Chapter 26: Chapter 26

NOAH

I wake up from the most peaceful sleep I ever had which was a change. I looked around. I am sill in the garden. I sat up and felt something fall off my chest. I look down at my lap. It was a blanket. I lifted it up. No, it was a nightgown. "Mia." I whispered to myself. She must have laid this on me last night. I lifted the material to my nose and took a deep breath. I groaned. Her scent was intoxicating. No wonder I had such a good sleep. Her whole scent was around me the whole night.

Was this how Mia felt when I laid my blanket over her? I shook my head.

I went out of the room and took a shower. I groaned in annoyance. I have to guard Mia all day while breathing in her divine scent. It was getting stronger and stronger I noticed. She couldn't be in heat right? She had already been through her's not too long ago.

After I got dress, I went into the kitchen. I was surprised it wasn't buzzing with people. The only person here was the Luna.

She was sipping a hot drink while looking at her phone. "Lizzy?"

she turned to me and smiled, "Hey Noah."

"where is everyone?"

"Xander is in the office talking the Alpha Kendrick about the wedding. Eddie is training the young pups and Mia and Zapora have gone shopping for the day, considering that the ball is tonght."

I was instantly on high alert, "Mia is gone?" I growled, "I am supposed to be guarding her. Why would you let her go without me? Why would she not alert me of her plans?"

Lizzy rolled her eyes, "Don't worry big guy, Soul is with them."

"Right well that just makes everything bloody dandy then doesn't it!" I growled.

Lizzy's brows furrowed, "Mia said and I quote 'I don't want Noah to be my guard anymore.' So Me and Mia are sharing Soul. I am here where I am near Xander and Mia is with Soul. She's safe."

"She said she didn't want me as her guard anymore." I stated. I should be glad right? She has gotten my emotions all mixed up ever since she got here. I should be relieved. But then why does my chest hurt. I felt a pang in my heart and I don't know why. Am I hurt?

lizzy just stares at me, "It hurts doesn't it. When someone you are close to says something like that."

I walked to Lizzy and sat next to her. I sighed and looked to my hands in confusion.

"Noah." The Luna called. I turned and looked at her. Her eyes were sad, but not for herself. For me. "You love her." She stated.

I looked away and closed my eyes. I tooks a deep breath, "Love is a strong word Lizzy."

She rolls her eyes, "Fine, but you care for her don't you?"

I stayed silent. I could tell that I was making her frustrated. "She's your mate. I already know."

My eyes widen, "How did you find out?"

She smirked at me, "You just told me."

I groaned and looked back to my hands.

"Why aren't you with her if you know she's your mate?"

"Because It will hurt her more if I am with her."

"Why? Please don't make Xander's mistake and say that you have a dark past that you want to protect Mia from."

I shook my head, "No, its not about my past. It's about my future. If I invest everything into being with Mia and I do fall in love with her. What do I do when I have to leave her to get married to another woman."

"We can find a way. Soul could-"

"Soul is leaving after you give birth to find his mate. There is no one else but me. It all depends on me whether our pack will go to war or not. We are already at war with the rogues, we cannot afford to have a war with Alpha Kendrick's pack. Not while you have a new born pup either. What I want is irrelevant. Al that matters is the well-being of this pack."

Lizzy sighs and shakes her head, "But what do you want Noah?"

I shake my head, "I cannot afford to think about what I want."

Lizzy tugs on my shirt, making me look at her, "Imagine if you weren't engaged. Imagine if we weren't at war and we were living normally again. What would you choose?"

I thought about. If I had no obligations. I didn't have to worry about Mia or the pack or anyone. I realised that I never thought this way. All that's been on my mind was how to protect Mia from getting hurt from me being engaged and the well-being of the pack. I always try to guard myself with Mia, but every now and then, the connection becomes so strong that I can't help, but give in. Today when we were at my wife's grave and our lips were about to touch. I wanted to do it so bad. I wanted to feel her lips so bad. But then she said my eyes were glowing and reality settled in. It was dangerous for my lycan to be around Mia. And then this morning when I woke up. I had the best sleep and it was because of Mia. It made me realize how much of an effect she has on me. She chases all the bad away...I said that to her once, in the cottage and it was true. She made me feel good on the inside.

"What would you choose, Noah?" Lizzy repeated.

Then it dawned on me, "I would without a doubt choose Mia."

I felt Lizzy's sadness radiate from her heart, "Then why don't you be with her for the time that you have."

"i can't"

"But you'll be hurt at the end."

"But it will protect Mia...and that's all that matters."

I turn to the Luna and say, "Don't you see Lizzy. I do realize that she is my mate. I do realize that I care for her ...maybe even more deeply than I actually thought. And it's going to hurt like hell knowing that I will never be able to live a life with her. That she can't be Kieth's mother. That we can't grow old together. But if it means that it may spare her a lttle bit of pain at the end...then it's worth it for me."

***

MIA

"Zapora we have been in this god damn mall for hours and we still haven't found a thing for me. I am sure I can find something in my closet."

Zapora froze and slowly turned around and glared at me, "Don't you dare say those words to me."

"What? That we've been in this mall for hours?"

"No, that you can find something in your closet. Those words are an insult to fashion. We are going to take as long as we have to, to find something for you because you are going to show that stupid Beta what he is missing out on!"

I laughed under my breath and rolled my eyes, "Fine!"

We kept walking, well Zapora was dragging me and Soul was groaning behind us.

"Why do you girls need a new piece if clothing for every event!"

"So than we can look attractive!" Zapora snapped.

"But you already have a mate! What's the point?"

Zapora turned around and pointed her finger at him, "It is not because of my mate it is because I want to look good! I don't need no man confirming that I look good because I know I look good god damn it! I'm no insecure woman! I am confident and sassy and hot! And I want to look even hotter tonight at this ball! Do you have a problem with that big brother?"

Solomon just stood there dazed.

"You on your period or somethin," he mumbled under his breath.

I cringed to myself.

Zapora hit him in the chest, "You are unbelievable. Come on Mia."

She took my hand and dragged me into another store.

This one looked even more expensive than the last one.

We looked around for some dresses. I tried on some dresses and it ended with the same result. No dresses.

As we were about to leave, a Middle Ages woman rushed to us. She had a tag on which indicates that she must have worked here.

"Wait! Miss! Miss wait!"

We all turned around.

"I couldn't help but notice you ladies struggling to find a dress."

I nodded my head, "Yeah. We have a ball tonight and we've been to almost every store. Nothing seems to suit me!"

She smiled at me. "I think I have a dress that will. It used to be mine when I was young and hip."

We all snickered when we heard her using that term.

"Please follow me."

***

NOAH

"You need a break bro. You've been in this office all day."

"Eddie, I know when I need a break. Now get out."

Eddie just chuckles, "Come on bro. Take a break." Then walks out.

I laid back in my chair and sighed. I rubbed my eyes. Yeah maybe I should have a break. I looked outside and saw it was clear. Maybe a walk would do me good.

I got out if my chair and went down stairs and out the door. I walk around the area fora while. I see the kids playjng in the snow. Life is so simple in a child's mind. When they want something they get it. They are either happy or sad. They either love or they don't. It's so black and white. A life of an adult is so much more complicated. You can be happy but heart broken at the same time. You can be sad, but also happy. You want something but you can't get it. You love someone but you have to let them go. I release a deep breath. A life of an adult.

"What are you contemplating, old friend."

I smirk. I'd know that voice anywhere. I turn and see one of my longest friends.

I now my head at him, "Lincoln."

He chuckles, "Oh Noah. Haven't seen you for a while."

"Yeah this whole rogue problem has gotten me busy. It's stressing me out."

Lincoln glances at me, "Are you sure that's the only thing stressing you out."

I roll my eyes. Of course, "I already know you know Lincoln. It's impossible for you to not know. But my question is, how do you know?"

"Lizzy."

I scoff, "Of course. The bloody woman doesn't know how to keep her mouth shut."

"Hey don't go blaming her. I asked how you were and she answered honestly."

I shook my head and released a harsh sigh.

"So...who is this Mia girl?"

I closed my eyes when I heard her name. Even her very name effects me.

"She's a healer."

"We both know she's more than that."

I didn't deny it. I was tired of denying it.

"She's your mate Noah."

I closed my eyes, "I know," I whispered.

"Then why deny her?"

"Didn't Lizzy tell you?"

Lincoln shook his head, "I stopped her from tellin me any more. I wanted to hear the rest from you."

I furrowed my brows as I said, "If I be with her...it will hurt her more when I will leave to marry another woman. The whole well-being if this pack depends on this marriage. How could I hurt Mia like that."

"That's the thing though brother, you have to let her decide that. You tell her everything and leave the decision up to her. If she still wants to be with you, then be together for the time that you have. If she knows it will be too painful...then you'll have to learn to move on with Sophie."

Noah didn't know what to do, "What if she chose to be with me. I'm not sure if I can be in love and then just slowly fall out of it again."

Lincoln turned to Noah, grasped his shoulders and said, "All I can tell you...is that when you have the real love...it is impossible to fall out of it. No matter what, that love stays forever. But you have to ask yourself, is it worth the risk?"

I felt frustration building inside. I growled and snarled, "I don't know!"

"The risk of love is going to be loss and the risk of loss is going to be grief. But if you think about it...isn't the pain of pure utter grief is just a little shadow when compared to the pain of never risking love?" I felt Lincoln pat my shoulder and then walk off.

***

MIA

I looked at myself in the changing room. My breath hitched when I saw the dress. It was stunning. It was a maroon dress with a tight and detailed upper half that flared out into a beautiful flow.

"Hey! How's it fitting in there?" Zapora asked. I couldn't even respond at the moment. I've never felt more...beautiful. But for some reason...in a strange way. I didn't like it. I didn't want to try be beautiful because it was my beauty that got me kicked out of my pack.

The curtain behind me opened and Zapora walks in. As soon as she saw me, her eyes widened and her mouth made an o shape, "Oh my glob! Mia! You look like a total babe!"

"Really?"

She nodded her head, frantically, "YES! You look amazing! I cannot believe it!"

I couldn't help, but giggle at her reaction.

"Mia you have to get it! Please for the love of all things good and sweet PLEASE GET THE DAMN DRESS!"

I sighed. I didn't really want to...but it was a ball. I shouldn't dress inappropriately now should I? I nodded my head.

Zapora raised her arms in victory, "Yus! We have found ourselves a dress after a whole day!"

Zapora went out of the changing room so than I could put my normal clothes back on. I came out of the dressing room and Soul was falling asleep in one of the chairs. I laughed under my breath. Poor Solomon.

I went to the woman to pay for the dress. But she suddenly shook her head, "No, please take it. Free of charge."

My eyes widen in shock, "No, I can't. Please let me pay. It must have such an expensive dress."

The woman shook her head, "No. It used to belong to my daughter who has passed away. You remind me a lot of her. Please...take it."

I felt my eyes sting slightly in tears. Her kindness touched me heart. I pulled her in a hug, "Thank you so much. I won't ever forget your kindness."

The woman just nodded and smiled.

Once we left, we drove back to the pack. Solomon was carrying all of Zapora's bag when I carried my one bag. She can really shop. If it was a sport...she would be an athlete.

As soon as we walked into the house. I was bombarded by scent that I knew too well. I looked to my right and saw Noah at the kitchen counter, looking at something on his laptop.

"Mia, we should start to get ready in about an hour."

"What about the decorations and all?"

Zapora waved her hand, "Don't even worry about that. Xander has gotten the teen warriors in training to decorate the hall."

I nodded my head. She then continues to boss Solomon to bring her things to her room.

I looked back at Noah and saw that he was already staring at me.

"Hello Noah."

But he did not say anything. He just stared. "You don't want me to be your guard." He wasn't questioning it. He was stating it.

"Yes that is true. I thought it to be better for the both of us if we just...stayed away from each other."

Noah again did not say anything. He just stared at me with his intense blue eyes. I wanted to say something else. But I couldn't. I couldn't do it. It was too painful to even look at him. It was like a child looking at a prize that it didn't win. I looked away and made my way up the stairs.

As I went up the stairs, I bumped into Lily. I smiled down at her, "Hello Lily. How are you today?"

She gave me a shy and gentle smile, "I'm good, thank you. Are you going to the ball tonight?"

I nodded my head, "Yes I am. Are you?"

She nodded her head, "I-I a-am ex-ex-excited for it."

"That's good we both get to look like princesses tonight."

Her smiled widened, "Yes. I am going to be a p-p-princess."

I noticed something different about her, "Your words have gotten much better now Lily."

She looked down shy, "Thank you. I have been singing. Singing helps me. I always sing and that makes my silly words go away."

I smiled down at her in encouragement, "Well, you are doing so well. You can hardly tell now."

She smiled and nodded. I continued up the stairs as Lily went down humming her song. When I suddenly froze.

I looked back down at Lily. She was humming. But the melody of the song is incredibally familiar. It was very vivid though. Like I heard it in a dream or something, or maybe-

Wait a minute. I did hear it in a dream. that was the song that I always hear in my dreams. How could she have known it?

"Lily?" I called.

She stopped and turned around.

"Where did you hear that song?"

she smiled, "Uncle sings it to me to help with my silly words."

Why would Eddie know that song, "How does your Uncle Eddie know that song?"

She giggled, "Not Uncle Eddie, silly. Uncle Noah."

I froze in shock, "Your uncle noah sings to you?"

She nodded and went off to do something. But I just stood there. It's been him. He's been doing it this whole time.

I needed to talk to him about it. I need to know if it really was him.

***