Chapter 44: Chapter 44

Weekend went on a blur. I stopped calling or texting Raja. But he had called me many times but I didn't pick up. It felt like a fraud. I was too broken inside. The face off with Ravi and then later didn't do me any good. Though Rocky understood me better than myself. But I had to lie to him about Raja. I was afraid he was going to fight him. I couldn't have that. He shouldn't have lost anymore because of me. I will continue to live him for the rest of my life but I couldn't spend my time with him. I will call hard and be more hurt than before. I can't have that. I'm hanging by a thread anyway. I can't handle nay more pushes emotional or otherwise.

"You don't look good", said Rita.

"I know”, I told her barely looking at her.

" What happened? ",she asked me again.

" I don't want to talk about it", I told her again.

"Alright. How was your first time?", she asked me.

"Good", I said.

"Just good. I thought he will do better than that", she told me.

"He did actually. Rocky find out that I was out at night", I told her.

"Why does that bother you?", she asked me.

"I don't want him to cause any trouble for Raja", I told her.

"Raja will deal with trouble. Stop worrying about men. I'm sure they can handle it", she admonished me.

"He doesn't like Raja", I told her.

"Why would he? He crushes on you too hard", said Rita.

"I thought he got over it", I told her.

"How could he when you live with him?", she told me.

"I have no where to go", I told her.

"That's pretty awful. You can come with me", she told me.

"It is not easy. I owe lots of money to his family. I can't just go away without giving it back", I told her.

"He is pretty rich. I doubt he needs your money. Even if it is a big sum", she told me.

"It is not Rocky that I owe money. It is his father", I told her.

"So what? Ask him to sue you. You will return money when you have them. You are equally penniless. Even if you stay there they will have to spend money on you isn't it?", she told me.

"No that is not how this will work. Actually Rocky's father had made an agreement that I should marry him or return all his money", I told her.

"What that guy is old enough to be your father", she told me.

"He is but the marriage is for namesake only. He needs someone as his wife. Rocky is his heir. I will be provided for after his death", I told her.

"That is pretty unusual. You never told me this before. So Rocky is crushing on his to be step mother. This is too much dramatic even for soap opera", she told me.

"It is. He respects his father. I don't know why is he behaving in such a way either. When the time comes he will not be able to stop the wedding. That is why I never encouraged him", I told her.

"I understand. I wish you told me this earlier. I wouldn't have tried to push you to Rocky. You have made the right choice with Raja", she told me.

"I didn't chose him because he was better. I chose him because I loved him. I first saw him when I was twelve years old. I was in love with him ever since that day when I saw him working in my stable", I told her.

"Sorry. Did you say that you knew Raja from before? Maybe he is here to save you", said Rita.

"I don't know about that. I don't care about it. Can you not tell this to anyone especially Raja", I told her.

"I won't talk this to anyone. You can trust me. I wish I knew it sooner. I couldn't even imagine the trouble you might have went through. Just to think I talked to you about money troubles. When you were suffering this much", she told me.

"It felt better to unload my sadness. It has been years since I have opened upto someone", I told her.

"I can understand but you can trust me with your secret. I know I wasn't a good friend to you before. But I'm now. You are the only person in college that doesn't consider me a weirdo", she told me.

"Maybe I'm a weirdo too", I told her with a small smile.

"Yes the cool kind", she told me.

"So are you hungry? Should we go to canteen for a snack?", she asked me.

"No I don't want to face Raja today. I'm already feeling pretty low", I told her.

"Why? What happened? He didn't treat you right?", she asked.

"It is not that. He didn't invite me to stay in after the night. I think he just wants to do this as a casual thing. But I want more. I can't be anymore hurt", I told her.

"That bastard. I'm sure he might have even told I love you to get you to sleep with him. We won't ever step afoot inside the canteen ever again", she told me.

"You don't have to do that for me. I'm sure I need to explain myself to him. He had been calling me for some time", I told her.

"OK. That is your decision. I guess your choice is equally bad. Whether it is Rocky, his father of Raja. These three people are hell bent in ruining you", she told me.

"I know that. My life is many things but never easy. I wish my mother was here. She would have helped me", I told her.

"Babe I think God himself can't save you from this shit. You yourself have to do something about it", she told me.

"I know that and I will", I told her with conviction.