitch when I felt him wrapping his arms around my waist, pulling me closer to him, his lips landing on the crook of my neck.

Shoot.

Being alone with Jake is scary yet exciting. Scary because one moment he was sweet and the next second he'll be the exact opposite, going wild, under and all. But of course, I won't deny the fact that I like both sides of him.

"Jake..." I whispered, removing his hands from my waist, turning around facing him. Without second thoughts, his forehead went closer to mine, our lips almost touching.

I bite my lower lip at the close proximity.

"Jake, they'll be waiting..." I whispered, my eyes on his lips and I know he is aware coz I saw the smile tucking at the corner of his lips.

He is trying to seduce me and he knows I'm so close to giving in.

"That's the point babe, they can wait," he whispered, his raspy voice enough to make me lose my shit altogether.

This won't do.

"Jake, no. Go and head down to your room and freshen up," I told him, pushing him a little and he chuckled a little too loudly and I pouted.

"Your cheeks are so red," he mumbled, walking closer, cupping my cheeks before giving me a kiss on the forehead.

Good Lord, can he like, stop being this fucking sweet?

"I'll go. make sure to head down to the lobby after or I'll carry you downstairs bridal style." he teased before giving me a hug and turning to leave the room.

I was left speechless.

If I'm going to live like this, every single day, I don't have any complaints.

After taking a quick shower and blow-dry my hair a little, I quickly wore a white shorts with a loose black jumper, the front tucked underneath my shirt.

With just my black slip-ons, I headed out of my room.

I checked the other rooms and realized that they must have already went out.

Getting my key, I headed to the door. I can't risk the chance of Jake carrying me bridal style. One thing I realized, Jake does what he says and that's enough for me to run my way down to the lobby.

I just closed the door and check my phone.

A smile made a way across my face when I notice the display picture on my phone. It is a photo of me and Jake, our cheeks almost touching while he does a silly derp face.

Still walking, my attention still on my phone, I didn't notice a woman sending daggers over my direction.

"I can't believe you are still able to smile like that after you killed my son."

My steps came into a halt as I felt as if a bucket of iced water was thrown on my body.

Unable to move an inch, my body stood frozen in the middle of the hallway right outside the elevator.

My eyes met the glaring glaze of a woman on her fifties, her clothes exalt luxury, her very stance signifies wealth and power. And yet her eyes were burning red.

How did she found out I was here?

My body started shaking, my heart beating crazily.

"Auntie..." I whispered, my voice shaking and I was sure my voice cracked at the end.

Her eyes were full of hatred, and she started walking closer.

Ten steps...

That's how close she is, her eyes burning in anger, and yet I can't move.

"Are you happy you killed my son?" she said, pain evident on her voice, her hands balled into fist, her body shaking.

My eyes started getting teary.

"He loved you..." she whispered, by then, tears are already streaming down her face, and so were mine.

"You killed him. You killed my son." she continuously whispered, as if telling herself what happened.

"He begged for you to love him. Why can't you love him after all those years, huh? Why?" she said, bawling her eyes out.

Before I knew it, she was already standing in front of me.

"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry..." I whispered, my eyes unable so see from all the crying.

Every word that comes out of her mouth feels like a dagger being struck within my heart. It's painful. And it's slowly killing me.

"What for?" she started hitting me on my shoulders. It was strong yet I didn't feel a thing.

I felt numb, empty, like I did a few months ago, after I found out that he died, killed himself because of me, because I didn't love him.

I never did.

"Were you happy?" she started screaming, still hitting my body.

And I didn't stop her.

I deserve it.

I deserve this.

"Were you that happy that he's already gone from your life? That's why you were smiling right? You were so happy he's gone!!!" she was screaming so loud, I felt all of my energy getting drained out of my body, my knees giving in.

My body landed on the floor and she didn't stop.

"I'm sorry..." that's all I could say.

I probably look like a mess, my face full of tears.

"Why???? Why didn't you love him?" her body collapsed in front of me.

And I saw how painful it was for her. My hands landed on the floor.

"I didn't know. I'm so sorry... I'm sorry..." I was bawling my eyes out but she still hitting me, this time, on my face.

But I let her. If that's what will make her feel better.

I didn't even notice that someone was trying to pull her away from me, familiar arms suddenly wrapped around my body.

The next thing I saw was Jake's worried face, a glint of sadness visible on his eyes, and was that anger I also see?

His right arm wrapped around my waist while the other cupped my right cheeks.

"Rosie, are you okay?" he whispered, his jaw tightened at the sight of my messed up state.

"Release me!" my eyes snapped back to Mark's mom. She was going wild, and then I noticed the person who was trying to stop her, Luke, Mark's younger brother.

"Stop it Mom." he was hugging his mother but I noticed him giving me a disappointed look.

"Who is he? Is he the reason why you denied Mark's love for you? Are you two happy he died? You selfish bastards!!!!" she was screaming real hard and her hands covered her face.

She was having a panic attack and I knew it.

"You killed my son Rosie. I lost my son...." she was crying brokenheartedly; she was already seated on the floor the same way I do.

"My son, Rosie, he's gone..." she silently wailed and I felt a lot more broken inside.

Luke let go of his mom, his eyes also getting teary.

I pushed Jake a little, and he looked at me questioningly. I nodded at him and let go.

I didn't know why but I feel like this is the right thing to do.

I moved closer and hugged her, my arms wrapped around her body like how I used to do whenever I see her.

She struggled a little but I didn't let go, until I felt her calm down within my touch.

"Rosie, he's gone..." she whispered, choking a little due to all the crying. "He's gone."

I just rubbed her back over and over, no words coming out of my mouth.

We stayed like this for a couple of minutes, only our cries can be heard.

"Did you really not love my son?" she asked, her eyes staring straight into mine and I felt the responsibility to answer in all honesty.

"I did..." I whispered.

She didn't speak, as if expecting me to continue, which I did.

"As an older brother...as a friend," I added.

Mark is my childhood friend. He acted like my older brother, my best friend.

He does everything for me.

Everything.

But I didn't know he felt different, so different from what I feel about him.

He started controlling my life, choosing the people I should get along with, and terrorizing my suitors which I never knew he did.

He fell for me too much that he started getting this weird idea that we would be together.

At first I thought it was fine. That he'll eventually realized that I only see him as my brother.

But then as days go by, things escalated even more. He started acting polar opposite from what he used to be.

He gets mad whenever he sees me talking with guys, even girls. He follows me around.

The last straw was when he slapped me right after he saw me talking with a male classmate which I was partnered with for a project.

I started avoiding him, hide myself so he won't be able to follow me.

Until he begged, he begged for me to love him.

But I can't.

I can't force myself to love someone I didn't.

He told me he'll die without me.

He told me living isn't worth it if I won't be his.

But I didn't listen.

I left, disregarded his words.

I didn't realize he meant the last words he gave me.

The next thing I knew was the news of him overdosing from pills, killing himself and a letter dedicated to me.

The new of his death alone is enough to keep me locked on my room for weeks.

I refused to eat, and only water kept me alive.

What right do I have to live when I cause someone else's death?

For nights, I kept on having nightmares, crying myself to sleep.

I feel like I was living but dying from the inside.

And then I saw my mom having a breaking down.

That's when it hits me. I need to stop acting like a bitch and pull myself together. So I left, along with the promise that I will be better.

The letter he wrote for me safely hidden in my room and I don't think I'll ever have the courage to read it in this lifetime.

I loved him, but not the same way he does to me.

At one point, I blamed myself for not giving in and accepting his love. I mean, I might be able to fall in love with him after a long time right?

But then it was too late.

I lost him.

I lost someone who is willing to do anything to make me smile, to make me happy.

I lost a person who looks at me like I am the only person worth loving.

I lost him because I chose to keep myself, follow what my heart wishes.

Is that so wrong?

Can't I decide for my happiness?

Was I too selfish for thinking of my own?

"Rosie .... I miss him." she whispered and I felt her grip slowly loosening on mine.

"I know. I miss him too." I told her and I felt her sobs toning down a little.

Until we were only hugging each other, like how we used to do.

Luke moved forward and crouched down before us, his eyes focused on his mom.

"Rosie, I'll take mom home. You need to rest. I'm sorry for this." he apologized bowing down a little before gently pulling his mom up, guiding her so they can go.

After a few steps, I called his name, "Luke..." he turned his back towards my direction and stared at me while I'm still sitting down on the floor.

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry.” I muttered. "I'm sorry for what happened." I told him and he smiled at me.

I was glad I was able to say it and I felt a huge lump coming out of my chest.

"It wasn't your fault Rosie. It wasn't. So stop blaming yourself." he told me before he carried his mom outside.

My eyes landed on the floor, tears still dripping down my cheeks.

And then I felt someone crouched before me.

"You okay babe?" Jake whispered, cupping my cheeks, staring at me lovingly and I had to stop myself from breaking down even more.

"Jake..." I called his name.

How can he stay after all this?

"It's okay babe. I'm here." he wrapped his arms around me and I buried my face on his chest.

But I'm so glad I have him with me, I'd probably stay right here forever if it wasn't for him.

"I'll carry you to your room okay?" he whispered and I just nodded. I felt him carry me bridal style and my arms wrapped around his neck, his warmth giving comfort to me.

I moved a little burying my face even more on his chest, his aftershave smell leaving a trace on my puffy nose.

After a few minutes, I felt my body touched a soft fabric of my bed.

He pulled the blanket, covering my body.

He was about to leave when I pulled his arm.

"Did you hear everything?" I asked, his eyes soften at the sound of my hoarse voice. He sat beside me and brushed my hair gently, I have never felt satisfied my entire life.

"A little. But I didn't pay too much attention because when I saw you crying down on the floor, my surroundings turned dark and my heart shattered into pieces." he whispered, kissing my forehead once more.

"I don't want to see so broken anymore. It's killing me." he whispered and I noticed the moist building up on his eyes.

A tear fell down my cheeks. "Aren't you afraid? You heard her right? I killed her son." I whispered and his jaw tightened.

"You didn't kill anybody Rosie, please remember that. Just because you chose to love yourself too doesn't mean it's your fault he gave up his life. There are things in life that we can't control, one of those is our emotion, and another is how people decide with their lives." he whispered and our eyes met.

His eyes show a lot of emotions and for once, I feel like I made the best decision by allowing him to be a part of my life.

Then realization hit me.

The reason why I never accepted Mark's love was because I never felt warmth with him.

But to Jake's, I felt everything and I probably is about to feel a lot more emotions along the course.

"Jake..." I called his name.

He smiled at me, staring at me like I'm the most delicate in this world.

"I love you..."

I finally admitted.

I love you, Jake.

And that's what it took for him to grab the back of my neck and kiss me full on the mouth.

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